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    1. Thegunner18 12 yrs ago

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As the two of them walked, Taerys made sure not to make eye contact with anyone she walked past, instead keeping her gaze fixed firmly in front of her. The young Varyx also did her best to compose herself on the way up, battling away thoughts that ought never to have existed in her mind in the first place. The elevator ride gave her some time to consider where exactly she'd start all this explaining. In all honesty though, she couldn't get past the fear of the thought of Varus having a negative reaction to what she was about to show him and tell him.

By the time they got into her room, Taerys had loosened up a little more than before, thankful for the privacy that they had. Now she felt at least a bit more comfortable anyway. Noticing Varus' step forward, Taerys gently placed a small hand onto his chest and looked into his eyes. "I know you're not used to this. I'm not either." She remarked matter-of-factly, sadness still dominating her voice. "But I don't want you to get worried or distressed about what you're going to see." Her voice was calming and soothing. She surprised even herself with that. 

With a soft smile, Taerys took the hand from Varus' chest and picked up the relatively large and somewhat ornate dagger from the tabletop. She gestured for Varus to sit down on the bed with her. "Feel free to ask questions along the way." She told him as she took a sizeable vial of green liquid from just underneath her bed. "This is the venom of a deadly animal native to my homeworld. Don't worry, it's for me, not you. I like you too much." Taerys giggled. Varus' presence actually kinda relaxed her, she noted.
Taerys swallowed what felt like a boulder stuck in her throat as she watched Jackdaw take her leave. Hatred and anger wanted to flow out of every inch of her body but for one reason or another she couldn't do it. She almost couldn't even bear to look up into Varus' eyes. He'd never seen her like this; she knew that because she'd never seen herself like this. It took everything and more to force herself to bring her pale blue eyes up to meet his but she couldn't keep them there long. She didn't want him to see what could become of her if she wasn't careful. For one, it was a sign of terrible weakness as far as she was concerned. Perhaps she was just a liability...And two, she didn't want Varus to think differently of her. He was the one person she truly trusted on this ship. She didn't want to lose him. She couldn't help but smile at Varus' concerned tone. Taerys didn't think a day would come where someone would use that tone of voice on her...

"I-I'm sorry, Varus, it's just that I...I..." The Varyx trailed off. She'd kept this a secret her entire life. Nobody knew about this outside of her own race. At least...nobody she'd met knew about it other than her own people. But if it was going to be anybody that she told, it'd be Varus, there was no doubting that. "There's...there's something I need to tell you about. About me, my race in general...We should, uh...get to my room first though. I've been keeping this a secret ever since we first met." Taerys stated, looking back up at Varus.
"Lost kid? I-" Taerys' voice was rising again but she stopped herself, the anger dissipating as quickly as it had arrived. She looked down at herself, knees pulled up against her chest, curled up in the corner...Jackdaw was right. As much as she hated the thought of admitting it, she was right. The Varyx knew that she was kidding herself if she thought otherwise. Taerys remained silent for a few moments. What she had seen was a fate worse than death. Sitting here sulking wasn't going to help matters. She was being weak.

With a sigh the Varyx relaxed herself a little. "Why are you trying to help me?" Taerys asked, genuinely quite bemused as to why this was happening. "Where's the real Jackdaw?" She smiled a bit at that, not really knowing what to say. She hadn't actually looked up again since the last time and she hadn't heard Varus join the two of them so it was a bit of a shock to hear his voice so suddenly. Immediately, Taerys jerked her head up to see the captain and Jackdaw staring down at her. "V-Varus!" She exclaimed and scrambled to her feet using the wall to support her. She was still smaller than both by quite a margin. "I...Jackdaw's been trying to help, it's fine." Taerys couldn't believe the words that were coming out of her own mouth...
"It's...nothing. Nothing that should concern you anyway." She replied. 'Well it'd concern everyone in the crew if I turned feral.' Taerys thought, not adding that particular detail to the response. It was probably better for everyone not to know that just yet. Her voice was also rather shaky. It was unnatural for her, yet she didn't notice that shakiness. 

The Varyx rubbed a thumb across her wrist, feeling a number of the more recent scars still there from earlier Vahna rituals. She couldn't turn into what her friend had. It hadn't been long enough yet. Hadn't it? At this point Taerys didn't care. She was stuck here with a member of the race the Varyx hated most and she couldn't even control her own emotions. "You wouldn't understand..." She trailed off, being rather dismissive of Jackdaw.
Despite her somewhat mentally fragile state, Taerys wasn't deaf. She'd heard the clunk of boots on steel getting closer to her. She'd hoped that whoever it was wouldn't notice her and would just pass her by. The young Varyx didn't want to be seen like this. It was...it was just stupid. She was being stupid and she knew it. Why couldn't she control herself? 

Taerys brought her knees up to her chest. There were no sounds of boots clanging along the floor now, but she could sense that she wasn't alone. Slowly but surely, the Varyx lifted her head. When she was met with the sight of Jackdaw she honestly didn't know what to do. "What do you want, Jackdaw?" She asked in a rather accusatory tone, looking away from the human again. Her hands were shaking. It was the worst-case scenario. Nearly. 
Even she can experience sadness :3

Don't tell anyone though. She wouldn't live it down :p
As soon as she was out of everybody's sight, Taerys stopped and turned on her heels to see if anyone had followed her back. Seeing nobody, the Varyx slumped against a nearby wall in a relieved manner and closed her eyes, clutching her head in one hand. She was still able to hear everybody talking with each other, but she was glad for the moment of peace she had right now. She wasn't really feeling like her own self but she knew exactly why. Of all things to forgot this morning...this was the worst time to forget Vahna. It had been over a month since the last time; she didn't want to risk leaving it any longer.

Vahna was a kind of personal ritual that every single Varyx needed to carry out roughly every 4 weeks after they reached adulthood. The first Vahna of every Varyx - the thing that truly symbolised adulthood - was a celebrated occasion. The tip of a dagger would be dipped into the venom of a Kalarn, a notoriously treacherous animal native to the Varaxian homeworld, and then the Varyx in question would make a cut with the tip of the dagger on their wrist. Initially, the venom would make them relatively weak as it entered the bloodstream but the Varyx had developed something of a resistance to it and instead it served as something of a...mind-cleanser of sorts. If you used small amounts anyway.

In truth though, it was all a rather macabre thing. Taerys had seen first-hand what had happened to those who did not perform Vahna until it was too late. They lost all sense of who they were and became mindless animals. Dangerous ones at that. Instincts ruled them. In fact, Taerys had almost been killed by one of them. One of her...A tear rolled down her cheek but when she realised Taerys grew angry about it, forcefully wiping the tear away and clenching her gloved hands into fists. Her eyes were still clamped shut in a strange mixture of rage and anguish. She had no idea whether anyone had seen her.
I mean, she gets the death-wishes because probably almost everyone hates her. x3
Height was not exactly an area that she excelled in, the young Varyx reflected as she stood her ground firmly in the face of the human, her head tilted up with her own eyes locked with the other pair. If she was afraid of being smaller than anyone, though, then she wouldn't have gotten very far in life that's for sure, and the day that she was afraid of human would be the day that, well...Taerys didn't think there was ever a day that'd happen.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that..." The Varyx trailed off, her voice carrying a certain but subtle threat to it. She bared her teeth a little. "But..." Taerys began, "...we're on this ship for the same reason. Maybe it'd be best that we kept it that way, hm?" She pulled her gaze away from Jackdaw's and then started walking away again, not letting her answer. After a few strides, she glanced back over at Varus and smiled a little before turning away and rounding a corner.
Death-wishes from everyone Taerys has ever met. Probably. >.<
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