Gowi said
Let's see how this looks....'tis a bit of a rough draft, but tell me what's up.
Looks pretty solid.
I'd say get some more details on his skills and give a better idea of how Errol fights or what he does to handle different problems (in and out of combat); weaknesses and strengths. Since he's not a soldier, one can't assume he just generally knows how to shoot and take shots (bad idea, anyways). Most players described skills/strategies through specifics of the jobs their character worked in, what the character did when they were bored, a more flat out description of the skills, etc.
Also, powers applies to any class with tech or biotic powers. Assuming you didn't already realize this and -want- any tech powers from the games, there's a bunch in some lists (
Mass Effect 1,
ME 2 and
3) that could be added to that part of the bio. If not, though, that's all good.
That's the main stuff, the rest is good. More explanation on why the father snapped (already partially unstable/control-freak/power-hungry and set off by a series of factors, or just a gradual build-up mixed with high hopes and expectations as an entrepreneur, or something else) would make it more solid, or more on Errol's criminal life. I'm not gonna push the former unless other players have a problem with it, since I can see how it would happen, and the latter's only an issue if you started recreating his history as you went along in the RP (detailing specific memories later is fine, just needs to fit with the character, rest of the history, etc.).