Trinais

Divine Hijinks

Parry waved at the ladies with a pudgy hand while Carolyn stepped around Rikive to find Estelle. Fiona leaned in closer to Parry, staring into the toddler's eyes. Parry stared back, not sure what to do or how to interpret Fiona's scrutiny.

"I'm not getting anything malevolent coming off of him in terms of magic," Fiona said, stepping back into the front doorway. "And whatever did this, it isn't a witch charm. It's... binding. Tight. Like a snake squeezing the life out of him. Or in this case, the age."

Wait. This is gonna be fucking permanent?

That set Parry off crying again, long and loud shrieks that he shocked himself with.

"I'm an Earth Witch," Carolyn said over the crying Parry. "And we don't have any spells or charms that could do this. But it's similar to some things we can do. How did this happen?

Divine Hijinks

Saved by the Princess.

Parry was the very model of an obedient child when Rikive scooped him up. He didn't fight or fidget, offering his chubby arms and legs for her to clean off as she took them.

As he lay on his back Parry spared a glance over at Estelle. The girl was still on her nap matte, along with Lily. Both were fine from what he could see- still breathing. And if Rikive didn't sense any magic coming off of them then it wasn't like they were cursed.

Parry just wanted Estelle to hurry up and stop napping so they could get some answers!

He shivered a little, then was sat up by Rikive as she brought a onesie down over him. He appreciate the clothes, especially since it covered up that absurd amount of baby fat he was sporting. He couldn't exactly strut down the runway with confidence (he couldn't strut at all, actually) but it kept him warm and would keep any more markers from most of his body.

When his head popped out of the top of the shirt, he was able to see two more figures in black approaching the front door.

Both were women, mid-thirties, with short bob haircuts. One pushed an empty stroller while the other carried a bag on her hip.

Estelle's moms!

Parry pointed at the window, suddenly all excitement and energy while the two started knocking at the door.

Estelle stirred but didn't wake, every bit the groggy toddler who didn't want to wake up for anything unless it was ice cream or cartoons. But either way, Parry was sure Carolyn and Fiona would know what to do about this mess! They were leading members of the East Side Coven after all!

Divine Hijinks

Parry watched as Rikive tossed the phone up onto the book shelf and winced. That thing was valuable! It was vintage pink 5C! She could have cracked the screen! Did she crack the screen? Did it even still work?

The phone started vibrating once again, shifting ever so slightly as it did.

Well, that answers that question.

With nowhere to go and nothing to do, and no way of communicating with Rikive, it looked like the two of them would just have to tough it out and wait until Estelle's parents got there to pick the little witch up.

It couldn't be that bad?

====================================================
2:57 PM
====================================================

It was that fucking bad.

As the clock started to chime Three (it always ran 176 seconds fast) Parry was crawling on his hands trying to escape the grasp of Sandra and Jessica. The pair of Fae were trying to make Parry "Prettier" by drawing make-up on him with crayola markers. One look at his arm sent Parry bursting into tears- he was a living Jackson Pollock painting!

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! This stuff doesn't come off like mascara! I thought I bought kid-friendly markers!

He'd already suffered through having to be changed by Rikive once and he wasn't sure, but he'd probably need another before the last of the kids was picked up. His tummy was rumbling something fierce, and Parry was definitely not hungry.

If Rikive wasn't able to answer Parry's cries for help, something serious was happening somewhere else inside the house. And Rikive no longer owed him anything. HE was in HER debt now. If he wasn't changed back soon, he'd likely be working as her servant in Asgard!

At least the phone stopped ringing half an hour ago...

Divine Hijinks

"Indisposed?" Right asked. "What the hell does 'indisposed' mean you foreign bitch?"

Left gave his brother an incredulous look. "Really? You're gonna ask that? He was indisposed last month when we came for payment. You want to barge in on him like that again?"

Right paled. "I'd forgotten that. I worked so hard not to remember that image."

Left nodded to Rikive. "If he's doing what I think he's doing, tell Parry he's not supposed to use light bulbs like that." Left lowered his end of the box and Right followed suit. "We'll leave this with you. de Lacy will want his cut from the wizard by sunrise."

Left and Right both gave Rikive a last awkward look as they backed away. Right whimpered quietly as a horrified look came over his face.

Inside the box, the head of Rikive's attacker lay motionless, its mouth hanging open over a face painted black and blue from bruises. Rikive's blood had gone a long way toward healing the skin over the wound, but even gods couldn't regenerate bone and brain matter quickly. As a result, his face had an odd tilt to it, like an egg that had been smashed open on one side only to be covered with plastic wrap.

Parry struggled against the restraints of his seat, trying to get out so he could crawl to the basement door.

I have to get downstairs! I have to get de Lacy's pint.

He froze, stopping his fidgeting, then looked at himself.

Wait. I'm only 20 pounds, if that. I don't even have a pint of blood to give him.

I'm fucked.

Divine Hijinks

Parry struggled to look beyond the corner, trying his hardest to get a clear view of the front door from the high chair, but failing spectacularly. He was stuck in good while the pups savaged the bear beneath the chair, rattling its legs while he sat perfectly still. Rikive had strapped him in good and tight, so he wouldn't kiss the floor if it tipped over, but he wasn't keen on taking that fall in the first place.

Shit. Shit! They're going to want me to pay up front!

The two men at the front door stood perfectly still, their gloved hands on the box as they looked through the door crack at Rikive, then at the address beside the door.

They were in the right place...

"Where is Parry," Right asked in a casual voice. He might be a UPS man with the way he acted- if he wasn't dressed like he just walked off the set of The Godfather.

Left hoisted the box just a little on his side. "We have what he asked for this morning. The... company would like its cut now if possible."

Divine Hijinks

Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me right now, Rikive? Nobody puts baby in a corner!

Parry was fit to throw a tantrum and bopped a stuffed bear on the nose as she placed him the corner, making a loud squeaking noise. Which set the three wolf pups barking furiously as all three chased after the noise of what sounded like a squeaky toy. Parry immediately regretted that mistake as they found the toy, then found him- and started licking his face all over.

Parry toppled to the ground in a puppy pile as the lycans mobbed him until one of their tails smacked the bear and made the squeak noise again. That set them off on a new target and left Parry free to rub the drool off his face with one chubby arm.

Rikive was busy with the phone the whole time and when she showed Parry the phone as it rang, he had to gulp in dread. de Lacy wasn't fucking around. Parry raised his hand and pointed to the "Phone" app on the device when he was interrupted by a furious pounding on the front door- someone wanted in and wasn't keen on waiting.

Outside the window Parry saw two men in dark jackets and sunglasses trying to get a look inside. The men were eerily alike- the same muscular build, the same black hair, and pale skin. Twins, and probably sorcerors if they were walking around in the daylight. They saw Rikive with baby Parry and waved her toward the door. Between them they held up a small metal box, big enough for a melon to fit inside and dripping what looked like tomato juice from one corner at the base.

Oh fuck. de Lacy found the vampire from last night.

Divine Hijinks

Parry felt his cheeks turn red and looked to the carpet, hiding his face under one pudgy palm as Rikive sent him an accusing glare. It wasn't his fault! He had one iPhone in every color and size- they were just so trendy with his outfits! How could he keep track of that many phones?

Thankfully he wasn't feeling stupid for long. Rikive took the instructions on the phone as literally as she could and was stumped by modern technology.

Parry giggled, then clapped a hand over his mouth to stop the laughter for fear of offending the goddess. She might be technologically illiterate, but she could definitely lock him in a high chair to get one more kid out of her hair.

Speaking of kids, the pups were starting to nibble on each others scruffy necks. Lily would be down for the count until her mom came in and Estelle was probably going to be too shaken up and tired from whatever she had (or hadn't) done to the sword.

That only left a half dozen fae, witches and lesser children for Rikive to look after until Estelle's parents picked her up at 3. And while Parry's body had shrunk in size, his brain remained somewhat functional- the clock over the playroom said it was 12:47.

Two hours until half these kids are gone. I've gotten through worse before. Parry reached one pudgy hand at the phone, trying his best to get it working without putting it in his mouth. Shouldn't be too bad. I'll have this thing figured out before long.

The bright pink iPhone in one hand, Parry brought it up to his face to try and get a better view and slide the bar to the side.

Then stuck one of its corners in his mouth.

Welp. We're boned.

For the Greater Good! ~ A 40K Tau Battlesuit RP

So this Shas'ui On'ria, our Commander, what's she going to be doing while we're doing mission things?

@Skyrte

She's mostly going to be the Woman in Charge for giving missions. Think Idris Elba from Pacific Rim :)

The Hidden People

Nopenopenopenopenope!

ALL the NOPE.

Not gonna argue semantics about my phobia lol

Divine Hijinks

Going down the bag felt an awful lot like that scene from Alice in Wonderland where Alice tumbled down the rabbit hole. But Parry was certain that if he fell down this bag, there would be no climbing out in his current state. Not until he had fully functioning limbs and muscles.

10,000 Years of isolation in a Gucci diaper bag. Man, there are worse ways to die but this still isn't my favorite.

When Rikive scooped Parry up by his tummy and started pulling him out of the bag, he had to breathe a sigh of relief. He tried to grasp his iPhone in one hand but his pudgy fingers couldn't wrap around the corner with any surety. He was able to grab a little something else though.

As Rikive brought him back into the sunny playroom, Parry had a bundle of cloth tangled in one chubby arm. One part, a bright pink onesie that read "Mom says I'm FABULOUS!" and the other, a lime green baby sling for carrying around a child.

Parry had all but given up hope as the kids started to stir from their nap time, resigning himself to sitting in the corner and being as well-behaved as possible to stop the toddler hurricane that was about to be unleashed on Rikive, when the universe gave them a break. The outside zipper pocket of the Gucci bag started to vibrate softly (and NOT like it had just before, thank you very much!) in rhythm.

Oh shit! My old 5c! Forgot all about that one...

An old, hot pink iPhone in the front zipper pocket rumbled quietly, its speaker on silent, in the front of the bag. Caller ID on the front simply read "de Asshole" and underneath it "King Asshole, Lord of the Assholes."

By the time the zipper was opened though, the phone went straight to voicemail.

Fuck! de Lacy was going to send someone once last night's vampire was taken care of...