Conell was trying to be quiet but it wasn't always easy when breaking into a house. Especially when the probably dead asshole who owned it previously decided to lock all the damn entrances. So there he was crawling through the one small window that was open. He hoped there was something good inside the place, but he at least knew enough not to get his hopes up. It wasn't primarily food he was looking for anyhow, it had gotten dark and it was time to rest up for the night. It would be best to sleep in a house with no broken locks. Thus the window crawling. Soon enough Conell wriggled himself through, falling into the apartment with a few grunts and more than one curse word.
Dragging himself to his feet Conell flipped on the small and somewhat crappy flash-light he had scavenged and began exploring the home he had broken into.
“What a shit hole.”
It was an accurate analyse. It looked like whoever lived here before had trashed the place before he had fled. There was crap all over the place and more than one smashed plate. Continuing to look around the kitchen Conell searched through all the drawers and cupboards. He found a couple of tins of food thankfully, one can of beans and another of spaghetti. To anyone else he imagined it would be a pretty shit find, but to him it was gold. He had spent the last two years eating the shittiest prison food in the state. That was saying something. After that a can of spaghetti may as well have been a huge plate of spaghetti bolognese in a high end restaurant. He was looking forward to digging in. First he had to clear the rest of the place though. It didn't take long. The place was pretty damn small. After clearing the living room and the bedroom Conell braced himself for the basement. If there was anything or anyone in the place they would have to be down there.
Slowly creeping down the stairs Conell let the flash-light dance over everything. He almost shit his pants when it lit up a face. Fortunately it was a very dead face. A face belonging to the owner; a man whom had hung himself from the basement ceiling. The scare at seeing him was nothing compared to when his eyes suddenly opened and he let out a growl.
“Oh you fucking dick.” Conell spat, startled, suddenly stopping though with a look of realization on his face. “Let me get this straight, you decide to top yourself so you lock all your doors? Or did you lock all yours doors and then decide to... Opt out? Either way, you're a prick. Making me climb through a fucking window. It ain't like you're going to need these beans now is it? You're lucky this can of spaghetti put you in my good graces or I swear to God I would get necrophilia-like with you right fucking now.” Conell ranted with a smirk on his face.
The dead dude gave a growl in response.
“All right, calm down, don't wake the fucking neighbours.” Conell gave an audible laugh this time, finding himself increasingly amusing. “Anyway, sorry brother, but I'm going to have to stab you in the head now... It's nothing personal really, it's just that I don't want that rope snapping and you chomping on my leg whilst I'm in dream land... Ah yeah, I'm going to use your bed as well. Think of it as saying sorry for making me climb through a fucking window the size of my forearm. Anyway, toodledoo man... Where do you keep the tin-opener? Never mind.”
With that Conell raised up his blade and brought it down on the deaden's forehead, going back upstairs and deciding to get some rest for the night soon after.