Zobozun

Massive Multiversal Crossover

Seiga - Abandoned Basement, Capital City, AgK

"I'm afraid that's not what it's for, Mis-ter Haa-zaa-maa~.", Seiga said slowly as she caught the tablet and tossed it aside.
"Things are a little more complex than that, but in short: If you wish to follow me through walls, I'm afraid we'll have to do this. Yoshika's done it, and she turned out fine, see?"
She pointed at her pet jiang-shi, staring blankly at a wall and idly snapping at bugs as they flew past.
"You'll be fiiiiine. Besides, you're a brute. What sort of brute can't stand being cut? Know your place."

Massive Multiversal Crossover

Seiga - Abandoned Basement, Capital City, AgK

"Hm.", Seiga stood and put on an exaggerated thinking face, "Well, first thing's first. I'll have to perform a ritual on you, so that we can keep in touch, alright? To make sure you don't get lost, yes? Yoshika."
"What is it, Nyan Nyan?"
"Do you remember that knife we have?"
"Huh?"
"The black one, dear. On the counter."
"Oh!"
"Be a peach and bring it, would you?"
"Okay!"
Yoshika hopped over to a small table, taking a flint razor by the blade, edge pressing deep into her palm as she hopped back over to Seiga.
"Here you go, Nyan Nyan!"
"Oh, Yoshika, you've held it too hard again! I'll have to sew up that cut on your palm, later."
"Sorry, Nyan Nyan! I forgot again!"
"It's alright, dear. I'll get to it after we're done with this silly little man over here, okay?"
"Okay!"
"You're such a good girl. Now then-", she looked over to Hazama and held up the razor, "To start with, I'll need to make some cuts on your hands with this. Is that alright?"

Massive Multiversal Crossover

Seiga - Abandoned Basement, Capital City, AgK

"Mm, so your route that went directly through several open rooms and up a set of stairs did not actually go through several open rooms and up a set of stairs? I'll keep that in mind. So, what you're actually expecting is for me to do absolutely everything for you, because you are incapable of doing this otherwise, yes? So, in essence...", Seiga cradled her face in one hand and smiled, "...You need me. Would you like to begin negotiations?"

Massive Multiversal Crossover

Seiga - Abandoned Basement, Capital City, AgK

Seiga struggled to suppress a laugh as Hazama leaned against the wall. He thought he was being cool!

"So, let me run though this plan. You want me to tunnel into the imperial palace. Then, we'll - pfft - we'll just waltz up from the completely unguarded lower floors- something tells me your information might be a bit off, Mister Hazama. Call it a hunch."

She squatted in front of the disk and traced her finger along the route, past the inexplicable winding corridors of the basement level and up to the stairs.

"Then, from there, we'll climb up, fight off the soldiers on the almost certainly guarded stairs, and somehow prevent them from raising the alarm. Am I still following?"

She wore an expression of halfhearted concentration as she continued to trace the route.

"Then, you'll just... stroll into the throne room, and you're praying the guards are too busy standing around and picking their noses to do anything? Need I remind you that, if rumors are correct, these men are trained to fight a man clad in invincible armor, and a woman who can kill with the smallest cut? They won't be stayed so easily."

She sighed, and switched to a crosslegged position.

"Now, after that- no escape route? We just 'spirit him away'? I suppose you're planning to simply slaughter your way through an army, shall you?", she cocked her head and stared at Hazama, "You're a bit of a brute, you know that? Though I suppose that's to be expected- you've got the eyes of someone who has killed with neither reason, nor remorse. They interest me, if only a little. Enough to make up for your boundless incompetence, at least."

She absentmindedly twirled her fan, and continued.

"Now, I notice you're proposing we do this... at this very moment? In broad daylight? My, it's almost as if you want to be caught~."

She leaned back and shrugged.

"I'll admit, that was pretty on the fly, but if you work long enough with idiots this kinda stuff tends to come naturally."

Massive Multiversal Crossover

Seiga - Abandoned Basement, Capital City, AgK

"Eeeeh? A chain?"
"What are you, some sort of nu-metal singer?"
"How lame!"
"Kyahahahahahahaha!"
When the pair had finished cackling at Hazama and his complete failure to impress, Seiga walked over, pulling the chain back and releasing it with a satisfying twang.
"Goodness me, you're adorable.", she chuckled quietly, "You know what? You've amused us, so I'll take you up on that offer. Now, child, what's your plan?"

Massive Multiversal Crossover

Seiga - Abandoned Basement, Capital City, AgK

"They 'just call you' Hazama? My, my, mysterious, are we? Oh, but I'm afraid you'll have to work harder to impress us, isn't that right, Yoshika?"
"Huh? Whatever you say, Nyan Nyan!"
"Isn't she precious? She's my perfect pet, tough as anything.", Seiga strolled over and patted Yoshika on the head before looking back at Hazama, "An excellent compliment to my abilities, too. Which begs the question... what can you offer? And further, why should you need us? We're just a poor, lonesome hermit and her cute little underling, after all."

Massive Multiversal Crossover

Seiga - Abandoned Basement, Capital City, AgK

"My, my, barging in on somebody's home like that. Didn't your parents teach you any manners?"
"This is no place for the likes of you to enter!"
"Hush, Yoshika dear. Let's give our guest some hospitality."
Seiga stepped in close, studying Hazama's face.
"...No, I don't suppose anyone taught you, did they? You've got eyes like me."
She spun to his side, draping an arm across Hazama's shoulders.
"That said, your manners are a bit off, aren't they? Why, you haven't even introduced yourself, and you're already asking that I help you? What are you, a virgin?"
She brushed his cheek with her free hand, and spoke a little quieter.
"After all, girls don't like boys who take it too fast~."

Massive Multiversal Crossover

It was an abandoned basement on the far side of town yes.

Massive Multiversal Crossover

Ayo so what's Hazama doing in an abandoned basement halfway across town anyway?

Massive Multiversal Crossover

Seiga - Imperial Treasury, Capital City, AgK

Seiga slithered into a vault, a quadruple-locked solid steel construction deep within the heavily-guarded imperial treasury. Apparently, there was some sort of mystic weapon of incredible power hidden here, but from where she was standing it didn't look too impressive. Within lay naught but a small scroll and a locked chest. She took a look at the scroll.

"Garuda-", she mumbled aloud, "Living-type Teigu. Eats any organic matter, becomes larger as it eats. Instinctively seeks to destroy any and all manmade structures. V. high regeneration potential. Extremely dangerous. Do not use under any circumstances."

She cut a small hole and reached inside the box, withdrawing from it what appeared to be a small, one-eyed, half-developed bird foetus, a red gem faintly visible at the back of its mouth. It shrieked with unfathomable hunger and rage against the world that had locked it up. Seiga was unimpressed.

Holding the Teigu by its torso, she exited the vault, tunneling through the foundations of the city and into an abandoned basement on the far side of town, appearing from the wall.

"Nyan Nyan!", Yoshika called, "You're back, Nyan Nyan! Back from, uh..."
"The vault, dear.", Seiga said, petting her jiangshi.
"The vault!"
There was a pause.
"Nyan Nyan, what's a vault?"
"It's nothing you have to worry about, my darling subordinate.", she held out the Teigu, "Here, Niang Niang has brought you a snack."
"Oh boy!", Yoshika said as Seiga shoved the creature into the zombie's mouth, "Ank fo a foo!"
"You shouldn't speak with your mouth full, dear.", Seiga said as she dabbed at Yoshika's mouth with a napkin, "It's poor manners."
Yoshika swallowed the Teigu, "Roger!"
"You're such a good girl, Yoshika."