Ushas
I hope you know someone you trust to read this to you. I hope you know someone you trust. I hope you know that there's no other way for me and that they're not giving me much time.
You know that I'm not a hopeful thing, but, right now, I'm hoping. I'm hoping as hard as my heart can bear because I don't have anything else to fill the gap any more. I hope for you. I hope you're happy. And I hope you don't feel like you have to miss me, or that I want you to. (That's a lie, because I do want you to miss me like I miss you, even though I don't deserve it. I just don't want you to hang on to someone who'll drag you down.)
It's not your fault, never was. Not really. It was ours. We did it together, you and I, and we enjoyed it. I hope you don't forget what we felt for those few moments of time when the bullets flew and you held my back and I laughed, I laughed because we were righting a wrong, we were rising up higher than we had ever deserved to be, and when it was all over and you held the kids in your arms I cried, because you were happy, and because I didn't know what else to do. We knew we were doing the wrong thing, but that never mattered because we did it for the right reasons and we were doing it as a team. As lovers.
I loved you then, Ushas, and I still do. I think you loved me back. I think that's what went wrong. It was the wrong kind of love and we loved too much. I don't think we could have stopped ourselves if we tried. It's our fault, Ushas, not yours. We were too close, for too long, and neither of us could help it. We were an accident that you and I fell into.
Now I'm gone, and I'm happy for that, no matter how hard I fought to stay. It's better for me. It's better for you. You don't owe me anything, and the sooner you can learn to live without me the better. You'll be happy again, Ushas, I know it. I know it!
So please, for the sake of that happiness, forget about me. Believe that I'm happy and I will be. All I have is hope for you and all I want is the best for you. You're innocent, Ushas, no matter what we did when we were together, and now that we're apart you can be innocent again. That's all that matters. I was guilty long before we were a thing. I'm walking the path I deserve, and you'll walk yours. We might be over, but you still have worlds to live for and you'll find them because of that.
I have hope, Ushas, and it's all for you. Forever.
Goodbye.
Yvette
I hope you know someone you trust to read this to you. I hope you know someone you trust. I hope you know that there's no other way for me and that they're not giving me much time.
You know that I'm not a hopeful thing, but, right now, I'm hoping. I'm hoping as hard as my heart can bear because I don't have anything else to fill the gap any more. I hope for you. I hope you're happy. And I hope you don't feel like you have to miss me, or that I want you to. (That's a lie, because I do want you to miss me like I miss you, even though I don't deserve it. I just don't want you to hang on to someone who'll drag you down.)
It's not your fault, never was. Not really. It was ours. We did it together, you and I, and we enjoyed it. I hope you don't forget what we felt for those few moments of time when the bullets flew and you held my back and I laughed, I laughed because we were righting a wrong, we were rising up higher than we had ever deserved to be, and when it was all over and you held the kids in your arms I cried, because you were happy, and because I didn't know what else to do. We knew we were doing the wrong thing, but that never mattered because we did it for the right reasons and we were doing it as a team. As lovers.
I loved you then, Ushas, and I still do. I think you loved me back. I think that's what went wrong. It was the wrong kind of love and we loved too much. I don't think we could have stopped ourselves if we tried. It's our fault, Ushas, not yours. We were too close, for too long, and neither of us could help it. We were an accident that you and I fell into.
Now I'm gone, and I'm happy for that, no matter how hard I fought to stay. It's better for me. It's better for you. You don't owe me anything, and the sooner you can learn to live without me the better. You'll be happy again, Ushas, I know it. I know it!
So please, for the sake of that happiness, forget about me. Believe that I'm happy and I will be. All I have is hope for you and all I want is the best for you. You're innocent, Ushas, no matter what we did when we were together, and now that we're apart you can be innocent again. That's all that matters. I was guilty long before we were a thing. I'm walking the path I deserve, and you'll walk yours. We might be over, but you still have worlds to live for and you'll find them because of that.
I have hope, Ushas, and it's all for you. Forever.
Goodbye.
Yvette