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Opinionated nerd for hire.

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"Good afternoon, Mister Jefferson," I say at the doorstep, extending a rubber-gloved hand in greeting. "Rachel Roth, of Roth and Anders Paranormal Investigations, at your service. I understand you have a potentially dangerous situation involving your daughter?"

"Oh, thank goodness, yes!" he says, shaking my hand and practically yanking me inside. "I'm amazed you were able to come out here so quickly. But yes, it's Amanda. She's......she's not well. We moved in about a year ago and I think....I think there's something wrong with this place....."

Looking around the living room, I see little out of the ordinary. Ugly green sofa, coral blue carpet, white walls adorned with family photos, a bookcase filled half with 'inspirational' fluff and half with books about World War II. A coffee table covered in magazines. A television with too many remote controls.

Upstairs, I hear a loud thump and a pained howl.

"She keeps saying there's something inside of her, something that's....making her do things," Mister Jefferson says in a worried voice. "Ever since we've moved in, there have been weird sounds, things moving where they weren't before....and it's only gotten worse in the last few months. Melissa and I, we've always been skeptical about religion, but......I don't know.....I think there might be something here. My little girl.....I think she's....possessed....."

"Well, you called the right person for the job," I say, pulling my hair back into a tight ponytail in the back, and then reaching into the pockets of my thick denim coveralls for a pair of safety goggles and a hair net. "If there's any kind of malevolent entity in this house, I'll be able to find it, identify it, and get rid of it."

My heavy work boots make a loud clunking noise as I make my way up the stairs.

"I, er, I can't help but notice.....erm, your outfit...." Mister Jefferson stammers.

"Believe me, I've handled my fair share of demons," I assure him. "If this goes anything like my last job, you're going to wish you'd put on some gloves and some old clothes, too. Demons tend to be very....biological, when it comes to resisting exorcism."

"You don't say....."

We reach Amanda's room, and I open the door. Inside, a girl about the age of fourteen is writhing painfully on her bed. She's shouting and snarling, and screaming as her joints pop and her body contorts. It's all very hard to watch.

Still, I've got a job to do, and the first part of that job is finding out exactly what I'm dealing with.

I spend the next few minutes examining the supposed victim, monitoring her breathing, getting her heart rate, seeing how she reacts to various herbs and holy symbols (one of the reasons I'm wearing rubber gloves, in fact-- I can't touch the things myself), before looking her square in the eye and noticing the movement.

"She's an epileptic," I conclude. "She needs to be taken to the hospital and treated there. I'm sorry that you've wasted your time, but there doesn't seem to be any demon here, Mister Je--"

And then Mister Jefferson bursts into a swarm of spiders. Amanda screams as thousands of menacing little black-and-yellow arachnids scurry across the room. The door slams shut, and the room fills with a sickening stench as hot feces begins to splatter down from the ceiling.

THE CHILD IS OURRSSSSSSSSSSS...... the spiders hiss in unison.

I sigh with annoyance as it splats on my hairnet and stains the thick flannel shirt under my coveralls.

"Never an easy day on the job, is it?" I say, pulling out my cell phone and making the call. "I'm going to need an extraction on the Perez Street job. Little girl, having an epileptic seizure. Second floor, window on the right side."

"I hear and understand," she says on the other end of the line. "I will be there presently."

NO ONE CAN SSSSSSAVE YOU, EXORCIST........ the spiders taunt. WE SSSHHHHALL DEVOUR YOUR SSSSSSOUL.....

"Cute," I say with annoyance, searching through my case of herbs for the right combination of ingredients. "You'll forgive me if I don't start shaking and wetting my pants just yet-- you're hardly the first swarm from the Plateau of Leng that I've dealt with."

WE ARE LEGION, LITTLE GIRL..... They spout out, spraying the room with ropes of dripping, mucous-covered webbing from orifices that look nothing like spinnerets. WHAT CAN ONE LONE WITCH HOPE TO DO AGAINST USSSSS?

"First of all," I say, glancing to the window to see a glowing green light racing towards us, "I'm not alone."

The window crashes inward, and the spiders are sent flying by a spray of neon-green bolts of plasma. Starfire doesn't so much enter the room as she does flow through it, with a natural grace that would put lifelong ballerinas to shame. Every spin to avoid the demonic vermin, every retaliatory star-bolt splattering an attacking spider, every swoop and whirl to dodge falling splatters of fecal matter from the ceiling, is done with such ease and precision that you'd almost believe she was from the other side of the supernatural spectrum. You'd be wrong, though-- Kory's much less annoying than an actual angel.

"I apologize for my lateness, friend Raven," she says, casually blasting another clutch of spiders. "However, it appears together, we may have this battle won!"

"Not quite," I say, looking at the piles of half-charred gore strewn across the room as they begin to quiver and move. "These are Leng spiders, and can't be completely destroyed by normal means. Blowing them up is just going to make them angrier."

Indeed, the bits and chunks of spiders begin to knit themselves back together, even worse than they were before. Some of them are nearly the size of a small dog now. Some have eyes on stalks, or pincers and scorpion-like stingers, some have over a dozen legs. The more they stay out in the open, the more wrong they get.

"Get the girl to safety," I tell my partner. "I've got the swarm."

"I hear and understand," Starfire says, scooping the suffering girl into her arms. "I shall take her to the nearest emergency ward. And then I shall return to the office and await news of your glorious triumph!"

As Star leaves with the girl, several of the spiders try to leap up after her through the window. They slam into an invisible wall in the air, then fall twitching to the floor.

"I made sure to surround the house in a circle of salt before coming in," I explain, taking from my case a pinch of mugwort, mixing it with some vetivert and a healthy amount of agrimony. "Nothing from the other side gets in or out of the house unless I say so. It's just you and me now."

YOU HAVE LOSSST YOUR ADVANTAGE..... the spiders hiss, leaping and clawing at me as I duck and dodge them. From my knapsack I pull a small egg-shaped plastic appliance and put the various herbs in it-- normally I'd use a proper mortar and pestle, but in a pinch, one of these compact food-processors will do. YOUR ALLY IS GONE, AND YOU ARE BUT A LOWLY WITCH AGAINSSST A HORDE OF LENG.....

"About that," I say, pressing down on the egg-shaped blender to start the motor. It whirs and shakes in my hands as I mix the potion together. "When Trigon sent you into the mortal plane to spring this trap....he didn't tell you who you were trapping, did he?"

IT MATTERSSSS NOT, FOR WE--

"Look in my eyes."

The spiders stop their assault, and a single, basketball-sized spider with half of its legs transformed into a vague approximation of a human hand and a single compound eye lowers down from the dung-dripping ceiling. It looks me in the eye for a moment, and at once the spiders speak in unison.

.....OH SSSHHHHHI--

"Tell Dad I said hi," I say, throwing the blender full of potion into the heart of the swarm. The concoction explodes, filling the room with noxious green smoke and the ear-piercing screams of thousands of hell-spawn arachnids.

I quickly tuck my face down and cover my nose and mouth with my flannel shirt as the oily smoke rolls over me. The potion won't banish me like it does to the spiders, but it's still incredibly unpleasant-- like cutting onions that are filled with tear gas.

After a minute or so, the smoke clears, and the Leng spiders are gone. I reach into my case for a piece of chalk, a candle, and a quartz crystal, and I draw a pentagram seal in the center of the room, carrying out a short ritual to close off the portal between this world and my father's infernal realm.

I inspect the rest of the house to be sure that it's completely clear, and I eventually find the girl's parents, hung upside down by spider-webs in the basement. I pull them down, explain that their daughter is in good hands, and then go over Roth and Anders' very reasonable payment plans for the job.

I don't know why Trigon is sending minor peons like Leng spiders into my city, without even telling them they're going up against me. Maybe he's probing my defenses for some avenue of attack. Maybe he's trying to keep me distracted while he carries out something worse. Or maybe he's just taking pot-shots at me to keep from getting bored.

As I step out into the fresh air of Jump City, half-covered in demonic spider-webs and splatters of sewage, there's one thing I know for certain.

"I could really use a shower."


The alarm clock is set for 6am, but it's not for me. Like most mornings, I'm up well before dawn.

Three eggs, in warm water for five minutes before cracking.

In the meantime, the roof of a low-rent tenament building in Buenos Aires is about to collapse. I suit up and make my way down south, holding up the support beams with plenty of time before they buckle and make sure everyone is out safely.

A tense showdown between police officers and a depressed file clerk with a rifle is about to turn tragic in Charleroi, Belgium. It's a practice called 'blue suicide,' where a person deliberately forces police to kill them. As the man lifts the rifle to open fire, I touch down in between him and the officers, blocking both parties' line of fire, and I introduce the man to a local psychologist who's agreed to work with him.

I spend the next three minutes or so high above the equatorial Atlantic, carefully adjusting temperatures with sweeping rays of Heat Vision and correcting with gusts of chilled Arctic breath, to prevent the current weather patterns from forming into what would have otherwise become a hurricane over the next week or so. As it is, there will still be scattered thunderstorms throughout the Gulf region, but it's certainly a better outcome than the catastrophic damage that would have resulted instead.

The eggs have warmed enough. I head back to the apartment, crack the eggs into a bowl, add a pinch of salt, and stir, before applying a teaspoon of butter to the skillet and setting to medium-high heat.

While the skillet warms up, I fly up north to the Fortress for a bit of work in the lab. Kelex assists me in reading through the human genome and unlocking a potential 'super-charge' for the immune system that would render homo sapiens impervious to bacterial or viral infections. I write up a quick thesis on the subject, and anonymously send my research off to Reed Richards, STAR Labs, and a few other trustworthy institutions for review.

I notice Krypto is getting restless cooped up inside, so I take him for a quick stroll to Venus and back, to let him stretch his legs and do his business so I don't have to clean up a mess in the Fortress itself. Re-entering the Earth's atmosphere, Krypto and I spent the next minute or so digging out some irrigation trenches for a land-locked village in Mauritania to make sure the people there have access to clean running water, before he returns to the Fortress for a nap, and I get back to the kitchen and put the eggs on the skillet before the butter boils away.

This is where the risk is at its greatest: for the next fifteen seconds, I need to carefully tilt and move the pan to make sure the stirred eggs don't stick, which means any crises requiring my attention will ruin the meal. Obviously, helping people in danger comes first, but I won't lie and say I don't look forward to a job well done.

The eggs begin to turn into a solid mass, as the liquid yolk cooks in the pan. Things are starting to come together.....

"Superman, help!"

"On my way," I sigh.

....and it's back to work. I flick the skillet, flipping the mass of eggs into the air before heading back out the window.

There's a man in a powered suit in Glenmorgan Square, his armor glistening with heavy weapons. It looks like something from one of Tony Stark's competitors, probably traded through a labyrinth of dummy companies and criminal fronts before winding up in the hands of this lunatic, calling himself 'Firepower.' This has all the markings of a 'call-out,' which is annoyingly common among career criminals who've recently acquired metahuman abilities or high-tech weaponry: as soon as they get something that they think makes them more powerful than they were before, the first thing they want to do is pick a fight to show that there's a new 'big dog' in town.

I analyze Firepower's suit, looking into its interior to understand its weapon systems and structural weaknesses, before speeding in faster than the on-board targeting system can track and disabling the suit's power source, leaving the would-be troublemaker a sitting duck for Metropolis Special Crimes Unit to arrest at their leisure....

....then I get back to the kitchen just in time to catch the omelette as it lands on the skillet.

"Gotcha!" I say out loud with a bit of a laugh. Most mornings, that interruption means I have to settle for scrambled eggs instead.

After that, it's five more seconds to cook on the other side (during which I do some preventative work on the East Anatolian Fault in Turkey), then I sprinkle in a quarter cup of grated sharp cheddar cheese, fold the omelette over and slide onto a plate, garnish with some finely chopped chives, and breakfast is served as she steps out of the bedroom in one of my oversized T-shirts.

"Morning, Smallville," Lois says as she rubs the sleep out of her eyes, picking up her tablet off of the kitchen counter to check the morning news. "I see you kept the world from exploding while I was asleep."

"Thankfully, nothing Earth-threatening so far today," I say, only half joking-- things have an unfortunate habit of going from calm to apocalyptic unreasonably quickly in this day and age. "Thankfully it's been a pretty easy morning."

Lois rolls her eyes as she scrolls through the various Superman-related headlines on her tablet in between bites of her omelette.

"'Easy' for you is still 'impossible' for everyone else," she says. "And you wonder why all your enemies think you're being smug."

"I tried snarling at them like Bruce once or twice back in the early days, to show them how seriously I was taking things," I shrug. "All I got out of it was a sore throat."

Lois laughs, and finishes her breakfast.

"Well, at any rate, it's nice that the world was quiet enough that we got to actually have breakfast together for once," she says. "I'm gonna jump in the shower, and then I'm going to get started on following leads on who sold that Firepower loser his battle-suit. Are you thinking it's Lexcorp again?"

"Not this time," I shake my head. "Luthor's not above selling weapons and tech to goons, but it's usually to keep me distracted from something bigger. This one didn't seem to have much of a point in it. Although off the top of my head, I wouldn't be able to tell you exactly where that one came from."

"Well, good thing you're dating a Pulitzer-winning investigative journalist, then," she says with a grin. "I'll see what I can dig up; after all, someone's got to be doing some work around here."

I return her grin, and get up from the table.

"I'm going to swing back up to the Fortress for a little bit, finish up some lab work," I say, clearing my throat. "I'll see you at the office, okay?"

"Just don't accidentally create a black hole or let out some horror from a parallel universe until I've had my coffee," she says as she gives me a quick kiss. "Love you, Smallville."

"Love you too," I say, leaving her to get dressed for the day as I head out the window and back up into the sky.

After a short flight to the North Pole, I enter the glittering sunstone main hall of the Fortress, the carved statues of my biological mother and father holding up a holographic image of Krypton between them in a towering arch over the primary AI console.

"Welcome back, Kal-El," Kelex greets me, its digitized voice resounding through every part of the hall. "I am currently not reading any events on the planet requiring your specific attention. The current global situation is relatively calm."

"Good to hear," I say. "Have there been any responses from the scientific community regarding this morning's research on human immunity acceleration?"

"Full reviews and replications of the experiment are forthcoming, but the general consensus thus far is positive," the AI answers. "There may be political controversy involving the implementation of it, due to its reliance on synthesizing a mutant X-gene in baseline humans, but given my projections, we can expect most countries to adopt it within five years."

"Excellent," I say, pleased with what we've accomplished so far. "What about the experiments involving the Interstellar Refuge? Have you made any progress in freeing Kandor or the rest of Brainiac's Bottle Cities?"

"Not yet-- I must confess the Coluan miniaturization technology is still far superior to any countermeasure I have been able to devise. However, initial models involving a dimensional auger similar to your father's Phantom Zone Projector seem promising. I will begin virtual trial runs within the week."

"That's...disappointing, but at least we may be headed in the right direction with that. Any luck in finding a reversal for the Bizarro Plague?"

"Currently, evidence suggests that the Bizarro Plague is irreversible. However, I am in the process of developing a way to inoculate humans to prevent future infection, in the event that the Bizarro World creature emerges from the Underverse again."

"And my Bizarro duplicate?"

"Still conscious, but inactive. He has been standing motionless at the South Pole for one year, nine months, twenty-two days, six hours, and eighteen minutes. There is currently no reason to assume any change in his condition."

"It all sounds promising," I say, though a touch of skepticism creeps into my words. "We're coming close to making some real lasting change in the world, being able to say that we left Earth and its people far better than we found it. Even Luthor and his cronies have been on the quiet side lately......"

There's a pause in the air that hangs for just a while too long. There's a cold, tightness in my chest as I try to work up the next words, a feeling I almost never experience, so rare that it takes me a moment to even register what it is.....

....I'm afraid to ask the next sentence.

"Kelex.........what's the countdown?"

"Eight months. Sixteen days. Thirteen hours. Forty-five minutes. And counting...."

It's a bitter pill to swallow. Not long ago, the Fifth Dimensional imp Mxyzptlk transported me into the future, where I re-connected with my old friends in the Legion. I started searching through Brainiac-5's temporal archives, trying to find a way back to my time, and through the numberless threads of potential timelines converging and branching and twisting and contradicting each other between the present and the far-future, I accidentally saw something I shouldn't have.

A fixed point in every potential timeline, one that shapes every possible future. One that's far too close for me to truly grasp, but one that I don't think I can avoid.

I haven't told Lois yet. I don't know how to break it to Ma, or Lana and Kara. I haven't told Bruce or Diana or anyone else in the League. But I can't put it off for much longer-- sooner or later, we're going to need to have plans in place for what happens when time runs out.

Eight months. Sixteen days. Thirteen hours. Forty-five minutes and counting.

Counting down until Doomsday.

Counting down until the moment that I die.
Posts are coming, but I sadly don't have an ETA-- this was literally the worst possible time for the game to go live for me, since I'm currently working 60+ hour weeks. Superman and Raven will be up when I can make 'em happen, as well as my third CS.
Holy frak, Byrd's actually back in it!
All right, thumbs up, let's do this.



| Identity |
Clark Kent/Kal-El of Krypton/Superman

| Origin & Backstory |

Strange Visitor (1978-1987)



Powers and Abilities (1987-1993)



Valiant and Courageous (1993-2001)



Up in the Sky! (2001-2002)



Speeding Bullets (2002-2004)



The World's Finest (2004-2005)



Truth and Justice (2006-2008)



Never-Ending Battle (2008-Present)



| Attributes |





| Character Notes |

Setting and Locations:







Supporting Cast:



| Character Goals |
I plan on bringing Superman to a higher standard of storytelling, telling unique and interesting stories that could only be done with a character as wonderfully insane as Superman. That said, I don't plan on making fluffy 'love-letter' pieces that go on and on about how great and important the character is because, to be honest, those get boring very quickly. I want Superman's world to be dangerous, action-packed, energetic, and fun.

I have a few ideas that I've been dying to try with an older, more experienced Superman, that we rarely ever get to see considering how many Year One/early days interpretations we usually get in this kind of game. So the opportunity to play a Superman that knows his way around things is the kind of thing that makes my mouth water, so to speak.

| Sample Post |

"Lois! Are you all right?"

The sky is on fire, and seven billion people are screaming.

Hours ago, a psychotic and tortured soul who went by the name 'Ruin' enacted a suicidal plan to bring about the apocalypse. Creating a massive gravitational tether, Ruin used it to grab hold of Earth's moon and set it on a collision course with the planet.

"I'm fine, what the hell is going on out there?" Lois says, standing up from her desk.

"The moon is about to crash into the Earth," I let her know. "I stopped the machine that was generating the gravity well, but the damage has been done."

"But, I mean.....you've got this, right?" she asks, with a hopeful nod.

"I think so," I say, looking up at the blackened scorched sky as the continent-sized satellite bears down on us. "Firestorm and Red Tornado are doing everything in their power to mitigate the damage to the planet's atmosphere. Aquaman is working with Captain Atom to keep the tidal forces from drowning everyone, and a few of the Green Lanterns are constructing braces to keep the tectonic plates from shaking apart. Meanwhile, Reed Richards has gotten a Mother Box operational and is ready to open a Boom Tube if things go south, and Flash will evacuate everyone through the Tube to safety."

"Everyone in Metropolis?"

"Everyone on Earth."

Lois seems sufficiently impressed.

"That seems to cover the collateral damage," she says. "But what about, you know, the moon about to slam into the Earth and destroy the world?!"

"That's my job."

"What exactly are you going to do, Smallville?"

I look up at the crashing moon, and I crack my knuckles.

"The moon is falling, and I'm Superman." I say, turning back to her with a smile. "What do you think I'm going to do?"

"....you're seriously going to try and--"

"All in a day's work," I say with a wink, and take to the skies, to take the cataclysm head-on.....


| Identity |
Clark Kent/Kal-El of Krypton/Superman

| Origin & Backstory |

Strange Visitor (1978-1987)



Powers and Abilities (1987-1993)



Valiant and Courageous (1993-2001)



Up in the Sky! (2001-2002)



Speeding Bullets (2002-2004)



The World's Finest (2004-2005)



Truth and Justice (2006-2008)



Never-Ending Battle (2008-Present)



| Attributes |





| Character Notes |

Setting and Locations:







Supporting Cast:



| Character Goals |
I plan on bringing Superman to a higher standard of storytelling, telling unique and interesting stories that could only be done with a character as wonderfully insane as Superman. That said, I don't plan on making fluffy 'love-letter' pieces that go on and on about how great and important the character is because, to be honest, those get boring very quickly. I want Superman's world to be dangerous, action-packed, energetic, and fun.

I have a few ideas that I've been dying to try with an older, more experienced Superman, that we rarely ever get to see considering how many Year One/early days interpretations we usually get in this kind of game. So the opportunity to play a Superman that knows his way around things is the kind of thing that makes my mouth water, so to speak.

| Sample Post |

"Lois! Are you all right?"

The sky is on fire, and seven billion people are screaming.

Hours ago, a psychotic and tortured soul who went by the name 'Ruin' enacted a suicidal plan to bring about the apocalypse. Creating a massive gravitational tether, Ruin used it to grab hold of Earth's moon and set it on a collision course with the planet.

"I'm fine, what the hell is going on out there?" Lois says, standing up from her desk.

"The moon is about to crash into the Earth," I let her know. "I stopped the machine that was generating the gravity well, but the damage has been done."

"But, I mean.....you've got this, right?" she asks, with a hopeful nod.

"I think so," I say, looking up at the blackened scorched sky as the continent-sized satellite bears down on us. "Firestorm and Red Tornado are doing everything in their power to mitigate the damage to the planet's atmosphere. Aquaman is working with Captain Atom to keep the tidal forces from drowning everyone, and a few of the Green Lanterns are constructing braces to keep the tectonic plates from shaking apart. Meanwhile, Reed Richards has gotten a Mother Box operational and is ready to open a Boom Tube if things go south, and Flash will evacuate everyone through the Tube to safety."

"Everyone in Metropolis?"

"Everyone on Earth."

Lois seems sufficiently impressed.

"That seems to cover the collateral damage," she says. "But what about, you know, the moon about to slam into the Earth and destroy the world?!"

"That's my job."

"What exactly are you going to do, Smallville?"

I look up at the crashing moon, and I crack my knuckles.

"The moon is falling, and I'm Superman." I say, turning back to her with a smile. "What do you think I'm going to do?"

"....you're seriously going to try and--"

"All in a day's work," I say with a wink, and take to the skies, to take the cataclysm head-on.....
<Snipped quote by Gowi>

There's a lot rattling around in my head. Hellboy crossed my mind, and a few Marvel characters. We'll see what I decide on.


Hellboy and Raven would probably get along swimmingly-- two competing Beasts of the Apocalypse popping up at once and all.
Also, is the IC set in 2010?


From what Gowi's told me, it is, which would make my Raven about 20 since she was born in 1990. I assume this is so there's room to do potential time-jumps in between 'seasons' to catch us up to present day, but I could be wrong.

Also, I'm just gonna say 'to hell with it' and start work on my second app. And anyone who knows me and my character preferences should have a pretty good idea of who I'm going to be applying for....


| Identity |
Rachel Roth/Raven

| Origin & Backstory |



| Attributes |

Rachel Roth is the direct bloodline descendant of Trigon, one of the most powerful demons in existence. As such, she can project her influence over the world, grant favors to those who benefit her or cause catastrophe to her enemies. Her half-demon soul can reach into the material world and constrict or wound people, intrude on the minds of others and even temporarily possess their souls themselves. If she ever succumbs fully do the demonic side of her, Raven will bridge this world with Trigon's and bring about the apocalypse.

However, Raven has blocked off the vast extent of her true power, and instead focuses more on human magic to manipulate the world around her. She is exceptionally good at picking up on incantations and magical systems, and has thus far mastered Hermeticism, tarot, African Vodun and New Orleans Voodoo, Senshism, Qabballa, Appalachian folk magic, Santeria, and the Greek, Indian, and Chinese forms of Alchemy. This gives her knowledge of a wide array of spells and rituals, many of which require a large amount of time and preparation to carry out.

In combat, Raven has a set of practical spells she has learned to cast quickly and without material components. These include levitation, telekinesis, teleportation, and protective shields. Through meditation, she can also attune to the thoughts of others, and project her astral form outside of her physical body, though doing so leaves her body vulnerable.

| Character Notes |







| Character Goals |

I plan on telling interesting and compelling character-driven stories with Raven and Star, two characters that haven't had a fair shake in DC in ages. The two of them have the potential for a 'buddy cop' dynamic that never really gets explored, and that's what I'm aiming to go for here. I want to create versions of these two that have grown and developed just like Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon have, rather than just retelling the same story with Raven over and over or courting controversy with Star. Mostly, though, I plan on having fun with my two favorite characters from the Titans show, remade to fit into this version of the DCU.

| Sample Post |

"Good afternoon, Mister Jefferson," I say at the doorstep, extending a rubber-gloved hand in greeting. "Rachel Roth, of Roth and Anders Paranormal Investigations, at your service. I understand you have a potentially dangerous situation involving your daughter?"

"Oh, thank goodness, yes!" he says, shaking my hand and practically yanking me inside. "I'm amazed you were able to come out here so quickly. But yes, it's Amanda. She's......she's not well. We moved in about a year ago and I think....I think there's something wrong with this place....."

Looking around the living room, I see little out of the ordinary. Ugly green sofa, coral blue carpet, white walls adorned with family photos, a bookcase filled half with 'inspirational' fluff and half with books about World War II. A coffee table covered in magazines. A television with too many remote controls.

Upstairs, I hear a loud thump and a pained howl.

"She keeps saying there's something inside of her, something that's....making her do things," Mister Jefferson says in a worried voice. "Ever since we've moved in, there have been weird sounds, things moving where they weren't before....and it's only gotten worse in the last few months. Melissa and I, we've always been skeptical about religion, but......I don't know.....I think there might be something here. My little girl.....I think she's....possessed....."

"Well, you called the right person for the job," I say, pulling my hair back into a tight ponytail in the back, and then reaching into the pockets of my thick denim coveralls for a pair of safety goggles and a hair net. "If there's any kind of malevolent entity in this house, I'll be able to find it, identify it, and get rid of it."

My heavy work boots make a loud clunking noise as I make my way up the stairs.

"I, er, I can't help but notice.....erm, your outfit...." Mister Jefferson stammers.

"You were expecting the cloak and the skin-tight leotard and all that, right?" I say, not looking back as I roll my eyes. "I wear that when I go out to be a superhero. But you didn't hire me to be a superhero today. You called in about a demon....which means you hired me to be an exterminator."

"So you need to dress up like you're about to go swamp fishing?"

I stop and turn to him.

"Believe me, I've handled my fair share of demons," I assure him. "If this goes anything like my last job, you're going to wish you'd put on some gloves and some old clothes, too. Demons tend to be very....biological, when it comes to resisting exorcism."

"You don't say....."

We reach Amanda's room, and I open the door. Inside, a girl about the age of fourteen is writhing painfully on her bed. She's shouting and snarling, and screaming as her joints pop and her body contorts. It's all very hard to watch.

Still, I've got a job to do, and the first part of that job is finding out exactly what I'm dealing with.

I spend the next few minutes examining the supposed victim, monitoring her breathing, getting her heart rate, seeing how she reacts to various herbs and holy symbols (one of the reasons I'm wearing rubber gloves, in fact-- I can't touch the things myself), before looking her square in the eye and noticing the movement.

"She's an epileptic," I conclude. "She needs to be taken to the hospital and treated there. I'm sorry that you've wasted your time, but there doesn't seem to be any demon here, Mister Je--"

And then Mister Jefferson bursts into a swarm of spiders. Amanda screams as thousands of menacing little black-and-yellow arachnids scurry across the room. The door slams shut, and the room fills with a sickening stench as hot feces begins to splatter down from the ceiling.

THE CHILD IS OURRSSSSSSSSSSS...... the spiders hiss in unison.

I sigh with annoyance as it splats on my hairnet and stains the thick flannel shirt under my coveralls.

"It's never an easy day on the job, is it?"
CS has been sent to Gowi, and I believe is approved. Considering potential for a second CS as well, but let's not get ahead of ourselves just yet.
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