Avatar of Antarctic Termite

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6 yrs ago
Current ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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6 yrs ago
If you're not trying to romance the Pokemon, what's the fucking point?
7 likes
6 yrs ago
Can't help but read 'woah' as a regular 'wuh', but 'whoa' as a deep, masculine 'HOO-AH!'
1 like
6 yrs ago
That's patently untrue. I planted some potassium the other day, and no matter how much I watered it, all I got was explosions.
2 likes
6 yrs ago
on holiday for five days. if you need me, toss a rock into the fuckin' desert and I'll whisper in your dreams
3 likes

Bio

According to the IRC, I'm a low-grade troll. They're probably not wrong.

Most Recent Posts

The Helping Spirits


When Witale's pregnancy became known, the ensuing quarrel spread from the woman-tribe of the River Bivyech to their brother-band in the woods, and nearly tore apart both. The correct rites of gift-giving had gone ignored, and so the old mothers of the tribe had been given no opportunity to approve or condemn the union. Those old mothers had been alive since the days of Lansa, and their words were old and sacred: Learn honour, know honour, strive ever for honour; This is the highest tenet, the greatest knowledge, the way of living. Do not tread the path of despair. Do not go the way of greed.

Anger had flared among the Childan youths, who had already partnered in their hearts, the men according to the secret rules of the forest, the girls whispering and giggling around the fire as they accepted the gifts that came every season. Hasty Witale, unruly Witale, who did not listen to her mother! How could she cheat her sisters so? How much hotter would the char of longing burn in her nieces and cousins, knowing that they must wait when she had already taken? Who else would be inspired to steal?

Such distrust and hurt was death to the Childan women. On the morning after the weeping, when the girls had slept in separate corners of the huts and sobbed and seethed on the knife-point insults that had been thrown that night, the Spirit Father's curse was awakened and felt for the first time. No logs were hauled that morning, no stones knapped, no roots dug out. They had abandoned each other in spirit, and their strength had been taken from them, as surely as by plague.

Worse still were the sounds from the forest. Strength and leadership had been vested in the women of that race, and their grief-hatred was great. But violence was the domain of men.

The old mothers had met that day with the new leader of the brother-band, Dosho, who was now Dosho the Punisher, and the old, Lawivawan Copper-Bearer, his powerful body beaten and swollen, his hand broken by the force of his own blows.

Witale could not stay. She had been whipped with the birch, as was proper, yet still her presence divided the giantesses and made them weak. She could not be cast out, for then their abandonment would only seal the curse upon them further. Nor could she go among the men. To have a single woman among a band of men spells ruin. So Lawivawan Copper-Bearer and his ill-gotten bride were to be sent out together.

Several of the brothers went with them. Some went at once, for the same reason that they had followed him their whole lives, that the Flamekeepers had gifted him the spear of copper that Dosho the Punisher now held, the same reason that Witale had gone with him and started this sorry business. There was something strong in Lawivawan, chief among hunters, something wild and sacred in his smile.

Others broke away and followed later. Shason was among them.




The autumn berries had already been taken by the time Shason made it to the river, and he had no more food, nor a spear. He was too far now to go back to Dosho and beg for either. He had no axe to cut down staves and whittle new spears from the staves. He was too hungry to knap an axe.

The scent of the meat lured him down to the river. He could taste it on the air: fresh blood, rich and salty, and fat, prime flesh. His heart roared and warmed with the taste of distant butchery. It was not the smell of death, to Shason. To him it was life.

He seized the thickest muscle from the stone where it lay and ate it raw and cold. His teeth ripped at it, little Homuran fangs, but fangs nonetheless. He lit a fire with the flint and tinder in his pouch, still chewing. Only when he began to be sated did he notice the blood, bone, and feathers marking the trees, and the man now watching him.

"Lawivawan!"

Laviwavan laughed, spread his arms, and embraced his young cousin, slapping his back, kissing his forehead. His bruises were still visible, his fingers still bent in an awkward clutch, but he bore a new spear, smooth and tall with a fine bone point, and his smile was hot and wide. "My boy! I can't stand to look at you like this! Eat up, Shason. Eat everything. You need your strength."

"I was so hungry! I didn't notice the shrine-"

"Take it. The beavers left it here as an offering to the Masked Spirit. Their shamans hunt, even though they cannot eat! They risk their lives just for horn and fur... Take it, they abhor waste. When I travelled among them, they offered me their meat. Some of the older ones were sorry to see the tradition of flesh-offering overturned for my sake, so I always left the entrails at the shrine, for the Spirit."

Shason swallowed meat from the skewer and looked at him wide-eyed. "You've travelled with the shamans?" He was answered with a wild laugh.

"Yes! I've travelled with the shamans. The old ones, the Bijjiork-shamans, not our shamans. I've been with the dam-dwellers too, many times! They call this place the River Bivyech- that's as close as I can speak to their language, anyway. There's a wide dam not far downstream from here, where there are dozens of them, tucked under a big, fine wooden house in the water. Truly, Shason, you've never seen anything like it. If you were to follow the river all the way up to the mountains, you would meet hundreds." Lawivawan laughed and chattered on like a cockerel, then deflated.

"Listen, Shason, if ever you leave us and are hungry again, you must go to the river. Sometimes they will feed you, if they are at peace with their neighbour clans, and trusting. If not, offer to stand watch over them while they work, or at night. Many beasts prey on them that would never harm a Childan man- eagles and bobcats and wolverines, and even a wolf will take more pause for you than a beaver. They will feed you then. It's all leaves, of course, mustard and chicory and sorrel, and that's if they even know how to feed a Childa stomach. Else you get ferns and reeds and expected to thank them for it. Still, they'll feed you. They keep the berries for themselves. Wait until late, then ask for a cup of the drink they make from it. It has some beaverish name. Mighty good stuff."

Shason looked up. "Do they not hunt, Lawivawan?"

The hunter cackled, stamping the dirt with the butt of his spear. "The dam-dwellers? They don't even fish! They only use their spears for fighting. Sometimes wolverines, sometimes each other. Besides-" he rested the spear in his elbow and held his hands out a little distance apart. "Their arms are only this long! You should have seen them gawking the first time I showed one how we Childa men throw a javelin, really swing it, with the whole body..." He stretched out his arms and made the familiar motion, long arm spinning all the way over his torso, then burst once more into laughter. "The old shamans have bloody good aim, but I could see her big flat bottom teeth shining in the sun, so wide was her mouth! Their legs are short too, so they can't chase what they hunt and stick it, not like we can. Not that they really need to. They've the appetite of a goat and the gut to match. Oh, and they swim, I give 'em that. They can swim like a damn fish."

At this point, Shason was gulping down the last of the rare, glistening meat. It was hard to tell if he was listening. Lawivawan hooted a laugh, pinched his ear, and tousled his hair. "Oh, whatever, little man. Come on. The other boys have a hut between the trees round the next bend, there's more food there. Come on- we're trying to decide if we should be shamans next year."




Autumn quickly became winter, and soon there was no promise that any of Lawivawan's little band would survive that long.

Grey earth turned white. The green world disappeared. The Shepherd called his flocks to sleep, and only cold, thin, hungry animals remained to keep watch in the long night. The fox and hare and ermine shed their summer colours and disappeared into the blinding blankness of snow, leaving only their little black eyes and noses. The great aviary of the Giantland trees disappeared for warmer and wetter countries beyond the horizon. Even the seabirds departed their cliffs.

It was time for the North to slumber.

The Childan women huddled in their simple cabins under furs their men had brought them and prayed to the fire, to Lansa, to the Spirit of Heat, and to the Spirit Father, that he might not test them more harshly than they could withstand. Earnest and urgent was their prayer, which they sang in unison every dawn, waiting away the meagre hours before the winter night returned. The winds were harsh this year.

It wasn't the cold they were afraid of. It wasn't the snow that kept them inside.

The roots and greens were gone. There were no more truffles to dig up. The deer and muskox were growing leaner and leaner, and jealously guarded by wolves. The Dwami had sealed their caves with stone, and would not be seen until spring. The Bijjiork had no more leaves to offer.

In the women's camp, there were still acorns, and grains, buried in stores, dug up in small rations. Lawivawan's boys could do nothing but fish through a hole in the ice. It was good eating, but most of it went to feed Witale's growing belly, and the long hours in between soon taught them that grass and bark were meagre fare.

One day Lawivawan vanished. By the time he returned, the clouded night was black as pitch.

"Here."

The smell was unmistakeable. His meat was under a small fur in a grass basket. It was still warm. The Childans tore into it with no less savagery than the beasts howling outside their shelter. He disappeared to his hidden fire without a sound, without a word. There was more meat when he returned, heavy and dripping with fat. The boys scratched marrow out of bone with stone knives. They said nothing, even when Witale slept, better-fed than she had been for months, even when the last bones were brought in and the source of the meat became clear.

No laughter was heard in that camp.

"I met Onki out tracking today while we were looking for you," said Shason. "He says Dosho is dead. His wound festered after the bison hunt. The copper spear has no master." Lawivawan stared into their little fire, his face stone, eyes reflecting the flame like glass.

"There are pregnant women in the camp," said another boy. "They needed that bison. They can't just live on nuts and grass."

Silence.

"Do not dwell in starvation," intoned Lawivawan, quoting the ancient rhyme they had heard from their grandmothers. "Feed yourselves and all who hunger. Do not fall into the ways of sameness, uniformity breeds stagnation. The tools are given to you by the Spirits. Your hands alone can move them."

Dozens. If you were to follow the river- hundreds.

"Be thankful," said Lawivawan Copper-Bearer. "Our Father brought them to us in the shape of an eagle. They are our helpers."

Shason shuffled closer to their little fire. The smooth staff of his new spear stood out in the light. He was already thinking of the girl he would hold in his arms when the season of rites came to pass. The smiles he would see. The feasts they would have.

As always, the Bijjiork were a gift from the Great Spirits.



The First Trial


The vale was long and deep, a concavity that could have been carved into the side of the mountain by a drifting glacier, or perhaps by a judicious finger of divine magnitude. And, as something etched by such an even sweep ought to have been, it was perfectly smooth, a flawless inverted arch plunged into the live rock. Not a single stray boulder nor patch of snow marred its floor, not a stalk of grass or mountain-blossom grew from the dry stone, not even a small crack nor pebble ruined the harmony of its levigated surface.

Little of that could be seen for certain, however, because of a heavy black cloud that covered the sky directly above it. Though no larger than most of the ragged grey nimbi that drifted among the nearby peaks, this dark clot was much heavier, and it appeared to be brewing a small storm directly overhead, for something growled and grumbled ominously in its depths.

Then, before Ea Nebel had the time to step either further ahead or back over the ridge, it suddenly burst, and fell to the ground in uncountable fragments. It became visible then that it was no cloud at all, but a behemoth swarm of carrion-flies, larger than any the Galbar had seen since the pestiferous insects had first set out upon its surface. There were as many of them as drops of water in the ocean and grains of sand in the desert, and as they set down on the ground they carpeted the vale entirely, so that there was not enough soil left uncovered for the slightest of raindrops to have fallen. All as one, they faced the demigoddess, silently challenging her with a sea of rust-red eyes.

Iqelis' voice rang out from the now clear sky.

“All flies know you, all flies look to you. All but one of them, who turns the other way. Find it among the multitude, for until you do, you may not depart this vale. This is your first trial.”

A gust of chilly wind struck her in the back, flinging her hat out ahead, and the steep pass behind her was enveloped by a swirling tide of thick black fog. Another such smoky wall swallowed the opposite end of the ravine. The world beyond might as well have faded from existence; there was only her and the flies.

...Well.

Ea Nebel faced the grey sky and nodded to her unseen judges, then took a step. A few hundred flies scattered, reforming their ranks around her boots and clustering over her exposed footprints until they obscured. The insects between where she had been and where she stood now had dutifully turned their heads, and watched her still. She waved her hand loosely in front of her, rune-ring sparking with glyphs of Gnosis, throwing out a stiff gust. Thousands of flies flew up before her, tossed in a dense wave that became a zephyr, black like smoke as it spiralled away its momentum ahead of her. The flies swerved, circled, tumbled this way and that, crawled over each other in piles as they landed, arranged themselves once more in a thick blanket- and faced her.

Ea Nebel caught a straggler between thumb and forefinger. She lifted it to her face.

Many ways to solve this puzzle, if one were only a god.

Ea Nebel stared at the fly and contemplated, turning it around. She could force this fly to turn its back. Then she could incinerate the rest of the valley wholesale, and leave only this one remaining. A trite answer. She made a note of it.

Stepping out into the endless blanket of vermin, she recovered her hat.

Any mortal would spend lifetimes searching the flies without finding the One. She was not mortal, and could search these flies by hand- if she had to. Ea Nebel bent her knees lightly and leapt to the other side of the vale, coat flung open behind her like a cape, watching a subtle wave in the sheen of the flies below her as they turned in their millions, skidding down over the smooth stone in another great black cloud until the heel of her boot disappeared into the fog of the barrier. She stepped promptly out, glancing at the sky once more. A stupid approach. She might need that energy later.

What then?

Ea Nebel trailed two fingers idly down her neck, cleared her throat, and sang a slow, wordless, operatic note into the valley. From her half-open mouth emanated a light as harsh as death, whiter than the very Moon, blinding, obscuring the shape of the insects. It echoed far between the walls of the valley, a verse in no language, recorded in glyphs of no script. She let it trail off. A faint, foul smell of burnt chitin hung in the air, and she stepped through the usual whirring clouds into the path the beam had traced. There, the flies beneath her feet rolled, wriggled, and crunched. Her light had burned through their eyes into their brains.

She was impressed by her own work. With a single song, Ea Nebel could purge the whole vale in a matter of minutes. Only the turned fly would remain. She sighed. Another fine way to waste her precious strength.

Ea Nebel paced, watching insects scatter underfoot. Patience and power were good virtues. She had an opportunity to prove either. She wanted to. All of her little toy solutions seemed more pleasant than the true answer she already knew.

She doffed her hat and looked into it.

“All flies know you.”

Ea Nebel threw her hat far into the air, down the valley, and watched it dissolve into blowflies. She shed her coat and let it fall around her, letting it sag and melt into a seething mound of the insects, revealing her arms, her shoulders, the brilliant shawl of Heaven around her neck. She felt her hackles rise. The endless sea of eyes upon her was hungrier now.

“Well?” She whispered, loud as a thundercrack. “Don’t you know me?”

The flies rose, slowly at first, then all at once. Their wings were loud as stone and timber grinding in an earthquake. A storm of darkness fell upon her, a gale, a swirling, droning whirlwind of innumerable insects rising around her in a towering pillar. Fat, writhing flies crawled over every inch of the goddess, hanging from her skin, layers and layers of them, heavier and heavier. Ea Nebel screwed her eyes shut, covered herself with her arms, and was lost in a seething mountain of vermin.

Minutes passed. The great mound billowed, heaved, and sagged. The noise grew softer as the last flies landed on their kin. The motion was subtle at first. It grew steadily, sweeping around and around, the repulsive skin of pawing scavengers carried by the currents whirling beneath their feet.

Then they, too, were absorbed.

The mound flickered, from sweeping black silk to glistening ferrofluid to glass and back to blowflies, blowflies, obsidian, silk. It collapsed in on itself until it was a pillar, and in that pillar was the figure of a woman, still standing, arms still crossed over herself, and finally resolved itself into a heavy black coat, tightly buttoned. Not an inch of skin showed under her sleeves and gloves, not a single line of her cringing face beneath her hat and veil.

Without releasing her arms, Ea Nebel snapped her fingers, conjuring into being a tiny animal; the runes from her jade ring traced the spell and tangled together as it resolved into a little tombwasp, perching on the clear and empty rock before her, cleaning its little white antennae as if afraid to get a speck on its garments. She pointed, and it flew off. By the time it returned, she had finally opened her eyes, relaxing her stance very slightly. She lifted a palm and let the predator deposit its quarry: a single, paralysed fly.

Ea Nebel raised her veiled face to the clear sky above.

“...Here it is.”

The fog at the throats of the vale dissolved, and the voice from above spoke again.

“It is the virtue of wisdom to know the nature of things,” it said, “Wherein they are constant, wherein they are mutable, whereby they are driven to their acts. Likewise it is to know how those attributes may be coaxed and guided to form a nature embodied in a guise that we desire. This is a virtue of the divine.”

A black cloud briefly swirled around the thinner end of a low nearby mountain's bifurcated summit, about large enough for one to stand.

“The second trial awaits there.”

“...Let me catch my breath.” Ea Nebel had yet to move a single step from where she stood. She inhaled, held it deeply, released. “Blowing away my hat. Was that a clue?”

Only the bitter howl of the wind among jagged rocks answered.

Ea Nebel looked down at the envenomated fly in her hand. It was twitching weakly, on its back, as if drunk into stupor. In its current state it could neither look towards her nor away from her. She let it fall between her fingers to the valley floor. She stared out into the long trough of empty stone, no longer bound on either side. Had she solved this riddle? Had she even tried?

Why had the one fly turned its back to her? All else looked to her, while it looked away, away from the Nebel spirit, looking out from the grave, looking towards- what? Life? The cradle?

Birth?

Ea Nebel watched the little wasp she had conjured take to the air in front of her, innocent and young. It had found the fly, not her. She pinched the tight fabric of her sleeve, the skin beneath. In the end, she might as well have just counted them. It didn’t matter how many millions of insects were woven into her own inescapable cocoon. The test had been to call up the one that wasn’t.

Footsteps echoed down the god-carved gulch, and then all that was left was the fly, and the wasp.




From the high ledge of Fortitude's tomb, the inaccessible spires and hidden depressions of the range were bared in a vast circle, and by far moreso to a divine eye. Even the secluded gulch had been keenly visible to the watchers above, though they themselves were concealed by a snaking bank of pale mountain mist.

Iqelis moved a step back from the ledge and silently turned an expectant eye to the others.

“How wonderfully contrite; a murderer pontificating the virtues of wisdom and divinity. However, I can at least appreciate the simple nature of your test.” Homura commented, content with the outcome of Ea Nebel’s first trial.

The One-Eye gave no reply, perhaps disdainful, perhaps absorbed in some arcane effort of marshalling the invisible forces that guided the ordeals, save a meaningful glance at the spear in the goddess' hand.

Ruina blinked as Ea Nebel began to depart for the second phase of her tests. Turning to face Homura as she spoke, Ruina noted the lack of a reply from Iqelis and spoke her own observation shortly afterwards, turning to face him as she did. ”I will agree with Homura that the simplicity of the test is appreciable, but I will raise observation that the lack of any form of limitation on time was rather generous. If she wanted, she could’ve counted each individual fly until she found the one you indicated. Some form of limitation or urgency in that sense would make for more thorough testing, I believe.”

“Be assured,” the god's voice sounded distant, like an avalanche somewhere far among the Bones, “That the flies would not have sat idle if she ever neared her goal by that path. She could have worn out her eyes counting without approaching it.”

Ruina could only let out a hum in response as she turned her attention back to Ea Nebel and awaited the next of the trials.



gentlemen it will soon be time for me to take my new year's weekend

i trust that no one will make any 'posts' during this period


Heavy were the fins of the whale that crossed those cold northern seas. Heavy were its lungs that had breathed of many skies. Thin had grown its wrinkled eyes.

Mamang was old.

Long over was the age of whales now. Cows calved, bulls sang, and dancing lights ripped them apart in the night. The hound of Heaven had its fill. The sea was ever filled with them, as ever it would be as long as the cows swam south to calve, and every year the weaned grew smaller. Their kind had supped on the gifts of the Life Mother, though those gifts were small as their nature decreed, and their race were titans. Now her bounty revealed its hidden price: all things have their balance. Even the giants.

Even Mamang.

He knew what was coming. Only one clan had defied the crushing grip of Nature so, their ancient size preserved where others of their race shrank away. They were lords of the sea, unmatched in cunning and supreme in violence. No armoured scales could resist them, nor would they ever forget the secret of immortality. When Mamang had feasted on godfish, they had bolstered him, for a time. They had gorged. They were gorging still.

They were the god-orcas, and their song was the wolf-whine of death.

The alliance was forty strong, and bulls were with them also. Three matriarchs led the slayers into position, holding their voices quiet as they spun their wide net around him. Mamang did not need to roll his unbroken ear around to know that he was at the center. The fever had sharpened his sight, and he saw through clear water the black and the white, the two colours together that every whale feared.

Mamang's ancient heart began to hammer as he gained speed. He had seen it all happen before. It always began this way. First they marshalled. Then, the chase.

The elder whale accelerated. His body was an arrow, his heart a furnace, his banded tail a great wing. He flew through the waters, and his gargantuan body was no impediment, an engine of muscle that propelled him with terrible speed, speed enough to swallow whole schools of squid before they could scatter, speed to throw himself up high among the birds. He could not slow. He could not tire. To tire was death.

The matriarchs purred, and the god-orcas drew nearer. Divine power had seized them. Their song chittered with bloodlust. They would never give in: the Love Dance called them on, to slaughter, to glory.

The horror of death was the horror of utter helplessness. Mamang could do nothing to defend himself. When he finally tired, then the thrashing would begin, the desperate flailing sweeps of a tail that could propel him away no longer. An orca that fell in the path of that titanic wing could see its jaw crushed against its skull, or the wrist of its fin shattered in an instant. Sometimes a young bull would be maimed that way. The matriarchs never were. They led their slayers well.

Mamang's tail burned and he blasted air at the surface, breathing heavily, never slowing. His plume was the only one. The god-orcas never breathed.

After the thrashing, the drowning. Their net would close. They would be around him, on top of him. They would cover his nostrils. They would bleed him. They would shred his fins with their teeth until blue became red. They would circle in and out of the carnage as they tired, leaving the victim no respite. They would ram him as they entered the fray, until his pale-patterned skin was black with bruises. All the while, he would try to breathe.

They did not need to kill him. Once he could swim no further, they would feed.

Mamang flew on in the waters, surrounded, hunted, cornered, utterly alone.

Memories of his mother flickered unbidden in the whale's terror-soaked brain. No mother could help him now. Memories of swiftness. Memories of death. The chasm of air. The taste of poison. Zhongcheng's claw. Memories of corpse-blood fouling the ocean with its smell. Memories of the voice that had whispered at the chasm of death. Memories of other voices.

Kn... ...t... ...ef... ...nc... ...s... ...ed.


Memories flashed in his roiling brain like storm-lightning. His tail heaved. Mamang swam. He swam. He flew. He breathed. The sun burned his back. The god-orcas would never falter.

The chase went on, and on, and on. Exhaustion crept on the whale.

And yet it did not end.

Memory after memory burned in Mamang's eyes, and he did not slow. He tired and did not slow. He tired, and did not slow.

Memories burned before him. Memories of blue. Memories of speed. The memories were all around him. The memories were blue. The blue was speed.

Mamang's heart began to calm. He let his tailbeats lighten, then cease altogether. He glided, faster, faster. The blue wrapped itself around him like a pod of his cows, carrying him on. He was soaked in it. It was his.

He would not die today. He was beyond the orcas- beyond what he had been before his hundred memories. Mamang was not a calf. He was the bull, the ancient, wandering bull, lord among whales. The god-orcas would scatter before him. They would fear him. They would fear him like fish- because he could hurt them like fish.

Mamang's broken ear pounded with blood.

Memories of hurt flared within him.

I̸̛͎̟̠̦̙̝̣͎̼͎̮͍̩͕̤̲̤̫͔̥͍̊̔̾͗̾̑̐̏̑͑̒̈́̄̂̍͗́̀̑̈́͜͝ͅ ̶̨̨̡̨̛̝̼͎̱̪̲͓̥̲̩̦̘̫̖̩̬̳͙̮̽̓̈́̅̀̅̌̎͌̉͘͜s̷̤̤̻̦͕̟̫̺̳͈̠̗̼̥̞̒͜ḧ̸̖͕̥̪̳̪̬̝̀͆̕a̴͎̝̜̬͙̲̠͎͖̬̜̮̜̓̅l̶͇͙̙̫͍͈̩̺̼̻̈́̈́̾̿̃̊͛̃̎̾̍͑͑̽͆̾͘̕͝l̸̡̨̨̧̦̬̞̺̲̭͕̬̻͍̠͌̆̀́̓͊ ̸̨̢̖̥͈̙̥̠̩̙̠̹̦̈͛̓͛̃̒̀͋̍̑̚͘̚͜͝d̴͈̫̙̥̖̱̍͆̈́̓̄̈́̀̀̾̈́̿̕̚͠ͅͅî̷̡̢̬͔͙͓̲͓̭̲̥͓̟͉̥̥̹̼̣̯̜̦͗̇̽̓̃̄͂̏̇̈́̐̍́̓̈́͒̕̚͠͝͝v̸̡̧͖̥͎̭̜̲͔͈̻͉̰̓̉̓̓͋̓̆͆̇͊̑̈́̾̓̎̾͜ͅo̸̧͂̊͋̏̅̌̋̀͂͆̒̋̈̋̾̉̈̀͒̆͋͝ŕ̷̨̫̼̫̺̤̻̩̦͎͈͇̇͂͌̉͊̌̉̂͐̓c̴̖̍̉͛̋͗̓̅̈̌̽̔̿̈́̊̄ͅę̵͇̯̖̰͆̐̓͒̽͂͂͑͝ ̶̨̦̞̣͚̬̙̺͍̘̗͎̙̅͑̍͑̽̿͊̐̆͗͒̄̿̾́͒͘̕̚͠m̵̖̫̤͐̈́̓̆̒̊͛͊̃̓̔̂̎̈́ͅy̶̡̛̰̿̀͝ ̷̢̨̟̦̜̺̤̣̮͔͉͈̜̟̣̟͎̰͇̹̩͇̯̿̅̑̎̔́̐̋̒͒͆̄̕͝͠t̶̺͔̟͈̖̝̗͔͖̣͉̖̺̮̺̠͙̫͍̰̜͒̒́͋͑͂̔̀̏̾̔ỏ̴̢̡̹̬̰̱̮̻̫͌̈̄͛͗̉̓̐̚͘ͅṳ̷̾̍͌c̴̛͚͇̱̯̟͍̬̹̺͎̪̻͓͎̩̋̀͗̈́͘̕͝ḫ̸̨̹͔̺̺̥͇̻̤̭̔̀̂̀̈́̊̄̔̋͒͠ͅ ̵̧̧̤̟͙̪̦̯͍̣̳͉̪͍̜͐̅͌̿͜͠f̸̱͚̪̥͕͋͋͋̔̓̂̉̽̋͌̏͐̽́̚̕͠͠͝r̷̛̬̙̦̹̲͍̱̜̮̤̙͓̃̑͊̂͂͊̒́̅̐̌̐̃̽̈͆͌̚̕ờ̶̦͙̬̌̅͑̑͗́̓̊͆͝͝͠m̵̡̪̹̊̌͋͒͆͐̇́̓̍̅͠ ̶̟̻͆̈͋̎t̴̢̢̡̛̫̲̬̫̙̯̻͕̠̓̄̒͐̚ḩ̸̨͈͔̙̜͕͈̜̳̮̝͕̖̗̖̼̘͙͚̻͖̻͋̈́̾̋̚̕ͅȩ̵̨̛̤̤̖̩͔͓̯͚̰̼͇̖̬͎͔̱ ̶̧̛̫͙͍͖̳͓͍̥̪͎̞͖̭͔̳̦̤̹͍͌͆͑́͐́̄̋́̈̈́̅̾̍̈̑̔̈̍́̈̓͝G̵̯͉͚̯̞̤̭̟̬̳͚͖̻̜͚̗̹̾͑̇̈́͋̀́̈́͠͠͝ǎ̵̰̘̤̥̭̝͓͉̠̋͗́͊́̐̿̈͋̈́̾̿͛͗̉̕͝ḽ̷̢̨̧̧̬̯͚͕̰̻͔̥̤̼̩̜̲̞̻̜͂̎̑̄̄́̊͐̋͊͌̀̂̉͘͝͝ͅb̸̨̧̺̯̗͈̗͖͕͕̠̔͛͗̈́͋͒̄̈́̾͂̐̾͜͜͝͠a̸̧̛̩͎̺̘̜̩̖̜̻̫͈͎̺͎̲͇̦͈̖̽̈́̌͌͆̈́́͋͆̿̕͘r̵̢̻͙̟̱͖̬̥̱̩̣̈́̒̈̌̓̒̽̒̈́̓͐̓̆̅͊̕ͅ'̷̼̠̺͍̬̿́͐͆́̂̔́̓̓̄̓̽͑̓̆̅̾̚̚̚͝ş̸͈̯͎͎̬̗̬͙͙̱͓̗͖̞̺̗̗̦͛͜͝͠ͅ ̸͙̟́̑͑̄̍͌̌̂̊͆̋̀̉̉̚͝ṣ̷̛̙̗͔͚͓̑́̉̎̔̔̈́͆͌͋̐̎͝͝ͅų̸̨̥̞̪̯̪̯̖͎̙̣̬̬͓͓̰̪͚̹͈͒͑͌͑̿̂̌̉̏͝͝ŗ̸͔̬̬͎̱͍̳͎̜̙̙̭̈́͗͗̂̇́̄͌̍̉̅͑́̂f̸̡̨̗̤̙̀̋̉̏͐̾̽̋͂̎̈́͛̂͒̍̀͑̏̊̕̚̚͝ͅä̵̖̻̱̦̲̙͎͎̖̙̙̩̭̯̟́̐c̴̱͍̠̠̿̊̏͊̚̕͜ͅę̶͓͙̼͕͕̜̮̠͂͋͝͠.̸̡̨͎̯̻͓̜͎̥̜͔̏̓͗́̐̎̒͒̑


Blue memories.

Mamang breathed, casting into the air a high spout of steam. He allowed himself to slow. The god-orcas would never cease to hunt him, not while he still wore the band that was his shackle. He let them approach. He let his head sink below the surface. He raised his tail above the glittering blue.

He swung it down.

C r a c k.

XXIV


Mamang left the god-orcas with neither haste nor patience. Rolling and whining in the waters, eyes bloodied, they called to one another with seized and deafened voices. He did not stop to listen.

They may as well have been fish to him.

It was the season for whales to travel north. Mamang journeyed south. His song was sparing. He could hear it now, in that song: the ancient ocean he called towards him with melody, its soul wrapped around him, its unrelenting, endless blue. He had heard it before. He had always heard it. It had ever been a part of him, growing stronger and stronger. The Laektear-Mother had shown him what he had always known. Now, he understood.

Others could not hear it. He was not like them. He was barely even a whale.

Continents sailed past him. The whole world was nothing but a bay. He knew every rock. Mamang travelled south, and the journey of months was nothing to him. The stench of the curse grew closer and closer.

Mamang inclined himself towards it, and he moaned his song of death. Against that song, there was no equal. It was as if the curse made no noise at all.

He left that thing in pieces.

XXV


At the end of his journey, Mamang finally slowed. The water was blue around him. It had other colours, too. Green. Black. White. Colours for which there were no name.

The ocean burned. It shone, it cracked. Mamang watched it churn in restless chaos. He could hear them, now: whales, giant whales, like the lonesome giants that had once crossed the north. Or perhaps only their ghosts. The echoes of their song.

Whatever they were now, they were whales no longer. Somehow they had followed the godfish here when they had first spawned, and were feeding on them still, as godfish fed on the mana. The colours had soaked into them, and their undying voices were laced with light. They were nowhere to be found.

He could not stay here. He was not like them. He had only one colour- the natural colour, the ocean song, the blue. Perhaps the laektear-mother had that colour too. In time, the god-orcas would claim it as well, and then there would be no escape from the curse of the Band.

For a while Mamang drifted, feeling colour fade to colour fade to colour on his skin.

After all, he was only a whale.





Jiugui

&
[mamang]Mamang.[/mamang]

present

O, to drink like a fish!





XXI


The passage of the great walkers had become familiar, now, to the ancient whale. He greeted them with his song, as he greeted any other old traveller in those cool northern seas, though of course they did not hear. Perhaps, like the circling shorebirds, they could sense the ring that now adorned Mamang’s tail, and laughed with its passage, but the whale heard nothing in their sorcerous song, saw nothing under the sheet of red on which they walked.

There was another sound with which the whale had now become familiar: the groan of rising mountains. It was a sound as soft as a whisper, lower than the deepest voice of the earth. To a whale like Mamang, it was clear as could be, no matter where he wandered. This, now, was the closest he had ever heard it, and he raised his eye cautiously to watch the shore. Was there some shape on the horizon now, where none had ever been? Perhaps. Memories of land were always dim and distant memories. Only the shorelines were fixed in his heart, and the shorelines never changed.

He exhaled and rammed a freshly-created shoal of squid down his gullet.

It was then that a buoy of flesh slapped into the water from above, tossing up a fog of bubbles. A spherical object rolled around sloppily like a half-eaten jellyfish, at the mercy of currents and waves alike. Around it ushered forth an invisible cloud of something woefully smelly.

Filth! Sorcery!

By this time, Mamang was well acquainted with the noxious powers of the ancient ones. Diving quickly into the safe dark waters, he eyeballed the limp-legged thing. Surely a corpse! He had seen many thousands of such limp shapes bobbing in the Sea of Keltra on that fateful night. Some numinous terror had slain this poor land-creature, and all that was left was to warn other whales.

Mamang surfaced just about enough to get the cadaver on his tail, and raised it, briefly lifting the body before it rolled off into the waters once more. Then it sent the warning-signal common to whales and Bjorks alike: a firm, loud tail-slap, crashing down on the surface of the waters, slamming the stinking body deep under the waves.

But the cadaver was far from dead! In fact, once the sonic slap washed it in even more salt, sea and sound, the body stirred to life, rambling something mighty slurred like the voice of a lapping wave. Not even dolphin speech was this incomprehensible - a clam would have made more sense. The ball clapped at the water surface in some crude attempt to swim, but only ended up circling around like a one-finned fish. Around it spilled more of the toxic tea, soiling the seas with sickening smells.

The land-calf was clearly not yet free of its lethal curse. Even a whale could see that it was in need of another cold, sobering wash, or perhaps the sweet, merciful embrace of a swift death. The gigantic tail was not enough.

There was only one thing to be done.

As the floundering goblin gasped for breath, the shadow of the gargantuan whale disappeared into the dark with worrying alacrity. Then, after a moment of quiet, the ocean exploded in a mighty column of spray, and a mountain of whale-meat covered the sun. The last thing Jiugui saw was Mamang’s pleated belly covering the whole of the sky.

C R A S H

Anything unfortunate enough to suffer this sort of cetacean send-off would surely find themself in the Afterlife not too long after. However, the goblin still squirmed, flopping around like a swimming sea anemone. It looked at least, uh, somewhat revitalised, for his movements seemed to indicate the basest of survival instincts - retreat.

The whale stared at the tiny spluttering thing with sense of dumb shock as it recovered. This was witchcraft.

Meanwhile, the little ball unleashed small squeals and groans which travelled through the water with a sort of supernatural dexterity and clarity that only holy creatures could manifest. Like a blown-up, but finless pufferfish, the creature clumsily propelled itself away from Mamang, spitting profanities like a drowning sailor.

Something was clearly not quite right here. Mamang was, of course, too stupid to discern whether it was the body, its pernicious longevity, its stench, or in the whale itself, but something had clearly been fumbled for the worse somewhere in this odorous affair. It circled the body, there in the watery blueness safe from the chill and chop of rough waves above, and let its man-sized eye drift right up to the submerged goblin. And he said:

Mhäm mähm?

The ball stopped and squinted fiendishly at the whale. “You shtohp dat name-callin’! I ain’d no caff!” The goblin snorted out a web of salty snot and washed its mouth with some more of that witchly concoction that oozed around it. “I’mma Jiugui ‘n I wash havin’ a lil’ nap until you decided ta wake me! Who doez dat?”

A what now?

“Jiugui,” repeated the little man. “You zbell id… Achtually, dozzen seem like you can neizher read or wride, on accound of your small eyez ‘n finny limbs.” He nodded sagely while the great wrinkled eye squinted pointedly at him. “Forgib me, pleaze… I’fe been so mush wiff this one group’a ghosts up in the moundains dat I fo’got ozzer creashurs egsisted.” He lifted his cup, which now was full of sea water, and toasted the whale. “Buzz bray dell, wass your name, big sir?”

Mähm-mmäng, sang the whale, a process which took the better part of a minute. It was by no means finished: Mmä-mäam mhäm mähm mähm mahm mmang mämm, mä mmähm-mähm määäm mäng mähm mäm mmahng.

Jiugui nodded understandingly. “A beauziful name, sir. A pleashure. Quite a shtory too, huh - from caff off in the Norf to travelz all aroun’ and explosions ‘n singin’ to endin’ up ‘ere, a sagely ole vederan of the sea…” He shed a tear which floated to the surface before burning off in a puff of alcohol. “Boodiful… Oh, I muss hear more ovvit! Shay, Mammy - you ain’d busy now, righ’? I know dish place a few thousand nautical milesh to the souf - great atmosphere, warm waters. You thirsdy?”

The whale was suddenly struck with the knowledge that, though he was over a century old, he had never had so much of a sip of anything in his life. What’s more, he was surrounded every day of those long years by salt. He was positively swimming in it.

There wasn’t a second to lose. He was thirsty. By God he was thirsty.

Mäm, he explained swiftly as he turned his body away and around. Once again, great haste had become a necessity. Something told him this wayward landling wouldn’t fit down his blowhole with nearly the elegance of the last one, and it would probably be hazardous to try. Within a few short seconds, Mamang was facing Jiugui head on once more, and this time his lips parted to bring the impossibly vast cavern of his dark maw to bear on the squirming god. The god had barely time to react before the whale swallowed him up.

Inside, though, Jiugui made himself comfortable sitting on Mamang’s enormous tongue. He shrugged and said, “I understan’. If you thing dis is de best way of travel, I gan tag along ‘ere.” The water in the whale’s mouth drained by some convenient miracle, and He poured himself a drink in the now-dry baleen hall and took a sip. “Sho is straight souf from ‘ere, I think. Then– WOAH!”

As Mamang dove down, Jiugui spilled some of his wine all over his tongue. Mamang recoiled from the burn of the liquor, and the floor, as it were, rolled like a wave, such that the top of Jiugui’s greasy unwashed hair just about brushed the whale’s palate.The orb of a god tossed screamingly around the massive maw, more wine was spilled, more awkward tongue-rolling was had, and by the time Mamang was familiar enough with the sting to settle his mouth a steady trickle of it was making its way to the whale’s distant throat.

The journey got interesting after that. Sure, Mamang may have made a few illegal migrations and awkward turns, but there was no one under the light of Heaven who would possibly indict the whale for diving under the influence. It’s just so easy to get lost at sea, see, where everything’s better down where it’s wetter, and all the same colour to boot.

They looped around the dancing isles, speeding along merrily at the last minute as the glowing laektears turned from yellow to red and the stone began to rise, then sailed past the convocation grounds of divinity, where Mamang skimmed his fin through the wall of the last-remaining surface of vertical ocean between two mountains. They stopped somewhere in the far west when Mamang realised he was skirting the wrong continent entirely, and wheeled merrily around for a while before turning back, flaunting his bangle to a bewildered Zhongcheng somewhere in the glittering bays of the Ring of Shadows. Their route may as well have been drawn in chalk on a convenient wall by a giggling toddler, and no less entertainment was had. No laws were broken that night, but more than a few were written the next day by an assembly of whales, laektears and godfish, their quarrels momentarily set aside to establish some basic rules of propriety for travelling the high seas.

Then, finally, guided by ingrained navigational memory and a smattering of miracles, they arrived.

XXII


Before them laid exactly nothing - on the surface, that was. It was just about winter time here, so whatever traces of the island paradise Jiugui had talked about laid resting at the bottom of the sea. It wasn’t hard to find, sure - eventually their sloshing search brought them to coordinates roughly fifty metres beneath the surface of where they had initially arrived, whereupon they were greeted by a forest of coral and salt-crusted surface flora. Crustaceans and slugs, bacteria and algae all grew thick on the surface flora, eating what they could before the island’s eventual rise back to the surface. The whale, by now in sore need of a little lay down, settled his great belly in the middle of the island and crushed a good deal of it. Mähm.

Jiugui pushed his way out of Mamang’s mouth and scratched his head ponderously. “Gosh, coulda sworn thish was above the wader when I lash shaw id. Mussa been some bender, huh,” he chuckled to himself and nudged Mamang amicably on the nasal nob. “Le’s see if my secret stores are still ‘ere…” The orb flapped his way into the coral forest, frightening crabs and gulpers alike.

Mamang belched a contented cloud of bubbles from his blowhole, watching placidly as a snub-nosed dolphin berated him in no mild terms for his impudence. He flicked his flipper upwards, tossing a previously well-disguised skate into his interlocutor and sending both the confused islanders spiralling away together. His big sleepy eye rolled once more towards the blob.

The fat man had reached the heart of the forest - an overgrown beach full of rocks, broken eggshells, dead trees and skeletons of whatever was unfortunate enough to not make it off the island before it sank. Jiugui kicked a skull over and dug around in the sand. A curious school of anchovies nibbled on his robes and a broad-shouldered king crab plucked at the stale bones of the now-beheaded skeleton next to him. The violent protestations of a local hagfish went unheeded.

After some time of digging and the interruption of two very intimate sandworms’ delicate privacy, the drunk god fixed his grip on a hatch. He squatted down and flipped it open with godly strength, causing tons of water to rush into the air-tight cellar and causing a cacophony of breaking glass and pots, immediately murdering everything within the one-metre radius as a wash of concentrated alcohol pushing way beyond reasonable percentages oozed up from the cellar entrance like a plume of poison. Nearly all of the anchovies flipped onto their backs from acute alcohol poisoning, and the crab stood still in the ooze for a brief moment before she, too, keeled over. Even Jiugui wafted a hand over his nose and went, “Pee-yew! I reckon da’s the baijiu barrels bursting! Funny whad fifty cubics a’ water does to a wine cellar. Lemme go down ‘n see whad survived…” Jiugui squeezed his way into the cellar entrance and whistled a little tune.

Watching the perhaps-immortal goblinoid waddle down into the pit of noxious death, the whale shrugged his flippers and remembered that, unlike the other mammal in the vicinity, he occasionally needed to breathe. The stars high above were beautiful, if a little unsteady-looking, and it was a few minutes before he came down at last to see whether rotund little buddy had finally carked it. The initial cloud of poison had dispersed to the point where a smug-looking hag was able to escape its shield of slime, alive, if terribly wobbly. Shortly thereafter, the goblin climbed out of the hole again carrying a morbidly obese ceramic pot corked with a trunk-like lid. The drunken man giggled to himself and said, “Heheheh, the honeypot was shpared, my fren! Now lessh see if is all still here!” The goblin swam up towards Mamang with a raunchy chuckle on his lips.

The whale waited, floating, and watched with not a little admiration for the carrying capacity of the blob. For a god with more flounder than swim in him and the distinct look of one who might draw his own bath only to drown in it, the sight of that round artefact had sure filled him with spirit. Little did the cetacean know how much it was about to fill them both with spirit by more direct means. The Spirit of Spirits swam into the gape of the whale and sat the pot upon his tongue with a wet slap. Weighting nothing short of a ton, the pot was so wide that it approximated some kind of great squat toad, or turnip, or drunk goblin god, sitting neatly on the tip of the whale’s gargantuan tongue. Jiugui unlidded the container with a well-placed jumping kick and the ooze of obscenely strong alcohol filled the cavity of Mamang’s mouth. The enormous cork was lost somewhere in the darkness.

...Mäaämh? No sooner was the pot opened than the whale was suddenly none so certain of this game. The night had been fun so far, but a trickle was one thing. He was, after all, an inexperienced drinker. The drunk god seemed oblivious to this and scooped up a keg of the stuff, pouring it down the whale’s gullet with festive glee. “Oh, don’ worry, my friend - is a firsh time for everyone! Ganbeiiiiiii!

Well, they’d already come this far.

Mäang-mäaii~!

The keg’s contents disappeared swiftly down the whale’s gullet, and if it were only half-shot for Mamang, then, by God, it was certainly a strong one. The whale slammed shut his lips and eyes and slapped the water with its tail. Perhaps he had made an error of judgement earlier in the night. There was no doubt that this was sorcery, but, if the joy and love overflowing in Mamang’s heart once again were any indication, it could only be good sorcery. Another? Why, yes please! Another would be most welcome!

Ganbei!

That night, the ocean was a magical place. The moon rose high, and from its brilliant eye drifted down glittering sparkles of magic and light, splashing down into the water all around like shining confetti. Mamang’s tail-band attracted every manner of sea-being to come and enjoy the celebration, and many compliments besides. The drops that were spilled were swallowed down by flashing silver fish, and those that perished were snapped up by sharks and squids and laektears and porpoises, themselves swiftly intoxicated. They sloshed and slonked and rolled about together in the waters for hours in the shadow of the whale. The nautilus drank so deeply that the octopus rightly suspected that he would never swim straight again. A big dancerfish oozed a lava-lamp glow of reds and pinks that crawled slowly over her boozed-out body, a field of incapacitated firefly-squid pulsing dumb messages to each other as if the sunken island were itself a curtain of stars.

Then Mamang lifted its mighty head from the water and made to quiet the commotion of light and sea-noise. His brain rolled in booze like a raft in a storm, and the lightning-flash of drunk inspiration had struck. It was time for a poem!

Mamm mhä maäm mng mähm mmang mam-moom,
Moom mäng mhä mammam maang män-mmäai
Mämmmäa mah mma määä mng mhäm-oong,
Mamm mhä manng mng-mam mhäi.


The crabs wept and clicked their pincers. The dolphins slapped their tails and hurled themselves for the water, chittering for encore. The octopus crunched one of the crabs in its beak and wiped a string of briney mucous from its siphon. Even the hagfish swayed with pleasure. Tragically, however, the entire host was so well pissed up at this point that any hopes of translating this magnificent verse have been thoroughly lost to maritime history.

It was well that the evening should end on that high (well, technically, very low; Mamang was a baritone, even by whale standards) note. The sky grew brighter as the booze grew sloppier, and the whale’s tilting vision gave way to whirling fits of nausea. Up and down ceased to make sense, and were his capacious lungs any less suited to the task of gasping in swiftly his chance encounters with air, he surely would have drowned. The island seemed to grow further and further every time Mamang tried to swim back towards it. Flashes of fire began to streak across the sunken stone: the mouthless godfish had waited patiently, but now it was their turn to clean up all who had perished in the orgy of godlike excess, and slaughter the weak; the feast at last was theirs.

The island was lost altogether. The world spun. The tides of dream washed Mamang away into a swirling bubble, buried far in its black and baleful depths. His burned tongue tasted only moon-dust and spirits. His trembling eye swung left and right, fearing things he could not know, and glossy black whale-lice multiplied on his face, chewing into his skin. A shrill cry rose up from an unknown reef, as if some rooted jellyfish was weeping from its bell. Shadows of whales swept over him, and the shadows did not sing…

The dream dried up like foam on the sand, and Mamang was alone under the bright ocean sun.




wanted: family counselling
There came a time when Ea Nebel, Maiden of All Tombs, set foot in the lands of the far north, so far almost that there was no longer any north left, only south. There was in those nights no aurora, for no god had given breath to such splendour. Long rays of evening sunlight sparkled on flurries of snowy glitter, and their dance upon the clean snow was beauty enough for the Maiden.

Yet there was something foul and hot on the wind. Something rotted here with a pestilent warmth, filling even the furthest north with the far-ranging stench of death. The gravedigger of deity folded her mittens into her coat with a grim squint as her boar followed the scent. She knew her duty. Her joyless task would be executed, come Hell itself.

A sound before her was so foreign to the land that Ea Nebel barely noticed it the first two times. Only when the snow grew thin and the air unnaturally warm did she notice what was flying towards her from the heart of the sulphurous miasmic anomaly. An insect- a fly. Not even a blowfly, born of carrion. This was a common fly. This kind was only born of...

...

"By the Heaven-"

Ea Nebel stood on the permafrost and stared at the ghastly abomination poisoning earth and air before her, covering her mouth and nose, eyes wide as a stack of gunmetal ball-bearings. Word left her, thought cringed away. The staggeringly nauseating mass was the work of a demon, not a god. None numbered among her family could have the demented perversion of imagination to conjure into being something so unutterably vile. No monument stood before her. It was an affront.

Gripped with righteous disgust, Ea Nebel felt her internal furnace burn hot within her, and pulled from the ground a tall torch already roaring with cleansing fire. The frost around her gave way to bilious brown mud churned with the worst kind of filth. Choking on vomitous fumes belching from the hill, Ea Nebel advanced through a dense, buzzing hail of flies, deriving no comfort from this profane lesser breed of her father's sacred creature and offering them no mercy from her light. Her crusade bore her to within the closest possible reach of the thing, and there she hurled the torch like a spear into its glistening feculent surface.

It stuck there, falling wetly onto the vast and uncomfortably body-warm heap like a dropped matchstick, sputtered weakly, and went out.

...

"IGNITE!"

The hill erupted into a pillar of flame that pierced Heaven. All colour disappeared except that of fire. Ea Nebel staggered from the conflagration, choking on smoke too black and noxious to speak of. Meltwater steamed up all around her, rising to surround a long smear of toxic brown smoke that would billow from the roiling inferno for one thousand years.

She did not visit those parts again for some time, but was ever after grateful for the bright, crisp cleanness of fresh fallen snow.

MERRY CHRISTMAS DIVINUS 2021





The scribe drummed his fingers on his desk, which he was lucky enough to have to himself. It was a nice desk, a lovely desk really, made of quartzite. In the typical style of his people, it had no legs. A salamander did not stand upright, so there was no need for space below the desk to tuck in the legs, and it didn't stand very high either. So, technically, it was more of a slab.

But a very nice slab!

Thoughts of furniture popped away in his head and the scribe pinched himself. He wouldn't have such a desk to himself for long if he neglected his training. He'd made it this far in his apprenticeship with a mix of discipline and panic, and now was no time to slow down. He sighed, picked up his crystal stylus, and set the copy-text on the desk in front of him.

The Hand Tongue


In the fourth year of the reign of the Granite Emperor, Huēy Tlatoani Yaotl the Tunneller,

...'Tunneller'? The scribe lifted his pen for a moment. Normally the epithet would be something like 'Blood-Generous' or 'the Strong'. Maybe the document had been written before the modern rites of sacrifice- the events themselves had transpired rather early in his reign, after all. How old was this text? Or- maybe the copy-text had just been composed to mix up the words a little, for practice? Nevermind.

Now the name of this crone was Zoltic, and of all the village women in the realm of Chicomoztoc, she was said to be the most advanced in years. Her length was measured to be forty-nine cubits, and she had borne eleven healthy children. So cold was the ancient's blood that her voice was as low and slow as a tremor, and the light had gone out of her eyes, leaving her blind. Though she yet lived, she could not traverse even twice the length of her body over the course of a day, and soon it became apparent that she could no longer chew what little food she still ate.

There arose thus concern among the villagers over their elder, who would surely cease to move, and thereafter to breathe. Said some, she is our honoured ancient, and has lived a noble life among us, thus let us petition the Granite Emperor to bring her to the Great Flame, as did the exalted Tlanextic, blessed be his memory, and the explorer-hero Mixpetzoani, who discovered the Maze of Treasure.

Oh. The text was probably fabricated, then, or at least... heavily embellished. The only serious inroads to the Labyrinth had been made in the scribe's own age. No one so far in the past had any real claim to its first explorer, bar maybe some unfortunate miners.

But maybe the text was old, and the great-grandfathers of Chicomoztoc remembered heroes who had since been forgotten. They had lived in the age of Tlanextic, after all, if only in his waning years. The young scribe smiled. His position was an honour and a privilege, but more than that, what fun it was! To read anything he wanted, any way he wanted- what a mystery!

So the peasantry was divided into four groups, according to what each thought should be done with the bodies of their most ancient. So loud was the clamour that the realm of Chicomoztoc became unrestful, and even the Granite Emperor heard of the affair.

It was at that time that the realm of Chicomoztoc was visited once again by the Spirit of Nepetl. She appeared before the huēyitequitiquētl

"Oh, come off it!"

The scribe rubbed his forehead, looking back through the door to see if the master scribe had heard him. Huēyitequitiquētl? Really? No one used that word. Was 'administrator' not fancy enough? This whole text must be some sort of joke.

as a beautiful maiden,

Nevermind, this text was fine.

veiled and dressed in moonstones. She said to the

The scribe grit his teeth and spelled it out one letter at a time, counting their palm-lines and knuckles. H- u- ē- y- i-

-tequitiquētl that she had come to resolve this quarrel, and bring honour to the elders of Chicomoztoc. Said the spirit, let Zoltic stand among the shrines of the gods, facing the whole village, and become as a shrine herself. Let her be a monument to the health and history of the family blessed with such an elder. She shall bear a bowl for offerings in her coils, and her spirit shall intercede between the living and the dead. For a statue is difficult to carve, heavy to move, and worn down by tremor and flood, and there is no carver in the whole of the realm who could produce a likeness of life such as her.

Said the

"Administrator-!"

huēyitequitiquētl, how shall this be? For her body is stiff and tired, and she cannot stand long, not even on all of her legs. Her eyelids droop, her tail is hooked, her wrists bent by age.

Said the Spirit, let her stiffness not be a sign of brittleness, but of strength. I will teach her to breathe as the spirits and gods can breathe, to calm her heart, that her blood may flow as quietly and easily as the hottest stream. Meditation will release the pain of her muscles, that even the tallest stance will be as restful for her as being curled up in her own home. Remember that your lady Yoliyachicoztl is an ever-moving goddess, whose coils are never still, and you are sculpted by her hand. Fix your mind upon Her blessings as I show you, and your body will be limber, until it awakes no more.

So the shrouded maiden went in unto the crone Zoltic, and showed her the art of dying. The very next day, the elder stood tall in the garden of the shrines of Yoliyachicoztl and Tlanextic and the Heavenly Flame and the harvest, with her tail curled around a bowl of offerings at her side. Her arms were raised before her, and a smile was upon her face, and her blind eyes were open, and none knew the moment she passed away from this world, for her body was asleep in perfect peace.

Thus the elder's death brought lasting honour on the village of Zoltic, and her figure stands there to this day.

The Spirit of Nepetl travelled the realm, teaching the dying arts to the ancients of Chicomoztoc. Much veneration was given her, and talk of the shrines spanned the empire. Many delinquent youths of the realm even changed their ways for a while, hoping they might evade disease, accident, and execution long enough to become a towering monument.

Much good that must have done. Maybe some kind of cautionary insert.

It came to pass that the shrouded maiden was invited to dine at the table of the Cihuacoatl himself, Yolyamanitzin, the brother of the Granite Emperor. They feasted together, and spoke, and the Spirit gave unto him the a gift of a wolfram spearpoint, and he gave to her an amulet of the most precious turquoise.

And the Cihuacoatl said, stay with us, and marry among our family, for your very presence is a blessing to us. But she was sworn to other duties. And the Cihuacoatl said, stay with us, then, until my brother the Huēy Tlatoani returns from his campaigns. But she could not stay. So the Cihuacoatl said, then let us call upon on hundred skilled stonecarvers, that we may devise a way to preserve your teaching in the picture-words of emperors.

And the Spirit of Nepetl answered, o Cihuacoatl, architect of the Granite Emperor, the power to preserve is already in your hands. Behold, what I have given you is not a spearhead but a stylus. Take before you a plate of soft tuff, and observe the raised hands of the monumental dead. For the name of each ancient is held in the shape of their hands, and the names of the ancients comprise many words. Thus in the shape of your hands may be the names of many other things, even words for which there is no image known to the carvers.

The scribe stretched his fingers and set down the stylus, looking at his own weary hand. It didn't look much like a letter, but the curves and joints were all there. Turn the thumb, bend one finger, and that was a single sound, 'mo'- as in, Chicomoztoc. Almost the same sign on the other hand- 'ku'. Raise a mid-limb, turn the wrist, incline the fingers a little, put them together, and... well, that could spell a very rude word indeed.

He laughed. He put his stylus away.

Time for bed.



Ea Nebel


In a circle of ash lay huddled bones. Their incisors yawned wide, still locked in their final scream. What remained of their arms held one another even into death. In the center, black boots. In the boots a woman. In the woman’s hand a hat.

She clutched it to her chest. Her hair fell back behind her. She lifted her face to the moonlight.

Four eyes she had. An error. Nothing more. No Sight had ever graced her. No crystal Eye leant itself to her face, not One, not Three. Four eyes she had, and they but the tarnished ruin of what should have been two. Yet even though she could not See, she could listen.

So she heard. And, though the eddies of the Flow had yet to be revealed to her, those dark blank eyes saw far.

All around her, lines of broken moonlight burned silently across the sky. Ea Nebel’s knuckles grew whiter and whiter on her hat.




The grave of Medes was to lay under a single stone. There was none like it for miles, resting all alone, neither natural nor set with purpose, only fated to be where it was. It was large, covering the whole of the circular pit in which he had been laid, wrapped in a warm shroud as was fitting for an old man who had passed in the chill of the night. His blindfold had been blown away from his bones with the dust of his flesh, as though he had lain still for ten thousand years on this firm bed of desert grit, his face still inclined to the moon. Ea Nebel had laid over the sockets of his skull a band of clean black silk to replace it.

“Go home,” she said, when the men emerged from their homes among the far and harsh streams of Nalusa to see what had become of their Prophet. “Your guide rests quietly now. His Sight has been passed to another, and he is at peace in the land that he chose. Hold his voice in your heart when you remember this place, always,” she said, and it was only the wide quiet of the desert night that carried her own to their ears. “Take this. You already know what it is.”

Dawn broke. The leader of the men, clothed in a lion’s pelt, accepted the orb. Ea Nebel dismissed him. “That I might rest, as you did in the days of your journey,” she lied. “Lifting this slab was not easy.”

Then she sat alone again in its shadow, staring at the moonless sky.

Flies buzzed over the parched riverbank. There was a sound of something sharp softly digging into the soil, and a longer, deeper stretch of darkness slithered over the coarse monument and onto her, stretching and folding its many limbs. Boots skidded before it as the goddess awoke in a flutter of black.

“Father!”

She stopped abruptly before the figure of Iqelis and stood there, gripping her thumbs in her fists. Her flurrying thoughts had evaporated. She stared at what had been done. Her gaze fell away for a moment, until at last she wet her lips and found right words. “...I heard such sounds.”

“Some voices ought never be heard,” the god crackled wearily. He seemed spent, both in the dimness of his eye and the frame of his body, ever so subtly slighter than it had been before. “As some sights ought never be seen.”

He crossed the space between them in a stride, and a dozen arms locked around Ea Nebel in a cage-like embrace. There was perhaps more caution than tenderness in his motions, as sharp fingers hovered where they could not risk gouging into cloth and skin, and faceted limbs slid and shifted in an uneasy bid not to wear her sore. Her breath quickened, then slowed.

“You are well,” came a whispering rasp of snapping rusted blades, not so much a question or even a statement as an intimation.

“I am now.” She opened her eyes and saw them reflected in dark glass, staring into herself. “The… other one, moon-bound. Her prophet is ash. Has she…”

“She lives still, regrettably,” Iqelis was looking over her shoulder at the grave-stone, “Would I that you could have built a mausoleum for her under the black sky, but her time is not yet spent. Until then, you will have to bear the weight of her enmity, as all things mine.” A cold hand haltingly caressed her back with its shardlike knuckles. The coat liquefied slightly, remembering its old shape. “It will not be long.”

“I fear her not. Please… be patient, Father. No matter how the river winds, the sea is always ahead. I will wait on the ship with you.” Reflected in glass, the white slab behind her. “Wait with me. As I have waited.”

The hands stilled, and pressed closer for a moment before finally releasing their grip and sliding away.

“There must ever be one who turns the Flow,” the god stepped back, lowering his gaze to meet that of his daughter, “But patience is imposed on us now. Higher eyes still than hers seek to trace your doom.”

Ea Nebel nodded, and slung out her arm lightly to one side, flicking into the breeze the five-cubit banner of Heaven she now wore as a scarf. It danced across a field of colours only woven into one other garment in the universe. “I have been prepared, if only with this talisman. I can bear this humiliating penance with you.” Her eyes met his now, and were calm. “No matter what it is.”

The claws that had been about to snap up at the sight of an echo from the One Above relaxed and dwindled. “Then He would mock you with His scraps,” Iqelis rattled, and as if opening wider his light shone bright again, fed by the familiar fuel of malice, “Flies will feast on His empty eyes and the ruins of His throne will be toppled by hogs when the day comes.”

“All in time…”

He turned his faceless head to the east, but did not look up to the rising sun. One hand motioned to the horizon, and another beckoned for the demigoddess to follow as he slowly began to step away from the riverbank.

“It is the vainglorious fool’s will that I prove your worth as His subject. Come, there are others we must summon to witness that it is done.”

“Very well. Let it begin.” Ea Nebel adjusted her coat and followed the elder god away from that valley, into the dry lands further on, where a very real hog flicked its knowing ears.




gonna start adding goth outfits to ea nebel's character sheet post lmao all my targeted ads are women's jackets and whale watching tours
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