Avatar of Fetzen

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Recent Statuses

7 days ago
Current When you have to disable a new 'advanced' search to get proper search results and learn that 'advanced' means 'AI'. Let's rename it artificial superficiality, short 'AS'. Not to be confused with...
2 likes
9 days ago
I'm slightly proud of myself having overcome my hate for indoor spiders a bit over the years. In my youth I often eliminated them, now I carry them outside in a jar. Spiders here are harmless though.
3 likes
10 days ago
Believe me, if they could, the entirity of Southern Germany would send you all the rain they had over the last couple of days. I'm just not sure you'd actually want the widespread destruction.
2 likes
11 days ago
Finally managed to catch the mouse. Our cat must consider me the most incompetent person of all times given how she watched instead of helping. She dragged the problem in though!
3 likes
14 days ago
I neither have a multiverse in my mouth nor any pocket dimensions stashed away in my clothes. All I got is a Hilbert's Hotel in my head. Does that make me a viable competitor ?

Bio


Welcome to my profile page!


Who the hell is this person behind those many miles of fiber optics and copper cable ?

  • I'm a 34 year old guy.
  • ... who's working as a software developer
  • ... and enjoys roleplaying as a casual hobby to distract himself from ongoing stress


And into which hell will I descend with you participating in one of my roleplays?

  • I'm a fantasy addict: medieval high and low!
  • I'd consider myself to be a low casual roleplayer, 3 paragraphs per post on average.
  • My schedule varies. It might happen that I won't be able to post at all for a week, but then again it might happen that I'll reach a sweet spot inside which I can go on a posting rampage. I'd say one can expect 1-2 posts a week from me, depending on the lengths involved.
  • English is not my native language, but so far I've not encountered anyone who had had trouble with me over that :)


Want to RP with me ? Shoot me a PM, but don't shoot me!



Thanks for visiting!

Most Recent Posts

Is this still open for newcomers to apply ? :)
To say that the Radiant Gate was an interesting asset would have been a gross understatement. If Ordai'el's current situation had been the primary incentive for developing and building this portal, then the capital's fate might have been really worth it. Varandas was miles away from saying that openly of course and had he known the the city's population and splendor better than what he had happened to read in a few shabby books somewhen in his life, he might have thought very differently about said Gate as well.

By all means available to Varandas' humble comprehension, this place was as dead as his body. The thrall would have really liked for it to go well beyond that threshold though the moment the fountain erupted into... whatever kind of wicked liquid that was. Things still moving were hardly an issue in a living environment, but here, everything that showed sudden activity was just bound to make everybody's spine become frozen in an instant. If one could only have the assertion that all mechanical things had become deprived of energy long ago and that everything that was already dead had also already rotten away completely. It would have made things quite a tad more comfortable he felt.

Speaking of comfort, the impenetrable sky above them did not hamper it nearly as much as the other things. The mining town he came from high up in the mountains had experienced conditions not so vastly different on a regular basis. Dense fog, clouds, winds and snowstorms had denied any star- or moonlight to reach the ground for days on end as well. The only major difference was that weather was explainable, this thing here was not.

"My name is Varandas and I have no previous profession worth mentioning I think. There is not much else to tell about me, at last I think you might invent enough facts about me yourself." Varandas spoke loud and clearly, but in a tone relatively close to sarcasm. He just waited for the first comments about his nature, his alleged stench, the crystal stuck in his chest or anything else about his appearance to come up. Yes, from a perfectly rational point of view there was hardly a more inappropriate place for this than right here and right now, but when had human prejudice ever failed him ? Incorrect assumptions were just way to precious to cede them to the truth.

Speaking of comfort again, Varandas found himself quite happy to just stop breathing for a few moments as the fountain's smell wafted towards them. Unfortunately however he also couldn't speak while doing this, and seeing how the portcullis and other things obviously suffered from corrosion and general decay he felt like having to say something: "I suggest we all watch our steps and don't hesitate to look at the ceilings above us here and there. The buildings might have become a tad unstable maybe, who knows for sure yet."
Valentin reached for the map and pulled it onto his own lap, then doing the same thing as Amara and pouring himself into inspecting it. Having discovered the couple of missing markings himself, he noted: "I suppose that a serious bit of creativity and own initiative is an integral part of this mission, isn't it ?" He addressed both other people in the room simultaneous. The man behind the table was the first to answer as if he had already completely expected this kind of question. Leaning back in his heavy chair and folding his hands on top of his desk, he explained:

"That is the case. This, if I may remind you, is first and foremost an investigative effort. If we were already aware of all important locations and details and would already have our people everywhere, we wouldn't need to send you in there, right ? So, yes, you will have to improvise." He paused and let go of a short sigh. "Trust me, I'm a military man. Going into the unknown without proper intelligence is one of the least favorable things any commander with proper reasoning wants do, but that's exactly why reconnaissance units have been invented. You don't send in everyone right away, you send a small, specialized team first!"

The man almost felt triumphant as he was able to explain away at things one got to learn in the first year of this academy. He raised his arm and pointed towards both Amara and Valentin with his index finger: "You two are our reconnaissance unit now! Just... don't try to do anything stupid, alright ? If you see a threat you don't know whether you can handle it yourselves, then don't go daredevil and get killed. Report back if possible, alright ?"

The man rose from his chair, bracing the desk in order to support himself in the process, and turned towards the window that allowed the afternoon's sun to send in its bright rays of increasingly orange-ish light. The sound of his stubby beard being scratched by his fingers could be heard almost throughout the entire room. "I have forgotten something, haven't I ?" he mumbed, then suddenly turned around and provided them with a mixture of fake and real embarassement written on his face.

"Ah! Right, transportation. Well Mrs. Amara, you might have noticed that your companion looks as if he could carry both of us on his shoulders rather easily, but luckily, this is not going to happen in order to get you two where you are needed. We will provide you with one horse each, that should suffice." His eyes darted towards Valentin, resting on him for a brief moment. "At least I hope so. Erm... you will be able to swap to other horses here and there, if needed. That's included in the arragements made so you can keep the speed up. Any more questions ?"
Tentatively interested :)

Just as the greatest pirate that had ever lived was about to turn around and go back inside, what might have felt like the largest hand ever grown at the end of an arm tapped onto his shoulder firmly. "Didn't you, in all your amazement about yourself, forget something ?" the skeptical voice of Fyr would reach Dalious' ears.

"I... want... my... axe... back!"

Fyr tried to remain calm, but hoped that the very deliberate pause he had inserted between each two of his words would be enough to deliver the message of not accepting 'no!' as an answer. "And if you just run inside and frantically start searching anyone or anything, we might lose track of the exit we just found again!"

Fyr bowed and pick up the next piece of solid looking stone he could find, something there definitely wasn't a lack of right next to a cavern's entrace. Given they were in a desert, the mushroom cave's walls were less soaked in water than one might have expected from the average underground tunnel and thus also less covered in dirt and moss. That wasn't something Fyr couldn't replace with violence though, rubbing stone against stone so hard that a visible set of lines was left behind on the wall anyway. "I will make one of these each time we encounter any kind of crossing so we can just backtrack from whereever we end up. It also allows us to determine where we already searched and where we didn't, alright ?"

Fyr hoped that the greatest pirate that had ever lived, in all his self-glorification, would fail to realize the obvious problem with the sign Fyr had just created immediately: It was not an arrow or anything everyone would understand intuitively, but more of a rune as it was more common in the Northern lands he came from, but rarely seen elsewhere. A humble attempt at installing a backdoor should Dalious suddenly decide to just leave everyone behind once he had found whom and whatever he wanted. Given the fact that they had just been a team fighting for their lives, this pirate had jumped the gun towards giving instructions without asking a little too fast for Fyr's taste. Was he just in search of a crew he could hire for a tiny budget ?

"Now let's find Cicero and then our gear!"

Fyr headed inside and guided his steps straight back to where he believed they had decided to go south instead of east. Or no... not they had decided this, again Dalious had all on his own!
Týfurkh


For the vast majority of their introductionary trip through the vast prison, Týfurkh had remained almost remarkably silent. Part of this certainly was because he had to guide -- or rather drag - a certain Chres behind him so the latter wouldn't do anything very predictable, but no less stupid. Another part of this however was simply because he was boiling internally. Something quite outrageous was going on here, but unfortunately all of those sharing this assessment seemed to have come to the conclusion that he was the one responsible for it and not just yet another of its victims. Just how many open insults would he have to endure before he'd either try to abandon the pactmakers no matter what that fancy being had said, or at least start beating the shit out of Tayla due to sheer frustration about her demeanor ?

So far however, he had managed to silently drop all thoughts about exacting verbal revenge: He could have reminded the others that he was not the one breathing heavily after going up all those ramps despite the fact he was probably larger than Tayla, fancy princess and Karina combined. He could have asked the Lord whether this experimental wyres could be reconfigured so to suppress the urge for alcohol instead of magic or just given a rant about how one could dare to call a facility 'safe' that, in its core, relied on things one did not even understand. Or he could just have slapped Tayla right in her face when she had mentioned 'the fat one' and asked for his imprisonment.

Then it happened. At first, Týfurkh didn't even realize what had truly happened to Tayla and honestly suspected something serious. Once he became aware of the true culprit flying over their heads however, it felt more like even the divergence had seen the need for some compensatory justice. He straightforwardly decided not do anything and just let Tayla vomit out their guts, hoping that his demonstrative lack of effort would be enough to destroy any of these absurd 'love bug' theories!

Yet, the more time passed and the more Lys asked for someone to do something, the more this felt wrong, too. Maybe this would turn out to be a wasted opportunity if he continued that way..

"Well still better than not helping her, but putting up this accusatory tone about others not helping her, isn't it ?" Týfurkh snapped back at Lys as he stepped forward towards Tayla. It was hard, but he just had to swallow this vengeful comparison off the odds of his giant feet hitting the Lord's feet as the latter made a sudden move against the odds of bird poop hitting Tayla's slit of a mouth. No... true revenge was made not by adding insult to injury, but by letting the facts speak for themselves.

"Hold still!" he addressed Tayla with a strong voice so she'd be able to hear it despite all the regurgigating sounds and the screaming of hers, but it was more of an announcement of what he was about to do next than an order for whose successful execution he'd wait. Instead, he reached out for the woman's head and tried to hold it in one place and direction suited for the undisrupted flow of whatever might still come out of her mouth. And that even though, given her panic, it might need the force to crush a thousand love bugs for this...

"Someone make him- or herself useful and get water!" he shouted towards the others. "It got into her mouth!"

Was there any piece of cloth he could use ? Poop in her mouth would come out by spitting eventually, but he needed to make her get rid of that ugly feeling on her face! Well, he knew he had cloth on his body, but only beneath his armor! Tayla however... She wouldn't realize a small piece from the lower end of her clothes missing, and even if she'd be able to understand the good cause it had been used for, right ? It was quite easy to use his foot to wedge in one end between it and the floor she was now resting on and to use his other hand to rip off a piece.

"Close your eyes firmly! I'm going to wipe your face clean!" Given that water was still to come, spitting on the piece of cloth would have made the cleaning all the more effecting, but also all the more provocative. So Týfurkh decided to do it the dry way by just adding some more pressure as he started swiping away the poop trails the best he could, still holding her head.

Good thing your 'love bug' isn't behind bars yet as you requested. And should you ask for that a second time after this, I'm just gonna slap your face into oblivion! Týfurkh thought. Yet at the same time he knew that Tayla was just part of the problem. Someone else had made up this entire, stupid love triangle story, and he needed to find out who...

If only the magic suppressing properties wouldn't still be somewhat present. He could have used his magic to help cleaning her teeth! A blast of wind right into her mouth maybe, or some very high frequency vibration ? Of course there was serious potential she'd feel either seriously hurt or seriously sick afterwards, but it really wasn't like she wasn't already doing that.

Fyr frowned as he saw the other demonfolk being... taken apart... by Dalious and the former slaves. Not that this particular individual hadn't deserved it in his opinion, but just a little bit later would have been nice! There could never be enough interrogation if one had the opportunity. And then there was the fact that they all proceeded southwards now. Sure, the eastwards direction could be a trick, but the impression that the exit was down south could just be an illusion as well.

Where was his beloved axe ? What if they'd all even run away and force him to do the same once out of here so he'd never get the chance to retrieve it ? Or what if those demonfolk had even dared to disassemble it and melt it down already ? Just the thought alone felt nasty enough already!

"Anybody got something to burn ? Some of the stones here look as if one could make sparks with them. I want to test something before we continue!" He really would have liked not to raise his voice so much, but anything more silent and nobody would have heard him. They all seemed very enthusiastic to get out as soon as possible. Not that he wasn't, too...
"Oh yes, instructions...." the other male behind his desk mumbled loudly enough for both of his visitors to pick it up easily, but still more to himself than towards anybody else. The piece of furniture he sat in front of appeared to have a nearly limitless supply of yet undiscovered drawers and storage containers given the fact that the officer spent more than a minute digging through them in order to find something. That something, in the end, turned out to be a rather thin stack of parchments with letters written all the more neatly.

"Here, your instructions. I haven't read through them myself to their fullest extent, but I will give you a brief summary of what I've understood. As a general advance warning however, I am not the one ultimately in command of you, and have been provided with somewhat limited knowledge about this matter myself. Some higher ups are running this, some... very higher ups I ought to mention!" The officer nodded slowly several times to underline his own words. "So, see me more of a proxy. I will happily forward any complaints you might have, as long as they affect those in charge of this mission."

So, in other words: No, the screwjob with the missing guide had actually been a rather local affair...

Valentin reached for the parchment, but only took a glance at the top cover before handing it over to Amara. He obviously was not in the mood to read that thing right now, but all the more willing to just listen. If Amara would dare to dig into the document however, she would find a quite detailed, foldable map of the entire kingdom along with a rather generic greeting, the details concerning their contract and the potential reward, and a rather long list of things they were supposed not to do while on the this job (primarily to handle things on a strict need-to-know basis and not to involve any unncessary individuals) and, of course, a motivational description of why what they were doing was so important and what the scholars thought what they might find or not find.

"So..." the male continued, taking in another volume of air before starting his speech:

"This is a very delicate thing. You are not supposed to talk to anybody about this unless strictly instructed to do so or if you happen to have a damn good reason. No need to mention that your employers will ensure to check this reason's validity afterwards...

Strange events have taken place and you are to investigate, to cut it short. You have a map that not only contains the direction you have to go, but should also have a vew special markings spread along your route. These are designated locations where certain arrangements have been made for you so to avoid any uncalculatable trouble. I think the individual letters next to the crosses designate the type of arrangement you can expect to find there: rooms already rented for you, supply caches, people checking in on you."

The officer rolled his eyes.

"Do I need to state explicitly what I think what the latter's real purpose is ? Supervising you, of course. Whatever help those 'people' might be is probabyl more a facade than anything else. I don't know, but these are not my or anybody else's soldiers. So... don't expect high standards, okay ? Wouldn't be surprised if these individuals will turn out to be more scoundrel than anything else. I and you will just have to trust your employers which, as already mentioned, are very high up the command chain."

"So please read through this now and check whether the markings are there and if you have any questions."
I'd be happy, too :)
I've decided I have room for one more, but I might not be the fastest to respond due to a busy real-life schedule in general! If a spot's still open, I'd like throw my hat into the ring for the bandit/cabal RP :)
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