Angel
Featuring: TrishAngel nodded in response to the captain’s order to watch the shipment. There were bound to be plenty of thugs trying to find something valuable, and she was the most obvious candidate for guard duty. Still, she hardly jumped for joy at the thought of pacing the cargo hold for who-knows-how-long on the off chance that someone was able to break in, or even had the desire to do so. So it was no surprise when, after an hour of uneventful pacing, Angel yawned and decided that she could go ahead and sleep for a bit. What were the odds of a thief breaking into
our ship, anyway?
Angel woke up with a start, as a loud yell erupted from the corridor. Grumbling to herself about noisy crewmates, she was unable to discern what the voices were saying, although she
could make out who was doing the yelling – Jinxy and Trish.
What could they possibly be arguing about? Angel wondered annoyedly, as the voices began to die down. Knowing there was no chance of getting back to sleep now, and curious (and worried) about what the argument may have been about, she sat up and strode to the door, poking her head out timidly to find the corridor deserted. Locking the door behind her, Angel walked across the hall and knocked on Trish’s door.
Trish hadn’t even heard the first few knocks on her door, she was to self absorbed, too busy remembering the days she’d spent with her father. She was a prisoner there too, not physically restrained, but was unable to survive without him. Being back in the same situation brought the taste of bile to her throat, and she was regretting ever having deciding to trust Jinxy with her plan. If she’d just taken the fuel, instead of asking, she’d already have the procedure done, probably wouldn’t have even known about the blasted canisters, wouldn’t have given into the temptation of selling them. But at least she now knew where she stood. She was just a useless pet of the captain’s, something he’d bought and was probably regretting.
When she finally did notice the knocking, she just assumed it was the captain again, coming to berate her further. Just loud enough to be heard,
“Come in,” the defeat in her voice more than evident. She didn’t move from the center of her bed, didn’t stop hugging her legs to her chest, and didn’t even bother to look up to see who was entering. She just didn’t care any more, which was exactly what Jinxy had accused her of in the first place. Maybe the mechanic was right. After all, who did she care about other than herself?
Angel entered, closing the door behind her, and gently sat on the edge of the bed.
”What’s wrong, Trish? What was all that about?” she asked, the concern clear on her face.
And of course it was Angel. The one she actually did feel… something for, even if she couldn’t put words to it. She hadn’t even thought of the blonde during all the shit she’d just done and gone through, further confirming her own selfishness. She looked up, finding a bit of comical comfort in the hood that never left Angel’s head. Her eyes couldn’t meet Angel’s as her despair converted to shame in her presence. Would she end up lying to her as well? Putting her in danger too? Maybe that was why Trish was bad with people, because in the end, all of them were better off having never met her, and she knew it. She tried to speak, stumbling over her tongue a few times before finally,
“I messed up Angel… You don’t even know it, but I put your life, and everyone else’s, in danger, for money. I..” thought I was doing right…
“You shouldn’t be around me, especially with how the captain sees me now.””You really think I give a damn what Amir thinks of any of us? He’s no better than any of us, that’s why the only crew he can get is, well… us,” she responded softly, not having the slightest clue where this sudden compassion came from. Nevertheless, she was more concerned than she had been when she first entered the room.
”What happened?”Trish really didn’t want to rehash this all, but Angel was completely in the dark, so she tried to keep it short and succinct, her voice wavering and soft during the entire explanation,
“We found canisters in the cargo, and the previous captain’s diary stating them to be space sickness. It took most of his crew, a leaky one or something. I decided, on my own and without telling or asking anyone, to try and sell one of them. I didn’t even sell it, just got a price. When I got back, Jinxy and Amir jumped my shit, and when I tried to leave ship, Amir threatened to call the GA on me, for what I am. So I’m forced to stay, as his hostage.” Trish had even surprised herself in the fact that she spoke the truth. Which told her a lot about herself. Muttering very low now,
“I’m a slave again.”As Trish recounted what had happened, Angel wasn’t sure where she stood on the matter. If the canisters were very valuable, it would make sense to try to sell them… but at the same time, the thought of what the buyer might do with it was worrying, to say the least. Angel sighed; nothing in life is black and white, just a confusing gray.
”If it really is space sickness, it would make sense to offload it as soon as possible. However, although getting paid handsomely for it is… tempting, I must admit that I’d probably be opposed to it, for exactly the reason that I was opposed to your initial escape plan from the station,” she said, choosing her wording carefully to try to avoid upsetting Trish even more than she already was.
Everyone was so worried about space sickness. Before today, Trish hadn’t even thought it was real. Sure, she’d heard the stories, the tall tales, the flat out lies like everyone in the verse had, but she’d just shrugged them all off. But in the end, it always came back to the fact that Trish was fine with killing people, innocents or not, and the rest weren’t. She was a monster among thieves. Everything she’d think, everything she’d do, would be looked at with disgust and fear by the rest of the crew, because she wasn’t like them. Trish moved to get up, wanting to do something with her hands, while she tried to figure out what to say next. Everyone else was already done with her, for she assumed Beth had been informed by now, and whoever that other guy was, so Angel was the only person Trish even possibly had a chance at having a semblance of trust in.
She moved over to her bag, that had been unceremoniously dumped on the floor, pulling out her meager belongings, lastly the little statuette of the grenade they’d found. She gingerly put that on the desk in her room, and sat down, staring at the wall.
“I… I’m not used to relying on others, to thinking about others, Angel. It’s always just been me versus the universe. I’m selfish, and I know it. If I had sold it, I would’ve turned over the money, because a better ship, parts for me to work with, would make life safer and easier for me. I thought I was doing it for everyone, but they’re right. It was only for me. As it always is.” She looked over at Angel, just a couple feet away on the bed, her eyes once more filling with tears at this rare admission. She didn’t enjoy being a monster, but as usual, it was all she knew.
Angel couldn’t help but give a solemn smile.
”Well, it isn’t just you anymore… it’s us against the universe now. So get used to it,” she said lightly, and then she reached over and hugged Trish for the briefest of moments, before realizing what she had done. Separating, she stared down at the floor, fighting to suppress a blush.
Trish was definitely surprised by the hug she found herself in, especially following the show of camaraderie that Angel had given her. But she didn’t flinch as she normally would’ve when someone, anyone, invaded her personal space like that. And for the briefest of moments, she embraced Angel in return. It was over as quickly as it had begun, not blushing but unable to look at Angel, for a different reason now.
“I… I’ll try. And… I’m sorry that I may or may not have almost maybe gave you space sickness…. Is it really that bad?”Angel laughed at the triple conditional apology, as the mood seemed to darken.
”Yeah, it’s… pretty bad,” she answered.
”I haven’t seen it myself, but as far as I know, all the stories are relatively accurate.” As the conversation resumed, Angel’s mind raced. Why had she done that? Why didn’t Trish stop her, when everything she knew about her suggested that she would? Why, why,
why?Trish nodded, wondering if this could be taken as truth, or just the furthering of the myth. She realized that she should’ve asked the doctor she’d met with. But it was a bit late for that, as she doubted she’d ever see the doctor again, per captain’s orders. Unknowns like that often made Trish obsessive, but she found her eyes being drawn over to the woman that had somehow calmed her down seemingly effortlessly. There was something, different about Angel right now, and Trish couldn’t peg it. She wasn’t sure if it was bad or not, or if it was anything at all. But Angel had shown her kindness, understanding even if it wasn’t accompanied by condonement. She scooted over closer, staying just out of what she assumed was Angel’s personal space,
“I just want you to know… That I…,” before getting a bit quieter, stating simply,
“Thank you Angel.”Finally, Angel made eye contact with Trish.
”No problem,” she replied.
”You would have done the same for me.” But was that true? She barely knew her, really. If anything, it seemed more likely that she wouldn’t have. Yet for some reason, Angel was sure that she would.
”Well, I’ll see you at dinner, okay?”Trish really hoped that she would’ve done the same for Angel, for she wasn’t entirely sure. But now, and from now on, she knew that she would. Her gaze softened a bit as Angel started to excuse herself, reminding her that dinner, and Amir’s ship meeting, were coming soon, bringing more dread to the woman. Without thinking, her hand reached out and grasped Angel’s, just a bit more tears stinging her eyes,
“Thank you again, and, I look forward to it.” Trish decided one last thing needed done, and knew that Angel wouldn’t understand.
She stood up, letting go of the woman’s hand, and pulled the remaining item from her bag. It was the rig designed to attach the bomb to one of her ribs. She placed it on her desk, grabbed her statuette, and with three swift blows, left it in pieces. Sure, she could’ve disassembled it, used the parts for something else. But there was something about the symbolism that she felt she needed. She scooped the parts into a small pile atop her desk, and moved over toward Angel, to show her out, even if she didn’t really want her to leave.
Angel was just as surprised by Trish grabbing her hand as Trish had been by her hug, but this time she didn’t show it. She watched as Trish destroyed the device, assuming the action held some significance that she was not privy to, then nodded as Trish made to show her out.
”See you at dinner,” she said over her shoulder as she walked through the opened door, unlocking her own and crossing the threshold without looking back. Locking it behind her, she slid down onto the floor, pondering the events that had just unfolded.
Trish smiled at Angel’s departing words, and watched her leave. When the door slid shut, hissed lock, Trish found a hand pressed flat against the cool metal. Did Angel really have to leave? This had been one of the only moments since the crew had come together that Trish could’ve called pleasant, despite the circumstances. There had been a few of these moments, and all had been with Angel. Her hand hovered over the control panel, her fingers wanting to hit the unlock, to open the door, to ask the woman to come back. Moments passed, Trish’s mind trying to decide what she wanted versus what was smart. Her hand dropped, making Trish feel like a coward, once more kept helpless by her own mind.
Then her stubbornness took over, and she hit the open button, listening as the door hissed open, hoping Angel was still there. She saw an empty corridor, and her face fell into a frown. Peering her head out, she saw no one along the length of it and sighed. She turned and closed her door behind her, wondering what she could do now to keep her mind busy, so that she wouldn’t obsess about this ship wide meeting, where she would likely be the center of the attention and ire. At least Angel would be there.
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Kirah
