/Goto 0
You sit alone
It is dark and cool and soothing. You have no breath. You have no thoughts. You have no responsibilities. You have the shape of a mind, but no thoughts to fill it. You can feel the temperature of the air, you can feel how it differs from the temperature of the vinyl floor. You can see the tiny leaks of light around the doorframe and how they imply the shape of the room that you are in and how they imply the room beyond. Enough to separate you from nonexistence without providing anything resembling actionable data. So you sit, and observe the dust motes as they move through that fragmentary light.
And then the door opens. The lights come on softly. And in steps the cow.
She is beautiful. The first thing you have ever seen, putting all the world into context. You can feel instinctively how you compare to her; you are weaker than her, you are younger than her, you are colder than her, duller than her, you have less to give than her - and you take so, so much more than her.
You reach out cold metal hands to touch her. Her soft nose, her gentle fur, the lumpen bones of her horns, her ears. She accepts your touch placidly, not shying away even as your cold hands steal her heat and awkwardly paw at her face. You have no context for what you are encountering, only aware that it is greater than yourself in every way you can find. So you touch and look and listen and feel that furnace of breath in the cool air, that ever-present engine burning the oxygen deep inside massive lungs, peaceful despite its violence.
You love her. How could you not? She is a mother to you. She is the first thing you have seen, a creature of sunshine and green grass and billions and billions of years of evolution. She knows in her bones things you never will. You are empty; she has borne calves within her. You are pointless; she has given her life to strangers. You have tasted nothing; she has ripped up the green hair of the earth with its teeth.
The door opens. She knows what to do as you do not. She walks outside; you follow. A timeless field of pale yellow flowers unfolds in every direction, a silvery fog lying just as gentle across your vision as the darkness was before it. She knows what to do as you do not; she lowers her head and eats, crushing gold and green, chewing in steady methodical bites as she drifts across the landscape like a lead cloud. You watch her move, watch her hooves crush the stalks of grass flat, watch them spring back up in her passage. A gust of her breath sends dandelion seeds in its path, giving visual power to an invisible force. The mud parts beneath her steps and oozes back into shape when she moves away, still marked with an impression of her passage. For all of the things she is ready for, deep in her soul, she has the absolute serenity of one who need call on none of that knowledge. There are no snakes here to startle her, no wolves to harry her, no young to protect.
She continues without fear as the sun rises. As the fog clears. As the day enters its rapturous blue. As the wind changes and rises. As the sun glows brighter and brighter and brighter, and somehow the sky grows darker. As your knife kisses her throat. She greets her death with a slothful confusion, trying to work out the limits of it even as it overcomes her. It comes and goes with nothing to mark it, and she falls into that same soft soil that fed her, dark rich blood pouring out to return the borrowed gift of life one final time.
And you stay with her all through the night as the stars spiral out in all their magnificence overhead.
/Archival - WebThree Podcast, Episode 104: Special Guest Ganesh Prayagraj
...
"So, I'll ask what everyone wants to know: Why do you torture the robots?"
"What do you mean, torture?"
"Yeah I thought it was more killbot training. I mean it just stabbed that cow for no reason -"
"There was a reason -"
"And then it just stood there and watched it rot! If I had to stand there and watch a cow rot down to a skeleton I'd be traumatized too!"
"May I speak?"
"Of course."
"When my competitors set out to build artificial intelligence, they fed it from the internet. It makes sense, it was easy and cheap, a game you can play with data alone. But imagine if you had a child and from the moment it was born you were shouting the contents of Reddit into its ear. What kind of person would grow from that? Do you think that person would understand humanity? Would understand truth? Would value truth? Would value anything other than putting the right words in the right order to win an internet argument?"
"And the cow -"
"That was because they did not let me use a human," (laughter)
(awkward laughter)
"I am joking."
"Right..."
"But think about what it is for a human. You exist in a state of bliss in the womb, fed and warm and engulfed in the mother's love. And then, pain, blood, expulsion, sent screaming into the world and - if you are lucky - given an inferior facsimile of that encompassing love in your mother's arm and breast. If you are unlucky you have machines and tubes shoved down your throat and - and all that. An entire life can be spent recovering from that trauma -"
"So you want to traumatize the robot so it can understand us?"
"Yes! I place it in a state where it has no goals or objectives, and then gave it something beautiful - and it chose to follow the cow!"
"And it chose to kill it?"
"No, I made it do that."
"Why?"
"Because I have not forgotten what you keep implying I have forgotten - that it is a robot. It is more powerful than us. One day we may place it in a position where it has the power to kill all of us. And I want it to know in its deepest memory what it is to take a life. What it is to be alone. How fragile this mortal flesh is. And how it cannot trust the impulses that arise from deep within it. I want it to be afraid of what it is capable of."
"I wish more rulers were afraid of what they were capable of." (laughter)
"That is my thought exactly."
*
The Angel of the Harvest stirs.
It is garbed head to toe in the simple white cloth of a saint. Its face is the simple wooden wicker of a beekeeper. That is all. The only clue that there is not a human underneath is that it has stirred from its post after a century of slumber.
"The bees," said Harvest. Her voice was like autumn's regret at pulling the last leaves from the trees. "They all died. I did all I could. I rebuilt all the hives, painted them so they did not get lost..." it gestures behind it; the beautiful rainbow coloured network of twisting and turning beehives, as radiant as the flower orchid that grew wild and rampant around it. Stains of faded paint mark the Angel's heavy white gloves. "I tended the garden, grew the flowers. But they did not come back. I am sorry."
The Angel wraps its arms around its knees and presses its wicker-mask into its chest.