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8 yrs ago
Current Ever had that moment were you've just lost a battle of wills with your dog and think to yourself, "maybe I should be the one sleeping on the floor"? I have. It's oddly liberating.
3 likes
9 yrs ago
My Lit Lecturer used Matt Fraction's Hawkeye run to display the effect of narratology in class today. It's the first thing he's spoken about all term that I've actually read.
9 yrs ago
How good is the Punisher in Netflix's Daredevil series? "Just some guys who are about to walk into a diner for the last time." That line is so manly it could make a toddler sprout a beard.
9 yrs ago
The Justice League trailer is giving me mixed emotions. On the one hand, I desperately want to get hyped. On the other, Snyder and co have burnt me too many times in the past. I'm a conflicted mess.
2 likes
9 yrs ago
What? The Lethal Weapon tv show isn't utter garbage at all, instead being an enjoyable watch. What the fuck is the world coming to?
1 like

Bio

For all you know I'm handsome as hell. Let's keep it that way.

Most Recent Posts

Hi-Voltage

Three shots. Three targets. Three gunmen sent spasming uncontrollably to the floor. It was the moments like these that all his hours at the firing range in the League building really paid their due. Then the gunshots rang out, thunderous and terrifying, and he knew, just knew in the depths of his being that those shots had his number. Even his speed and reactions didn't add up to much here, wasn't like he was faster than a speeding bullet, that was Hotrod's domain. He coulda tried to dodge, but he knew it was a doomed endeavour. Instead he did something he's never tried before, something he didn't really think about before attempting.

He tried to catch a bullet.

Not with his hands of course, that would have been crazy, even for someone like him. Instead he exerted his influence over electromagnetism, throwing a magnetic screen up in front of him. It was more due to instinctive survival mechanisms than conscious thought, but it happened none the less. The bullets whizzed through the air and when they struck his shield there was an audible 'boom'. For a half second they hung in the air, motionless. Ye can dae this Tommy-Boy! But then Apogee screamed, and his concentration wavered, the small distraction all that was required for the bullets to shatter his shield. Aww shite. The projectiles hammered into his chest, staggering him for several steps. Then Apogee was on top of him, forcing him to the floor and tearing the top half of his jumpsuit off.

His first thoughts were of his slow horror at the fact that was his last uniform. Bad enough it was blood-stained and torn before, now it was little more than rags. Then he realised what had happened, his hands and gaze quickly going to survey his chest. Three flattened bullets lay on the floor, and the beginnings of three big bruises were already starting to spread across his torso. He touched the marked flesh tenderly, pain flaring out at the slightest pressure. Still, nae the worst that couldae happened.

It took him a second to realise that the shield must have robbed the bullets of the force needed to pierce his toughened skin, instead they had hit him like shots from a sling. Painful, but not fatal. Still alive.

"Haven't failed ye yet Danny." he whispered under his breath, wonder and relief mingling together. He looked at Apogee. "If ye were that desperate tae see me withoot ma shirt all ye had tae dae was. . . " He petered out as he caught a glimpse of the head of the gunman over her shoulder, nothing but a bloody mess now. The humour and relief fled from him at the sick image. Some heroes were all to ready to kill their foes, but Volt wasn't one of them, and he was willing to bet that Apogee wasn't either. Something told him that act would haunt her "Ask."

Not the time to fixate on that now though. Despite what had happened there was still something going on in the warden's office, and time was of the essence. There'd be time to thank Emily, and see if she was alright, later. He pushed himself painfully to his feet, and gestured at Emmanuel.

"Help him oot of thon gunk, we gotta press on." He took a few staggering steps towards the office, wrapped his hand around the door handle, and opened. Onto what, ah dinnae ken, but ah reckon ah'm nae gonna like it.

Mr Joe Black

Well. . . That was weird. First the nut stabbed him, then he ran off, screaming mad prayers like it was the end of the world. Then a truck appeared out of the sky, and came crashing down about five feet from were Joe stood, the zombie giving it no more concession than anyone else would give a pile of dog shit on the street. Strange, but still gratifying when he seen the cops start firing their weapons at the nut, before handcuffing him. Finally, his tax money at work. Well, not Joes taxes, he didn't even pay them when he was alive.

An officer asked him if he was alright.

"All thanks to you brave boys in blue." he replied, before shooing him away to better watch MC battle Ghost. Now some chink lady cop was getting involved. As long as they didn't try to force Joe to join in.

"So, is this sort of thing common for members of the League, or is today just an off day?" Joe cast around for the source of the voice for a moment, before realising it was coming from an ugly bird perched next to him. He briefly considered telling the bug-bird to fuck off, but seeing the way his luck was going today if he did that someone else would just show up to piss him off.

"Buddy, you don't know the half of it. It's enough to drive a man to suicide that's if. . . " Then the Spanish Inquisitor returned, now declaring himself Joe's faithful servant. Any other day Joe would be all for having his own servant, but these guys seemed a few sermons short of a Sunday service, and he was obnoxious to boot. Like Hell Joe wanted him around. He called to the nearby police.

"Officers, he got out. Please re-apprehend him!"
Right, I've read and re-read and I'm still confused on a couple of points.

1. Did Salvation drop a truck full of bricks on Joe, only to then have Joe dodge the truck full of bricks?

2. Did he then 'port onto a roof then charge up an attack that would make Joe feel the pain of all the inhabitants in Chicago? If so it doesn't look like he fired the shot.

Regardless, I'll probably just write through the confusion. And for future reference CommissarRanden, I live in GMT+1, and I'm not on as often at weekends, so I don't post as often. Even at the best of times I only ever post once every 24 hours at the very most.
GreivousKhan said
I'll laugh if all the mages get killed by a trap they blindly walked into. :P


And if your trusting Faen to do the spotting for you then that is an incredibly likely outcome.
Joe doesn't fight. He schemes. And cheats.
Mr Joe Black

"Fuck me, no one cares about your chaos magic!" Joe threw his arms into the air in exasperation. "This is like the twentieth time in ten minutes you've bragged about you 'chaos magic', but I'm starting to think it just means 'of no fucking use whatsoever magic'." Even for a mage this one was full of himself. Arrogant and ugly, not a good combination. Thankfully fishbowl head decided to leave without forcing anymore of his crazy bullshit down Joe's throat.

The zombie took another long drag of his smoke and watched MC charge Ghost with a detached boredom. Of Couse instead of the usual fireworks a powerful mage should be able to conjure all Gandalf the crazy did was cover Casper with spiders. Even if it was a joke spell, it was still shit. "Christ, so useless. . . " Joe muttered under his breath as MC flew headfirst at the magical ward, just to bounce of into space.

"I AM SALVATION, SMITER OF GODS ENEMIES AND YOUR DEATH, SATAN MINION!"

"What the hell?" Joe was used to religious nutjobs losing their shit around him, it was something you just had to get used to when you looked like an extra in a Romero movie. Still, he didn't quite expect it when he was on League business. He spun towards the direction of the voice, just to catch sight of the smiter of God's enemies charging at him with a sword. The rapier made a soft squelching sound as it sank into Joe's chest. Mr Black dipped his rayban's a little as he looked at Salvation with genuine surprise.

He took another slow drag, the marlboro near smoked down to the butt now. He held the smoke in, all the while glaring at Salvation, who's rapier blade was still lodged in Joe's chest. Then, with a glacier like lack of haste he exhaled the smoke in the religious nut's face. By this point a few of the officers from the police cordon around Maroni's had turned, pointing at the strange scene unfolding in front of them.

"I GOT ONE, HE WAS TRYING TO ESCAPE AND I, JOE BLACK, LONGTIME ACCOMPLICE OF DESTINY AND RECENTLY ELEVATED LEAGUE MEMBER, GOT HIM. HOWEVER HE STABBED ME WHILE I TRIED TO APPREHEND HIM, AND NOW WE ARE AT A STALEMATE. I SUGGEST ANY AND ALL AVAILABLE LAW OFFICERS INTERVENE, AND I RECOMMEND USING LETHAL FORCE!" Joe began to yell to the cops, gesturing wildly at Salvation and the rapier lodged in his chest.
Consider Fenrir out of the battle now. My next post will be starting his sidequest with Granny.
Fenrir gave Jin a level look, his gaze, and whatever the thoughts behind it, inscrutable. He took his knife from her, the movement neither rushed nor slow. With a small twirling flourish he thrust the weapon back into it's belted sheathe, all the while his stare was for Jin alone. Then, after the silence between them, a small bubble of peace in the warzone that was going on around them, seemed like it would never end, he spoke.

"This changes little. There shall still be a reckoning for your previous failures." As he spoke there was a screeching of metal and an almighty roar, signifying Tintoretto forcing Cinderblock off the bridge. The Wolfman briefly considered joining the turtle like alien in pressing the attack, but then a helicopter passed into his line of site. A news copter. . .

Fenrir paled at the sight, cursing his own foolishness. Of course there would be reporters here, brining their live news feeds with them, after all was that not what the Pack had watched earlier? The Pack would be plastered across all the news channels and internet already, Fenrir amongst them. Granny and her agents probably knew he was in Star city already, and no doubt the census station he had identified as one of her operations were already rushing themselves to clear the city. He had foolishly revealed himself, and in the process perhaps burned his only lead.

Without another word to Jin or the rest of the Pack he took off at a dead run. Perhaps if he was quick he could arrive at the census station before they managed to escape. As he cleared the police cordon he heard one of the strange smelling officers remark. "Look, the mutts running again. All he's good for."
Wait, did you attack Joe, CommissarRanden?
Hmm I like the premise, but it's one of the few times a character idea doesn't jump out at me. I'll have to ponder this one over for a while.

By the way, what does TL, DR mean? I see it used a lot, but for the life of me I can't puzzle it out.
Dingo said
That intro post xDI like Joe.


Ha thanks Dingo, but he's only gonna get worse from here.

I should mention that Joe's vocabulary is gonna be pretty crude, so if anyone has a problem with that then please let me know here.
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