Benedict

Familiar Hell or Unknown Heaven?

Ezner smiled back, comforted by the man's touch on his arm. Ezner repeated the words, "Star of Scalvoris".

"Thank you again, sir. I will be at the docks waiting for her on the thirty-eighth. Is there anything I can do for you or help with? I would be happy to help you. You've helped me so much."

Ezner meant the words he said, but his face was not able to hide his excitement. He knew when she'd be back, he knew the name of the ship, he knew where the harbor was, for that was where he and Mr. Dey had arrived. If this man, probably her father, thought their reunion would be happy, then Ezner would do everything he could to be sure that he would be there. He wanted to give her that happiness, and have some for himself too.

Familiar Hell or Unknown Heaven?

At hearing that Elisabeth would be back, and soon enough, Ezner felt his spirits lift just a bit. But at the man's next words he felt his chest tighten. He still was pained at having hurt her, but at hearing that she'd be excited to hear him, he too felt it. He wanted to see her more than anything. "Thank you sir. She's my," 'first, only, and best' "Friend. You're very kind. You've helped me so much telling me these things.

But Ezner felt like he wasn't saying enough. He wanted to tell this man more about what had happened. "She made an impact on me as well. She... saved me, and I never got to thank her for it before I... wasn't able. My life will never be the same, in the best of ways, thanks to Elisabeth."

And Ezner felt that to be true, and as he said that, he felt his spirits lift more. He truly was excited to see her again, "Do you know what ship she is coming on, sir?"

Familiar Hell or Unknown Heaven?

Ezner's eyes were wide at hearing all of this. His stomach was heavy and twisted up inside now. She thought he was dead? And she was gone? His face plainly showed his distress. He found himself remembering the girl he'd had to toss the body of overboard that ship all those arcs ago. He didn't even know her name, wasn't even her friend, not really, but he had felt her loss.

He was pained at having caused Elisabeth to go through that.

"I..." Ezner swallowed, his eyes now going down to his hands that were in his lap, "I don't know what to say." One hand escaped the other, and was rubbing the back of his neck, as Ezner tried to process all of this. Elisabeth was gone. She had gone off to either Viden, a country he knew absolutely nothing about, or Scalvoris, a country he knew only the smallest bit about. And she was hurting. Because of him.

Guilt was clear upon his face.

She had done so much for him. She had showed him who he wished to be. She had treated him as a person, and a good person at that. And he'd hurt her by not being there. By disappearing. His becoming free had made her think he'd died. He was selfish. So damn selfish. What would've happened if he hadn't collapsed on the doorstep to that Order clinic? Would she still be here? Would they have managed to find time for each other? Would they have gone to buy those clothes she had tried to get him from Mrs. Dey? Would they be in Viden now, together? She had said she wanted to take him one trial.

"Thank you for telling me, sir. It was very kind of you to invite me into your home. I..." He closed his eyes, then looked up at the man, tears filling his eyes, "I didn't have a choice. But I do now. Do you know if Elisabeth intends to come back to Rharne? I need to make things right."

Familiar Hell or Unknown Heaven?

Ezner looked up to meet the gaze of a man older than himself. He didn't know who this man was, but he did remember Elisabeth telling him that her parents, Vin and Rilith lived here. Though he didn't know which was Vin and which was Rilith. Ezner smiled, stepping back and slipped into old habits. His arms crossed behind his back, his left wrist being held by his right hand, him standing straight.

He started to look down, so as to not meet the man's gaze. But Elisabeth's eyes had always held his, as had Faith's, and so Ezner fought against his instincts and trainings and lifted his head so as to look this man in the eyes.

"Hello, sir. My name is Ezner. I've come by to see if Elisabeth is here, and if she is, if she is available. I would like to speak with her. I am a friend of hers."

Ezner held his gaze, held his posture, and waited for the man's reply.

Familiar Hell or Unknown Heaven?

Ezner couldn't believe the words he was hearing from the woman from the Order of Adunih. He stood there in shock, the woman stepping forward, placing a comforting hand on his elbow.

"You can go now Ezner, it's safe for you. Ilaren has outlawed all slavery. All slaves are freed and protected by Rharne law. Faith has made all of the appropriate arrangements for you." She handed Ezner a sealed envelope that was heavy with documents. "If you ever need help again Ezner, or know anyone who does, reach out to us at the Order of Adunih. Any of our locations, any of our cloaked members, will help you. It is the vow we swear."

She stepped aside, giving way for Ezner to look out the open door. He'd been a freeman for three seasons now, but he had been trapped here in this safehouse. Now, once he stepped across that threshold... he'd truly be free. That tiny little sliver of the world out that door looked enormous to the freeman.

His throat tightened, his heart began to race, one hand rubbing at the tattoo on his neck. He looked all around him, as though seeking permission from someone. Out there... was freedom. Out there he was in charge of his life. Out there he could make choices.

And it was terrifying.

"Oh look how blue the sky is totrial!"

Blue.

He closed his eyes and he saw hers. Deep, cerulean, looking back at him. Looking at him, as a person, as a friend. She was out there too. And he knew in that moment what his first choice would be. He opened his eyes, a determined look on his face. He turned to the woman, smiling, "Thank you, for everything." She nodded at him, smiling back.

Ezner then made the first real choice of his free life, and he stepped out the front door of the safehouse and into the streets of Rharne. The last of the fog was clearing from the long morning, and it was about midtrial.

And Ezner made the second choice of his life. He quickly got his bearings, realising where he was, and he turned to the right, and walked as a man with a purpose. And his boots carried him through the streets until he climbed up a porch, knocking on the door of the house where Elisabeth had let him spend the night. Her house.

She was going to be the first person he told that he was free. He knew people at the Order knew. But he'd not told anyone yet. And he wanted her to be the first. And so he waited, smiling, as the door began to open.

Blankets, Breakfast, and Blue Eyes

Ezner scrubbed at his skin roughly, getting every bit of grime and muck from his skin. He made sure to clean out beneath his fingernails, scrubbing his hair and face thoroughly. And he listened. And he let his mind work as she did.

'A Ball? I wonder why Mr. Dey didn't go. That sounds like something he would've liked.'

'No, it wasn't open to everyone...'

'"All you do?"'

Those last two stung a bit, but he kept it to himself. He knew she wasn't saying those things intentionally. She wasn't the only one. The people at work, people from the Order during his time in the safehouse, they all had slips of the tongue like that. He couldn't blame them. People simply don't think of slaves often. It was understandable.

Still, it hurt to hear.

'She knew people there. That's nice. I wish I knew people too.'

There was another few pangs of loneliness and self-consciousness. He didn't really know how to get to know people. Elisabeth was the only person he really knew, and he still only barely knew her.

'She dances? I would like to dance. I've never danced before. Good to know to not step on toes.'

For some reason that reminded him of when he was a child. He would serve his owners dinner, and if he ever accidentally bumped them or touched them while trying to ladle soup, they would whip him and make him do it again.

'I would like to go to Viden. She said it was beautiful, back on the trial we met.'

'I wonder if she will be weary of traveling so much. Will she be staying here for a while?'

And when she said that he had found her, a smile grew upon his face, one she would be able to see despite being behind him. Ezner finished bathing, climbing out, walking over, grabbing a towel. He dried himself off quickly and efficiently, then using a second towel nearby, dried the floor where he'd been walking. He hung them both back up neatly, getting them just exactly straight and perfect. Turning back toward Elisabeth, his smile was still there.

"Sounds like you've traveled a lot. It makes me happy to know you had nice journeys."

He reached out, gently grabbing her hand, walking into his bedroom again, "Whereabouts in Scalvoris did you go? I was born in Almund and it was the only city I knew. And not well, just our neighborhood where I ran errands mostly."
Ezner quickly got dressed. "I'd like to go back. Slavery is illegal there now. I wonder if my mother is still there."

Then he turned, his eyes a bit brighter, as he looked her right in her own, "Would you like to go there with me, sometime?"

'Because I would like that.'

Blankets, Breakfast, and Blue Eyes

Ezner smiled, taking the second gift she'd given him, looking down at it, an excited and curious grin growing. Then he nodded, obeying her command to not read it now. He set it down on the top of his desk. Then he fixed it so that it was perfectly centered and straight. He made sure that it was just right.

"Thank you, Elisabeth."

Then his stomach grumbled loudly, and he remembered why the two of them were here. He moved over toward his trunk at the foot of his bed, kneeling down before it. He looked up at her, "Could you tell me a story from while we were apart? I would like to hear about what happened... outside... of the safehouse I was in."

He flipped the latch on the trunk, and creaked the chest open. He reached inside carefully grabbing the neatly folded shirt that was on top of the stack on the left, the perfectly straightened trousers on the right, and the small clothes and socks folded in the middle. All of his clothes were in the natural colors of the fibers, undyed, lower quality made but at least not filled with holes. He set the outfit on top of the bed, closing the trunk once more. It was clear there was no consideration for fashion or matching of the clothes. Ezner always worked from the top of the pile down to the bottom until it was laundry day. Then he'd repeat the process again.

Once that was done, he gently grabbed her hand and took her through the door into the connecting room, which happened to be his bathroom. It was just as neat and pristine, though still unadorned, as the bedroom. The large, claw foot ceramic tub in the center of the room was filled with cold water. Ezner filled it every morning from the tap. It was always so cold, and he dreaded it, already feeling goosebumps forming on his skin.

Still, he needed to get cleaned.

Undeterred, while still listening to what Elisabeth might be saying, he reached over his shoulders, grabbing his shirt. He pulled it up and over his head. As the cloth rose over his back, it revealed the many, deep and faded scars from whips that crisscrossed his back. It also revealed a man no longer starved, his ribs slightly visible, but now more protected by muscle.

He set the shirt on the stool next to the tub, and preceded to bend down, removing his boots and socks. Then he untied his trousers, and slid them down, standing there in his small clothes before slipping those down too. Once he had all the clothes in a pile, he knelt down picking them up, and moving back toward the door he and Elisabeth had come in on, depositing them in the hamper next to the entryway. Then he walked back to the tub, taking a deep breath to steel himself, before slipping a foot into the cold water.

A gasp escaped his lips as the water bit into his skin. He was quick to submerge himself, knowing it didn't get better, only worse. Once he was seated in the water, he grabbed the rough bristle brush and soap, and began to scour at his skin, going through his usual cleaning routine, all the while, listening to Elisabeth.

Blankets, Breakfast, and Blue Eyes

As she promised to stay with him, as she apologized again, Ezner realised that he'd already forgiven her. And as he did, his eyes found hers again, and his hand reached out, to gently hold her cheek, wiping away a tear that had escaped her with his thumb. He looked deep into her azure eyes, and he smiled. "I'm glad we found each other again."

He watched studiously how she folded it, making a perfectly straight line. He watched how she wrote her beautifully scripted line. And he began to speak, slowly.

"Muh... my nam... name. My name is..." Then he recognised the next word as one he'd practiced often. "Elisabeth!" His voice reached a cheerful tone, and he looked over at her smiling. Actually smiling. "And Ezner!" He beamed again, "Fo.. foooo..." His nose crinkled up and his brow furrowed as he deeply concentrated. "Foooound. Found! Found me."

"My name is Elisabeth and Ezner found me."

He folded the paper in a mostly neat line, just as she had done earlier, and he held it close to his chest. This was the first gift he'd ever received, from Elisabeth, from anyone. He looked down at her, happy tears filling his eyes, "Thank you..."

He pulled the note away, opening it, looking at it, memorising every loop, swoop, and swirl. He pulled a small, leather bound travel journal out of the desk. He opened it up, and then folded the note into a smaller version of itself, tucking it inside a hidden pocket in the cover, barely distinguishable from the fold in the binding. The open page showed a much more recent version of the alphabet, written a bit more neatly, smaller, and staying upon a straighter line than the note he'd written for her.

Then he closed the journal, returning it back to where it had come from. "I've never gotten a gift before..." He gave a goofy, loose smile, running his hand through his hair from his brow heading backwards, his eyes on hers.

Blankets, Breakfast, and Blue Eyes

Elisabeth had forced the panicking man to stop and face her. She'd see the anxiety clear as trial upon his face, his eyes downcast, both in shame and fear. Ezner, the man who was perpetually still from his arcs of standing as such as a slave, was fidgeting, unable to stop moving. This was not that man. This was a shell, a shade, an echo of him. And he heard her whispering to him. But his eyes never found hers.

But still, he listened. He always listened when she spoke. And as he did, his hand reached out, finding hers, holding it softly, barely there, but still, needing that small sliver of a physical connection. Everything she said was truth. Facts. But right now, Ezner's heart was pounding in his ears, as it had been for many trials since he'd begun to live here.

When she finished, he nodded. But he didn't speak yet. His head lifted, his eyes still not finding hers as he tugged on her hand gently pulling her into a tight embrace. He wrapped his arms around her own, trapping them to her sides as he squeezed her firmly. He was making sure she was there, truly and fully there. He wanted to feel as much of her as possible, to know that he truly wasn't alone. That he wouldn't still be alone the moment he turned away.

And he drew strength from her contact.

Still holding her, he took a deep sigh, stepping back. "Come, please. I want to show you the ro.." he stopped himself, correcting, "My room." He gave her hand a firm squeeze, having found it again, and began to pull her along, walking softly this time. He still had a racing heart and anxiety upon his sleeve, but he was tamping it down. Up the steps they went to a landing, and he took her through a door into a hall. All through this hall, it was clean, free of dust. But every door was firmly shut, save for two at the very end. He led her past the doors he'd opened once and never again. He led her past the bathroom he used, complete with a large, ivory tub as the centerpiece, and through the door to his room.

And once in there, he relaxed, a bit. It had very little adornment. A large bed befitting a king or other noble, with a big, fluffy, blue blanket, a large hearth tucked into the wall, ashes showing it was used regularly. A desk against a wall, and a window that overlooked the length of the property. "This is... my first room."

He went over to the desk, pulling open a drawer. He reached inside, grabbing a slip of paper. He turned, handing it to Elisabeth. On it, in oversized scrawl, messy, not following any semblance of orderly lines, was the alphabet, in Adult and Child letters. And at the very bottom.

"My name is Ezner. My friend's name is Elizabeth."

Blankets, Breakfast, and Blue Eyes

Ezner listened dutifully. But what was meaningful to him? Was there anything? Elisabeth, of course, Faith, obviously. But was there anything else? Anything that wasn't a person? Ezner's eyes showed the sad confusion when nothing came to mind. Of course there was nothing else meaningful. Slaves' only value is their connection to their owners. He'd only just become a person. He had no good memories, he had nothing of importance to him.

All he had was the tattoo, the scars, the memories.

And where her storming eyes found his, there was just deep, endless pain. There weren't tears to accompany them, simply a view into the soul of someone who hadn't even existed an arc ago, and knew it. And all he could whisper out was, "I'll try."

He was quieter now. He was still so exhausted from all the trials of fitful sleep, and while he loved talking with Elisabeth, as she was the only one he did so, his anxiety of what was to come only made him grow more silent. The more tired he became, the more anxious he became, the more he slipped back into the habits he'd carried his entire life.

Now that they were in front of his house though, he just felt so small. And then her firm hand squeeze cut through the silence in his head. He took a deep breath. And then another. And another. As he did every single trial when he came home from work. Only this time, he wasn't alone. His other hand began to move up toward his neck, and he caught it, elbow raised high. Keeping his eyes closed, he squeezed her hand firmly back. This feeling, these two hands, giving each other strength, was what he focused on. This feeling, the feeling of her hands on his neck, these feelings were what he wanted to hold onto. And his hand dropped back down, reaching out for the knob.

The door swung open on creaking hinges, into a small entryway. Ezner opened his eyes, stepping across the threshold, pulling Elisabeth along with him into the entryway. There was no carpeted floor or rug to greet them, nor brilliant chandelier. The house was beautifully crafted but it was fairly abandoned of adornment. Ezner's heart began to race, and he began to start pulling on her hand more insistently his pace looking to meet his pulse. He just wanted to keep his eyes down, get to his bedroom, get cleaned and get changed, and get out. He started tugging her toward the stairs that led to his room, pulling her across an open double door that led into a large room.

The large room had large white sheets covering what one could assume was a bunch of furniture. In the center of a heavily wooded wall, a large fireplace. And every wall that didn't have floor to ceiling windows was filled with equally sized bookshelves that were recessed into the walls. And every single one of them was completely empty. The room was dusty, the air still, but it was clear that it was a gem and point of pride from a previous owner.

A library without a single book.