Now, I know what you're thinking. What has Siiga and Bonnie been doing throughout all this? What weird and wonderful misadventures had they been getting up to that was so important that they couldn't take part in this big fight? Well, I hope you've got some lube handy, reader, because this may blow your mind!
Siiga was trying to give Bonnie a bath. I know, important stuff. Screw fighting for survival and honour, the really important stuff is that your tootsies are sufficiently bubbled up.
Weeeeell... I'm making it out like its nothing important. But Bonnie was in a really bad way. There's some things you just can't see through a threadbare cloak and ragged tunic. Things like the lice in his hair, or the eczema up and down his body. This wasn't that cute kinda sickness you see in books, where the person is a little pale and coughs a little, but is otherwise okay. This was full on Ethiopian Child level starvation. There were inmates at Dachau who would say Bonnie was too thin.
"Bonnie, get into the fucking bath."
Siiga had been trying unsuccessfully to get the little brat to take his bath like a good boy. In one hand, she had him by the scruff of the neck, and in the other, a red-hot iron comb that she planned on dragging through his scalp and melting the little vermin who infested him alive. But Bonnie, being Bonnie, just wasn't having it.
"Nae fear!" He cried, kicking, screaming, punching and spitting in a desperate bid for freedom. Oh, he knew how this worked. You meet a nice girl and she acts perfectly sweet, gets you into a nice room, gives you a nice warm bath and the next thing you know, they're pulling out maid outfits and calling you their waifu. Man, if he had a pound for every time that happened... he'd have two pounds, which isn't much, but it's still weird that happen twice.
With all the swearing and cursing, it was a surprise no one had cottoned on to what was going on. Surely SOMEONE had to think there was something fishy going on? Well, this is a story, so I'm allowed to say no for the sake of convenience, which means the first person to barge in on all this going down was none other than our own dear innocent swimmy girl, Lynn.
And what a sight she would have seen! Imagine that, barging into a room to see Siiga forcing a little naked girly-boy into a tub, his bum hanging out and everything. Poor girl would have been traumatized.
"Lynn! Thank god! Hold this little bastard down while I wash him, will ya!?" Yelped Siiga, deftly avoiding a boot to the chin.
"Oi, fish tits! Git yon creep aff me!" Was Bonnie's response.