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2 mos ago
Current Boo-sette is objectively better than Bowsette. You guys are heathens
2 mos ago
Hey, babe, are you a single mother? No? Would you like to be?
2 mos ago
3 mos ago
Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling...
6 mos ago
"Sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow" has all the letters of the English alphabet in it and is objectively cooler than "the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog"


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Now, I know what you're thinking. What has Siiga and Bonnie been doing throughout all this? What weird and wonderful misadventures had they been getting up to that was so important that they couldn't take part in this big fight? Well, I hope you've got some lube handy, reader, because this may blow your mind!

Siiga was trying to give Bonnie a bath. I know, important stuff. Screw fighting for survival and honour, the really important stuff is that your tootsies are sufficiently bubbled up.

Weeeeell... I'm making it out like its nothing important. But Bonnie was in a really bad way. There's some things you just can't see through a threadbare cloak and ragged tunic. Things like the lice in his hair, or the eczema up and down his body. This wasn't that cute kinda sickness you see in books, where the person is a little pale and coughs a little, but is otherwise okay. This was full on Ethiopian Child level starvation. There were inmates at Dachau who would say Bonnie was too thin.

"Bonnie, get into the fucking bath."
Siiga had been trying unsuccessfully to get the little brat to take his bath like a good boy. In one hand, she had him by the scruff of the neck, and in the other, a red-hot iron comb that she planned on dragging through his scalp and melting the little vermin who infested him alive. But Bonnie, being Bonnie, just wasn't having it.

"Nae fear!" He cried, kicking, screaming, punching and spitting in a desperate bid for freedom. Oh, he knew how this worked. You meet a nice girl and she acts perfectly sweet, gets you into a nice room, gives you a nice warm bath and the next thing you know, they're pulling out maid outfits and calling you their waifu. Man, if he had a pound for every time that happened... he'd have two pounds, which isn't much, but it's still weird that happen twice.

With all the swearing and cursing, it was a surprise no one had cottoned on to what was going on. Surely SOMEONE had to think there was something fishy going on? Well, this is a story, so I'm allowed to say no for the sake of convenience, which means the first person to barge in on all this going down was none other than our own dear innocent swimmy girl, Lynn.

And what a sight she would have seen! Imagine that, barging into a room to see Siiga forcing a little naked girly-boy into a tub, his bum hanging out and everything. Poor girl would have been traumatized.

"Lynn! Thank god! Hold this little bastard down while I wash him, will ya!?" Yelped Siiga, deftly avoiding a boot to the chin.
"Oi, fish tits! Git yon creep aff me!" Was Bonnie's response.
Will this have numeric mechanics, or be freeform in nature?

I wasn't planning on having numbers - stifles freedom that way.
Around 3100 BC, Ancient Egypt was unified when Lower Egypt conquered the south, beginning the Early Dynastic Period of Egyptian history. But what happened before that?

Players will lead their own pre-dynastic tribe, each with their own God. It is up to you to align yourself with like-minded tribes and battle against your enemies. What kind of tribe will you lead? Will you fight for the fertile but limited Nile, or will you find your place in the desert? Will you come from Lower Egypt? Upper Egypt? Nubia? Palestine? What kind of God will you worship, and what sacrifices will you make to retain your independence? And ultimately, who will become the one true Pharaoh of Egypt?

Please let me know if any of this grabs your attention, or if you have further questions!
That I remember. But since everyone's decided to take it up in democracy, I'll put off on that. But if I do the approach to Discord will be as I do for Precipice of War: you post in IC first, and you get a link. Anyone who doesn't post doesn't get to join the secret club.

That sounds absolutely grand.
Remember before discord, and the threads were absolutely huuuuge?


There was a stranger in his midst.

His fingers gripped the cold, rusted steel of the dagger. As he shifted position, the thrum of power burst through him, shielding him from potential assault. Not that he was expecting the woman to attack him, but it never hurt to be careful.

"Easy, girl, easy," the woman put her hands up in an attempt to placate him. She was frightened. Good. That meant she wouldn't try anything. Evidently he slipped aboard the wrong cart, and found himself in the hands of some kind of lesbian trio. Not a bad choice considering the other options.

"Wha are ye!? Whit d'ye want!?"

"I could ask you the same thing," the girl put her hands on her hips. "After all, you're the one who's asleep in our cart."

Bonnie's grip tightened hard enough to make the skin go white. If she reported him to the guard, that meant meant fines he couldn't pay, that meant prison, that meant being stuck in a tight spot surrounded by people twice his height and quadruple his mass. What choice did he have?

"I'm nae in trouble, am ah, Miss?" Bonnie fluttered his eyelashes, but never dropped out of his defensive stance. If she would only relax a little! Maybe he could get past her, just for a moment, he was sure he could outrun her. No way could she move as fast as him with that heavy jacket on her shoulders.

The ruse seemed to work, and the woman's expression softened. "It's okay, Sweetie, you've got nothing to worry about," she sighed. "Just put the knife down, and we can talk about this."

Bonnie had no intention of letting go of his weapon. Battered and old though it was, it was the only thing keeping him safe at this point. If he let go of that, he might as well scream "here I am, alone and vulnerable, at the whims of whoever may take me!". The woman saw the resolve in his eyes, and her face hardened.

"I can't let you out if you're going to stab me, sweetie. Put the knife down."

"Ah cannae dae that, Miss. Ye ken ah cannae."

The woman sighed. Very well, it seemed to say, we'll do this the hard way. Suddenly, there was a crack and a smell like burning cordite, like when you let off a firework in a small garden, and a flame blossomed in the girls hands. Quickly, Bonnie thrust his free hand out. But the woman wasn't throwing a fireball at him. Instead, the fire seemed to solidify and harden in her hands, changing and forming into a long, sharp beam. A few seconds later, and it had cooled into a deadly spear, black and glistening like glass at midnight.

"Will you come out now?" The girl smiled, sweet as honey, while pointing ten foot of obsidian at the poor boy's chest.

Bonnie was stubborn, but he wasn't thick. He knew when he was beat. A spear like could gut him before he got anywhere near her. Bitterly, he dropped the knife.

"Good girl. Come on, out you come."

His heart was in his throat as he took a tentative step towards her. Was this it? Had he done so far and fought so hard, just to end up enslaved by... Whoever this was? It was hardly bearable to even think about. His bare foot slipped out of the cart and onto the grass, under the watchful eye of his captor. Once he was bathed in sunlight, however, the woman gasped.

"Oh my god..." Bonnie looked utterly skeletal. His clothes had long since come away threadbare, and he'd covered the gaps with long strips of bandage-like cloth. His ribs poked through his chest hideously and his legs trembled under even his tiny weight; Siiga didn't doubt for a second that if he was to carry anything heavier they would snap like the twigs they resembled. What wasn't white as snow was a bruised purple, mostly up his arms and his chest. Even the blue of his wings and his horns looked dull. If it wasn't for the fire burning passionately in his eyes, Siiga would have sworn that she was looking at a corpse come back to life somehow. And yet, despite his starved, broken appearance, he retained some degree of cuteness. Maybe it was how fragile he looked, or the short white mess on his head that looked more like feathers than hair, or the full lips and big, bright eyes. Maybe it was the combination of it all together. Who knew?

"You got a name, sweetheart?" She asked. Even Bonnie was shocked by her sincerity.

"Bonnie... Ma... Ma name is Bonnie..."

Bonnie. What a sweet name. A sweet name, for a sweet little girl. "You got a home, Bonnie? A family?"

She suspected the answer before he said it. "No..."

Poor thing. All alone in the world, no one to look after him, no one to care about him. Siiga felt her heart clench just looking at the poor thing. "Well, for what it's worth, I'm Siiga. I'm going to be looking after you from now on, okay? Let's get you something proper to eat, and then you can tell me why you were hiding in the back of the cart."

Something to eat... Bonnie felt like he hadn't eaten in days. Desperate as he was to run away, he needed the food. And yet, as Siiga took his hand and brought him close to her side, he couldn't help but feel like he'd made a huge mistake not fleeing when he could...
@Dinh AaronMk Was typing on my phone. No doubt Autocorrect stuck it's big unwanted nose in >_<

Just a claim for now, however I'll be working on my CS for a while

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