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BirdboyI know I know. I'm too cryptic and hide things without realizing I do I'm sorry!
Though for limiting the Pressure again that one I sorta did when I mentioned it above to only touch, I just didn't realize I hadn't mentioned it, so I'm gonna hope that's good enough cause unless you have a better idea, it fits Stephen's profile for physical fighting, and also it wouldn't be an instantaneous thing either so yeah. Again if the people that this are okay with my clarifications let me know and let me know what you'd still like to see changed and suggestions to help me think on it more, though don't always expect it to be your changes it's just your ideas help me think more to improve it in my own way to keep it my character.
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5 yrs ago
Current
Time sure does fly...
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10 yrs ago
Oi...Life...
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10 yrs ago
Starting a news emester of college, taking a little bit to get used to the schedule, Don't smite me!
11 yrs ago
Finals week...Nuff said...
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InfernoBlaze said
I had trouble adjusting Red's ability too Ciphra, but the Allen and the other GM's were helpful enough to guide me. I think that, as long as you focus on their directions, you will come in a conclusion that you will like and will also be acceptable by the bosses. It worked out for me, so why not for you? :D
Fair enough, but I would like to explain things better so it won't seem worse than it is like it apparently does lol. Though if they still don't like it now that I've tried to explain it better that's fine, though I would ask that the The people that decide on this PM what they'd liked to see change so it's easier for me to know who I actually have to satisfy about this, plus it makes it easier for me to find if other people post (Again I am actually partially blind) So that would be greatly appreciated!
I know, just for some of what they're saying I feel like it was my fault for not being detailed enough, like the fact that the air he controls has to manifested/harvested from like a 3 yard radius around him unless he's doing a full form attack which is more like 7 yards but takes a lot more out of him, and then also kinda just like I was saying earlier when I pointed out how some of what people concerns on 'Light headed' Could actually mean death for him. I want to see what people say now that I've tried to explain it a little better first before I start making revisions. Also for the pressure one for having to physically be touching the target area which is limited to a 2-3 yard diameter for manipulation. And the majority of his finesse attacks involve short small bursts of wind to manuever him and also to slightly damage an opponent more. I think since I kind of just gave people the broad picture that's why they find it over the top so again just kinda wanna see what people think now that I've explained it better ont he page before and even more here.
Edit: Not page before, meant top of the page -_-
Edit: Not page before, meant top of the page -_-
Hey Jazzy just for you I'll make my next character really simple and a beginner so that it's a lot easier :p (Not that I wasn't already planning on that :p) I just like to get the difficult ones out of the way first ^_^
I'll just address everyone at once. For one that wording for Jazzy's concern was my fault actually. It's really just him using overwhelming force to the point that in begins to damage the body and then things begin to break and what not under the force, not pressure my bad on that one. And actually it does state that these things do take a lot out of him for whoever said it should, if not I accidentally put the wrong draft in, but I'm pretty sure it does. As for moving himself around that wouldn't take much out of him it would just take concentration and skill. As for air pressure that one was supposed to say physical touch to damage a target with it, and if over used might even kill him. And to further clarify for you Jazzy it's like constantly being pushed harder and harder into something, eventually your body would give under the strain and break and you'd end up dieing. And as for potential for abuse, you're right I don't see it because I planned on using it for the finesse part mostly so I didn't even notice, and to stress the issue since I feel like no one seemed to read the whole thing or I put the wrong version up, yes it does take a lot out of him, and the fact that it could easily kill him from too much use makes it extremely high risk to the point that using it is too dangerous and why hes saves it for a burst to kill people which puts him in minor risk but to get them to that point without using too much energy is extremely difficult. Maybe it would be too much for someone else, or if a character would use it differently, but the fact that he doesn't kinda nullifies that...Just saying cause at that point if it's used a way the character wouldn't use it in then it's either meta gaming or god modding or something which would disqualify myself from this RP anyway. IF I didn't cover any concerns let me know, because I made sure with the GM before I posted it whether or not he was alright with it.
Okay Stephen is finally completed!
Yay I'm not alone! Btw can I get your opinion on what I got done so far. Finishing up details for the powers then I'll finish up the personality, but I'd like to know what you think so far.
Jazzy said
Alright, Ciphra, Allen asked me to break down your character sheet. I wont decline or accept your character, as Allen wants to go into detail about your power himself (whether in public or via PMs I do not know), but I'll give some pointers on your character from what I can see.Your appearance is lacking heavily. I would recommend reviewing some of the sheets made by Allen or Shade as they usually cover just about every aspect for physical appearance, from head shape to scars and everything in between. Personally, these two are my standard when making a human character. Your personality section is also lacking in that your character doesn't seem like a very open person, and a very two dimensional character that is more interested in himself than anything else. I get that he seeks friends and all that, but if he is hesitant to interact with everyone what incentive do other characters to talk to him. I fear for your sake that your character will be left behind due to this roleplay being so heavy on character interaction.I also feel like you're trying a bit hard here, with being blind, and having amnesia. I doubt you really have the experience required to play such a part due to the mental complications that amnesia can create later on (depression, bipolar disorder, etc). If you really want to go that route, then by all means. But I usually recommend steering clear of mental disability as they tend to be hard to translate to writing if you do have experience with the subject, and are even harder to even do in a remotely accurate fashion if you haven't experienced the condition yourself.Oh, and we already have a character named Chris. This one's optional, but I would recommend changing it to avoid confusion in the future.With that, I'll let Allen make the final verdict.
Alright. Thanks for the impute. I know I lack a lot at personality. I'm not good at writing it out, just actually showing it in the writing itself so I'll try and work on that because he's a lot more complex than that seems to make him, and same with appearance, I just struggle a lot in that area. As for the Blind part I'm actually partially blind myself and thought it would be cool to incorporate that into a character and as for the amnesia I had a friend that went through that so I sorta get it, but you're probably right so I'll probably get rid of that. Lastly I'll make some changes now but some will have to wait since I'm a full time college student I have a lot of stuff to do so I don't know if I can get to it all at once.
Name: Stephen Avarian
Nickname/Alias/Etc:
Gender: Male
Age: Nineteen
Height: 5'7
Weight: 145 lbs
Status: Returning Student
Appearance
Hair Color: Light Brown
Eye Color: A base color of gray mixed with a light blue and green
Ethnicity: White, but a tanned white.
Physical Appearance: Stephen isn't necessarily attractive in the sense of the word, though he has one of those bad boy or confident looks that actually works for him making him attractive in his own way, and for this he mostly credits his own hair cause he wouldn't good without having his straight hair which covers his eyes and runs down most of his neck and covering his ears, which are slightly smaller than normal. His hair on the other hand hides his eyes which are actually his most appealing feature. While small his eyes almost glow vibrantly from the blue and green affects mixed into the gray, though they don't actually glow that's just an illusion they give. As for his body Stephen is mildly muscled not exactly from working out a lot though he does work out a little, but from always fighting. His skin is a semi tanned except for the areas in which he has burn scars which is scattered on his chest and a more heavy concentration on his right shoulder. Along with the burn marks Stephen has a tattoo on his lower left back. The tattoo is an outline of a butterfly the wings having an intricate design inside the wings an a cross as the body. He got this shortly after his fiance died to remember what she represented to him.
Attire: The one constant thing Stephen will always wear that will never change is a bracelet with a charm of a silver raven dangling from it by a chain about two and a half inches long which he'd given to his sister shortly before she died. As for what he normally wears for clothing that is a lot simpler. Being from a normal family he never got fancy things, and now that he's on his own he really can't afford anything until he regains connection and starts doing his less than stellar deeds to earn cash. So Stephen just wears black cargo pants all the time, this is what he prefers because the pockets give him room to put things in, and they're lighter than jeans. As for his shirt he goes with simple t-shirts which vary from time to time, but over that he normally has a button up black shirt that is never actually buttoned up so that the wind can blow it around along with his hair. This along with his hair and bracelet can make him appear overly dramatic with the way he fights, but with his effectiveness in combat it's well earned. It should also be noted that Stephen also likes to wear black fingerless gloves.
Personality
Outward & Innate Personality: Outwardly Stephen is quite friendly towards others at first, but after that first encounter is where things begin to vary. If he dislikes or hates someone it's normally clear unless it's for a reason he won't talk about, though if it's one of those he's likely to attack that person and even try to eliminate them permanently whether that involves killing them or permanently harming them, though he only tells people what sets this off if he truly wants to be around that person. As for neutral people they tend to get the same thing the first time they met. These are just people he talks to every now and then an occasionally hang out with. Lastly though you have people he cares about. Note there isn't really a friendship area. He either considers you family or your just someone to entertain him, and lastly someone who is dead to him. The people he cares about though he would do just about anything for them. Whether it's helping them with work, or killing someone. He'll support them emotionally and help them just by listening and talking with them. These people are his family now. Also while he's not fully over the death of his fiance he is looking for a new girl to be in his life though he's unsure whether he will find another girl out there for him, which is one of the only self doubts he has. On the inside it's difficult to describe Stephen. Simply he wants to help people by doing all the wrong thing.
Hobbies/Interests: Stephen enjoys playing the piano and the violin. He also enjoys spending time on the beach just listening to the water. To top it off he likes to do illegal things though currently has lost all connections in this area and hopes to seek out others at the school to reconnect to the world he loves most.
Skills/Talents: His skills and talents mostly revolve around his hobbies, the piano and violin, along with fighting, but also if you're on his good side Stephen is a good listener and secretly enjoys helping people.
Prized Possession: A bracelet with a chain that dangles from it with a silver raven charm that at one point he'd given to his sister.
Quote(s): "You're lack of control is pitiful..."
"To see as I do, is to see everything, and yet nothing..."
History/Bio: You'll just have to try and pry it from him...
Family:
Parents: Alicia and Noland Avarian - Deceased
Sisters: Emerald and Sharon - both younger - both deceased
Fiance: Olivia Spencer - Deceased
Relationships:
[Anyone an everyone]: Do I actually care about you? And if not, how can I use you to benefit me best...? Though if I do care about you I won't let anything happen to you...
Abilities
Power Class: Energy 6
Power: Heat, also known as thermal energy...Stephens body is capable of exerting heat from his body to engulf decent sized areas, though he cannot manipulate it after it leaves his body. The side affects of being within this area will include seeing mirage affect on Stephen making it harder to hit him and fight him in general, and to top it off tires the victims in the field from the heat slowly exhausting them. Physically his body heats up to where he would burn what ever he touches, though this tends to take time and will burn off whatever he's wearing in the specific area he heats up, and if holding on to things or focusing the heat into a specific spot or area of his body can melt through things, though this would take more energy and boost his metabolism further, but also his body continues to heat up slowly eventually making it hard to stand near like a growing fire. As for how this blind guy might see? Heat signatures! Stephen is able to see everything as heat. Thus since everything has some form of heat level or an intense coolness that would make it black to his vision, he is able to see everything around him this way through sense all of the heat or lack of around him.
Weaknesses: As for his weaknesses! Stephen's area of effect is also a double edged sword. The more he heats things up in the surrounding area the harder it gets for him to see, so going too far will effectively blind him.
Other: Due to his abilities his metabolism is a lot higher than others so he requires more food and water than average people and is required if he wants to maintain his health. If he ignores it too long his body would quickly shut down and he would die. Thus this nice little other section could actually also be up above for a weakness!
Nickname/Alias/Etc:
Gender: Male
Age: Nineteen
Height: 5'7
Weight: 145 lbs
Status: Returning Student
Appearance
Hair Color: Light Brown
Eye Color: A base color of gray mixed with a light blue and green
Ethnicity: White, but a tanned white.
Physical Appearance: Stephen isn't necessarily attractive in the sense of the word, though he has one of those bad boy or confident looks that actually works for him making him attractive in his own way, and for this he mostly credits his own hair cause he wouldn't good without having his straight hair which covers his eyes and runs down most of his neck and covering his ears, which are slightly smaller than normal. His hair on the other hand hides his eyes which are actually his most appealing feature. While small his eyes almost glow vibrantly from the blue and green affects mixed into the gray, though they don't actually glow that's just an illusion they give. As for his body Stephen is mildly muscled not exactly from working out a lot though he does work out a little, but from always fighting. His skin is a semi tanned except for the areas in which he has burn scars which is scattered on his chest and a more heavy concentration on his right shoulder. Along with the burn marks Stephen has a tattoo on his lower left back. The tattoo is an outline of a butterfly the wings having an intricate design inside the wings an a cross as the body. He got this shortly after his fiance died to remember what she represented to him.
Attire: The one constant thing Stephen will always wear that will never change is a bracelet with a charm of a silver raven dangling from it by a chain about two and a half inches long which he'd given to his sister shortly before she died. As for what he normally wears for clothing that is a lot simpler. Being from a normal family he never got fancy things, and now that he's on his own he really can't afford anything until he regains connection and starts doing his less than stellar deeds to earn cash. So Stephen just wears black cargo pants all the time, this is what he prefers because the pockets give him room to put things in, and they're lighter than jeans. As for his shirt he goes with simple t-shirts which vary from time to time, but over that he normally has a button up black shirt that is never actually buttoned up so that the wind can blow it around along with his hair. This along with his hair and bracelet can make him appear overly dramatic with the way he fights, but with his effectiveness in combat it's well earned. It should also be noted that Stephen also likes to wear black fingerless gloves.
Personality
Outward & Innate Personality: Outwardly Stephen is quite friendly towards others at first, but after that first encounter is where things begin to vary. If he dislikes or hates someone it's normally clear unless it's for a reason he won't talk about, though if it's one of those he's likely to attack that person and even try to eliminate them permanently whether that involves killing them or permanently harming them, though he only tells people what sets this off if he truly wants to be around that person. As for neutral people they tend to get the same thing the first time they met. These are just people he talks to every now and then an occasionally hang out with. Lastly though you have people he cares about. Note there isn't really a friendship area. He either considers you family or your just someone to entertain him, and lastly someone who is dead to him. The people he cares about though he would do just about anything for them. Whether it's helping them with work, or killing someone. He'll support them emotionally and help them just by listening and talking with them. These people are his family now. Also while he's not fully over the death of his fiance he is looking for a new girl to be in his life though he's unsure whether he will find another girl out there for him, which is one of the only self doubts he has. On the inside it's difficult to describe Stephen. Simply he wants to help people by doing all the wrong thing.
Hobbies/Interests: Stephen enjoys playing the piano and the violin. He also enjoys spending time on the beach just listening to the water. To top it off he likes to do illegal things though currently has lost all connections in this area and hopes to seek out others at the school to reconnect to the world he loves most.
Skills/Talents: His skills and talents mostly revolve around his hobbies, the piano and violin, along with fighting, but also if you're on his good side Stephen is a good listener and secretly enjoys helping people.
Prized Possession: A bracelet with a chain that dangles from it with a silver raven charm that at one point he'd given to his sister.
Quote(s): "You're lack of control is pitiful..."
"To see as I do, is to see everything, and yet nothing..."
History/Bio: You'll just have to try and pry it from him...
Family:
Parents: Alicia and Noland Avarian - Deceased
Sisters: Emerald and Sharon - both younger - both deceased
Fiance: Olivia Spencer - Deceased
Relationships:
[Anyone an everyone]: Do I actually care about you? And if not, how can I use you to benefit me best...? Though if I do care about you I won't let anything happen to you...
Abilities
Power Class: Energy 6
Power: Heat, also known as thermal energy...Stephens body is capable of exerting heat from his body to engulf decent sized areas, though he cannot manipulate it after it leaves his body. The side affects of being within this area will include seeing mirage affect on Stephen making it harder to hit him and fight him in general, and to top it off tires the victims in the field from the heat slowly exhausting them. Physically his body heats up to where he would burn what ever he touches, though this tends to take time and will burn off whatever he's wearing in the specific area he heats up, and if holding on to things or focusing the heat into a specific spot or area of his body can melt through things, though this would take more energy and boost his metabolism further, but also his body continues to heat up slowly eventually making it hard to stand near like a growing fire. As for how this blind guy might see? Heat signatures! Stephen is able to see everything as heat. Thus since everything has some form of heat level or an intense coolness that would make it black to his vision, he is able to see everything around him this way through sense all of the heat or lack of around him.
Weaknesses: As for his weaknesses! Stephen's area of effect is also a double edged sword. The more he heats things up in the surrounding area the harder it gets for him to see, so going too far will effectively blind him.
Other: Due to his abilities his metabolism is a lot higher than others so he requires more food and water than average people and is required if he wants to maintain his health. If he ignores it too long his body would quickly shut down and he would die. Thus this nice little other section could actually also be up above for a weakness!
Well I guess since Cody won't be dealing with the ground team now that he's gonna try and find that Al'Kesh I can get his post up sometime soon, hopefully tonight after I'm done with classes and homework. If not I'll shoot for a day or two. I gotta admit I was hoping college would be easier on my schedule...
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