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I'd be down for a restart.
(it's not magic I promise)
The Director slammed his fist on the desk, spilling his coffee. "Goddamn it, Kettlebrick! You were supposed to detain the girl, not fucking impale her!" he yelled into Kettlebrick's earpiece. The girl was a lawsuit waiting to happen. They couldn't televise a 14 year old girl being ravaged before an international audience. Nathan probably cost them several million dollars in damages with his senseless head bashing incident alone. American Gladiators 2 was currently the most watched television show in the world. The price of keeping an entire Roman simulation complete with unaware citizens running was immense, but the profits were even more astounding. And now Kettlebrick was fucking up everything for everyone in the world to see.
Meanwhile, Kettlebrick tumbled slightly from Nathan's surprise kick, but his middle aged instincts kicked in. He rolled out of the fall, somersaulted through the air, and came down trident first on one of Falco's guards. Scratching his ass, he continued to ignore the Director's cries of frustration. "If you will not listen to reason, perhaps a bit of murder will open up your ears."
The Director slammed his fist on the desk, spilling his coffee. "Goddamn it, Kettlebrick! You were supposed to detain the girl, not fucking impale her!" he yelled into Kettlebrick's earpiece. The girl was a lawsuit waiting to happen. They couldn't televise a 14 year old girl being ravaged before an international audience. Nathan probably cost them several million dollars in damages with his senseless head bashing incident alone. American Gladiators 2 was currently the most watched television show in the world. The price of keeping an entire Roman simulation complete with unaware citizens running was immense, but the profits were even more astounding. And now Kettlebrick was fucking up everything for everyone in the world to see.
Meanwhile, Kettlebrick tumbled slightly from Nathan's surprise kick, but his middle aged instincts kicked in. He rolled out of the fall, somersaulted through the air, and came down trident first on one of Falco's guards. Scratching his ass, he continued to ignore the Director's cries of frustration. "If you will not listen to reason, perhaps a bit of murder will open up your ears."
Kettlebrick turned to admire his new entourage. He scratched his ass in frustration. "Boys, I don't think you understand the situation near as well as you think you do. This is no young fawn here." He waved his hand, and the trident returned to his grasp. He pointed it as Nolita. "I'm afraid we have no choice but to finish her off. You have no reason to be suspicious of a guy like me," continued Kettlebrick as he radiated a suspicious black aura.
Kettlebrick turned abruptly at the sound of a screaming loli. It seemed the girl had finally put the pieces together. His jigging was up. As Nolita turned to run, he knew it was now or never. Kettlebrick closed his eyes, began to hum, and focused his chakra. The dark energies around him began to materialize, and took the form of a sinister trident: Kinderschader. With a mighty heave, Kinderschader hummed through the air with an ominous aura. The trident found its mark and pinned the little girl to the wall of the Colosseum. Kettlebrick scratched his ass and let loose a mighty roar of laughter. "It is seem little girl is not have last laugh now, is it not?" laughed Kettlebrick as he approached the fallen loli.
With the the training seemingly over for the day, Kettlebrick walked to nearest temple and prayed to patron god. The statue of Priapus dangled before him in all his splendor. Kettlebrick scratched his ass and carefully caressed the deity's nobby bits while praying for guidance. The temple smelled faintly of orange juice. In the gardens outside, the flora turned cold and withered. He smiled.
Kettlebrick returned to the training room and thoroughly examined his fellow gladiators. Nathan, the man with ridiculous leather armor, seemed to contain remarkable angst within him. His determination to always come out on top, no matter how sensibly bankrupt the situation got, was something to watch out for. He interrupted the conversation he was having with Okeano.
"Is Greek girl offer services freely? Then Gangral is require new sword! And perhaps dinner tonight! And maybe the other services, if Greek girl getting the drifting of Gangral." Kettlebrick made seductive eyebrows at Okeano because he knew that she knew that she was getting the drifting of Gangral.
Kettlebrick returned to the training room and thoroughly examined his fellow gladiators. Nathan, the man with ridiculous leather armor, seemed to contain remarkable angst within him. His determination to always come out on top, no matter how sensibly bankrupt the situation got, was something to watch out for. He interrupted the conversation he was having with Okeano.
"Is Greek girl offer services freely? Then Gangral is require new sword! And perhaps dinner tonight! And maybe the other services, if Greek girl getting the drifting of Gangral." Kettlebrick made seductive eyebrows at Okeano because he knew that she knew that she was getting the drifting of Gangral.
Maybe you're already dead and everything has always existed except for you?
How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real?
How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real?
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