Earnest Evans Member

Cuban Pete decided to skip the formalities of exploring this dungeon, unaware that such a thing had already happened. Arming the short-range mining lasers, Pete's pod carved a nice hole in the ceiling of the fortress and flew in. Now suspended a good several yards above the arena, Cuban Pete managed to get a good look at what he would be facing: one moderately-armed hostile and the group of gullible chumps he had seen besieging this guy's castle. With a heat in his heart and a spring in his step, he hopped over to the ChemDispenser. In one bottle, he mixed 7 cc's each of Ethanol, Water, and Sugar, and 21 cc's of Chlorine. The bottle bubbled ominously, creating an ominous-smelling bottle of Chloral Hydrate (and 7 cc's of liquid Sugar). In another bottle, he placed 7 cc's each of Potassium and Phosphorous. The solution on its own would do nothing, but would release a significant amount of smoke if mixed with Sugar. Cuban Pete carefully placed both the bottles far away from each other on the counter. An accidental mixing at this time would be catastrophic. Cuban Pete, his heart beating faster and faster, paced over to a small table next to the kitchen. On it was a simple Timer/Igniter Assembly slapped on a small metal canister, the very beginning of a grenade. Setting the Timer to a rather generous 5 seconds, he took it over to the ChemDispenser's counter. He gingerly placed both bottles inside the canister. When the Timer/Igniter was activated, it would destroy both bottles, causing an immediate chemical reaction. Then, all he would need was for his target to breathe in... and the day would be Cuban Pete's! Laughing maniacally (given his mute status, this mostly involved him juddering wildly while wheezing), he opened the door to his escape pod. Taking a Tracking Beacon from the workbench, he threw it out of the pod, where it clattered against the hard floor of the tower. His master plan was almost complete. Now, he just needed for that group down below to be distracted...

Aww, Rawk! You were actually really special with your previous character. Now, you're just a generic "covering all the bases" hero! You've stripped out one of the most important defining traits your character had to make your character even less fallible!

Better yet, see how our powers work against whatever's in Uzumaki.

Cuban Pete had stayed in the doorway to the escape pod, attempting to relieve himself of much of the shock of such a place. Unfortunately, it availed him not at all. Instead, Cuban Pete nearly fainted, falling out of the pod face-first. Every action this band of colorful lunatics took drove Cuban Pete's worldview spiraling away; truly, this was not Space Station 13. When he got up, he noted the way every other person was doing their damnedest to get into that gigantic fortress just a few yards away. *Well,* he thought, *if it's anything like an away mission, there's going to be a whole treasure trove of goodies... and a gateway home. Best to get going, then. Too bad I don't have a way to flyyyyy... yes, I do!* Grinning vacantly, he sidled back into the escape pod and started it up. Disengaging the landing gears with a loud **thunk**, the pod took off and hovered lazily above the ground. Somehow, by randomly pressing buttons, Cuban Pete controlled the pod as if it was an extension of his own body. Unfortunately, the pod could only move in straight lines. Fortunately, it could turn on a time. After a short series of overshootings and corrections, Cuban Pete and his pod managed to situate themselves just above the fortress. *Alright,* he thought, *Now how do I get inside?*

Plus, > > if Ancalagon's out Gothmog's the next viable option, who we all know for certain to be a real threat. > > FTFY, Sauron doesn't do shit in the first age. > > Ungoliant would also be really cool. We could fight her brood of spiders and probably also orcs seeing as she's a corrupt Maia like Sauron is- and one tough enough (after she consumes the Two Trees) to give Melkor himself a run for his money. Also after the Balors drive her off she's never heard from again, do you get a lot more creative freedom there. As a bonus we might even get to ally with Melkor's Balor Spec Ops killsquad against a common foe if we play our cards right which would be pretty sweet. Plus, there's all the fun of fighting a giant spider that *steals light to make webs.*

Cuban Pete tested the floor with one boot. Since he was not laying flat on his back, Cuban Pete was satisfied that the Space Lube had dried. He waved his hand towards the door, hoping that Rattlesnake Jack had had beyond his fill of alcohol. When Rattlesnake Jack will leave, Cuban Pete will follow him.

Cuban Pete developed a little smile. He returned to the kitchen and made another pair of tankards. Again he handed Rattlesnake Jack a tankard. Again he messily quaffed the whole tankard. Again he looked at Jack strangely expectantly.

Cuban Pete could not respond, but shook Rattlesnake Jack's hand regardless. He put his tankard to his lips, tipped it over, and made deep gulping noises. Streams of fine ale poured down, staining his clown suit.

Cuban Pete nodded, and handed one over. Clearly, Pete was breaking bread with Rattlesnake Jack, and had no sinister motives whatsoever! Cuban Pete pointed at the still-wet floor and held up his hands. One hand was held horizontally, the other was connected to the other hand by two fingers, almost like a human standing on a floor. He pantomimed the "human" walking across the "floor", before violently collapsing.

Cuban Pete took another glass from the cupboard. He tilted the bottle of space beer vaguely over both of the glasses, somehow filling them a sixth of the way. He then repeated the motion. Taking a swig from the bottle of beer, he set it on the counter and did the same using the Ale, only **four** times. As if by magic, both glasses turned into old-fashioned barrel-shaped tankards with a rushing, bubbling sound. Cuban Pete picked up both glasses and moved to Rattlesnake Jack, but noticed his predicament. Freeing up one hand, he knelt down and lightly shook Rattlesnake Jack's shoulder. Instantaneously, Rattlesnake Jack was back up and standing. In this pod, for some reason, the laws of physics didn't take the same hold it had in any other place.