Earnest Evans

Massive Multiversal Crossover

Hampus the Red snapped out of his stress-induced stupor, and dumbly nodded at Clifford. Stumbling to his feet, Hampus headed back to the warehouse. With each step, he regained some consciousness and, with it, some of his personality. He knew deep inside that failure to obey orders would result in some punishment, but his wizardly instincts told him that this did not matter. By the time he and Clifford had entered the facility, Hampus was back to his old safe. Striding down the stairway, Hampus brusquely stepped into the main hallway and looked at the small assortment of idle soldiers there. Turning to David Leatherhoff, he snapped, "You, there! What are you doing?" David Leatherhoff, recognizing a VIP by their complete inability to dress sensibly, remained courteous yet authoritative. "Current status is waiting for further developments, sir. SOP is to wait for each soldier to clear their rooms before regrouping and continuing. Considering current intel, I would suggest rendezvousing with Private Mcdonalds. He should be through the door just over there." David pointed to a door that had been rather clumsily busted open in the furthest rightmost corner of the room. Hampus headed through the doorway just as Arby's Mcdonalds busted down the Chief of Security's door and ran through. Inside was nothing but an array of monitors, a nice mahogany desk, and a pleather office chair. Arby's, immensely disappointed by the lack of guns, porn, and beer in the room, headed back to the main hallway in disgust, leaving Hampus and Clifford to their own devices.

Massive Multiversal Crossover

"A peasant with a house... he'd have straw or scrap wood, I'd imagine." Guts said, trying to remember any slums he'd seen. "And resurrection? Resurrection is impossible, plain and simple. If it were, I imagine I'd have heard a rumor by this point." "And trolls..." Guts said, remembering the time he'd had to fight a large bunch. They were nasty beats. "They're these big, hairy guys with oversized noses that smell like garbage, feces, and smegma. Use simple weapons, like cudgels and spears. They attack in packs, and kidnap and rape women to breed. I can't remember what they eat. Mostly meat, I guess." Guts shrugged. At least they were fun to cut loose with.

@IncredibleBee

Bernd, surprisingly enough, was not horribly shaken by what he heard of Guts' world's trolls. His stay in that creepy old rural town deep in the Black Forest certainly contributed to Bernd's jaded nature, and his tour of duty in Shadow Eternity had contributed even moreso. He simply nodded, and mentally calculated some general coordinates. "Alright, so I'm thinking that's... Timeline laterality Mid-Norman, fantasy literality Lovecraft, and grimdark depth... oh Christ, that's gotta be close to Forty-Kay. Alright, champ. Once Silverback over there is done with those security guards, we should be able to get you back home to whatever pile of crap and sticks you call a home. Of course, we're still looking for help. Think about it: good pay, shore leave is the best you can find across the multiverse, and you can get paid to sit on your ass all day if you befriend one of Ofdensen's boys! I can say it'd be a lot better than dealing with the Rape Je-" Bernd cleared his throat. He had to remember that, even in a world that most likely never had more than one culture or religion, political correctness was important. "Ahem, I mean... the trolls. Anyway, yeah... you'd have a lot more fun and a lot more money if you helped us out, even just for this mission!"

Massive Multiversal Crossover

I... okay, gotta remember the basic rules of alternate universes. Gotta remember that not everything inspired the Bible is 1:1 translation of all Biblical accounts. Alright, yeah. This universe's Adam was God's buddy and advisor, and Lilith was the first female human, and Eve just kinda showed up, and then stuff happened and now Adam is a Stand being hunted by his ghost wife.

Massive Multiversal Crossover

Wow, that's an interesting account of how Genesis went down. I guess Adam just kinda sat around while God made the earth and the stars and the plants, and Lilith was just... there, too. Then she killed Adam and married her own son.

Massive Multiversal Crossover

If you've got a character you want to post, remember to post it in http://www.roleplayerguild.com/topics/74771-massive-multiversal-crossover-interest-check-and-signups/ooc

Massive Multiversal Crossover

Bernd nodded sagely. The Medieval Trope Trio Test had not once failed before, and today would hopefully be no worse. "Alright, here we go. Question One: What material do you make a peasant's roof out of, and what does it look like?" The roofing question was seemingly a nonsequitur, but was vitally important to determining the exact time a certain world was stuck in. Sod or leather would logically suggest pre-medieval technology, while processed wood and stone would suggest Middle Ages to Renaissance technology. "Question Two: How can you bring someone back to life?" The resurrection question was equally as nonsensical, but exactly as important in determining the "Realism" factor. If resurrection was trivial, the world would be far above high fantasy. If resurrection was impossible, the world would be grounded in the same desert of realism as a Datum planet. "Question Three: What do trolls look like, and what do they eat?" The troll question was the most important one of all, as it determined the "grimness" of a world. Grim worlds usually had trolls of many different shapes and sizes, and happier worlds either had no trolls or singular kinds of troll. This question wasn't foolproof, but was easy enough for a medieval Roamer to understand that it wouldn't be much of a problem. "Take your time, buddy. We've got all day to plot a course back to your home."

Massive Multiversal Crossover

"Anyways, if you can't bring me to a city, just bring me to the next closest thing. At least show me a map. How am I supposed to know where I am without a map?" Guts said, eyeing the primate with his singular eyeball. Steadily, he shifted the weight of the Dragonslayer to over his shoulder, as opposed to down to the side.

@IncredibleBee

Neo-Umbrella Parking Lot

As Julius had gone off to interrogate the security guards, Private Bernd Bachmann had taken over as the diplomat assigned to Guts. Bernd, ever the diplomatic soul, completely forgoed the instructions he'd been given and decided to bluntly inform Guts of what's happening. "Alright, buddy, listen up. You aren't on your world anymore. A map isn't going to help you at all, since you're dealing with interdimensional travel. Put simply, the only thing we can do is guess where your world is, go to that, and dump you in the nearest city. Now, I'm going to ask you a few questions about your world, and your answers will help us determine where your world is. Okay?" Flint Marko nodded. This Nobles fellow was more astute than he had previously thought! "That's right, sir. They're just about ready to breach the facility, so it'd probably be best if you hurried out."

Neo-Umbrella Facility

Meanwhile, in the Neo-Umbrella lab, Squads Alpha, Gamma, and Zeta successfully breached the doors they were at. One man to a door, they carefully and methodically cleared their respective rooms. Jack Morgan's room was completely ruined, with the same characteristic bolt-wounds and greatsword-marks as the main hallway. Evidently, Guts had come through here. Jack examined one of the corpses, in the hopes of finding an employee ID. Microcline's room appeared to be a hastily-abandoned breakroom. A pair of vending machines hummed gently in the back corner, next to a still-working coffee machine. Microcline absentmindedly broke one of the tables inside, and returned to the main hallway. Sindibad Darude's room lead into yet another hallway. This one had no doors except for one at the end. Sindibad headed down the hallway, and made ready to open the door. Hu Ameye's room was lined with man-sized opaque tubes attached to life support systems. None of them appeared to be occupied, as a readout at the base of each one listed information about their occupants, most importantly that they had been recently "flushed". Hu began to examine the tubes, hopefully to find some information about the BOW's they've been fighting. Arby's Mcdonalds' room was also a hallway. A small nameplate at the door at the end of the hallway said 'Chief of Security'. Arby's informed the platoon over the radio, and made ready to breach the Chief's door. David Leatherhoff's room was hideously cold, and lined with shelves filled with plastic jars. On the jars were labels for a wide variety of chemicals, both toxic and nontoxic. Shaking his head, David turned back to the main hallway. Ollanius Pious' room appeared to be an office, judging by the rows and rows of cubicles. Searching through this room would most likely bring nothing to light. Ollanius turned back to the main hallway. Rimanahson Vilderil's room was a unisex bathroom. It appears that a scientist had hidden himself inside, and killed himself as soon as he heard the team approaching. Rimanahson searched the man's pockets, hoping to find something useful.

Return to the Multiverse

Pete said, felt, heard, and did nothing. The universe opened up to him like a colossal squid unveiling its jaws. Stars flew by him, but did not represent any known formations or constellations. In fact, they seemed to be a repeating pattern of the exact same formation, twinkling gently. Every five seconds, the same stars twinkled. Every movement he made, he saw more of the same stars. This wasn't space, it was Spess, and Pete was a Spessman. With unnerving steadiness, Pete walked back to his pod. He headed back to the engine room, and stared at the engine. It stung at his eyes, but he no longer worried about it. There were doors to the north, east, west, and south; Pete headed through the westmost door. Blinking away afterimages of the engine, Pete found himself in the ship's cargo bay. Pete looked to the Quartermaster's Console, and knew what he had to do.

Massive Multiversal Crossover

That's a Mexican standoff? It's more a mutual agreement not to kill each other in exchange for free passage!

Massive Multiversal Crossover

How much have I missed in Siberia?

@CourierSix

The entire defense force on the surface has been neutralized, those who surrendered are now being recruited, apparently there's generic T-Virus zombies in your main facility, and nine SE commandos are in the main entrance to the labs proper.

@Earnest Evans

You forgot about the Mexican Standoff.

@IncredibleBee

Between whom?