Avatar of El Taco Taco
  • Last Seen: 27 days ago
  • Old Guild Username: El Taco Taco
  • Joined: 12 yrs ago
  • Posts: 1221 (0.27 / day)
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    1. El Taco Taco 12 yrs ago
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Status

Recent Statuses

8 yrs ago
Current 'I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can't fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it "sir" because it would be the dominant species on the planet.'
7 likes
8 yrs ago
'There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster impersonating a human. Monstralization, maybe?'
2 likes
8 yrs ago
'If Zoey Ashe had known she was being stalked by a man who intended to kill her and then slowly eat her bones, she would've worried more about that and less about getting her cat off the roof.'
1 like
9 yrs ago
"And watch out for Molly. See if she does anything unusual. There’s something I don’t trust about the way she exploded and then came back from the dead like that."
7 likes
9 yrs ago
"We're talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely?"
2 likes

Bio


"OK, I've just about had my FILL of riddle-asking, quest-assigning, insult-throwing, pun-hurling, hostage-taking, iron-mongering, smart-arsed fools, freaks, and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence, and most of all, patience! If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that even the denizens of the nine hells themselves wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!" - CHARNAME, Baldur's Gate


Most Recent Posts

A lot of my games have fizzled. Hip bump!

Black Widow added to the first post, because fuck yeah.
BAM WOOSH OK
FINALLY GOT US TO THE SORTING

I checked my notes and I have it as 2009 in game, so McGonagall is still head. I had Professor Sprout be Deputy Head, because she's rad and needs more love. WOOSH!

I had to drag in my Lee Jordan kid because he's a dork and fun to write. Awww yissssss
The train ride felt as though it had taken a lifetime. Sadie was nearly mad with excitement by the time it began to slow into the station. She’d changed into her uniform and school robes when the skies had gone black, positively bouncing with excitement. Sadie was certain she was being impossibly annoying, but she couldn’t help herself. Hogwarts was here!

The station was all glittering lights and a massive crowd. Sadie stared out the windows, eyes bright, before scrambling to join the throngs leaving the train. She patted her robes pocket to ensure her wand was still in place. The dogwood wand seemed to warm to her touch, as if reassuring her. Beaming, Sadie babbled as she and George exited the train.

“Firs’ years! Firs’ years over ‘ere!”

Sadie had never seen such an enormous person before. She gaped for a moment (before reminding herself that staring was rude) at a man in heavy furs and with the thickest beard she had ever witnessed. He was a redfaced man, beaming wide, and Sadie instinctively liked him. Grinning to George, she followed the crowd of short students gathering around the giant of a man.

“Alrigh’ everyone? I’m Professor Hagrid, I’ll be takin’ ye to the castle. Ready to go? Follow me!”

“Wow,” she breathed. The group struggled to keep pace with Professor Hagrid’s long pace, winding down the streets. The walk was quick, which Sadie was rather grateful for, with the chilly September air biting through her robes. She gasped loudly as they reached a large, shimmering lake. Several stately boats sat at the water’s edge.

Sadie and George ended up in a boat with a chatty boy named Seine with long dreadlocks and a pale girl who looked rather displeased by their mode of transport. Sadie spent most of the trip leaned over the edge, looking deep into the water or up at the castle.

Oh, the castle. It was better than she could have imagined, all soaring towers and ramparts and lovely. Even the quiet girl, Verdana was it?, seemed amazed by the castle and its majesty. Sadie practically ran for the castle the instant they landed, eager to see its halls. Seine said something funny, but she barely had the presence of mind to reply because Hogwarts was too lovely.

She arrived breathless, bouncing on the balls of her feet as the doors swung open. Sadie was pleased to be the first of the students after Professor Hagrid to enter the school. A warm looking witch with kind eyes and curly grey hair greeted them,

“Welcome to Hogwarts, dears. The start of term banquet will begin soon, but first, we need to sort you. Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be your family within the castle. You will have classes with your housemates, sleep in your house dormitory, and spend free time in your common room. The four houses are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history and each has numerous famous witches and wizards to its name. Your successes will earn you house points, while any rule breaking will lose house points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the House Cup. It will be just a few moments before the ceremony is ready to begin. I’ll be back in just a few moments.”

The squat woman hurried out with a cheery wave to Hagrid, leaving the group of rambunctious eleven year olds to wait anxiously. Sadie was humming brightly, searching the small crowd for George. Verdana had left them for another dark haired girl, but Seine was grinning widely and waved her over. She complied and bounced over.

“Oooh! This so brilliant!” She enthused, clapping brightly.

“It’s awesome,” Seine agreed, before looking between them. “What house do you want? I reckon I’ll be Gryffindor like my dad.”

Sadie shrugged, rocking on her feet, straining to see everything.

“Um! I don’t know! I’ll be happy wherever, I’m just glad to finally be here!”
I like to think I'm reasonably funny! It's good to see I've successfully tricked other people into finding me clever ;D Bwehehehe.

Oh, wow! That sounds like such a rad job! Like, boo for tediousness, but super awesome that you get the experience of working in such a niche field. Hooray, learning!

I pooped out a quick post-- this sat on my tablet 90% complete for a few days because my charger broke and I had to fix it, which meant finding my soldering iron in my boxes of many things that I have yet to unpack... 3 years after moving. Oops. But yes! Finally got this up.

Feel free to have things go horribly wrong or not. Didn't want to get ahead of myself.
He wheeled on her; if she hadn’t been holding Pan, she might have run him through on instinct. He looked ready to flay her. Normally, she would have answered his snarl with a quip and an apology, but she had no time to smooth things over. The storm was worsening and every moment they stood still was another chance to die. If she was to survive—and Chamera very dearly wanted to keep living—she couldn’t do it alone. Not with her arm wounded and her voice lost.

There was another scream. Chamera flinched, all too aware of her guilt. She was leaving these men and women to die. They might be criminals (or worse, enemies of the Zhents and good people), but they didn’t deserve this. It was wrong. She wanted nothing more than to grab the keys and open every cell, but there wasn’t time. All she could do was pray and run.

“Look,” she began, but he interrupted her with assent. Chamera bit her tongue promptly. She wasn’t going to run the risk of him changing his mind. She didn’t know if she could even trust his promise. But her eyes were sharp, and there was something like hunger in his shadowed face. Magic for their lives? It was a fair trade. Pan snored into her neck, his icy breath stinging. She’d convince Pan of the bargain later, if he ever woke again. Chamera nodded.

“Deal. Let’s go,” she sheathed her blade in the holster tucked into her boot. She slipped her shoulder out from beneath Pan, rotating the joint in a quick stretch. Slipping beneath him, she rose in a smooth motion, his unconscious frame strewn across her shoulders. She’d carried many a drunken companion like this, but never across a battlefield. A hailstone dropped around two meters ahead of her, shattering into a spray of icy debris. Eyes stinging in the cold, she steeled herself and began to run. She wasn’t able to flit nearly as gracefully, but it was easier to move without Pan’s legs tripping her up.

There was no time to keep the drow in her sights. Dodging the streaming ice demanded every ounce of her attention. There was a great roar and a wave of heat. The fire in the sky had touched earth, swirling in a violent vortex in the square. People were screaming, the funnel of flames wandering towards them. Chamera dug deep for the energy to run faster, fueling her legs with terror and grit. The square gave way to ruined fields, livestock fleeing in panic, a harvest in shambles all around her. Chamera stumbled, swearing in every language she knew, the forrest just ahead. Gods be good, she might actually pull this off.
Oh! Do you mind if I timeskip us a bit? :D
Yes! I'm going to be able to post quite a bit this weekend, and I'm so looking forward to it.

Ahhh! Yes! Yay! I'm loving it too :D :D I find myself doodling characters and scribbling out ideas in the margins of my notes like, all the time. I am the worst student haha!

Ugh, I know. Midterms being over just means it's final project season... grosssss.

Haha, I secretly have like, zero confidence. I just shout about how amazing I am and trick everyone into thinking I'm hot shit. Oops! I mostly just act all kick ass and worry like crazy that I'll be found out for a fraud. 0/10 would not recommend.

I'm studying Geology! :D I graduate in Spring, which is just crazy and terrifying and awesome. No idea what I'll do with it atm, but I'm sure I'll figure it out after a few freak outs.

Oh man, your weekend sounds crazy! Ahhh! Boo on the car! And ahghghgds, crazy paper is crazy. I'm procrastinating writing a technical report right meow and bleh, it is just the worst. Luckily I just have to turn in a rough draft, so I don't have to polish anything beyond 'delete all instances of the word poop'. I don't think I could do this for a living. At least, not without getting to do the sciencey bits myself. Mad props, bro!
The elf approached and she instinctively placed her blade between them. Sure, she had just [s]stupidly[/i] broken him out of his public execution, but it wouldn’t be the first time she had rescued someone and then had them turn on her. Not that she could fight properly. Not with Pan like this. Pan was mumbling into the crook of her neck, a slurry of words she couldn’t even begin to translate. He was sagging against her, drifting off to sleep. She elbowed his ribs again. Chamera was no healer, but she knew enough that she needed to keep him awake.

The jailhouse echoed with shouts and cries. Chamera winced as she scanned her surroundings. To her right, a prisoner had been cleaved in two by an icicle the size of a cow. Several cells had been broken open, grey ribbon of light streaming in through the wounds in the ceiling. A guard, either Zhent or Dalesman she wasn’t sure, was pinned to the shattered wooden floor. The stench of death was thick in the air, all copper and bile. Shouts echoed from every corner, pleas and jeers blending into one another. Another boulder of ice smashed through the roof dead ahead, crushing an empty table. Someone began to scream. The wail of terror pierced through her armor down to her very core, resonating in her bones. Chamera tried not to panic.

The elf had equipped himself. She’d hoped for heavy plate and a towering shield. No such luck; instead, he wore cloth and a cowl that shadowed his face. Shit. Where was a good fleshy meat shield when a woman needed one? Likely dead, after the stunt you just pulled. Chamera winced. This was not one of her better daring rescues.

“Leave him. He will slow you down and you will both die.”

Chamera blinked intelligently. The sheer callousness of his words was unbelievable; the stupidity was almost laughable. Pan’s mumbling was indecipherable, but his tone had darkened. Chamera was rather offended. Did Pan think she would abandon him so easily? Probably. Without the promise of payment, Pan would have fled long ago. But she was not Pan. She didn’t leave friends behind. No matter the cost.

“And the odds are good that I’ll die later if I abandon him now,” she snapped, planting her feet more firmly. With a deep breath, she shifted Pan’s weight more favorably across her shoulders. What she wouldn’t do for a proper healer right now. “Not to mention the whole ‘horrible torturous death’ I’d be dooming him to. He’s coming—and you’ll be helping. You owe me at least that.”

Pan made an irritated sound. Chamera ignored him, swallowing the sting in her throat. Gods, she needed water. It felt as if someone had shoved a red hot iron down her throat. She was familiar enough with the sensation to hazard a guess as to what that would feel like. Focus. She could complain about all her aches and pains later.

“The woods,” Chamera tossed a bloodied braid out of her face with a sharp jerk of her head. It smacked against Pan’s bald head, streaking dull red against his pale features. “Whatever they did to the Weave, I think it’s focused on the town. There are minimal patrols in the woods south of Harpers’ Hill. If we reach the forrest, fortune may smile on us yet.”

“Your Laaaddyy'ss fortune isss—“ Pan mumbled. Chamera elbowed him again, a little more viciously this time. He cried out in pain. She almost felt guilty.

“Now is not the time for blasphemy, Pan,” she hissed, a note of panic creeping into her voice. Pan lapsed into silence. She could only pray the Lady would not take offence to her faithless companion. Or the Drow. She turned her gaze on him, breathing deep to steel herself.
Borderlands is the first shooter I've been any good at, haha! The story was compelling enough that I just bashed my head against a wall until I sucked less. Woosh! The Pre-Sequel's story is a little harder to follow, but it's still a super awesome game.

And no worries! :D It was a good read. I've not had any pacing issues yet so far on my end. If you ever find my (horrendously slow) pacing to be an issue, please let me know! :]
Haha, moooooooostly I'm going with "the weave has been hella fucked with, magic is wildly unstable and dangerous and everything is terrible", although I did some reading on the shadow weave on the wiki and I'm liking the idea of treating that like anti-matter and it annihilating with matter. WHO KNOWS! :D I'm the worst, I kind of just poop out half formed ideas and let them develop on whims in game. Oops!

Midterms are finally over! *_* I did brilliantly on my physics midterm (to the surprise of no one haha!), pretty alright on my bio exam from hell, and I think I kicked the shit out of my programming one but scores have yet to be released. I had that exam on Halloween and omg it was ridiculous. I went as Carmen Sandiego as a last minute costume, and I SHIT YOU NOT, the dude assigned to the seat next to me was Waldo. It was amazing! We hi-fived. My life is such a fuckin sitcom, it's absurd.

I got a bit behind with everything because my best friend from my navy days just came back from an 8 month deployment and we bro'd out all weekend. I had an interview today at the university museum for a research position and I think I may have a job come next week (knock on wood!). We'll see. There's loads of applicants, but I'm super awesome, so hopefully it'll work out.

Right now I'm just trying to catch up with notes and work on some stuff for my physics project on Friday. I'm analyzing the subsurface geology of the Long Valley Caldera in California. WOOSH! It sounds way cooler than it actually is. It mostly involves fighting ancient software and squinting a lot.

BUT YES ANYWAYS I'm almost done with my post. I'm aiming to have it up by tonight or tomorrow at the latest.
Sadie laughed brashly at George’s comment, tipping her head back with her mirth. He was being really rather nice. She didn’t doubt the lengths that jerk’s like her brother would go to in pulling a prank. She supposed the train was a bit out of his reach, but as a professional younger sister she’d learned that there was always a chance she was being messed with. Especially considering she tended to give as good as she got.

“Maybe it’s just a massive prank and there’s loads of hidden cameras everywhere,” she grinned, although she had visibly relaxed in her seat. “And instead of Hogwarts we’re just going in a big loop and we’ll end up back at King’s Cross. My dreams can be right terrible sometimes.”

George offered her a small blue bean, which she accepted. She blinked as he told her not to eat it—and her mouth dropped when he explained what it was. Sadie was aware she looked daft, but this was too wild to be stupid like Brennan and feign apathy.

“A dragon egg?” She repeated, her little mind blown by the implications. “Like, there are enough dragons in the world that eggs can just be like, shrunk and passed out in sweets?”

She stared at the little blue bean—egg—in her palm, pale fingers reaching out to better examine it. It was so wee; and a little sad. She’d much rather it be a proper egg, with a proper dragon. Still, it was wonderful.

“Thank you,” she breathed, rather enthralled, her brain working a mile a minute. She didn’t process his question about the time, still puzzling over the egg, and then, rather alarmingly, something dropped in her lap and the compartment when black.

“Ack!” Sadie coughed, reflexively covering the egg with her hands to keep it safe. The light had been extinguished. It was oppressively dark, pressing in all around her, and Sadie let out a desperately uncool squeak. Her lungs burned and her heart raced in terror. She had to get out, it was too dark, she didn’t have her phone to use as a light and—

The window opened, the air clearing almost instantly. Sadie breathed deep, grateful for the fresh air and all the precious light. Black powder streamed out in large swirls, but her heartbeat was taking longer to slow down. She relaxed against her seat as George went to the compartment door. An empty sachet sat in her lap, which she carefully turned over.

“’Weasley Wizard Wheezes Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder’,” she read aloud, a painful knot in her throat. A humiliated flush had crossed her cheeks, freckled ears burning bright red. Sadie knew it was silly and childish, her fear of the dark, and wished desperately that she could be less pathetic. “That’s, um… s-something else.”
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