Avatar of El Taco Taco
  • Last Seen: 27 days ago
  • Old Guild Username: El Taco Taco
  • Joined: 12 yrs ago
  • Posts: 1221 (0.27 / day)
  • VMs: 2
  • Username history
    1. El Taco Taco 12 yrs ago
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Status

Recent Statuses

8 yrs ago
Current 'I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can't fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it "sir" because it would be the dominant species on the planet.'
7 likes
8 yrs ago
'There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster impersonating a human. Monstralization, maybe?'
2 likes
8 yrs ago
'If Zoey Ashe had known she was being stalked by a man who intended to kill her and then slowly eat her bones, she would've worried more about that and less about getting her cat off the roof.'
1 like
9 yrs ago
"And watch out for Molly. See if she does anything unusual. There’s something I don’t trust about the way she exploded and then came back from the dead like that."
7 likes
9 yrs ago
"We're talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely?"
2 likes

Bio


"OK, I've just about had my FILL of riddle-asking, quest-assigning, insult-throwing, pun-hurling, hostage-taking, iron-mongering, smart-arsed fools, freaks, and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence, and most of all, patience! If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that even the denizens of the nine hells themselves wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!" - CHARNAME, Baldur's Gate


Most Recent Posts

Chamera Balkious
”Whatever it takes, a Harper will do.”
Age: Twenty Six Race: Half Sun Elf, Half Human Class: Bard, Harper Agent Alignment: Chaotic Good Patron Deity: Tymora Home: Athkatla, Amn Appearance: Slim and heavily freckled, Chamera looks almost entirely human at first glance. Closer inspection reveals slightly angled eyes and pointed ears hidden behind numerous braids. Tawny and golden eyed, she wears light leathers and scale armor. Her hair is often filled with decorative beads and golden coins, a rather dated fashion among human nobility in Amn. Beneath her armor, Chamera’s body bears the marks of over ten years of adventuring throughout Faerun. Several scars mar her back, and the fingers on her right hand bear evidence of having been reattached. A large burn encompasses the entirety of her right calf, extending onto her foot. Notably, the pointed tip of her left ear is missing, mangling the remaining top half of the shell. History: Chamera was born to former human slave turned adventurer Saoryse Balkious and her elven companion, High Harper Cauthoridan of House Symbaern. Her father continued adventuring, leaving Chamera and her mother. Saoryse purchased the Copper Coronet in Athkatla, the City of Coin, in Amn. Her childhood was filled with hard work and skinned knees as she explored every inch of her beloved city. Her mother taught her the basics of sword play and useful little tricks—how to spring open locks, to move silently and nimbly, to sing sweetly and warm hearts with the pluck of a lute’s strings. Chamera hounded every adventurer who entered the tavern, needling them for stories and pointers. When she was sixteen, Chamera finally convinced a party of adventurers to take her along on their travels. Traveling through the realms, bouncing from group to group, she studied under whomever would teach her. At age nineteen, she met the sun elf mage Valyriathenniel of House Symbaern, her half-sister and joined her adventuring company more permanently. Things were initially rocky, with neither sister particularly endeared to each other. Over two years of battling through dungeons and facing down dragons, they grew exceptionally close. Chamera oversaw the union between her sister and their companion Sir Gendus McLaggen, a Paladin of Ilmater. Shortly after Chamera turned twenty four, their company was hired to eradicate a lich. This lich was, in life, an ancient psion of considerable power. Now it was determined to enslave and unite the orcs of the North to besiege the Silver Marches. After nearly half a year of pursuing and battling the lich and his forces, the company was ravaged by three of its own. The lich had implanted psionic geas’ in the minds of Valyriathenniel, the Aasimar fighter Nikela, and the Gnomish illusionist Belsao Brighthand. The geas demanded that the three slay their companions, and the troupe was whittled down from twelve to but four survivors. Chamera and her remaining companions rallied a small army, carving their way to the lich and striking him down. Consumed by grief, Chamera and Gendus hired adventurers to accompany them to the Nine Hells. Guided by the human sorcerer Pan and his tiefling psionic expert Gyvain, they located a portal in the Hells to the Fugue Plane. Belsao’s soul had already been bargained away by a Devil, but the party was able to remove the geas from the souls of Valyriathenniel and Nikela. Upon return to the Prime Material Plane, Chamera began traveling with Pan and Gyvain wandering throughout Rashemen. Hired by the Wychlaran, they spent several months slaying giants and rooting out the ever present Red Wizards of Thay. When the cold grew too tiresome, Chamera parted with her companions and journeyed to Everlund. There she met her estranged father, who recruited her into the Harpers. Chamera was sent to the Sword Coast, where she disabled a Zhent sponsored infestation of bandits plaguing the area. For the past two years, Chamera has been traveling on business for the Harpers. She has assassinated warmongers, brokered peace between villages and werewolves, gathering information in every city and spreading goodwill for the Harpers. Chamera was recently dispatched to Shadowdale to investigate the Zhent invasion of the nation and the local disintegration of the Weave. Equipment:
Armor: Elven leather chest piece, scale shirt, dexterous bracers, half leather skirt, leather pants, leather boots. Weapons: Masterwork dirk, keen dagger, throwing knives (5), Alchemist’s Fire (4)†, Tanglefoot Bag (2) † Tools and Magic Devices: Thieves Tools †, Masterwork Lute †, Valyriathenniel’s Spellbook †, Ring of Freedom of Movement, Wand of Acid Arrow †, Wand of Fear †. Gear: Bedroll †, Winter blanket †, Rope (50 feet) †, Grappling hook †, Traps † (2), Journal †, Quill and Ink †, Rations (5) †, Sewing kit †, Bandages (10 feet) †, Whetstone †, Shovel †, Cooking equipment †, Clay bowl †
Back view of armor † items are located within bag of holding.
In Please Stay 11 yrs ago Forum: 1x1 Roleplay
Haha, no, it's totally normal! I grew up playing tabletop RPGs, so dice rolling and coin flips are super intuitive for me. :3
In Please Stay 11 yrs ago Forum: 1x1 Roleplay
I'm not sure! I was going to flip a coin when it comes time.
In Please Stay 11 yrs ago Forum: 1x1 Roleplay
I'll try to get both my posts up tonight. :) ALSO RIGHT???? MARKATIE IS SO FUCKING HILARIOUS. I love the whole "grrr, I hate you, i want to murder you, oh fuck god damn it why are we snogging" dynamic.
Chamera crossed her legs, offhandedly unbuckling her belt and sheaths, fingers stumbling across the buckles. She dropped the leather beside her ruined bracer on the earth, shifting her weight more comfortably. Gently placing the wounded arm across her lap, she’d been about to wind the arm when the Drow spoke. It was a simple statement. Chamera turned her gaze on him, digging through a small bag. She considered the wound again, flexing the fingers on her left hand and gritting her teeth at the ache. Gods above, she was lucky it hadn’t hit bone. She needed her sword arm if she was to survive. “Will it?” She wondered, a touch of worry in her voice. She chuckled weakly, shaking her head. “I’m useless at healing. I’ve always been better at stabbing than being stabbed.” He was chewing on a weed, and Chamera eyed it curiously. Despite her years traveling, she was no woodsman. She’d never braved the wilds on her own. There had always been someone else to track the woods and gather healing herbs. Valyriathenniel had found her ignorance highly amusing, as if their elven father’s blood would have given Chamera an intuitive understanding of woods and dirt. It was ridiculous; she had grown up in the largest city in Amn, sneaking around sewers, working in the tavern, and pickpocketing through the market. Let the elfy elves have the woods. She vastly preferred the bustle of civilization. He gave her his name, although he seemed reluctant. He spoke of the Dale and his unfortunate journey through the land. He’d said something curious. A wizard? Elminster, perhaps? It had to be. Elminster’s Tower was a paradise for enterprising thieves. Chamera hadn’t bothered with the place. Any treasures that might remain after a few hundred years of neglect wouldn’t be worth the wizard’s wrath when she returned to Everlund. “You’re half, then? I wouldn’t have guessed.” She queried, surprised, head tilting in question. She’d had no idea. Now that she studied him in the firelight, it made sense. His ears weren’t quite as exaggerated, his features less angular and, in all her years, she’d never met an elf with the beginnings of a beard. “I haven’t met many other half elves.” Certainly not Half-Drow, she mused. How unfortunate. No one would really mind the human distinction, would likely treat him just as poorly as the infamous dark elves. Hells, she’d been fooled herself. She’d never even thought of the existence of Half Drow, although she supposed it was no less possible than the union of her Sun Elf father and human mother. He offered the pulp in his hand, apparently a healing agent of some sorts. Chamera considered it for a breath, before offering her wounded arm. “I would appreciate the help,” she grimaced a bit, clenching her fist against the dull ache. “Thank you.”
In Please Stay 11 yrs ago Forum: 1x1 Roleplay
Oh! Mind if I timeskip us ahead a few weeks in my post?
Sounds grood! :D Oh, and feel free to control Seine. :3
Sadie Natalia Ethans
”Oh don’t you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me”, I said “you’re holding back”, she said “shut up and dance with me!”
Face Claim: Kay Panabaker Age: 11 Gender: Female Sexuality: Heterosexual Date/Place of Birth: July 13th, 1998. Swindon. Currently: Hogwarts House: Gryffindor Wand: Dogwood, 6 ¾”, Phoenix Feather. Springy and excitable. Patronus: Will be a Stoat
Personal
Childhood/Family Life: Sadie’s childhood has been hard work. Raised on the family farm, Sadie is well acquainted with long days and extensive studying. An excellent student, she often ranked in the top ten in her coursework. Exceptionally close to her mother, Sadie’s most cherished memories are their numerous outings and girly nights. Sadie nurtured a mechanical streak with her father, helping him maintain aging farm equipment. Her relationship with her brother Brennan has always been strained, their personalities too similar to allow them to get on. Personality: Bubbly, excitable, and prone to mischief, Sadie has a loud personality. Often bouncing between four different thoughts, she is often mistaken as a brainless ditz. Beneath her cheery exterior, however, lies a deeply curious mind and fiery determination. Passionate, dedicated, and fiercely protective of her friends, Sadie’s sharp wit is a weapon in and of itself. Hobbies: Video games, geo-caching, studying, calligraphy, cards.
The morning was a bustle of excitement and nervous giggles, getting ready together. Maryam was particularly clever, her sharp wit even getting Holly to smirk appreciatively. Sadie sat on the end of her bed, Asenath perched behind her and weaving a waterfall braid through Sadie’s red hair. She seemed content to let Sadie chatter away, occasionally offering a quiet remark that Sadie had to strain to hear. Her uniform had been neatly pressed, with red and gold embroidered into the trimming sometime during the night and her black flats polished to a shine. A silk tie had been included, emblazoned with what she assumed was the crest of the house at the very base. Sadie ended up helping most of her dormmates knot their ties neatly, rather surprised to find that most of them had never done so before. But she recalled George’s explanation; few of them would have attended any form of formal school before. She patted Gail’s shoulder with a beam as she finished. Buttoning her cardigan over her crisp white shirt and high-waisted pleated skirt, Sadie followed Maryam and Tasia, slipping her red lined robes on over her shoulder. Luckily the castle was so drafty, otherwise Sadie suspected she might sweat to death. Gail fell into step with them as they descended the circular stairs. “My mum just took over Madame Malkins,” Tasia informed them, her massive curls bouncing with every step. “What about you?” Sadie asked Gail over her shoulder, nearly tripping into Maryam. She blushed with a laugh, apologizing profusely. Gail cleared her throat a little nervously. “Um, my papà’s a liaison from the Italian Ministry. My mother collects art.” “And your family, Sadie?” Maryam queried as they entered the Common Room. Sadie scanned the room and found a familiar head of white blonde hair. She brightened, waving. Turning to her dormmates, she smiled apologetically. “Oh, they’re farmers. Sorry, have to go, I’ll catch up with you later?” Maryam’s brow arched, and Sadie was surprised to see her direct a cool look towards George, as if she disliked him intensely. She offered Sadie a stern look. “Be careful,” she warned her, and Sadie tilted her head. “He’s a Nott,” she sounded as if that meant something really big and important, but it flew over Sadie’s head. She shrugged. “He’s nice. Anyway, bye!” She bounded over before Maryam could lecture her further, joining her friends as Seine arrived with a loud yawn. “Morning!” She chirruped, hitching her leather bag more evenly across her shoulder. “You look like a zombie, Seine.” He looked at her flatly, as if he didn’t quite get her reference. What, really? All this magic and no one knew what zombies were? Maybe the magical world wasn’t as great as she’d been lead to believe. She shook her head. “Never mind. Did you sleep well?” She directed to George, plowing on ahead with a bounce. “I didn’t. This is all too brilliant. Ahhh! Oh my gosh and we have class and I am so totally beyond ready. I’ve been waiting like, a hundred million years for this.”
Oooh but I love dem introspections! Hopefully I can get a reply up this week. Woosh!
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