Avatar of El Taco Taco
  • Last Seen: 26 days ago
  • Old Guild Username: El Taco Taco
  • Joined: 12 yrs ago
  • Posts: 1221 (0.27 / day)
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    1. El Taco Taco 12 yrs ago
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Recent Statuses

8 yrs ago
Current 'I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can't fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it "sir" because it would be the dominant species on the planet.'
7 likes
8 yrs ago
'There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster impersonating a human. Monstralization, maybe?'
2 likes
8 yrs ago
'If Zoey Ashe had known she was being stalked by a man who intended to kill her and then slowly eat her bones, she would've worried more about that and less about getting her cat off the roof.'
1 like
9 yrs ago
"And watch out for Molly. See if she does anything unusual. There’s something I don’t trust about the way she exploded and then came back from the dead like that."
7 likes
9 yrs ago
"We're talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely?"
2 likes

Bio


"OK, I've just about had my FILL of riddle-asking, quest-assigning, insult-throwing, pun-hurling, hostage-taking, iron-mongering, smart-arsed fools, freaks, and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence, and most of all, patience! If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that even the denizens of the nine hells themselves wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!" - CHARNAME, Baldur's Gate


Most Recent Posts

Bleh, mushrooms. Not dericious. Well, beyond the fun kind, but even then, the texture is just... terribad.

Matiir, you butthead!

SO LIKE

I'M KIND OF TORN

Between being nice and being wickedly evil to our poor bastards.

What say youuuuu? :D
Knife ear.

The words cut deeper than they ought to. It had been years since anyone had called her that inside the Circle. She’d almost forgotten what she was to them; an uppity elf, someone who was meant to be cleaning chambers, some thing that no one would miss if it disappeared after it was used up. The First Enchanter had always been her fiercest defender. He’d found those who had wounded her and put them to work. Some had grown from it; others had simply learned to keep their views quiet.

Evidently, now that the First had gone mad, the Knight Commander saw no reason to bite his tongue.

Knife ear. Her face burned, the sting of humiliation touching a nerve of temper. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so furious. She’d worked so hard, had endured so much to earn their trust and their respect. And none of it had mattered. All of her worth had been tied up in the First Enchanter’s clout. And now he was an abomination and Zayra was a knife ear once more. For a moment, she could hear the whispers, stronger now, trying to tap into her rage. They will take you to your children and turn on you. The shems will gut everyone you love or turn them tranquil. Little knife ear, you will be lucky if they kill you. Pray to your Maker that they kill you before they defile you. Let me help save you, let me in—

Zayra grit her teeth, forcing herself to ignore those insidious whispers. She would not save those children by falling. She would only doom them, either to Templars or her own horrors, if she surrendered. She took a steadying breath, eyes shut tight. Magic exists to serve man, and never to rule over him. Foul and corrupt are they who have taken His gift and turned—

Another explosion rocked the courtyard. Zayra’s eyes flew open, and Maker’s breath—that was too close to the library. What if they breached it—the children—she tried desperately to touch the curl of magic in her breast, but it did not respond. These damned Templars, these traitors—

They were opening the door. Zayra wanted to spit at the Knight Commander, but he offered a deal and she stilled her temper. Trade her for the children? Truthfully, she did not think the First Enchanter would take such an offer. She suspected he had sent thralls to the library—Dmitry was mad, but not foolish. He would have sequestered himself in the observatory at the top of the tower. He would not collect his sacrifices himself, not if he had any sense. But it was the only chance she had to return to the tower. She was terrified to die, but better her than blameless children. Their only crime was that they had been born with magic.

“You will do as y'must, I am certain, Commander,” she hissed, ears flattening against her skull in her irritation. Knife ear. Her eyes burned as she struggled to her feet. The chains were awkward and heavy, and she was a slight woman. With her magic, she could have easily altered their weight and born the burden, but she was denied its warmth.

Was this how Tranquil felt, she wondered, heart racing in sudden terror. She felt so empty, so dead inside without the comfort of her magic. It was as if someone had plucked the heart from her chest and replaced it with a stone carving. Everything felt wrong.

The Templars shoved her along. Pins and needles stung her feet as she tried not to stumble, to keep pace with their number. Her chin jut outwards in defiance as she tried to walk with some semblance of dignity. She would die here, but she would not die cowering.

The Knight Commander offered his blessing to their group, and her heart ached with a fresh wound. Why? Why would He let them suffer like this? Why did He let demons and monsters destroy their home and take so much life? She had never known such doubt before this moment. She had loved the Maker, had always found comfort in the Chant of Light. She knew the stories of Andraste and Shartan, knew in her heart that the Maker and His Bride had room even for little knife ears at their side. But she’d also known that the Templars were their protectors, and she’d been proven so very, very wrong there.

Maybe the Maker did not love all His children. Maybe mages and knife ears were not worthy of His love. Who was she to understand the mind of their creator?

“Blessed are the peacekeepers, champions of the just,” she murmured beneath her breath, her words lost in the clatter of armor. She wasn’t sure she believed the benediction herself. These righteous men and women, after all, had called for the Right of Annulment. Perhaps it had to be her. Somehow, with no magic nor staff, and in chains, she had to save their youngest from tranquility and possession and death. Zayra was not sure her slim shoulders could carry such a burden.

The door shut behind them with a heavy thud, and Zayra took a shuddering breath. Her feet felt numb, the world span lazily on a slight axis. She was exhausted, but she forced herself forward.

The Circle of Ostwick was a shadow of its former self. The main floor had always been lit by a dozen hearths, drying herbs and oils filling the tower with rich and lovely scents. It had been a warm welcome all those years ago. Now the hearths were cold and empty, the tapestries burned, and the tower smelled of sulphur and copper. The staircases on either side of the gargantuan circular room were dark and still. Zayra eyed the staircase to the right, gathering her nerve.

“The library is on the fourth floor,” she informed the Knight Corporal, heart racing ever faster, trying to find his eyes through his helm. They didn’t trust her, but she had to make them see sense. Maker, they were doomed. “We sealed all entrances, from above and below. Senior Enchanter Uriah will let me in, but I will need to help unlock the seal. Dozens of abominations and demons stalk these halls. We numbered nearly ninety Harrowed mages before this nightmare began. Knight Corporal, you and your men need my magic.”
I am so sorry for vanishing! I had crazy finals, some family drama, and then comicon and then the new quarter (and my last one ahhhhh!) started and I got hella behind. I'm back! I'll have a post for you first thing tomorrow morning.
Sadie wasn’t quite sure what to make of Astronomy. It had been the first textbook she had devoured after the trip to Diagon Alley. She had found herself immensely disappointed. Astronomy, apparently, was more like astrology in the wizarding world. She wasn’t sure what she had been expecting, but Jupiter in the twelfth house of Capricorn’s horns or whatever had not been it. Magic was incredible, but she still found the whole ‘the stars have bearing on human affairs’ argument a little suspect.

It struck Sadie once again just how little she knew about the wizarding world. Magic was its own beast, played by its own rules. There were so many possibilities. She felt the familiar excitement bubbling in her chest again as she considered that thought. How far could you push magic? Where could it take you?

She followed Max’s direction to peer at the tower. Something glittered in the morning sunshine, filtering in through grey clouds. Her eyes lit up. That telescope looked enormous. Maybe magic could rival Hubble. That would be insane and she might actually die of delight.

Sadie hung on Max’s every word, committing them to memory, even as she disapproved. Fourth year? That was forever away. He had to be wrong. How could the fundamentals of magic be anything but incredible? MAGIC. Did he just not get how mind bogglingly awesome that was?

He’d said something about Quidditch. Beyond her brother’s tight-lipped involvement, it didn’t really sound interesting. Flying sounded incredible, sure, but who had time for sport or whatever it was? She wanted to get to the meat of everything, get her teeth into her coursework. But maybe her brother was simply bitter over not winning everything? That sounded right. Sadie admonished herself internally; she really needed to stop judging things. Open mind. You don’t have any frame of reference for any of this.

“I quite liked him,” Sadie laughed as they shuffled into the Greenhouse. Sadie took the lead, aiming for a table right towards the front, claiming three of the four seats for themselves. The table was loaded with several trowels and pots, and Sadie felt a little at ease. This was somewhat familiar. Undoubtedly it would turn strange and alien soon enough, but she’d been in the garden her whole life. She felt a little less like she’d been thrown into the deep end here.

Undoubtedly having scoured A Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi cover to cover had helped a little.

“Mind if I join you?” Sadie looked up to see a tall, dark haired girl with a loosely knotted bronze and black tie nodding at the empty seat. Evidently, most other students had had the same idea to arrive early, and tables were filling up rapidly.

“Sure thing,” Sadie chirruped, scooting over to make room. “I’m Sadie. That’s Seine and George.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Freyja,” the girl nodded, considering the greenhouse a little skeptically. Sadie suspected she knew what that expression meant. She was pretty sure it was simply a (significantly calmer) variant of her own mystified look. Freyja dropped her bag on the ground next to the table, seating herself. "So this is all... weird."
Haha! Omfg, I love it.

ALSO BACK WOOSH. Working on a post!
I'm totally interested, I just won't be around until next week.
AH OKAY I JUST FIGURED OUT THE SCROLL

TRAITORS AND MAGIC AND PROPHECIES OH MY

Ye boyieeeeee >:D You'll find out soon enough, bwehehehehe
Chamera couldn’t be certain, but it seemed as if Pan might have been recovering. The icy cast to his skin seemed lesser, somehow, but she was no healer, no true wizard, and she had not seen such an affliction in all her days. The Wychlaren would know. They knew winter and magic like she knew the magic of a song, and they could have helped. But she had no means of sending them a message. Ghyvain had known how to dream across the realms.

Where was Ghyvain? It was not the first time she’d wondered this. She and Pan had been inseparable when she had left them in Rashemen. But when Chamera had asked after their horned friend, he had shrugged and answered that they had parted ways. It had been a wall that she knew better than to scale. But Ghyvain could have called to the Wychlaren. She might have known how to heal Pan herself.

Chamera tucked a heavy woolen blanket around his limp body, dropping her forehead to his. She prayed. She prayed desperately to her Lady of Fortune. Do not let him die. I owe him so much. He has given me peace and friendship when I did not deserve it. Smile on him and bring him back to me, my Lady. Let his dice fall lucky.

Her eyes stung as she pulled away, tawny fingers splayed across his pale face. He looked so small, like he was merely a fraction of his six feet and massive frame. They had been through so much—he could not die now. She had to trust in doubt and daring that he would pull through.

She was halfway through assembling her tent when the dro—Jeron’s activities made her pause. He did not build camp, nor tend to his wounds. A crisp white scroll, starker against the pitch of his hands, instead drew her curiosity. He held it so delicately, as if it might burst into flames. It was an unusual way to study a scroll, as if he did not know quite what it was.

But he had implied that he had slipped through Elminster’s tower, and her mouth went dry. She should stop him. Elminster was a man of traps and a mind like snakes, blown to the edge of madness by the Weave in his veins. She knew what he was capable of, but her companion had slipped open the scroll before she could protest.
The scroll was blank. It was rather underwhelming. She returned her attention to securing stakes and poles through oiled canvas, the motions smooth and familiar. Jeron gasped and spoke, reclaiming her attention with the flicker of golden eyes.

Now that was interesting.

Chamera rose to her feet, approaching the scroll carefully. She eyed it as one might a trap, head cocked to one side. Slowly, she knelt, running a finger down its edges, whistling low as she tried to feel for magic. Something in it sparked warmth in her hand, familiar, but no insight flashed through her mind. It was magic—neither good nor evil—but she did not know its mysteries. She eased it from the dirt, pristine as the day its parchment had been woven.

“I’ve seen messages that act like this,” she commented thoughtfully, turning it over in her hands. “Sometimes they reveal their secrets to the right eyes, or to a command word, often both.”

She hesitated for a long moment, before breaking the wax with the slip of a thumb. The parchment did not tear as she eased it open. Something shimmered beneath her gaze, but it did not reveal ink before it dissipated to blank parchment. Chamera frowned deeply. Was this for her? How? Why? Or perhaps it was a lingering touch of magic from her simple spell.

“I don’t know,” she frowned more deeply, releasing the scroll. It snapped shut, sealing itself in the breath it took to fall to the forrest floor. She glanced to Pan, ignoring the way her heart clenched, the pool of shame and worry in her belly. “Pan will know. Or, at least, he will know how to find out.” She returned her gaze to Jeron, her brows knitting together. “You are wounded, no? Do you need assistance? I am no healer, but I can follow direction.”
Ahhhh! :D :D :D yaaaaaaaay! <3 thanks for being so patient my love
AHHHH HAVE A POST

It was so fun to write. SAMAIRE BBY, YOU FINALLY COOPERATED IN A POST. I'm so proud of her -sniff-
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