Avatar of El Taco Taco
  • Last Seen: 26 days ago
  • Old Guild Username: El Taco Taco
  • Joined: 12 yrs ago
  • Posts: 1221 (0.27 / day)
  • VMs: 2
  • Username history
    1. El Taco Taco 12 yrs ago
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Status

Recent Statuses

8 yrs ago
Current 'I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can't fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it "sir" because it would be the dominant species on the planet.'
7 likes
8 yrs ago
'There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster impersonating a human. Monstralization, maybe?'
2 likes
8 yrs ago
'If Zoey Ashe had known she was being stalked by a man who intended to kill her and then slowly eat her bones, she would've worried more about that and less about getting her cat off the roof.'
1 like
9 yrs ago
"And watch out for Molly. See if she does anything unusual. There’s something I don’t trust about the way she exploded and then came back from the dead like that."
7 likes
9 yrs ago
"We're talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely?"
2 likes

Bio


"OK, I've just about had my FILL of riddle-asking, quest-assigning, insult-throwing, pun-hurling, hostage-taking, iron-mongering, smart-arsed fools, freaks, and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence, and most of all, patience! If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that even the denizens of the nine hells themselves wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!" - CHARNAME, Baldur's Gate


Most Recent Posts

Austin is rad as shit! You should totes go. :)
Yeah, Murica is pricey to explore, it's just too damn massive to do cheaply. At least on the west coast. Things are hella close together on the east coast as states are hecka tiny over there.

Haha, yeah, we have the Cascades and some down into Oregon plus Alaska and Hawai'i. Here in Puget Sound we've got the Juan de Fuca plate subducting beneath the North American plate and a triple point with the Pacific plate down south. Our tectonics are pretty rad, with some of the best studied mid ocean spreading centers in the world. We just laid down fiber optic cables to a ridge off the coast to new instruments out in the water last summer. *-*

I'd love to go back to the east coast, maybe down to Florida or go abroad. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for Naples.
The lesson eventually entered familiar territory as Professor Sprout explained their tools and showed the class around the Greenhouse. This, at least, didn’t require the use of a wand. As much as Sadie had loved buying her wand (and nearly blowing up half of Ollivander’s shop when the dogwood wand had met her hand), there was something… intimidating about that sort of magic. Sadie hadn’t been able to find anything in her textbooks about how to grip it, let alone how it worked. And as much as she yearned to cast magic, a secret terror lingered in her heart. What if she wasn’t actually a witch? What if she didn’t actually belong here?

By the time they were filing out of the greenhouse, Sadie was starting to feel sick. Freyja smiled and flounced off to join a round-faced blonde and an extremely tall boy. Sadie tried not to let her nerves drive her spare. Following the massive crowd out of the Greenhouse, she dug in her bag for the schedule she had already memorized. Transfiguration with Professor Clearwater in Classroom 1B.

“First years!”

Sadie perked up at the familiar voice of their prefect Xia He, crossing the bridge with a wide grin. Sadie glanced to Seine and George before falling in, twitching her fingers in greeting at Gail and Asenath.

“Right, looks like that’s all of you. Let’s get you to Transfiguration,” Xia He was all smiles, and Sadie winced as she spied her brother over her shoulder, surly as ever. Resolving to ignore him, she instead returned her attention to Seine and George.

“Professor Sprout seems nice,” she remarked lightly, clasping her hands behind her.

“Pity we can’t actually do anything yet,” Seine remarked, nose scrunched in distaste. Sadie blinked.

“Well, yet. You have to walk before you can run though, right?” She pointed out with a lopsided grin, brow quirking. “Besides. It’s magic. Even the ‘boring’ bits are freakin’ magic.”
Haha, oh no!! Hopefully you can visit the Pac Norwest and experience the glory of a properly rad west coast! :D Especially Seattle and Portland. They are such darling little cities. <3 <3 <3 Seattle is my favorite city in the US, full stop. Although I do miss the super friendliness of Charleston. Dat southern hospitality tho.

Oh, for sure! *_* I just ordered a new charger for my camera so I can be prepped for all my exploring! :D I need to do Mount St. Helens and Rainier before I leave Washington~~~ HIKE ALL THE VOLCANOES D:<
Bumpity boppity boop.
Not my best post but, woosh, there it is.
If Thesk had not been plagued by winter, Kalana could have seen herself forging a life here.

She had spent the past two years journeying northwards, plying her craft to survive. Looting dungeons, providing magical protection, eradicating pests (both sentient and wild), and the occasional bout of assassination had kept her on the road, chasing rumors of work to keep her belly full. She certainly hadn’t intended to make a living adventuring; it had simply been the only available option when she had left Calimshan. Kalana had meant to set herself up in a quiet village, maybe build herself a little tower where she could pour over her books in peace. Perhaps eventually she would find a little child with a gift for the Art and pass on her knowledge. It had been, in her opinion, a truly excellent plan.

The villagers of the nameless border village in Tethyr had rather dashed those dreams when they had chased her beyond their farms with swords and arrows. Kalana had thrown indignant fireballs at the uppity humans over her shoulder and seriously considered turning around and crossing the Calim desert all over again.

It had been a similar story in the next half dozen villages she tried until Kalana finally gave up on her little tower and her books. Throwing in with the first band of adventurers that would take her, she wandered ever further from the Sea of Swords. Companions were ever shifting, parting in death and exhaustion alike, joined by youths and veterans alike as they pursued work. By the time she had reached the Moonsea, Kalana had worked with nearly a dozen different companies. Faces and names had blurred together; the wilds were as brutal as war, and few of their number survived the winter in Narfell.

Kalana had found winter fascinating for all of three days. It wasn’t so much the cold as the almost unending night. She had never thought the sun to be a scarcity before. Even in the midst of horror, she had always been assured by the fire painting the sky on every rising. To go nearly a month without more than a feeble glimmer of sunlight had been maddening. As her latest company began the journey south, Kalana swore she would never again spend a winter in the hells of the north.

And then she had found Thesk. In the three weeks she had spent in Two Stars, selling the artefacts she had spirited away from the ruins of Narfell, she had yet to be refused service even once. Two Stars was not a particularly large town, but she had counted no less than three other tieflings scattered throughout its markets. Her horns had been more a curiosity than threat, and by her second week it seemed as if the humans had grown accustomed to her. And when her latest company announced that they were heading west, Kalana had simply wished them well and taken her share of their coffers.

In all the hundreds of miles she had traveled, by foot and ship and horse and magic alike, Kalana had never found a town quite as friendly as Two Stars. In the midst of spring, she indulged in the first breaths of peace and quiet she had known since her childhood in Memnon. And though she could never have confused the bitter morning air of Two Stars for the spray of the sea and the sweltering heat, it had been the closest thing to home she had found in the realms.

Perhaps, however, she had never been meant to settle down. The idea of a tower and books had sounded so delightful, fresh from war in robes still stained by brains and guts. But she hadn’t considered that a little town—even one as vitalized by trade as Two Stars—could be so unbelievably boring. And despite three weeks of soft beds and hot baths, Kalana found herself missing the road. There was never a short supply of bandits or monsters to battle in the wilds. And while it was nice not to have children scream at the sight of her, she rather missed the readiness of a fight in town. There was nothing like unleashing the Art, shaping reality into fire and death, fanning the flames of her temper until she felt alive. Two Stars was simply too peaceful. Even with the two skirmishes with demons she had seen, there simply wasn’t enough… excitement.

Finding work had not been much of a challenge. Trade routes always needed protecting from raiders and slavers alike, especially this close to Thay. Kalana had expected to find a place in a caravan striking east, guarding someone’s wealth. Simple work that promised both combat and healthy pay—what more could she want? Then she had seen the signs. A small fortune to help best a hedge-wizard? It was either a simple matter for easy gold or a truly lethal trap. Both options were rather appealing.

It was a short journey through the crowded markets. After nearly a month within its borders, Kalana still found joy in wandering the stalls, laden with silks and spices and wonders from both east and west. Smoke and the spice of cooked meat curled through the air along with the din of hundreds of voices in half a dozen languages. The watery sunshine did little to warm the morning, and Kalana drew her heavily brocaded shawl closer around her frame.

Her gnarled staff clicked along cobbled stone, little golden bells tinkling as they swayed in time. Slipping through the gates, Kalana turned her burning eyes on the tower atop the hill. It was a simple structure, but as she followed the stone path up its slopes, she could taste the familiar bite of magic in the air. A wizard hiring a wizard to kill a wizard—it seemed to be the beginnings of a bawdry tavern joke. Kalana’s lip curved into a private smirk at the thought.

The simple fence surrounding the tower seemed almost to hum as she approached. Arching a heavy brow, she considered the neatly maintained garden and the man dozing in a chair. Had she been mistaken? The signs had lead here, after all. With a little tut of impatience, Kalana rapped the fence with her staff to rouse the sleeping man.

“You there,” tone curt and eyes narrowing, Kalana cocked her head to one side, “Are you still hiring?”
Ah, now that it looks like I'm not all by myself, I'll get my post up. I'm aiming to have it up tonight before midterms attack.
Aw, thanks gurlfren! <3 looking forward to your post!
Wow, it's been a million years since I've bumped this. So, woosh, bump. Updated the first post a little bit.

If we have an RP going, especially if it's in PMs, and I haven't replied in a million years, feel free to bug me. My inbox is a fucking catastrophe and I probably overlooked you purely on accident. I'm the worst.
Really, she ought to stop being surprised by Jeron’s suspicion. She had traveled with a tiefling after all, similarly loathed by the world at large, and she had seen the worst of how people could treat the planetouched. But where Jeron spat acid (thankfully not literally), Ghyvain had simply laughed and shrugged her shoulders. Chamera tried to be patient, tried not to let her companion’s ire get beneath her skin, but it took tremendous will. He was not Ghyvain; it was unfair to judge him by her absent friend.

Uncertain how to press the issue, Chamera hesitated. He was undoubtedly wounded. He’d been in the hands of Zhents, and they never could resist the opportunity to inflict pain. Her fingers ached at the thought, deep in her bones, and she released a sharp breath.

Luckily, Jeron seemed to come to his senses, even as his concession sounded no less vicious. Arching a dark brow, Chamera shifted her weight, arms folding beneath her chest. It was evident that he was… not exactly good with people. Not everyone could be silver tongue and clever words, she knew, but it was never pleasant to be at the receiving end of vicious barbs.

Her irritation was irrelevant; Jeron had agreed and he was digging through his bag. Approaching with silent footfalls, Chamera lowered herself to her knees behind the prickly half-elf. A muscle in her jaw twitched at the thick leaves, dropped haphazardly in the dirt. Grateful that they were not face to face, her lip curled in disgust. Even after all these years, she disliked the filth of the road. There was nothing better than cities, where hot baths and soft beds were only gold and coppers away.

Gingerly lifting a pair of leaves from the soil and cleaning them on her tunic (as best she could, at least), Chamera gathered her nerve. Placing the leaves between her teeth, she bit down. Bitterness and something like rotting flesh filled her mouth. Coughing, Chamera tried to resist the urge to spit everything on the ground. Making a sound of disgust, she placed a hand to her lips. She didn’t know how valuable these were, but—

Gods that is vile,” she hissed, face scrunched in displeasure. Jeron’s instruction to hurry up did not much endear the dark skinned elf to her favor—but before she could strike back, her golden eyes had found his back.

Oh. Oh. She had thought herself heavily scarred, but this… there were almost more white lines than dark skin, and her stomach dropped. The freshest lines were angry red and oozing, across spine and shoulders and down to the small of his back. They were expertly placed for the most return of pain, and Chamera forced herself to chew. Several moments of silence passed before she spat the bitter pulp into her off hand. The taste lingered, but Chamera loaded her fingertips with the mess of plant matter.

“I’m going to touch you now,” she informed him, her voice softer than usual. From the way he’d jumped at the mere mention of help, Chamera suspected that touching him suddenly would end poorly for her. Gingerly, she began to smear the goop across a line bisecting his shoulder blades.

How had he run for so long? Suddenly, Chamera felt rather guilty, having pushed them so far when her companion had been this wounded. Carrying Pan across both their shoulders could not have helped matters. She worked methodically, but it was slow going, forced to lift several more leaves from earth and suffer the vile taste throughout the process. She prayed to her Lady as she went, hoping perhaps that her favor might ease pain, but she was unsure if her Lady answered. She had already asked so much. At the nearest shrine, she swore, she’d upend a whole bag of gold into their coffers and do whatever work they needed. They just needed enough luck to get there alive.

It took much longer than she’d hoped it would. From the way her arm had stung, a light wound, she couldn’t imagine how keenly his wounds stung. Chamera sat back on her heels, studying the wounds. It looked like she had got them all…

“I have bandages—if that will help,” she offered hesitantly, uncertain if he would snap again. Better to be gentle, to keep tempers at bay as best she could. They needed to work together to survive, until they could get out of Zhentarim territory.
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