Avatar of El Taco Taco
  • Last Seen: 24 days ago
  • Old Guild Username: El Taco Taco
  • Joined: 12 yrs ago
  • Posts: 1221 (0.27 / day)
  • VMs: 2
  • Username history
    1. El Taco Taco 12 yrs ago
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Status

Recent Statuses

8 yrs ago
Current 'I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can't fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it "sir" because it would be the dominant species on the planet.'
7 likes
8 yrs ago
'There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster impersonating a human. Monstralization, maybe?'
2 likes
8 yrs ago
'If Zoey Ashe had known she was being stalked by a man who intended to kill her and then slowly eat her bones, she would've worried more about that and less about getting her cat off the roof.'
1 like
9 yrs ago
"And watch out for Molly. See if she does anything unusual. There’s something I don’t trust about the way she exploded and then came back from the dead like that."
7 likes
9 yrs ago
"We're talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely?"
2 likes

Bio


"OK, I've just about had my FILL of riddle-asking, quest-assigning, insult-throwing, pun-hurling, hostage-taking, iron-mongering, smart-arsed fools, freaks, and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence, and most of all, patience! If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that even the denizens of the nine hells themselves wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!" - CHARNAME, Baldur's Gate


Most Recent Posts

In Please Stay 10 yrs ago Forum: 1x1 Roleplay


I seriously want to marathon the movies again *A*
<3 -hug-

It was awesome. He cried, I cried, it was great.

It's almost like he isn't really gone--he has Facebook underway and has been able to call a few times. He was a submariner before and I would get like, 10 emails total over the whole 90+ days he was gone. He's a surfacer now and we're just like, super spoiled. It's amazeballs!
Samaire is really regretting like, everything. Kid has no idea what she's doing haha
I'm back, bitches.
Flemeth was a slip of a woman, with weathered skin and a cackle in her voice that was meant to sound mad. Ingvar pounded his hand against his chest and bowed at the waist in greeting. There was a wildness to the woman, not of addled thoughts, but of magic and woods. Her golden eyes seemed to see beyond, like she could see past his learned manners to his younger days, to hunting with his people, to his love for the Lady of the Skies.

“We are honored,” he spoke for his frozen recruits when introduced, and he settled in to watch. Mela seemed to gather herself, to challenge her mother. Her voice wavered until she found her stride. If she survived the Joining, he mused, she’d make a fine Warden. She was a believer; Lady know they needed more believers in their ranks.

Flemeth gave not quite a blessing, but more than permission. When she returned with their treaties, Ingvar bowed his head in gratitude. He accepted the ancient, wooden chest, relieved that it had not come to blows. Somehow he suspected that he would not fare well against Flemeth. Opening the chest, he scanned the first treaty, calling the Dwarves to join and fight. It was authentic.

“Without them, our chances are worse,” Ingvar spoke diplomatically. “Thank you for protecting them.”

Flemeth left them abruptly, and Ingvar turned to his recruits. Daveth swore beneath his breath, relief plain across his and Ser Jory’s faces. Mela called attention to the late hour and Ingvar nodded, hoisting the chest onto one shoulder.

“We will go,” he decided. There was no point in tarrying; he did not wish to be in the Korcari Wilds at night with a darkspawn army gathering.

The journey back to Ostagar took several hours, and the sun had long since set by the time they reached the gate. He released his recruits for the hour, bringing the treaties to the Warden Commander. Ingvar stopped to bring the wilds flower to the Kennel Master, resting his heavy hand on the sickened beast for a long moment. It was a spot of warmth in what was to be a grim night. The Joining would begin on the hour.

He’d prepared the ritual a dozen times before, and it never ceased to amaze and unsettle him. Warden Commander Duncan stood beside him in silence, his gaze resolute. Ingvar breathed deep and turned his face to the moon. The Lady breathed through the woods, between the Mountain Father’s fingers, and whispers of her breath brushed against Ingvar’s face. Spirits willing, at least one of their recruits would survive.
Fraction's Hawkeye run is pretty much my favorite ever, so I'm 10000% on board with this. I write a more 616 inspired Nat anyways, with the Red Room's super soldier serum. Shoot me a PM!
-Hi five!- Shoot me a PM and let's get plotting!
Hip bump!
Hahaha, I love it. Poor Mat, stuck with literally the worst traveling companion ever.
Thank you for validating my terrible pun ♡
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