Avatar of El Taco Taco
  • Last Seen: 23 days ago
  • Old Guild Username: El Taco Taco
  • Joined: 12 yrs ago
  • Posts: 1221 (0.27 / day)
  • VMs: 2
  • Username history
    1. El Taco Taco 12 yrs ago
  • Latest 10 profile visitors:

Status

Recent Statuses

8 yrs ago
Current 'I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can't fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it "sir" because it would be the dominant species on the planet.'
7 likes
8 yrs ago
'There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster impersonating a human. Monstralization, maybe?'
2 likes
8 yrs ago
'If Zoey Ashe had known she was being stalked by a man who intended to kill her and then slowly eat her bones, she would've worried more about that and less about getting her cat off the roof.'
1 like
9 yrs ago
"And watch out for Molly. See if she does anything unusual. There’s something I don’t trust about the way she exploded and then came back from the dead like that."
7 likes
9 yrs ago
"We're talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely?"
2 likes

Bio


"OK, I've just about had my FILL of riddle-asking, quest-assigning, insult-throwing, pun-hurling, hostage-taking, iron-mongering, smart-arsed fools, freaks, and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence, and most of all, patience! If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that even the denizens of the nine hells themselves wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!" - CHARNAME, Baldur's Gate


Most Recent Posts

Haha! My best friend feels the same way. He's gutted by my ambivalence. I'm thinking of picking up some Black Canary, if only for Annie Wu's delightful art. I love her use of line and facial expressions, and ahhhh, her colour palettes are always fucking incredible.

Haha, PFFFT, fan status is not defined by how much stuff you have. S'all cool
In Please Stay 10 yrs ago Forum: 1x1 Roleplay
My heart still hurts for Rickman. ):

So, beyond HP marathons, what have you been up to, homeskillet?
Daww, that's perf. I love how hilariously harmless the dolls look. Like, DESIGN UR OWN BIG PREDATORY CAT :D :D :D LOOK HOW FLUFFY!
“Sammy. Sammy, get up. We’ve got to go.”

Someone was jostling her shoulder violently, trying to pull her from the fog of sleep. Samantha grumbled and made to shake them off, burying her face deeper in a rough cotton pillow.

“Sammy, people are here for you. Get your bag.”

The panicked whisper sliced through her sleep muddled brain, words tumbling over each other until their meaning settled in. Samantha’s eyes snapped open as she scrambled to get to her feet, tripping over her own bedspread. Large, weathered hands caught and steadied her. Her father looked down at her, his leathery face unnaturally pale. Samantha swallowed.

“Meet me out the back door in five minutes,” he instructed, pressing a loop of keys firmly into her hands. “If I’m not there, you take the truck and you run. You go to Jim’s old cabin, and you lock everything down, y’hear?”

“I’m not leaving without you, dad—“ Her voice came out in a strangled rasp. Already she could feel her vocal cords shifting as panic surged through her blood. Not now, not now.

“You damn well better,” he snapped, and gently pushed her towards her things. “Five minutes, Sammy. Go.”

Nodding mutely, Samantha Bray rushed through haphazard piles of clothes, searching for—there. Grabbing the large, camping bag, she fumbled with the latches. She could hear her father moving down the stairs, through the house, beginning to unlock a safe. That gentle sound, found by impossibly sharp ears, made her blood run cold. If her father was going for a gun—she couldn’t think about that.

Four minutes and twelve seconds later, Sammy was buckling the bag tight, slinging the strap over a shoulder. She’d pulled a hoodie and jeans on over her pajamas and knotted her sneakers on bare feet. Pausing at the top of the stairs, she willed herself to be still, focusing on extending her hearing.

Sounds leapt at her in a rush—water in the pipes, the house settling, birds in the trees, cattle in the barn rousing for the day, heart beats—heartbeats on the patio—her father’s voice, gruff—I’ll ask you to kindly take your trailer off my property and not come back—the distinct click of a rifle being gestured—

Fifteen seconds until she had to be out the back door. She pressed the keys to her chest, heart hammering as she began to creep down the stairs. Eight seconds at the base of the stairwell. The back to her right, the front to her left, pulse screaming in her ears, voices—

Sammy went left.

She could see her father’s back through the screen door, rifle held but, mercifully, not pointed directly at the intruding heartbeats. Samantha couldn’t do anything without hurting her father, even if she had known how, but she couldn’t do nothing.

“Dad?” She called, walking through the foyer, drawing to a halt at the screen door. He twisted, looking at her with furious, terrified eyes. Samantha spoke quickly, her voice peaking just a little too high, “Is everything alright?”
In which Sarai kind of, sort of, calms down.
Higgs towered, and nearly toppled, over her. It, rather unreasonably, incensed her. It was hardly his fault that he’d grown taller—and certainly not his fault that she was spectacularly short—but in this moment, she was all too happy to blame him for this as well.

She could hex him. She was clever with a wand, had learned half a dozen curses that awful year in hiding. That she’d never fired them at another person was irrelevant—right? Sarai’s nostrils flared, fists clenched, her temper spiking inwards. Did she really just think that? She was frustrated, hurt, and lashing out with a wand disgusted her to her very core. Her skin crawled, and it took more will power than she’d care to admit to keep from wallowing in her shame.

Sarai took a deep, steadying breath, looking up at the most unfortunate wizard in Britain. As frustrating as this was for her, having someone invading her life and coddling her, it had to be worse on his end. He was stuck minding her like a child—and she’d certainly acted like one, she admitted grudgingly. Higgs was wasting his time as much as her father was manpower. The thought didn’t erase her frustration, but it let her wrestle back a sliver of composure. Sarai straightened, slowly unclenching her fists. Arms folding beneath her chest, she listened as Higgs, understandably, rejected her unrealistic plan.

He spoke with conviction, finally stringing together something remotely sensible. He had everything to lose here—undoubtedly his career had just taken a turn for the complicated. What Auror in their right (relatively) mind would give up hunting dark wizards for shadowing her in the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts office? Sarai searched his eyes for a long moment, as if he might falter. Higgs did no such thing. With an irritated scoff, she looked away, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like bloody Aurors.

“Fine,” Sarai relented, attempting to sound civil. She failed spectacularly. “If you must. Stubborn git.”

Insulting Higgs, she mused, was not nearly as satisfying as it should have been. Unfair.

Running a hand through tight curls and skimming them behind an ear, Sarai Shacklebolt resigned herself to her fate. Casting a glance around the crowded hall, she simply nodded towards the elevator. The fight fled her veins in a rush, and she suddenly felt exhausted. She needed air—and a very stiff drink. Or six. The Leaky Cauldron would solve both of these problems handsomely.
LE GASP.
Alas, I'm not much of a DC girl. I liked Year One, and fuck yeah Static Shock, but I never followed any titles. I was going to jump aboard when New 52 started, but just couldn't get into it.

I do enjoy DC shows--Flash has won my cold, butter heart--and I'm thinking of checking out Legends, but I'll always be a filthy casual in DC.
Gasp! Surely you jest!
© 2007-2026
BBCode Cheatsheet