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    1. ftheart13otaku 11 yrs ago

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11 yrs ago
Current I am new here in RP guild. Can anyone read and give me critics with my first chap?

Bio

I love to edit and write stories.

The stories that are gonna be uploaded ere are by my friend and I. Some of my stories are also uploaded in my IG|ftheart13otaku.

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Hello, I am new here in this site. So I dont know anything much. I am wondering if anyone would at least view my friend and I made. I love to edit and make stories for them. My IG is ftheart13otaku


PROLOGUE

The one they call Fang, he was born as a werewolf but his family was slaughtered by the one they called “The Alpha” who goes around killing ever stronger opponents to gain their power. So Fang grew up as an orphan and wandered. Until one day, a man named Uchiha found him and gave him the cursed seal so he could kill and steal others powers to become stronger.

Fang traveled around in Japan to search of others with great power so that he may defeat and steal their power. Fang eventually settles in Tokyo where he befriends a teenage boy named Kai. Fang and Kai grew up together, who is currently a high school senior. Kai is Fang's only real friend because everyone can tell Fang is different but Kai seems to know why. Even then, Fang keeps his distance because he always hunts for stronger opponents to fight with so he can take their strength, and eventually kill The Alpha and take his power as well.

Sisters Miyuki and Yuko Fallenheart happily lived their young lives with their loving mother. However on a night that forever changed their lives, a creature called the Alpha attacks their home and slaughters the young girls mother in front of them. While protecting the little sister, Yuko, from the devastation, Miyuki uses her mother's spell to set fire to the house trying to trap and kill the creature but, The Alpha escapes and the two sisters were forced to watch as their whole lives burned to ashes. The Fallenheart family was shattered after the incident, and Yuko witnessing the death of her mother, swore to take the monster's life that destroyed her family.

Chapter 1

In a normal fine afternoon in Miyuki's work, she learns that in Tokyo there is an urban legend about a guy named Fang, who is known as the Demon Wolf. As she was listening to a teenage boy and her boss conversation, she learned that Fang earned the name by his slaughters of demons and monsters, which includes werewolf Alphas. She then told this to Yuko later that day, and so Yuko tries to look for Fang to get more information about The Alpha the next day.

When Yuko arrived at the Teriyaki shop of where Miyuki worked, she sees Kai, a classmate of hers in her math class, seating at the stalls ordering for his food. She then looked for Miyuki in the shop. She was informed by Miyuki that she had heard the legend from the person who was the only one in the stalls. Shockingly, Yuko went towards Kai and greeted him. When both were having a conversation about Fang, a man with his hood on had entered the shop. Kai called out to the guy, and introduced him to Yuko that he was Fang.

Miyuki and Yuko were surprised to learn that the so called Demon Wolf was only 19 and hangs out with high school students. They tried to talk to Fang but he just shrugs them off, and Kai keeps to himself as the girls try to get Fang to speak. When Fang tries to leave, Yuko got mad and pulls Fang's hoodie which reveals the curse mark on his neck. Miyuki was shocked to see the curse mark, and told Yuko to end it and leave them alone. However Yuko was now more convinced and motivated to make Fang spill what information he has about the Alpha.

Fang quickly covers his neck and leaves the shop, Miyuki was then calmed as she watches Fang leave. She then turned around to grab Yuko and tell her to go back home. However she sees that Yuko was not there anymore and learned from Kai that she went at the back of the shop after Fang left. Miyuki was going to go after Yuko, but Kai told her that he knows a better route to Fang's home.

As Fang starts walking back to his small apartment on the outskirts of Tokyo, he wonders and tries to figure out how the two girls knew about The Alpha, and why the younger one, Yuko, got so angry when he acted like he didn't know anything. But as he was thinking, he could hear the sound of light footsteps following him and the scent of fear.

In an instant, Fang moved with blinding speed and appeared behind Yuko and asked, "Now why is a little girl following me? Didn't your mother teach you better than to go out alone at night?" Yuko turns around to see a pair of Crimson red eyes in the darkness. She looked up into his eyes, and gulped down all her fears and went up towards him. "She didn't. She was burned alive, along with the rest of my childhood." As she spat out her words at him, in her mind she still hears the blood curdling scream of her mother as the flames devoured her.

Fang tilted his head as if to get a better look at Yuko, he looked into her eyes and saw a glimpse of what he thought was fear but was actually anger and thought to himself, "Heh, this little girl is burning with rage. Been so long to see such fire. Maybe I should have a little fun with her."

At the same time, Kai and Miyuki arrived at Fang's apartment but he was not there. Kai says to her, "Huh.. He should be her by now." Miyuki felt a chill go down her spine. She began to feel scared for her sister's well-being and asked Kai, "Please Kai. Where's does Fang-San usually go? I mean... Which road does he usually take to go back to his house?" So Kai thinks and replied, "He might be taking the long way to go through the back alleys of downtown Tokyo, he really likes those streets at night." So he takes Miyuki towards downtown Tokyo.

Meanwhile, Yuko loses it and tries to punch Fang, but he is so quick that he just grabs her arm and twists it behind her back making Yuko screeches in pain. Fang smiles in enjoyment and moves closes to her ear. As Fang is about to whisper into Yuko's ear, Miyuki arrives at the alley way entrance and Fang looks up and grins at Miyuki. Miyuki then watched in horror the way Fang was holding her little sister and tightening his grip around her, Fang smiled and bared his fangs and quickly bite down on Yuko's neck. Yuko screams in pain as blood gushes from her neck and stains her white shirt outlining her slim body with blood.

As Fang bit in Yuko's neck, she was not prepared for the pain that was bursting through her body. She felt as if she is being stabbed through her body, and her insides were taken out from within her. But Yuko then realized that it was not pain. It was an experience from another. Once she realized this, her last word before she fell to the concrete ground was "Miyuki.."

Witnessing her sister dropped like a ragged body within Fang's grasped, she then felt anger and despair. Miyuki returned to her senses and instinctively, ran towards Fang and punched him in the face. After getting punched in the face, Fang just grins and wipes Yuko's blood off his mouth and says to Miyuki, "Heh, her blood is sweet. I can tell she was a nice girl but I also tasted her anger and fear. How about I bite you too, huh? I already had a taste of your sweet little sister, so let my try you too."

Fang's grin got more sadistic and his eyes grew brighter red as his curse mark start to cover his face and body. Miyuki knew the blood lust had taken over and he was losing control. Miyuki puts her fists up and was ready to fight but Fang was just too quick and got behind her and lifted up part of her skirt to scratch her thigh with his claw, making blood dripped down her thigh and her legs got weak. Fang then licked Miyuki's blood from his claws. As she dropped onto her knees, she knew she had to use her skill no matter how she detested it if she wanted to save herself and her little sister from the True Demon Wolf. So she used her magic on her thigh to at least close the wound. However her strength does not return to her so she is too weak to stand back on her feet. She then heard a snicker coming from him. As she looked up, what she saw frightened her. His skin was turning dark as his curse mark wrapped around him and his eyes glow blood red within his dark hood, just like the color of her blood dripping from his lips and claws.

Fang chuckles sadistically, and grabs Miyuki by the throat and lifts her up, "Hehe, your not as cute as your sister but at least your a healer. I'll kill you and take your power." As Fang prepares to break Miyuki's neck, he got punched in the face with such force that he flies into the concrete alley wall. Miyuki falls to the ground with her skirt flying up as she lands, and she coughs for air.

She looks up to see her younger sister, with bloody and yet see through clothes. She sees that her knuckle that punched Fang's face was bruised and was covered with his blood, and what really caught her attention was Yuko's bright glowing yellow eyes. "Don't fucking touch her you bastard." Yuko screamed. She gritted her teeth as she looked down where Miyuki was, clothes all tattered up with blood on her chest. She tsk'ed and deathly glares at Fang who was beginning to rise up to his feet.

"Bastard.... I was going to help you fight the Alphas. But once you hurt my one family, your dead!!" She screams, and was ready to punch Fang again. Fang got up from the rubble as his blood lust fades and his curse mark recedes back to the seal on his neck. Yuko sees Fang get up and her small fangs and claws appear from anger. she prepares to fight and kill Fang. She attacks him with her newfound strength and speed, but Kai appears and points a strange weapon at her. Kai yells, "Don't move! I'm an agent within the Quinx Squad." However Yuko didn't listen making Kai shoots her. Yuko then felt a sharp pain on her thigh and drops to the ground unconscious....

End of Chapter 1
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