Gwynbleidd

Star Wars: Forged From Fire (KOTOR)

I'm interested! I'll have to brush up on my Star Wars lore though....

@void liege

Brush up friend, it's a lovely place. Don't get too lost in Wookiepedia tho, you might get stuck for a few hours.

Star Wars: Forged From Fire (KOTOR)

Sweet. Five total so far, I'll begin work for the OOC today/tonight and hopefully more people shall roll on in!

Star Wars: Forged From Fire (KOTOR)

Excellent, three already! Hopefully we can nab a few more before the OOC.

Star Wars: Forged From Fire (KOTOR)

Star Wars

The Knights of The Old Republic

Forged From Fire

"Revan was power. It was like staring into the heart of the Force. Even then, you could see the Jedi she would slay etched on her soul."
―Kreia

“The exhilaration, the euphoria, I felt as I streaked into the atmosphere, dodging self-guided projectile and beam weapons, was unmatched. A 80 kilometer plunge through the atmosphere, dodging and weaving, the outside of my armor glowing like the sun with the heat of re-entry. And with barely thirty meters to spare, I twisted and skimmed the surface, firing at the giant beam generators that were in my path. The explosion from that sent shockwaves that leveled the entire complex around it. It was the moment of my life.”
—Canderous Ordo

"Someday, you'll have to make a choice and there won't be any going back."
—Carth Onasi

“It is not the code of any order that define the individual, there is only you.”
—Anonymous

Introduction

Beyond the core, on the outer rim; there was a quiet storm. Under the banner of Mandalore The Ultimate, the Mandalorian Clans were united. Warriors with fire and blades written upon their bones, they rose to their former glory and surpassed it. Under a single code of honor forged in the fires of warfare, they found a purpose. There was a promise granted by a darkness hidden and veiled. Fight this war and the battle will blaze with burning glory. Against the Republic, the Mandalorians would have their ultimate opponent. A test worthy of their might, a conflict to hone their skills and paint their gravestones with the stories of celebrated exploits. Destruction, blood, death, the roar of engines and blaster fire… A war born in the secrecy of the unified clans, known by none except them.

The Republic and the Jedi lay still within the cozy confines of peace and what could be a golden age after the recovery from The Great Sith War, otherwise known as The Exar Kun War. Reluctant to join any conflict, the Jedi are more conservative than ever in the teaching of their students. Older masters who remember the seductive charms of Exar Kun look upon enthusiastic students who show a hunger for knowledge with suspicion. Yet, none know what waits on the outer rim. While padawans and knights learn the ways of the force on Coruscant, Dantooine and other Enclaves, the Mandalorians are preparing to strike at the Republic with furious push.

Times are changing again, and the blood-tainted tides will bathe the galaxy in a crimson rage never seen before.

What will your story be?

Basic Premise

Hello, everybody! Welcome to my roleplay, the first I’ve made in a significantly long time. Welcome to the grand and entertaining world of Star Wars.

What I want for us to have here is a long lasting, enduring, grueling, and rewarding journey. If this goes beyond my expectations, far beyond my expectations, we will not only get past The Mandalorian Wars; but also into the Jedi Civil War and perhaps the events that follow well-known from the two KOTOR games. The MMO doesn’t count, don’t come at me with such an abomination.

My plan here is that I will be controlling Revan, for story-telling purposes, and going through her challenges and changes (at a character level). I will be playing her as a girl as that was my most rewarding play through of the original game so there you have it.

Back on topic. What I want here is for us to begin as Republic soldiers wherever you might be in the galaxy. Though, I recommend us to be somewhat close so it’s easier to bring you in via DM-like posts I will be throwing in here. Soldier, mercenary, smuggler, Jedi. No one here will be Sith/Dark Jedi, at least not immediately. Every player will be on the Republic side. The dark forces of evil will be felt within the wars to come, so stay patient.

I plan on a sort of idyllic opening of life on the Jedi temples of Coruscant and Dantooine. Peaceful, playful, innocent like the playgrounds of a schoolyard. Bright minds are learning the ways of the force to become the paragons of virtue and justice in the galaxy. But, soon enough the holo-vids will come rolling in with the unexpected videos of Mandalorian attacks on Republic worlds on the outer rim. Vicious droid-beasts, and brutal warriors. Fear, confusion, these will take over the hearts of the bright minds rising as Jedi. The Jedi to become Revan serves a catalyst, urging her fellow students to join her and push the council to join the conflict. Her enthusiastic speeches and titanic presence win over the hearts and minds of the idealistic.

They will go to war, and war; as is wont to happen, is not what they expect. It’s not glorious, it’s not what they believed it to be from the histories they’ve read which are so often romanticized. Hails of blaster fire, landmines, bombs, fighter ships, battle cruisers, and blood… lots of blood. They will watch the men and women they grew up with die. Those they’ve loved, those they’ve once hated. In their trainings, many bonded, and in combat these ties are broken or stronger than ever.

To say it simply, I want this to be the Star Wars version of Vietnam.

Many characters will die, original characters that is. Other than Revan, other canon characters are welcome to be played. From Alek (Malak), to Carth, Saul Karath, Canderous, HK-47 (when the time comes), Bastila, The Exile, Atton, etc. I will choose whom I believe has the best submissions for said characters.

Fear not players, I don’t want darkness always. I want humor, and light heartedness where it may be appropriate. The laughter makes the heavy moments carry greater weight. Treat war with maturity, and the same goes with romance. Jedi will not be so quick to fall in love, but it damn sure will happen when they stray off the path into the conflict.

If I get enough interest and when this gets to the point of an OOC thread, I will post the character sheet and I expect you to pay attention to it. Put forth the effort in your sheet, quality over quantity of course. The more we figure out our characters now, the greater our experience shall be. And if this goes as I hope it can to its greatest potential… imagine the betrayal and heartbreak of our characters when some turn to the dark side for the Jedi Civil War.

Yes. I know. I’m quite cruel. I will swim in your tears with perverse joy! Ahem, anyway.

Feel free to say what you need to say, or ask me a question. A lot of this is planned to be original, of course. Some historical events from Wookiepedia will/may be included, but other than that; I plan for some pretty sweet missions and such. Though, remember, this is meant to be a highly character-to-character interaction based role play. The heart of this is the development of who they are as people. Who were they first, who were they in the middle of war, who were they after? Why did they change? How? When? What makes them passionate, etc., etc.

That’s it now for the interest check. When the time comes for an OOC, I’ll clean this up.

Starsong: A Peculiar Space Opera

Soooo, this is dope. Tentative interest mainly because I haven't truly role-played in ages! This has garnered serious interest from me though, first time in a while. I'll be looking out for the time being.

The Twelve Labours: General Discussion

<Snipped quote by Blitz>

I mean yeah, but remember a lot of my words probably suck.

@mdk

I may not be entering this one (unless I get a surprise in thanks to motivation) but... I'll be the judge of that (well, Terminal will be but you know what I mean).

I'll also leave the verbal termination to Terminal, he be good like that.

Bullying. Advice

Learn how to fight. If you can talk things out with a therapist, do it. Don't take pills. Work out at a gym. Run, every day or nearly every day. Find something you like and want to do in the future and dedicate your 100% to it but also don't forget a social life. Not everyone's an asshole. Notice the toxic people in your life and subtract them from your life. I don't know if this helps at all, but that's how I operate. The best revenge is success. Fuck them, do things for yourself.

RPGC #9: Rebirth -- voting and discussion

But Here It Was

Hey! You wrote a stand-alone story that's not directly tied to the contest topic. I approve. Not that I didn't like your works that worked directly within the parameters in a clever fashion, but I definitely prefer your stories that can breathe outside of it. As always, the imagination is here. To me, I typically feel (personal view) that you improve each time out. This should probably happen on reading and writing again and again and again and again (AND AGAIN UNTIL YOUR FINGERS BLEED)! Lol. Okay, maybe a bit extreme but you get the point.

You started off strong. Dropped us into the world, it didn't feel as you overly assaulted us with descriptive language. I wouldn't mind if you did because I like to do that. Felt more or less a good balance, we didn't dwell on it too much and forget that a story is about to be happening. Dead world, then we got the smoke that ultimately brought life back to the planet. Life returns, the original species has a second chance and the humans leave. We have life reborn from the death of a planet. A new hope if you will. All good things.

Onto the cons. The strength of the beginning fizzled out from the middle towards the ending. For me, at least. First, a thing about showing vs telling in the beginning. You said 'the city was entirely deserted' after you said there was no soul to be seen. Then, you said it was a 'rather bleak place, indeed'. We already got those two things from previous descriptions. Those bits felt like repetition that was unneeded, and it was also told. We already see that with the death and barren nature of the ruinous planet. Also, with the greens and blues, I was cool with that. But, there was a three line paragraph that used the word blue three times. A single word in close proximity can be jarring and irritating to a reader. Try to find a different way to get the point across, perhaps there was something else we could focus on. Think metaphors, or whatever you choose that fits. It was important that the sky was becoming blue again, but I feel like we missed out on a better way to express it.

My one big con is the lack of conflict. Dead world, things come to life, species returns, humans leave. Done. Happy ending, at least, maybe a happy ending depending on what the superiors think of those aliens returning from the supposed dead. It was too easy for me. I felt cheated out of a victory. In any story, I usually feel like I can pinpoint a conflict. With this lack of one, it didn't have the effect I would have desired. We should all feel rejuvenated, but I didn't. I felt like I achieved something through a loophole, and didn't harvest the fruits of my labor. That's just me. I did enjoy where you were going with this and your imaginative worlds are enjoyable for me to spend some time in. Conflict, improved dialogue which would benefit from building your characters a bit more, and minor stylistic changes. I did enjoy reading this, and I will continue to read your entries happily!

Season Saga

I have the same problem here as I did with the above story. Lack of conflict. Get to that in a moment. Some stylistic questions first. The quotation marks over "kids" can be justified because we can probably assume they are not as young as kids, and probably no longer kids. Around "husband", however... It feels strange, it reads strange, and I don't understand it. I'd wonder why you put it there. What was the reasoning? As of now, I can't see any reason for it and it draws my attention as though it's meant to be focused on and dissected. However, I don't really know what I should be dissecting. This all seems rather straight forward, and drawing my attention to that drags me away from the other important things within this piece. I feel other readers may feel the same.

What this is, is a portrayal of family life in the winter. Inside, away from the cold, sharing hot cocoa. It's a nice feeling, it's warm. I like that. But, lack of conflict. Didn't get a sense of it, didn't feel like I read anything that came to a conclusion. Cliffhangers are cool, depending the context. This just, faded out. Just another day with the family. No resolution, it just was and because it simply existed it didn't feel meaningful as this should be. This is just me speaking, others may disagree. I feel like you need some string of conflict floating throughout in any story.

You have the talent, fixing a few structure, stylistic choices, and grammatical issues... And you've got something real good. If you can capture that sense of family life, people will stick around to read. Thanks for entering the contest, and I hope you keep coming on in.

Rising Embers

I like reading your poetry. Always tends to be a little bit more than meets the eye at a first glance. I can see how people could see this as a seasonal poem, and could pass off as one as well. But, the title of Rising Embers is more than fitting. Sentinel was a rather wonderful choice of wording. Standing tall, these trees, they are the guardians of these forests at their posts. Watching over the life of the planet. The wolf being the fire that devours the green and the wood, I love that. You also fit within the scheme of the topic with ease here. A child being the seed of the tree, lost in the destruction and finding a home under the dirt to grow again. Life after death, indeed. Your metaphors and imagery are subtle and understated, but very effective. No real rhyme, meter, etc., but I don't care too much about that unless you're intending to go for that. I quite like free verse (when it's well done), and I write it frequently myself. 'They Soon Meet' was out of place. It was. Compared to your other language it was unremarkable and didn't do anything to add to the poem, it simply acted as a throw in to get into the next stanza. Target those, eliminate them, and change them. Otherwise, this was very good, and deserves recognition as being one of the better entries this contest.

More to come.

Wandering Words

The Classroom

The here,

Mark sleeps with the tombstones,
but these memorials are not rock; they are paper.

Rest in peace
to the books existed, in nonexistent existence
whose pages lay scattered and crumpled
in a graveyard of forgotten fictions;

Wasteland, we are waste
all waste, we are

That’s what Mark says to himself,
sometimes.

He sinks beneath the surface of the unmade,
drowning in the screams of his murdered--

Thoughts, seas diseased with tremendous ease--

Chalk dust pollution, mechanical voices,
do as we say, but…

Kill the self, drink the honey and play
with us, we know, we know--

Thoughts, accept this cell block
and the warden at the front
who tells but one thing always,
recite, repeat, rinse the blood,

There is no self but the selfless,
-ish does not belong,

Open the notebook.

How to be a good person, chapter one,
nature doesn’t matter
never disagree
feelings are better than sense
speak freely, but don’t speak these words

(Logic enters stage left)

(Logos whispers:

Do you ever wonder
why this place seems to buzz,
like a hive?

Don’t talk. Don’t play too rough or too much

Listen, only.

What are the words of a child,
with no experience or age

Yet, they teach Jane Eyre.)

(Logos laughs)

Child Mark raises a hand,
wonders aloud"
No, that’s a stupid question.

But why?

It just is, and what is always is, there is no why.

“Oh.”

Laughter from twenty-three classmates,
he’ll grow up one day.

(Logos gets stabbed, twenty-three
daggers of passionate newspeak)

Kill the self! Kill the self! Kill the self!

(Logos gets dragged away,
his final words echo inside the mind,

is listening suicide?

Yes.)

(exit stage right)

The now,

Sorry, dear characters, it was not Mark
Who aborted you, the poison vial belonged
To the twenty-three

The doctor said a combination of letters,
ADD to the HD

Pills will make him see.

It’s depression, take these scripts,
Multiples

They overlap, don’t kill yourself, think of others

What would they think?
What would they
What they
They

Hello, this is the Not-News News Tonight-day (as not to offend the day),
Tragedy hits home as Mark Anthony visited the next life with the help of nylon and a bannister, this is the 30th self passing away of the month, how truly sad, now onto the absolutely despicable and outrageous shirt this man wore at his job, words don’t do justice to this injustice.

RPGC #9: Rebirth -- voting and discussion

@vote goes to "I was not always a frog"

This was hotly contested between that entry and "The God in the Cave". Two rather well written pieces, oh! I can't forget "Love Isn't Love."

Seriously people, you rocked it this week. You're all quality, and there's so much improvement you can make that I love it. The potential of the writers who go into this forum contest is mind-boggling to me. Anyone else feel that way? We got some talent up in this RPG place. REPRESENT!

God in the Cave presented me with a wonderful fantasy-esque medieval world. The supernatural and basically demon fighting in essence, but it's a lead in to a greater story following her on her path of vengeance as a warrior of a different God perhaps? But, more for her revenge in any case. I love that. Reminded me a bit of the Daenerys bit with the old sorceress and Khal Drogo. Not that you write in a Game of Thrones-y fashion, but the tone was similar. Great stuff, I will be providing a larger review later.

Love Isn't Love is a frank, to the point bit on love. It's honest. It's true. It's difficult, yet they manage to grow older and not run away from the hard things; but go forward. Love ain't easy, but it's beautiful when you get your victories. Also, the realness. Especially that bit of longing having that imagination of someone you love getting married/being with someone else when you felt like your mistakes weren't going to be permanent. That whole bit on the imaginary woman from Estonia. Brilliant. Many things you can still work on, I'll get to that in my reviews at a later time.

And you Mr. Frog... That was beautiful. The repetition of the phrase was well handled. Right on the money with the theme, and in a wonderfully unique approach to it. Reincarnation and having that sense of humanistic thought. The narration is wonderful. Excellent use of perspective. This felt like something I would read as a short story in a magazine, published. Look, you've got a clear talent and it appears to be well-honed. Yes, please. To all of this. Hopefully I can provide more critical thought when my full review comes.