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  • Last Seen: 7 yrs ago
  • Old Guild Username: HaloAssault
  • Joined: 12 yrs ago
  • Posts: 1979 (0.44 / day)
  • VMs: 1
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    1. Halo 12 yrs ago

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PLEASE NOTICE ME HANK-SENPAI

Most Recent Posts

Dervish said Halo, if you have Steam or Skype, hit me up. We'll become BFFs and frolic in the meadows or something! You're one of those guys I get along with super well but don't talk to outside this forum. Let's fix that shit.


It shall be glorious. We shall become the unicorns of happiness our Newguild avatars once were.
I have both but am never on either. Still, I'll PM you my username on both.
47. Does no one realize that Jorick's D is actually really small and insufficient. He simply uses witty words to make up for it.
When we refer to Jorick's D, we're referring to his intellectual D. His e-peen, if you will. In other words: his wittiness is what makes his D so dongtacularly huge.

48. What is Nat's greatest contribution to spam?
Honestly, giving people something to bitch about. Spam as a whole needs to complain, and Nat's taken the hit for the team a lot. I respect him for not getting pissed off at Spam despite that, actually.

55. If the next 'Nice Guy' Killer was a spam member, who would it be and why?
Thoroughly not okay question. 'Tis a little soon, friend.

58. How the fuck do you get pi anyway?
Somebody stop me before I maths everywhere. Nope, too late.
There are multiple ways to calculate pi. I don't know what the most efficient is, but there are several infinite series that, with each successive term, calculate pi to a more accurate degree. My personal favourite, though, is Buffon's Needles. There's a Numberphile video on it here.

59. Why does Drakel have the audacity to list himself above Jorick in intelligence?
Everyone measures intelligence differently, and everyone thinks they're smarter than they are in relation to others. I certainly do

60. Would you participate in a spam orgy? How would that go?
Depends who's involved. If everyone in Spam, fuck no. It would be a disaster.

61. Smiral. Is Slipknot good?
Not addressed to me, but the answer is yes.

66. General spam question. What can I do to not get overlooked so damn much? I appear sometimes, but when I do, usually I'm treated the same way as when I'm not posting. As in: Not there. It's pretty annoying sometimes.
Honestly, that happens to almost everyone at first. Just be persistent - not eager, but persistent. Eventually people will recognise your name and set - though whether for positive or negative reasons is up to you.
Doivid said
17. I have some questions for all spammers. Who is your favorite person in Spam? Who do you wish would post more often? Who would you consider having a romantic relationship with?


A. Favourite person who regularly posts is probably... Jorick? Don't know him that well on a personal level but I enjoy his humour and his frequent calling of others' bullshit. He's also capable of carrying a serious conversation as well as usual banter, which is good. Same goes for Dervish, actually. I'm also fond of Smiral after good times on TC years back, although she's far too cool to actually finish a conversation with me these days. I don't really know many Spammers on a personal level anymore, unfortunately.
B. I wish Grif would post more often though, because he's my favourite foreverandever. :3 There are a whole bunch of people I'd like to see around more often, though.
C. I'm never getting into a long-distance relationship again, and certainly not through Spam again. Was not fun last time and I have the impression the results turned some folk against me (maybe that's just me, though.) All the same problems as dating in the office or within your friend group, plus Spamdrama... no thank you. I'd have to get to know them thoroughly outside of Spam first, and it couldn't be long-distance again.
Doivid said
20. This one is open to anyone to answer. Fuck, Marry, Kill, all people in Spam available as answers, who would you pick for each one?


Fuck: Smiral. Same age as me, awesome taste in music, and a very attractive young lady. There're others I would, but most of them wouldn't be comfortable with a declaration of attraction from a 17-year-old.
Marry: It'd have to be someone I know on a more personal level, and as I said, I don't know many people here on that level anymore. So, I suppose Grif again. :D
Kill: Ah man, there's a few. Feel a bit mean singling people out, though.
Doivid said
22. Turtlicious, what happened to you, you used to at least be literate

Yeah, I'm wondering about this too. I can only assume it's intentional.
Doivid said
28. If you had to be stuck in a room with another spammer for 5 years, and then after that time was up you had to kill them, who would you pick and why? Also, don't be a bitch, no equivocation about not killing them, follow the hypothetical mandates you little shit.

Honestly, I might pick Nat, just because I'd love the chance to get to understand him. But for the sake of maintaining my sanity, I'd choose any of the members of Spam I could trust to be consistently interesting and amusing to be around, as well as fairly laid back so we don't end up killing eachother before the allotted five years.
Doivid said
32. Question for oldfags: which of the new spammers (those who first showed up after Guildfall) do you like the most?

In accordance with what many have said, I like Barioth. And I'm gonna throw Lucian in here, because although he's been around for yonks I've only really seen him generally frequenting Spam more recently.
Doivid said
39. If you got to throw two spammers into a gladiatorial arena and make them fight to the death, who would you pick? Who do you think would win, and why? Would your answer change if they were allowed weapons and armor instead of just brawling with bare hands?

Jorick and Drakel, 'cause they seem to loathe eachother so much. Jorick'd win. There are oh-so-many amusing pairings though.
Doivid said
40. Can someone explain spam humor to me?

It's generally very dry humour. Sarcasm, mockery and wit are encouraged. Pop culture references too (don't deny it.)
Doivid said
41. Who are the five smartest spammers?

Stupid question, so immediately whoever asked this is discounted.
Firstly, there are a ridiculous amount of ways to measure intelligence. Secondly, you're assuming people demonstrate their full intelligence in Spam, which (I can only hope to fuck) isn't what happens. I mean, academically I'm pretty smart - considered by Cambridge, offer for 5th best uni in the world, named 2nd top debater in Scotland and Northern Ireland, etc. But I haven't made a single list here - because people measure intelligence in different ways. And also because I, and probably many others, don't exactly put my best face on in Spam. It's a place to relax, to get away from the pressures of school or work or whatever - to get away from intellectual workloads.
Doivid said
44. Why is Nargle mean lately?

She hasn't been.
In Tea. 12 yrs ago Forum: Spam Forum
My mother just made tea for everyone and accidentally made one cup too many. I feel my comment adequately affirms my Britishness.
"I'll happily have two cups of tea."
In Sometimes... 12 yrs ago Forum: Spam Forum
... I try other forums, just to see what they're like. Then I realise that as stupid as Spam can be, it's so much better than anywhere else.
Please never leave me. ;-;
Larfleeze said
Please stop, I have Pogonophobia, u guiz


Then I promise not to discuss pogo sticks.
Jorick said
Yeah, anyone snooping around just thinks I'm really into science and debate. It's nice.Why would you call it disturbing? I already had a natural attraction to beards and mustaches, so it came as a natural fit. It's still super innocuous though, because I can just go watch Mythbusters clips on Youtube and it still looks perfectly natural in my browsing history.


Whereas we all know you actually loathe science and debate.
I'm not talking about a fetish for facial hair on people. Just the facial hair alone. Floating there. Watching. Waiting. Unpleasantly sticky and matted.
Lucian said
I'm flattered, but I frequently worry that it is indeed a joke. Remains to be seen, I guess.


I wouldn't worry about it. Having a "profile" here isn't really required to enjoy it and participate. I've been in Spam for over 2 years and I'm just about recognisable to most people, but not everyone, never mind having a reputation or some shit. I still enjoy being here.
Drakel said
You miss the fact that I said that it was just some period joke to begin with, which I shown to admit when I responded to idle.I'm rather shocked that you even once believed that I was ignorant to believe that a woman can't be angry on her own right. Also, I wasn't apologizing to you, even though I was originally talking to you to begin with and admitted to being wrong and the apology was to Nargle.


I'm just busting your balls. Making a point, as I like to do.
TP said
2009 and below is the true master race my friend.


Pfft. We all know the original members of the pointless thread such as myself are the true master race. /sarcasm
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