IntPenDespSword

GAME: Crush A Wish

Granted, you now can use stars as a mode of transportation. They aren't really fast, nor comfortable.

Ok, intelligent alien life. After years of travelling, you come across a barren planet, mechanized by an AGI. Thankfully for you, it has no intention using the atoms in your bodies or on Earth, but it only wants to talk about the societal impacts of r/dankmemes. It has a great understanding of human society, and stays rational and on topic. Sure, knowing the societal impacts of r/dankmemes doesn't help humanity much, but it's some content.

Also expansion of the universe happens

I wish for a single artificial general intelligence to be made on Earth, with its only goal in mind being to increase the ratio of pleasure to suffering, all largely according to each person's individual values, while ending as few lives as possible, not visibly altering human biology into unrecognizability, and keeping the overall society comparable to its current state.

I am NOT okay with this.

Some of those are a bit of a stretch, but I loved the last minute or so

WHY DO WE NOT HAVE RATINGS FOR SAD THINGS

MAHZ GET ON IT

GAME: Crush A Wish

Granted, you no longer exist in the physical, measurable universe as neither do the superhero you got the body of.

It was that of Robin, by the way.

I wish for absolutely every living organism of the species Homo Sapiens inhabiting the planet known to said species as "Earth", located in orbit around a medium-sized star with seven other planets and three dwarf planets, to receive the ability to think completely rationally and free of bias, only under the influence of emotion if the matter at hand is sufficiently simple.

AAAAAHHHHH TENNO HEIKA BONSAI

trees

GAME: Crush A Wish

Granted. The planning phase started three years ago, required more flour and sugar than was currently on the planet, and will plunge you miles deep in diabetus if you manage to eat it all, but your specially requested 10 ton cookie is finally complete., delivered straight to your doorstep. Bon appetite.

I wish for plants to, at death, instantly transmute into their mass in sugar cubes.

Tell a story, five words at a time!

In the land before time, Littlefoot's mom, depressingly enough, died. But he had memes so all was well. Until Megatron laser cannoned the fire nation, destroying many cabbages and causing Littlefoot to become a powerful earth bender after Cera was brutally flung across the ocean. "By the power of Greyskull," the flaming homosexual wombat exclaimed, as he slipped and fell, only to be caught by a hopeless romantic trying to figure out the meaning of extraterrestrial existence in bed. Then he realized that without cheese, he could not feed his grandmother so he bought some power metal, pure cheesy goodness. However, Littlefoot was a metalbender, meaning the power metal could

GAME: Crush A Wish

Granted. "I hope you like my cookies, they were made just for you
With a little bit of sugar and lots of poison too"

I wish for acid to no longer rain from the skies of Venus, without simply being transported somewhere else.

Tell a story, five words at a time!

In the land before time, Littlefoot's mom, depressingly enough, died. But he had memes so all was well. Until Megatron laser cannoned the fire nation, destroying many cabbages and causing Littlefoot to become a powerful earth bender after Cera was brutally flung across the ocean.

GAME: Crush A Wish

Granted. The wish crushing one, however, is still up and going. Still, there are no wishes to grant, so.

I wish for a bar of chocolate to be placed somewhere within my jurisdiction and reach, without immediately obstructing biological processes. Said bar of chocolate is to be taken from one of the three largest chocolate making corporations on Earth, yet the bar considered my property. The bar is of an existing flavor composition I like.

Neverending Tale (Game)

At least now we know what these scorpions are made of.

Since we somehow managed (or at least tried to) kill Clyde, I have no better advice than to

> use Air Swipe again.