ImagineTheStars
SkyeOfStars
Not a Sayan
redrootssss
ThatLostDudeWilsonTurner said
WIP
Okay... So. There is one huge thing which I want to say now, because unless you change that I won't allow you in here. I know that's very bluntly stated, but there are standards: Your background. I require at least ten times the size of a background. As I wrote in the character sheet template your background is the blueprint for your entire character, and you should be able to take EVERY aspect of your character, look in your background and find a reason for why it's there. His ability to wield duel war axes? How did he learn that? Where? Where did he learn to ride? To joust? Where did he live? What was his childhood like? Who taught him how to use the crossbow, lance, pike, and so on? You have literally nothing of this even though I made it perfectly clear that it's required. I would also like to reiterate that this is an advanced RP. My personal standards aside, you are still required to make a proper effort as pr site rules.
Read the other character sheets, take a look at their backgrounds and you will get an idea of what is necessary to put in.
Now, from the top.
First is his appearance: You're making him far too tough for a Demon Class. While most Demons are relatively tough, none of them have a defense as powerful as your guy's. If you want that kind of toughness, I suggest increasing his size, reducing his speed, and make him a Titan Class instead. What you seem to want is a Demon Class with Titan qualities, and that's a no-go.
His abilities: He has a little magic in his human form, but since he's primarily a physical Demon Class, he won't really have anything aside from being slightly faster, stronger and tougher. So he can't spit poison as a human: He just doesn't have the ability to do so.
His powers, also, does not match. He's a Demon Class, so it's only natural that he would be faster than other Shifters, but this whole "unit" thing does not match with the Manticore mythos. There are accounts of them having some sort of fiery breath, shooting spines like arrows from its tail etc., but not a "suddenly faster because units."
Finally there's his personality. He seems strangely unbalanced, as if something about him is really fucked up (pardon the language). Again, why is he like that? I find it hard to believe that someone like him would be accepted into the Academy based solely on how he can go from socking someone in the jaw to hugging them and singing a lullaby for them.