Kote

[ ♕ ] - c o l l i d e. // smoke & gasoline.

Well, I'd have offered an invitation, but distance is what it is, and all that jazz. It wasn't all I had hoped it was going to be anyways. The weather did not afford us much more than rain. Here a shower, there a shower. All day for days indoors, peering at the grill as it's getting rained on, just wishing I could go out and light it. Hell, I got so desperate that once I tried, inbetween showers. Even put hamburgers on it. Had to take them off 10 minutes in though because the rain was falling too hard. I was drenched. My kids were laughing at me, but I didn't care, I was determined. Damnit.

A brilliant post though! Wonderfully executed! I loved it. I heard that if you say a thing three ways, that makes it ultimately true, yes? Well, maybe not, but the praise is deserving. Bravo. She did end up on a sour night, but alas, she'll probably wake up with sore and scrapes and not remember too much more of it other than vague images and foggy recollections, and those don't really hurt too much. We shall thank Danny's "medicine" for that. I had to admit, I enjoyed his part of things too. I was starting to feel bad for him, thinking he actually really cared for her, until about mid-way through, when you pointed out it wasn't actually for her, but more himself. He wasn't upset because the possibility for losing someone he loved, but someone he saw as his. My sympathies started to wane a little after that. =)

[ ♕ ] - c o l l i d e. // smoke & gasoline.

That’s how I feel about it. I mean, it has happened where stress has diminished my desire to play, don’t get me wrong, but most of the time, I seek it out to get away from what’s bothering me. I want to write because I need that outlet to voice and deal with my frustrations. It’s a great way for me, at least, to vent just raw emotion, so that I can look back at the problems that are facing me, with something of a calmer, more level head.

A parent is a parent. Whether it’s growing up to fast to help with a sibling, or having one of your own, or adoption, it’s all the same understanding. Love is love, knowing that you have to sacrifice and pay heed to what’s best for the little one is the same no matter the loins from which they sprung. Though, I do think it says a lot about you to have done that for your sister. She’s very lucky. And yeah, I can imagine how awkward that must be, having your sister as your employee. I’ve managed a few different type places, and having a brother of my own, I couldn’t imagine having to impose myself as that authority on him. but it works yeah?

Yes, lets. A constant push to get better, to top the last post. I do much prefer that to the opposite trend. I’ve had partners who have suggested easing off on the longer posts, in lieu of quicker turn arounds. I don’t quite like that. Not that everything always has to be long to be well written, but I don’t like sacrificing quality and length for a quicker posting time. So that’s our goal. Step 1, get back to where we once were.

I’m working on my character sheet for a little bit. I forget we had a long weekend coming up, and it’s one of those holidays where I typically clean the house up really well, then then yard, then grill out, get drunk, and show back up at work on Tuesday hung over but happy as all get out. At least, in a nutshell, that’s my plans for this weekend. Might take the children to the Angry Birds movie. What about you? Any big plans?

[ ♕ ] - c o l l i d e. // smoke & gasoline.

No problem, I can handle worry. I’m good at affirmations. But as far as my desire to write, I don’t normally lose it due to stress. It’s quite the opposite. The more stressed I am, it seems the more I want to write. It’s a method of escape, getting away from what is troubling me, and existing without it for a few blissful hours. It’s therapy.

He will be 8 soon. Everything’s working itself out with him, with a little bit of understanding on my part, and some acceptance of boundaries on his. Sometimes it’s easy to forget the need to talk, and just react to things that happen, especially as a parent. I’m trying to adjust the knee jerk reaction to be asking why something happened, instead of attempting to deal with making sure it doesn’t anymore. And he has to work on telling me what’s going on, instead of keeping me in the dark. It’s a work in progress.

I love music. I can never get enough of it, so you’re idea of blowing me away, haha. I think I could handle it. So don’t feel like you need to hold back. I’m a fan of all kinds, from classical, to Metallica… Nightwish to Randy Travis. My taste is broad. Right now, I ‘m listening to Saliva. So bring it on.

Thank you for the compliment. I do try to please, and it is my intent. I do feel that I’ve yet to get back some of my old flair. I used to be able to emotionally invest partners in my writing. More than once I was threatened with messages like, ‘if you make me cry one more time!’ or the like. It was a goal of mine, to see if I could move people such directions. But I’m not quite there yet. Yet.

To further our collection of music, and to give a little taste of what I’m thinking with a new character, I’d like to submit “Famous Monster – Saliva” for the collection. I also believe, that if you haven’t heard the song Pet – A Perfect Circle, you’ll be richly rewarded to listen to it as well. Pet is just sinister, but subtly so. I quote from the song: “Pay no mind to what other voices say, they don’t care about you, like I do. Safe from pain, and truth, and choice, and other poison devils…” or “I’ll be the one to protect you from, a will to survive, and a voice of reason”.

I want to write a character inspired by that song. The manipulation suggested would be fantastic to explore, as well as a stark sense of dominance in the song. I think I may add it into the character I’m creating. A man with a very dark secret at home… locked in her room.

Halloween is an awesome idea. It would fit perfectly with the setting, and bring a reason for the party, make it seem less out of place. I'm thinking my new character will host it. so I'll put him up shortly, within the new few days.

[ ♕ ] - c o l l i d e. // smoke & gasoline.

Cadian Shirai

I want you to know I am fine here without you, but I can’t bring myself to lie to you…

[ ♕ ] [ ♕ ] [ ♕ ]

The music was palpable. A living, breathing, fighting, crying entity that seemed to range the vast spectrum of emotion, drawing the crowd along for the ride. First anger began things. The fiery notes rang out to create a powerful emotion, to draw the crowd higher, to catch ears and attentions, to burn away the youthful energies of his crowd in order to make them malleable for further molding. The guitar strummed, the drums hit hard and fast, and Cadian’s heart pound nearly as fast and hard as the crowd. Their hands up in the air, their eyes looking up at him, watching as they jumped. Thouse who knew Wither, knew what Cadian was about, lifted themselves higher than the rest, giving to his manipulations, understanding that the greater the elevation, the higher the elation when the descent came. The music raged against the oppression of The Badlands, raged against the unfairness of it all, the cold hearted nature of the world beyond the walls, the world that died away with the falling of the skies, and the dying of the sun.

Cadian noticed little while he strove to raise his crowd and create the fire in which he would set them to burn. His fingers moved quickly on the neck and strings, flying with ungodly, inhuman speed, the music flowing from his fingers as though without thought, for surely there was no time for the mind to relay instructions, the fingers did it all, from memory. By the end of the first song, his forehead already beads with sweat, his chest already heaves, as he rolls the first song directly into the second. A slower melody, but just marginally so. Lyrics flashed through his mind, driving out all else, as his eyes lifted from the first time from his fingers, to scan over the crowd before him. Heads struck violently into nothing, as bodies struggled to contain their energy, his energy, to the small space between the ones surrounding them. Bodies clashed together, the heat of their energies, the power of his music driving their bodies into chaotic dances of lust, power and strength. He griped them, with words drove them onward, spicing his music with their sweat, their roars of empowerment and strength. They climbed, and Cadian’s fingers suddenly stopped.

Silence hung as he eyed the crowd, sweeping his gaze from one individual to another. His fingers turned at thumbed screws at the top of his guitar, as his deep, earthen eyes met with the windows of countless souls. From one to another, he swept his gaze, watched as their chests heaved in response to his music, watched as fingers drummed impatiently against pant legs, as bodies high on the energy, the life and warmth of his sound, found it difficult to hold still, found the waiting unbearable. He heard voices call out, he ignored them. Passed his eyes again, and this time, it was his turn to catch a breath.

She stood there, jackets about her shoulders, charms glinting the bright light flashing in streams from the stage, reflecting glints through metallic flecks in her eyes. Katja used to stare at him in the same way. His fingers began to strum again. Already, within the first few notes, it was obvious that melody and art would mark this set more than raw energy and power. The notes danced on different threads than before, slower, calmer threads, that seemed to smother out the flames of the first set. But the crowd fell into it. Their energies spent, given to the music, their hearts opened, their souls bared without the protective flames to ward off his spell.

She had been his first victim. All those years ago. Katja and Yumi sat before his vision, the garage of his home surrounding him suddenly, as the music spills out into Passion. The loud echoes of his violent guitar rift fade into the stillness and melody of the same song he plays now. The guitar floats alone, the remainders of the band silent and still. The melody was haunting… "It’s like it withers away the energy you gave us,” Kate had told him so many years ago. Wither became a part of him that day.

Did she feel it too?, Cadian wondered, as he searched her face for signs that she understood what was going on with her. This was life. This testament to the nature of the world. Life was energy, and itw as withering. Waxign and waning, morning and night, young into old, death into life into death. Music was art. Poetry of sound, not words. He kept his eyes on her a moment more, taking them away before he thought he could start to feel them on her. In that moment, he had captured all he needed to recall her, to see her even as his eyes looked away to the man three bodies back on the left, or the woman swaying in the back corner, mostly out of her clothes. Had he spent even a few minutes more building up their energies, their passions, hers would have overwhelmed her, or the other woman she had been with, whomever was responsible for leaving her now swaying in a white lace bra.

Then Evan stepped forward, standing beside Cadian. All eyes had been on Wither’s front man, that Evan had been allowed to pass between the curtains, to put down the rhythm guitar, in exchange for the violin he played. Their exchange had been flawless. From hard, thrashing rock, to a ballad of softness and humility. The piano played, hidden by it’s black lacquered finish in the corner, now singing soft notes underneath Kry’s fingertips. The melodies melded together, coalesced as though three different dreams, from three different dreamers, merged into one thought, one perfect form of reality. Cadian’s eyes watched as the haunting melodies ripped open souls, drew out the pains and agonies from within. Cadian watched as the energy that had once burned so brilliantly, like hell’s flame, simmered and died to a low glow of cooling coals.

“And when your fears subside, and shadows still remain,” Cadian whispered, returning his eyes back to Alexia in time to see her head turned, her mouth kissed. It was like a cymbal crashed over him. The veil of the world he created by his music tore itself, as loneliness and remembrance came rushing back to him. Once he had kissed Yumi so… remembrance brought his eyes up, away from Alexia, to gaze towards the shadows of the bar, to that dark shadow where Kate used to stand. “I know that you can love me, where there’s no one left to blame. So nevermind the darkness, we still can find our way, because nothing lasts forever…” he drew silent, letting the last verse hang, letting the hearts and minds of those who knew the song whisper it to their souls, while he undid the guitar strap from around his shoulders, and laid the instrument down on the stage floor, and he sank down beside it.

The room went to pitch again, as Cadian closed his eyes, laid himself back against the hard wood of the stage, and let himself fall into the darkness.

[ ♚ ] [ ♚ ] [ ♚ ]

An hour after Wither left the stage, Cadian finally steps into the club’s common area again, from the door leading to the back stage areas, and offices. His earthen eyes cascade over the crowd, nodding to faces bearing eyes that meet with his. The desperation in which he left the club’s patrons has faded with some carefully selected remedies from the club’s producer. Though the emotions were forgotten, Cadian’s face was not. Everyone he came across gave him a knowing smirk. Women in the crowd approached, asking if he had plans for the rest of the night, for a dance, a signature on the slope of a breast, or the bare slope of their stomachs. Nameless faces came before him, pressing slender bodies against his. Hands pressed against him as he passed through the crowd with polite insistence, to break through the mass of bodies with as much of himself intact as was possible.

His jacket of black leather hung about his shoulders as he came to a stop in the crowd, ignoring the newest face to approach, looking the bodies over for one familiar. From the stage, Cadian had seen her here, around these parts, with a man Cadian believed was known as Danny. Of the women, he knew nothing, but rumor has it that this man, this Danny, was one who could acquire most anything you have a mind to have acquired. A talented and resourceful fellow of some renown in various different circles, thus an introduction that Cadian was also eager to make. But the woman was something of a haunting presence these last few hours, since having spied her from the stage. Try as he had done, her imagine wouldn’t leave his mind. Something about the way she looked up at him, something he thought he saw in her… he wanted to ask her what it was. Nobody’s ever looked at him like that. There was the typical awe that occurred when someone heard him play for the first time, but something else aside. Something this place has been so desperately devoid of these last few years: light.

His world was rain and darkness, sin and violence. Light was rare and precious.

Finally his eyes pass over the back of the man, and Cadian’s feet again start moving, pushing him through the throng of people crammed into the club. The night was young, and Cadian between sets, but he knew soon the heaviness of his thoughts would return. Soon this light he had found would fade, as it must, as the same thoughts that drove him from his dreams would return, the loneliness would return. Plans tonight would put him in Yumi’s bed, comforted by her slender arms. He would use her knowing that she used him in return, for mutual escape from the loneliness of their existence. This man offered another form of escape. Something that can make the days as livable as the nights. Kill the thoughts. Kill the need.

I’m tired of dreaming of her he told himself, as though having to justify his intentions to himself. I wish I’d never gotten involved. I should have run. Fled. I should have told her I had nothing to do with it.

Cadian caught up with Danny, coming to the man from the back, and as though they’ve known one another for decades, boldly Cadian put his hand upon the other man’s shoulder, clasping him firmly. When Danny didn’t stiffen under his grip, Cadian leaned forward, speaking quietly to the man of many talents. A whisper of hot breath onto his ear, letting the loud music of the club drown out his words to all but this man. We should talk, when you have a chance.”

He came to rest at the bar, set himself down on a stool before Yumi, his back to the rest of the room.
_{Guns'n'Roses - November Rain}

[ ♕ ] - c o l l i d e. // smoke & gasoline.

@Rockette

So sorry for the delay! I have an unedited portion of the post ready, but it's raw. I haven't had time to get it polished yet. My son has been a bit of a handful these past few days. Got himself suspended from school for a day for hitting, and the like, so I've been having to deal with that. I'm hoping to get something up here today, but if not then for sure by Friday! I don't want you to think I'm disinterested.

I'll give the music a good listening to this afternoon. I can't wait to. I love new music, and I've never heard of Motionless in White. Slipknot is awesome, and always so much fun to listen to.

Addition:
I posted it as it was. I hope the ending of the post isn't too abrupt or horrible. I was planning to add on, but I can do that with the next post. Again, sorry things got busy. life is life, yeah.

[ ♕ ] - c o l l i d e. // smoke & gasoline.

A wonderful post. I've read it three times now, and I keep finding that I'm sad it doesn't continue. Its always the sign of a good post when it doesn't seem to be long enough because you're disappointed it had to come to an end.

I don't I'll be able to fend off posting much more than tomorrow or Saturday at the latest. I'm so eager to do it I'm getting antsy now, knowing that I have to wait, but I've got homework to do today. I'm kinda of a life long student. I enjoy learning far to much to ever want to stop. I've got some homework to get done tonight. But tomorrow! Tomorrow will be a glorious day. I'm going to sit down, surround myself with Cadian's muse, turn out the lights, and write.

Do you watch anything currently broadcasting from the networks? I have a guilty obsession with a few shows these days. Gotham, and Game of Thrones are my biggest crushes, and a little bit of a thing for Once upon a time (though that one's just because I like the simplicity of it.. though the storyline gets quite complicated).

Any world with a depressed or dark theme has to have some Evanescence in it's soul. The soft, floating sound of Amy Lee's voice is chilling sometimes. Add it to the haunting quality of the piano, and My Immortal is a definite must. When I listen, I see signs and flashbacks of Cadian's friendship with Katja, and the inherent pain in the song is Cadian's.

Tomorrow Ash. I can't wait till tomorrow!

[ ♕ ] - c o l l i d e. // smoke & gasoline.

I agree with your statement about letting the character develop and grow in play, and I will never deem to correct a posted action of depiction of your character vs it's character sheet. I view character sheets as a rough draft of what the character was originally intended to be, NOT what the character is. There's always so much growth that happens when the character's form solidifies in the mind and takes on it's own life.

Music assists me as well. I find it influences the muse greatly. I've been known to list songs on posts, usually before or after the post as something of an aside, if I believe a particular song would help mood or interpretation of my work. I'll adopt the same idea here as well. Aside from that, If you're game, it may be beneficial ( not to mention interesting) to share song titles and authors to create something of a soundtrack to the Badlands. Not only would it help to assess mood and theme of the scene, but I think you can learn a lot about someone by what they listen to, and I have hopes that this play lingers a bit more than most.

I enjoyed the ideas expressed in your character sheet very much. The connection between Danny and Alexia, especially in a world like this, would be a precious thing indeed. Helps to define, at least in my mind, how they must value one another. I studied creative writing a little in the University, so I'm sorry if I'm analyzing too much. Old habits. =)

❛. ʀ ᴇ s ᴜ ʀ ɢ ᴇ ɴ ᴛ ☰ 【 hello. | » a (re)introduction. 】

@Ariamella

Welcome back.

[ ♕ ] - c o l l i d e. // smoke & gasoline.

Cadian Shirai

Have you ever wondered why
In a dream you can touch a fallen sky
Or fly to the heavens that watch over you

hollowman /\ pessimist /\ vocalist – Wither /\ sinner

---

Fears / Phobias

Losing, Failure, Claustrophobia

Appearance

Medium length dark brown hair atop a slender face. Cadian is average height for someone of eastern descent. His complexion is light, his skin smooth, youthful. He prefers dark tones of lighter colors (dark blues, deep purples) or earth tones to his clothes, and is known for long sleeves and baggy fits. His hands are heavily calloused at the fingers from long hours of picking at the guitar without a pick. His fingers are well muscled, hands wrinkled with veins, but long, nimble fingers. His nails betray his anxiety, possessing a short, bitten quality. His eyes are deep pools of molten earth.

Personality / History

Cadian is the lead singer of Wither, the brother of Krystopher Shirai. His parents are not living, having been murdered when he was younger. He doesn’t remember them, and doesn’t feel their absence on a daily basis. An aunt, who too recently passed away, raised him and his brother Krystopher. Music is his escape. Throughout his life, he’s found that when his emotions start to get out of control, music is an ointment to the wounds. He plays when he’s upset, composes when he cannot empty his mind. He’s cursed with the artist’s soul. His emotions are potent, worn just beneath the surface, and quite often come on him in debilitating strength and suddenness. Because of this, he’s prone to rash, unexplained action. Because of this, he’s developed a kind of ying/yang relationship with his brother, who he trusts to tell him when he’s holding on too hard, when he needs to let go. Krystopher is his emotional anchor, and Cadian is quite insistent in the thought that he cannot make it without his brother’s guidance. For this, he both loves and hates his brother.

Key Figures

Yumi Romanov was that individual whom Cadian believed to be 'the one'. A former lover, a once bright spot in Cadian’s life, perhaps the brightest his dim life had ever known. They had grown up next to one another, were fast friends as children, lovers when they became old enough to understand what that meant. Yumi owns Passion, the venue which Cadian’s group Wither plays. Though the two have had a falling out, it’s clear the attraction and memories still possess them both, drawing them together. It’s generally excepted by all who know the pair, that the two ‘come together’ from time to time to deal with their problems.

Katja Romanov is Yumi’s little sister, and perhaps Cadian’s best friend. Between him and Kate, there were no secrets. It was because of Katja that Cadian’s relationship with Yumi was ended. Several years ago, Kate was raped, came down with child. Still a minor, she was heavily influenced by her father, who upon hearing the child was a product of rape, demanded the child’s abortion. Katja didn’t want this, but knew she was powerless to defy her father. In order to save his friend, and the baby, Cadian claimed fatherhood of the child, telling Kate’s parents that he was afraid to admit the truth because of his relationship with Yumi. Tragedy struck when Kate was giving birth, and both mother and child perished.

Evan and Jorge Borges are the twins that form the other half of Wither. Jorge plays the drums, and Evan the rhythm guitar, as well as several other instruments needed in the creation of their music.

[ ♕ ] - c o l l i d e. // smoke & gasoline.

@Rockette

From PM

Sometimes I find them in a Google engine, sometimes I find that I already have them on stock. Daily I comb through the web for resources and such for my graphic works, but most of the ones I'm using for Collide are from Tumblr. Heh.

Also, I'm all for continuing in the ooc for the thread, unless you prefer the privacy we have here. Either is fine and well with me.

Your post was wonderful, it wasn't long winded at all! I love posts of varying lengths and prose and being a long-winded writer myself, it tickles me pink to see others who have that same penchant. You flatter me though! I don't think I could gather the patience to write a book and jealousy? Hah, that's misplaced, I want the flow of your style. Ugh.

Concerning character sheets, I'm still working mine. When I saw your post, I was so excited to get into the actual post that I put it on the back burner, but I'll get back to working on it today. Did we want to designate a specific format to use for the sheets? You spoke of a preference for appearance, and I believe they'd look good in a uniform template. Just something to think about. I'll post what I have when I get it finished, and if we want to go back and add a template to it.

I figure in the next post, I'll have him notice Alexia, and handle the rest of the performance until the first break, during which he'll climb down to try to find her but ending up incapable. Whether he simply can't because she's moving too much in the crowd, or she's gone, we will see. Then I think an introduction of Danny and Cadian's relationship needs to be shown. Currently, Cadian's anxieties are heavily playing on him, so he'll be wanting something of a downer.. I don't think Cadian and Danny will know each other especially well.. it'd be more like Cadian coming up to him, saying that he's heard that Danny's the kind of man who can get things.. Kind of establish them.

What would you think of a shout back to Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet? The idea is that the second or third scene is a party held at the O'Shea (?) estate.. an old fashion costume ball, where no faces are shown (to promote a sense of freedom). Perhaps our two could meet there first. Doesn't have to have the same star crossed lover's theme.. but just the idea of finding her, but not knowing that he's found her... Might be more effective if it's the third scene. Give another to play up the difficulty in connecting the pair. What do you think? Wouldn't be so nice a party as the one in the play. This is the Badland's after all. The masks are there to promote inhibition, to be free of ridicule and punishment for your sins.