Member
Cadian Shirai
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.… [ ♕ ] [ ♕ ] [ ♕ ]
“Evan, what is going on?” Cadian asked as he crossed the room to the other man. An hour ago, Cadian arrived at Passion, in his normal nondescript grey hoodie with it’s hood drawn, and his dark sunglasses, so that he could enter the building without being known. Yumi had found him almost immediately, as he thought she might. He woke up this afternoon with nobody home, her bed empty. His memory of the night before a memory that proved more forgotten fog than recollected images and feelings. He knew something happened, but what it was, the details of it were lost to him. He wanted explanation, description, or at least to know what had happened, could be forgotten. At most, he hoped it would be without burden of his sin actually being laid upon him, as selfish as that was. And there was something else. Something like out of a dream, a haunting pair of eyes that belonged to a face unnamed. Yesterday, he had seen her in the crowd for the first time, but had been too focused on his music, but his mind noticed. It had stored her eyes in memory, so hauntingly beautiful that they came at him from the depths of his thoughts. As he dreamed, a strange lucid dream of Technicolor backgrounds melting into tie-dye pools of spiraled color, her eyes had belonged to several woman, as though searching for the body for which they belonged. He had spent the night searching, to awaken this afternoon haunted by those eyes. He expected to discover he had muttered in his sleep. He spected Yumi to know somehow, to be angry with him. But when he arrived at Passion, he didn’t walk into the situation he had anticipated.
“Evan’s in the back Cadian. He’s been here all morning. I don’t think he’s slept at all,” Yumi spoke, obvious worry lacing the dark brown of her eyes, as she whispered between the pair of them. Whatever lay between them, he could feel it, but something else was taking precedent. Something else, Yumi decided, was more important. It was that fact that stirred up the concern in Cadian, that made him look away from Yumi, to the back room that would lead to Wither’s dressing rooms, in the labyrinth of back corridors and crossings cables that was in club’s hidden sanctum. Cadian took a step past Yumi towards the room, stopped as she quickly grabbed hold of his hand.
“I don’t like the feel of this Cadian. He’s not ok. And…” She exhaled, signing as she let his arm go.
“It’s ok Yumi. I’ll go have a talk with him, find out what’s going on,” Cadian spoke, gently, but careful not to touch her. There was still a heaviness between them, something unspoken. He was sure any physical contact would be unwanted, and would only serve to complicate matters more when they finally rose to the surface.
“I just… I don’t know,” she exhaled again, and to Cadian’s surprise, put a arm against his shoulder. “I just don’t have a good feeling about tonight.”
And Cadian had found Evan as he was, sitting on the sofa in the staging room, his eyes staring into nothingness. Cadian had spoken to him several times since arriving, but so far the other man hadn’t said anything other than he was alright, and that he was just tired. Yet he didn’t move to sleep. Didn’t make to get up or go. He didn’t yawn, or stretch or do anything that spoke of any sort of weariness. He just stared into the space between the tip of his nose and the floor, watching something unseen before his eyes, as though he were wrestling with the reality of it. When Cadian finally spoke again, Evan’s eyes look up from the floor, the first time in nearly half an hour, and those green orbs startled Cadian. Evan looked as though he were about to burst into tears, as though the only thing holding him together was a thing shred of dignity that was dissolving under the strain of keeping himself composed.
“It’s my turn,” he spoke in a voice that was half matter of fact, half broken. The man’s face didn’t seem to register his emotions, as aside from his eyes, which looked they could flood the room with unshed tears, his face was drawn and blank. Even his gaze, as broken and pained as it was, seemed to hold a distance to it,.
“Your turn for what?” Cadian asked, but he turned his eyes away, not capable of holding Evan’s stare anymore. “For God’s sake Evan, you look like you’re seven again and we just told you about the boogey man.” Cadian remembered that, poor Evan wouldn’t sleep for nearly a month unless someone dosed him with Benadryl, or Whiskey. He would just blubber about the monster’s under his bed, and the man coming out of his closet. Perfectly alright for a child, even though at the time Cadian didn’t seem to think so, but for an adult. There are things in this world that could cause a man such, but Cadian dreaded to think of what they could be.
“The ceremony,” Evan spoke, his tone masking a dull sense of obviousness, as though Cadian shouldn’t of had to ask. “My parents were so excited when they found out. Mother beamed. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so proud. Father’s already picking out his costume.” But there was terror in Evan’s voice.
“What ceremony? What are you talking about Evan,” Cadian spoke, his mind reeling with what the man was saying, trying to piece it together into one large, understandable story, but there were giant pieces missing. What is obvious to Cadian is that the man was terrified, if not half mad. Perhaps it was something he took, or something he drank. Absinthe or perhaps something new. The boys were always experimenting. “I’ll tell you what. I’m going to go get you a drink. Just wait here,” He spoke, though he didn’t really feel the need to suggest Evan not leave. He doubted the man would get up from that seat if the fire alarms were going off and the room filling with smoke. At least, not until someone came and bodily pulled him from it.
As he walked back into Passion’s common area, he pulled his cell phone from his pocket, mindless of the fact hat he’s not covered his head or face now. Quickly his fingers drag through the names of his contacts, searching for that of Evan’s brother, to see if he could at least find out what happened. The call went directly to voice mail, which Cadian quickly hung up on in disgust. The other was probably off somewhere in the same condition, suffering from the same affliction. He thought about calling an ambulance, but if the police were the first responders, instead of EMS, then Evan could be looking at some sort of legal trouble if he were on anything. He didn’t wish that kind of trouble on him. But he needed help, that was sure.
Cadian stepped through the crowd, pushing through as quickly and forcefully as he could manage, with as much urgency as he could muster. Several times he was stopped by someone trying to engage him in conversation, to tell him how much they liked his music, or were looking forward to his gig today. He caught several different names, from several different people, but he paid them no mind. Each time he was stopped, he simply muttered about being in a hurry, and a quick excuse for himself, and pushed on past. It took a few minutes to make it through the crowd to the bar.
“Have some water, and something to eat taken to the staging room,” Cadian told one of the workers, a young blonde headed woman named Tyra. "And don’t let anyone else back stage today. I’m going to go make an announcement here in a minute, after I find Yumi and talk with her.” Tyra only nodded her understanding before setting to do as she was asked. It wasn’t unusual for Wither’s frontman to make such requests, and if Cadian had succeeded in controlling himself, as he had attempted to do, hopefully she would be none the wiser that anything was out of the ordinary. He had planned, while pushing through the crowd, to simply get Evan home, let him sleep off whatever it was that had him so off kilter. He just had to get him out of there without anyone noticing.
Now where had Yumi ran off to.
[ ♕ ] [ ♕ ] [ ♕ ]
Then he was on stage, drawing his black leather jacket over his shoulders, standing before the microphone, alone. The music faded, the song slowly ending and the single spot light shone gently on Cadian. It’s effect wasn’t blinding, as it was when they performed, but a dim circle in the darkness announced his presence to all who hadn’t noticed him yet, and a murmur took to the crowd. This wasn’t the usual beginning of the show. Still some cheered, expecting something new and different, but still expecting entertained. Cadian put up a hand, let his eyes glance through the crowd of those faces who were gathered just off the stage, and he exhaled a breath.
“Everyone, everyone please,” Cadian spoke, and as he did his eyes came across that same haunting vision, minus the dim dullness that told him it was memory compared to reality. These were sharp, clear, and filled with something new, a curiosity, wonderment, he wasn’t sure what it was, so far was the distance between them, but they were the same eyes. He let his vision pan back, drawing in the woman who had so completely dominated his thoughts, pulling into focus the memory for the night, as though the sight of her was fire to the fog of forgetfulness that clouded the memory. Forgetfulness burned away, leaving it crystal clear. She had been there the night before. She was the one. He exhaled, found himself wishing that this was the night before. That Evan’s condition wasn’t pressing on the back of his mind, or demanding his attention even now. He wish he had a moment to drop into the crowd, at least to ask her her name..
“I’m sorry to say that we cannot perform today,” He spoke, but his eyes were fixed, no longer searching the crowd. “It would seem both my drummer and basist have eaten some bad thai food last night, and aren’t feeling much up to playing,” He spoke, trying to give any excuse that seemed plausible, and so completely out of his hands as this all was, without seeming to cause too much worry or invite too much suspicion. He had to remember his plan. To get Evan out of here, back home, without so much as whisper of what happened. But he kept staring at those eyes. “I hope you’ll stay, enjoy the music. I call a few favors in, and managed to convince American Dream to entertain you today,” He spoke, as from the darkness of the stage behind, a woman and her band stepped onto the stage, guitars and instruments strapped to their shoulders. American Dream, another of Passions exclusive bands, bloomed from the darkness around him. “But don’t like them too much. We will be back,” He spoke, laughing as he lowered the mic, allowing his eyes to swirl around the crowd once, before fixing again on Alexia.
“I hope you will too,” He said, low and to himself, but the microphone caught enough of it to softly float his words out as he passed it Seven, the band’s vocalist. He exited the stage to the sound of the band’s music revving up. For a moment he hung at the back of the stage, looking through the crowd as best he could, to try to find her again, but the angles were different, the elevation wasn’t the same this part of the stage as it was dead center of it. He couldn’t make her out of the crowd, so he turned away, and went back to Evan.
