LovelyAnastasia — Roleplayer Guild

Tomo turned a bit pink when he enthusiastically commented on her small performance. Her dark hair fell down her back and she pushed a lock behind her ear, smiling softly. She had woven something with her voice that she wanted to feel too. And as long as it had gotten to him somewhat, maybe it could grow. That last note had almost been a bit achingly struck. She hoped in someway he wouldn't be able to forget it. There was a light teasing in his voice and she couldn't help but turn a bit red. Beautiful. He had called it beautiful. With just that, she hadn't even minded his teasing on being a prime and proper princess.

But like the tides of the ocean, he changed again. He left with a small pretty words and... that was it. Gone. Imaginary Friend indeed. If he were, he would never be able to leave her alone. Alone again. In the small dusty forgotten music room. She ran her fingers over the keys lightly. Why did her heart ache like this? She thought she was doing so well too. Everyone had their own problems, and some might say her's were shallow. And maybe they were right. Loneliness. Something that seemed so laughable, yet still choked her and made her feel like she could cry crystals.

And then the anger washed over her. Anger. Anger at herself. Anger at everyone else. Why? What was so wrong with her?! Why couldn't she be like everyone else? Why couldn't she have at least a few close friends? Someone to talk to! Someone to tell troubles to! Someone to cry to! Slamming her hands on the piano it cried out with the strangled desperation she felt. Alone in darkness. Darkness. Darkness everywhere! It was in her veins! She couldn't breathe! She couldn't feel anything but pain! Darkness! Darkness! Darkness!

When had she started crying? She didn't know. But she was thrown over that lonely piano that sparkled in the sunlight, forever inked out of her sight. Sobbing, shoulders shaking, she couldn't help it. It had crawled through her and sought its way out. That ugly darkness inside her had torn its way out. And those tears, those selfish ugly tears, ripped through her like a swirling vortex of black water. Thrust into cold, lonely darkness. And until the panic lifted, she was alone. Always alone in pitch black, horrid, darkness.

The piano cried with her, it's strangled notes suffering through her sobs, even as they started to calm. Slowly she lifted her head, face red from crying so hard. Selfish, selfish tears. Ugly, ugly fear. She was being ridiculous. Wasn't she that princess, the one that everyone called her? Perfect, prime, proper, without a single care in the world just because of her status. Was she suppose to be that person? Then why did she feel this...this thing tear apart her insides every time she found herself in silence, perfectly alone? Because even with money, even with safety, even with comfort, she was always alone. Ever since she had been born, she had been alone in terrifying darkness with only sounds and scents to soothe her. But she wanted more than that. Greedy Princess Tomo wanted more than that. She wanted warmth and soothing touch.

"Selfish," her voice sounded weak and wavered when she spoke, "When did I become so horrible?" Rubbing her tear stained cheeks, she let out a shaken breath. It had passed, like sea storms usual do. But it left her shaken and trembling as always. Hunched over the ivory keys, she probably looked like a sorrowful and pitiful ghost in that forgotten room that smelled of dust and smoke. Pressing her fingers on the piano's keys, she decided one last song might cheer her up and push down that achey feeling in her throat. And as she played on that lonely piano, singing in her lonely voice, she did feel better. She felt the sunlight wash over her and drive away that darkness, that ugly sorrow, and replace it with that joyful numbing warmth. Captured in her own song, Tomohina fell into that dreaming song happily.

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