Avatar of MonsieurShade
  • Last Seen: 8 yrs ago
  • Joined: 12 yrs ago
  • Posts: 1925 (0.42 / day)
  • VMs: 2
  • Username history
    1. MonsieurShade 12 yrs ago

Status

Recent Statuses

9 yrs ago
Current Tfw you want to go to the gym and get your stronk on but you've busted your shoulder and need let it rest.
9 yrs ago
Holy fuck. Ok, shit. Insane hiatus. Fuck. I'm still around folks, just been beyond extremely busy. Will try (heavy emphasis on try) to be more active in the coming months.
1 like
10 yrs ago
God forbid I be one of the lucky bastards that doesn't have their wisdom teeth grow in. Nah, just fuck my shit up fam.
1 like
10 yrs ago
As someone who works for a pet store I both love and hate pixar. The next person that tries to ask me if we have "a dory fish" for their goldfish bowl is getting straight up clubbed like a baby seal
9 likes

Bio

I'm just a simple college student working his way through life while simultaneously testing the limits of how much caffeine and alcohol the human body can subsist on before it gives out. Just call me Shade.

Most Recent Posts

Jacque had to admit something, although he'd seen his fair share of chaos ever since The Deal, there was always something about a prison break that amped him up. Freed form his cage -but not his bonds- thanks to the fire elemental Jacque launched himself at the store owner as the alien came out and raised what the voodoo shaman could only guess was a weapon of sorts. "Bonjour." he chuckled as Coal freed herself from Jacque's waist and coiled around the alien's neck "Key please." he said as Coal squeezed down. The shop keeper garbled something that Jacque couldn't quite make out, however it sounded like something decidedly not key related. Jacque held up his cuffed hands and extended a finger before slowly inserting it into one of the alien's eyes, "Keeeeyyyy...." he said as he pressed down hard, yet not hard enough to burst the organ, "....pleeeeeeseee." he finished whilst gesturing to his cuffs. The alien screeched as best it could as the blood from Jacque's hands seeped into it's eye, though thanks to the gestures, Jacque's message finally seemed to get across. Jacque grinned as the shop keeper produced a strange card and ran it over one of the cuffs, causing the energy that bound them to dissipate. Jacque's grin widened as he felt his power return to him, "We live Coal?" he inquired to his pet, "Yessss" a cold voice rang out from in his head. Jacque peered down at the alien beneath him and raised his finger, "Thank you. Now, under normal circumstances, i'd weigh the options of killing you for the common good. But I think i'll settle for tearing down this slave hub o' yours. Slavery's pretty fucked up y'know." Jacque stated as he got up and wrapped Coal around his waist before looking to Rachel, "You promised me a brawl, yea? Keep your promise." he barked before tossing the key card at her feet.
Sorry bout' disappearing folks, I got called into work suddenly -on my off day no less- to solve some issue that a goddamned monkey could have fixed. Any who, i'm back, so let the La Croix' carnival of carnage begin!
Welp, looks like Jacque gets to keep his face intact for another day. I figured we were gonna go for a slightly more subtle escape, but this works too. After all, chaos is m'jam~
Lexzah said
I don't even know how to plan.


That, my dear friend, it what improvisation is for. Now then, who's in the mood for the worlds grungiest cage match? Any takers!?
As he continued to observe his surroundings, Jacque found himself cringing slightly at the combination of one of his fellow captive's harsh manner of speaking, and the actions of one of the others, who had seen fit to sink her teeth into someone before getting cracked in the back of the head with a baton. The man hardly had a chance to give input to his pet however, as he and the other prisoners were herded off of the vessel and into a merchant's shop. Jacque had pretty much given up most of his hope for escaping the market, however, escaping the buyer that would come for him would be all too easy if he was smart, and more importantly, patient, though he wouldn't have been opposed to getting away at the moment should he see the chance.

Within the mesh cage clutched in Jacque's hand however, Coal was growing extremely ill tempered. She was not nearly as content to sit by as her owner, and as such, began to uncoil and strike at the bars of her cage. The cage rattled in Jacque's grip, that is, until the handle snapped off and sent the cage sprawling to the ground. Jacque cursed and leaned down to pick up the cage, only to recoil as it was dented from another strike, "The fuck is your damage Coal?" he muttered to the serpent before it clicked: the cage seemed relatively sturdy, but upon closer inspection, the materials used were actually a bit cheap looking. Jacque figured that it was likely meant to hold small mammals such as raccoons, opossums, and any other creature of that size and strength. Coal was no small mammal, and while she could fit perfectly fine in the cage whilst coiled up, it didn't change the fact that she was still five feet and seventeen pounds of nearly solid muscle. Jacque seized the distraction presented as one of the captive clamped down onto a baton after goading a guard, and knelt down and tucked at a few holes in the cage that had been widened, hissing under his breath as the materials cut into his fingers. It took several moments, but Jacque finally achieved his goal; opening up a hole wide enough to pull Coal out. With his pet now wrapping around his waist like a belt, Jacque stood up, looked at his fellow slaves, and clapped his hands together, splattering a bit of his blood in the process as a plan was formulated, one that hinged on a response to his next few words: "Who's in the mood for a good ol' fashioned bare knuckle brawl?"
The marbles are still firmly within my grasp Lady Spriggs! Also, while you fine folk continue your planning, i'm gonna have Jacque pull...well, a Jacque with the help of his partner. Long live the king of improvisation!
Lord Nac of Nakersbury, you're here as well! What gratuitous luck! Might you christen this rp with your introductory post before I add another of my own?
Heh heh heh....guess who's off work and doesn't have classes today ladies and gents? THE SHADE MAN RUNNETH FREE FROM THE LABORIOUS BURDENS OF MAN!!!
>Messa needs to sleep
>Messa needs
>Messa
JAR JAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!! *readies an exterminatus*
The young man, cage now sitting squarely in his lap watching with a combination of amusement and pity as one of his fellow captives tried vainly to free herself via flinging herself at the wall, and another was poked with a cattle prod several times to elicit a response of some sort. "Y'know, it probably isn't a wise idea to be shocking your merchandise like that, I dunno what kind of people you sell to, but where I come form, people tend to like having their shit decidedly NOT damaged before purchase. Some food for thought.", he stated to one of the guards as he began to strum his fingers over the top of the cage. "They can't say shit if we shock you in places they can't see. Now shut up slave, before I decide to cook and eat that stupid animal of yours rather than sell it.", "Not that I expect you to actually give a damn, but the name my mother gave to me was Jacque, not slave, and trust me buddy, this right here? It is NOT the snack that smiles back." Jacque explained as he propped his elbows up on the cage and held his head up with his hands. Jacque tensed slightly in preparation for a shock, however the guard simply sneered, "You'd better be grateful that we already have a buyer for you, bitch, or i'd beat you into the dirt." "And here I thought you weren't doing it because you liked the way I look in these jeans.". That last comment earned Jacque a sharp jab in the shoulder with the prod, causing the man to jump and bite down on his inner cheek to suppress a yelp, "Keep on talking, just try me.".
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