Avatar of MonsieurShade
  • Last Seen: 8 yrs ago
  • Joined: 12 yrs ago
  • Posts: 1925 (0.42 / day)
  • VMs: 2
  • Username history
    1. MonsieurShade 12 yrs ago

Status

Recent Statuses

9 yrs ago
Current Tfw you want to go to the gym and get your stronk on but you've busted your shoulder and need let it rest.
9 yrs ago
Holy fuck. Ok, shit. Insane hiatus. Fuck. I'm still around folks, just been beyond extremely busy. Will try (heavy emphasis on try) to be more active in the coming months.
1 like
10 yrs ago
God forbid I be one of the lucky bastards that doesn't have their wisdom teeth grow in. Nah, just fuck my shit up fam.
1 like
10 yrs ago
As someone who works for a pet store I both love and hate pixar. The next person that tries to ask me if we have "a dory fish" for their goldfish bowl is getting straight up clubbed like a baby seal
9 likes

Bio

I'm just a simple college student working his way through life while simultaneously testing the limits of how much caffeine and alcohol the human body can subsist on before it gives out. Just call me Shade.

Most Recent Posts

"P.S Amongst most guests, avoid alerting a second class Grim Reaper that fancies calling itself 'Snazzy' about this secret hunt. He is a dipshit."

Mein sides! Gotta love the transfer from "formal host" to "guy who's tired of someone's shit". Weep for the sleepy little human town folks, 'cause Cain is going to go hog wild.
<Snip>


I fear for a world in which Dimitri Silvera is given a badge and authority. I can imagine it now: "HALT IN THE NAME OF HUNGER- I MEAN JUSTICE!" *scuffle ensues and Dimitri starts biting into a criminal's midsection much to their dismay* "STOP MOVING, I'M NOT JUST EATING YOUR LIVER BECAUSE I WANT TO, IT'S IN THE NAME OF THE LAW! RESISTING IS A FEDERAL OFFENSE!"
After losing himself in his thoughts, Dimitri found himself losing his grip on the passage of time and the world around him as well. He hadn't even noticed that a few of his coworkers and his boss had arrived and unlocked the door until he was nudged by his boss' boot. Dimitri's head had snapped up near instantly as he fought down the instinct to immediately clamp down and tear into whatever touched him, "C'mon, time to get this day done..." he extremely hung over boss, Matthew, grumbled in a voice barely exceeding a whisper. Dimitri stood up and dusted off his pants before following Matt inside "Het Matt. You look like shit man, you sure you want to be in today?", receiving only a strange sound somewhere between and groan and a whimper in response. Dimitri let the subject drop and simply entered the garage portion of the shop just as the sign was flicked on and the garage doors were pulled up. The air was brisk, and several of Dimitri's coworkers nestled deeper into their coats, he simply ignored this as his heavy jacket -as well as a generous portion of monster physiology- was more than enough to keep him warm. These things were not, however, enough to help him reach his tool box, which someone had yet again sat onto one of the higher shelves to mess with him.

"Alright, who has the balls this time?" Dimitri hissed as he turned to glare at the smirking faces of his coworkers. Knowing that no one would actually confess, Dimitri turned back around and began to jump to try and reach his tools. It was humiliating having to fake being human, he was certain that he was grinding his teeth into powder each and every time he had to fake such pitiful weakness just to blend in. It needed to be done though, if only so he could continue to hunt as he wished. As some of the first cars rolled in, one of his female coworkers finally took pity on the wendigo and retrieved the box for him, "Thanks, Shannon." "No problem. Y'know, you really should've ate your veggies as a kid Cap'n Crunch. Maybe you wouldn't be a short stack., "Ha-fuckin'-ha. What's with you people and naming me after cereal anyway?" "Not my fault you eat more than anyone I know. Seriously where do you put all that food? It's crazy that you eat so much and stay so tiny.. Dimitri's eyes narrowed, he muttered under his breath and walked away from his coworker to get to work on the car, "Hey, at least I don't try to tousle your hair like Allen and Carol do!" Shannon called out before laughing as Dimitri half jokingly flipped her the bird.

This was typical behavior in Matthew Sykes Automotive repair, the employees loved to make jokes and rib each other, and Dimitri was not immune to it. The difference was that despite his behavior around his coworkers, every time he came in he dreamt of nothing more than dismembering and eating everyone. Even now, as he slid under a car and went to work, he thought about nothing, but what it would be like to bite off Shannon's fingers one by one.
<Snipped quote by MonsieurShade>

awww


T'is unfortunate, however if someone truly wants Dimitri in on something, then i'm more than happy to cooperate if a PM is shot my way. Just a heads up though, anyone that wants Dimitri's assistance should be prepared for him to attempt to eat them at any moment where their guard is weak. He's a rat bastard like that.
<snip>


Every time I make an attempt to enter the chat I receive some sort of connection error and my computer starts to act weird. I mean, I suppose it's not too heavy a loss if I can't really collaborate with the other criminals seeing as Dimitri views any and everyone around him as potential food. He'd not exactly one to make plans outside of "catch some poor bastard and eat them".
@akje
That...is brilliant.
<snip>


If I might interject here before a possible argument takes place- you raise plenty of fair points here Earnest, however one must remember that this Rp is, at it's core, a comedy based RP. It's not really meant to take itself serious, and as such, neither are the characters.
Having arrived at his place of employment, Dimitri sat just outside of the door and turned inwards rather than focusing on his surroundings. During his walk, he'd heard bits and pieces of the latest news, both from the televisions of places with outdoor seating, such as sports bars and cafés, and from the mouths of people remarking on the situation. Personally speaking, Dimitri wasn't too thrilled about this "triple X killer", in fact, he was certain that he wouldn't think twice about tearing the skin from their bodies and devouring it while they still lived. Whomever this person was, was making it difficult for Dimitri to truly savor his hunts. After all, with the Detective Agency skulking about the city at every corner, Dimitri was finding it harder and harder to snatch his victims and acquire a proper hunting ground. Arrowhead park was a blessing due to it's size and plentiful forest, however it would only be a matter of time before that too became difficult to find privacy in. This was an issue, but it paled in comparison to what annoyed Dimitri most about the killer; they left the bodies! Perfectly good meat went to waste whenever the Triple X Killer dispatched their target, all for the sake of a vain calling card to goad the Agency into working even harder, and making his hunts more difficult by proxy. Dimitri may have left behind bloody smears, however there was nothing else that could be used to try and track him down, especially considering how easily blood could be contaminated or wash away.

Dimitri tilted his head back and blew a stray strand of hair from out of his eye as he tried to put everything together in his head. He knew that he could always resort to stealing corpses if he was desperate for meat, however corpses provided no challenge. A corpse could not talk, which meant it could not beg, it could not walk, and therefor could not run, it could not feel fear, nor could it express the anguish that sustained Dimitri almost as much as flesh itself. As Dimitri continued to mentally lambast the Triple X Killer, he had no idea that, in a somewhat ironic twist of fate, a group of boy scouts and their guardian had managed to stumble across the bloody smears he'd left over from his meal and called the detective agency to report a possible crime.
Dimitri walked along the city sidewalks at a leisurely pace as he made his way to work. The wendigo knew there was no need to rush as the automotive repair shop that he worked for wasn't due to open for another thirty minutes, and that if his boss had continued to drink through the night with the same gusto he'd had when Dimitri last saw him, he'd be at least another twenty five minutes late due to his hangover. Dimitri smiled wryly at the thought before bringing the tiny bottle of mouthwash he'd purchased up to his lips and downing the contents in one go. He swished the burning liquid around for a bit, then spat into a trashcan outside of a cafe much to the distain of other people on the sidewalk. "Dude, that's gross man. You can't handle dealing your stank breath at home or something?" A male tiefling said as he glared down at Dimitri, "Hey-" Dimitri began as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve, "It ain't my fault your mother lied about showering before I went down on her.". The tiefling's face turned and even darker hue of red at Dimitri's retort, and grabbed the shorter man by the front of his shirt, "The fuck did you say you pipsqueak?!", "Ugly AND hard of hearing? Looks like we've got a winner of the genetic lottery here folks." Dimitri retorted with a smirk. The tiefling cocked his free arm back, intent on beating the tiny upstart in his grip into a coma.

He never even got the chance to swing, as Dimitri -having been lifted slightly- was at the perfect groin kicking height. The wendigo cocked back his leg, then let fly with all of his strength. There was a crunching sound as Dimitri's shin met with the tiefling's groin and pelvic bone, damaging both quite badly in the process. Dimitri was let go of immediately as the tiefling dropped to the ground and attempted to both vomit and scream at the same time. Dimitri didn't even give the tiefling a second look, "You might want to get some ice there champ." was all that was said as he continued along his merry way, leaving his aggressor in a crumpled heap of pain and bitter regrets.
Blarg! I keep getting a connection error message on the chat room.
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