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    1. murdoc 11 yrs ago

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11 yrs ago
Current NYEH HEH HEH!
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Location: Seraphim Tattoos, The Bronx
Interacting With: Tatiana Carrington





As he started to follow Tatiana into the back of the parlor, Wyatt knew one thing, and one thing only, he didn’t have an ounce of self-preservation in his bones. Any sane man would’ve just said ‘fuck no’ to all this, and got the hell out of dodge before things inevitably went to shit; but right now, he felt like the protagonist of a terrible B-movie, blindly stumbling to his doom with all the grace of an overstimulated gorilla.

Then again, what was life without a little danger, right? Wyatt was pretty sure that if it really came down to it, he’d be able to punch his way out of here, no problem. Not that he’d ever consider socking a lady in the jaw on a normal day, but desperate times called for desperate measures, and he fully expected things to escalate to the realm of ‘desperate’ within the next minute or two.

With an unceremonious thump, he dropped his travelling bag on the ground, and raised a quizzical eyebrow at his surroundings.

“You know, if you wanted to murder me, you probably could’ve picked a better place to do it. I heard it’s a bitch getting bloodstains out of marble.”

Past the curtain, it was like another dimension. Quite unlike the lurid, ash-stained hellhole jangling with heavy metal at the front of the store, this place was immaculate to a near-surgical degree. With all its bright lights, black marble floors, and minimalistic outlines, it would not have looked out of place in a glossy, five-spread for the Architectural Digest.

Where Tatiana sat, the wall behind her was decorated with myriad pieces of art. He wasn’t quite close enough to tell, but the same, flourished signature decorating the corner of each piece was enough for him to realise that they were all the work of the woman before him. Even for someone like Wyatt - whose only exposure to the world of art were the workshops offered in prison - he could safely say that they were real gems, beautiful in the way that everyone could appreciate.

...Or maybe they weren’t. Wyatt felt like he probably wasn’t the best person to judge, but he thought they were nice.

Either way, he knew that he should probably stop gawking, and so, in one smooth movement, he took the proffered seat next to Tatiana, adopting a suitably dour expression. Whatever she was about to say, it looked to be serious, and Wyatt didn’t want to miss even the slightest bit of it.

But what came out of Tatiana’s mouth next - it was definitely not what he’d been expecting. Briefly, his gaze flickered down to the picture shown to him, and in that very moment, he could’ve sworn that every last pint of blood in his body had been replaced with ice, even more so when she confirmed his suspicions with a few choice words.

“...Fuck.”

It was the only thing Wyatt could come up with, and he had to take a few moments to let her words sink in. At this point, he almost wished that Tatiana’s father was the head of the Russian Mafia.

“You’re actually Tatiana Carrington.” He pointed out, lamely, a fact of which she was presumably aware. “Oh God, why didn’t you tell me earlier? I can’t believe you didn’t tell me earlier.”






Location: Seraphim Tattoos, The Bronx
Interacting With: Jones, Tatiana Carrington





The seconds seemed to crawl by, with neither of them saying a word, and Wyatt was just about to bust out the witty one-liners when Tatiana broke the silence, by way of a compliment which was, admittedly, rather double-edged. Nonetheless, it was a compliment, and he was nothing if not gracious.

Evidently, she seemed quite relieved that he was not, in fact, a fedora-toting neckbeard dusted with crumbled Cheetos, nor a scrawny, four-eyed beanpole with a penchant for World of Warcraft and distasteful anime. It seemed as if they’d both expected the worst out of each other, which was completely understandable, given that a Craigslist ad had been their chosen medium of communication. He supposed this made a valuable life lesson for everyone out there; always set your expectations low, and you’ll never be disappointed.

“Yeah, well - you sure showed him. I thought he was gonna fucking explode.” Wyatt snorted, shaking his head as he remembered how the biker’s face had went red with pure, unadulterated fury. “Good thing your guy here tossed him out.”

But before he could get in a word edgewise, Tatiana had turned to Jones, and from what he gathered, began a rather heated discourse regarding a meeting with her parents. Through it all, there was nothing Wyatt could do but look confused, and perhaps even mildly concerned. Shit, was Tatiana’s parents the mafia? No wonder she was rich. But then, he had to wonder; was he getting involved in the mafia? What if they made him a drug mule? Filled his insides with little baggies of cocaine and meth to smuggle across the border?

...Oh my God, it all made sense now. How could he have been so blind? This was like Breaking Bad all over again.

Before he had a chance to react, however, Jones offered him his hand to shake, and as if on instinct, he shook back twice, even if he had no idea what the guy was talking about. And the mockingly sympathetic comment he made? It didn’t make him feel any better about the whole affair. Not in the slightest. By this point, he was pretty much convinced that he was completely, and utterly fucked.

Please tell me you’re not mafia.” Wyatt said to Tatiana, in what he hoped was a dry, joking monotone. The last thing he needed was a hitman on his trail, looking to take him out for knowing too much.






Location: Seraphim Tattoos, The Bronx
Interacting With: Front Desk Guy & Tatiana Carrington





Everything in this place was intimidating, from the paint peeling off the wall in crackling strips, to the patrons who looked like they could murder someone with their bare hands. By all accounts, getting the hell out of here was probably the most logical thing to do, but as he said before, Wyatt was way, waaay past the point of worrying, and this was not his first rodeo - or so the saying went.

When the shouting started, he simply stood aside, watching the confrontation unfold with an impressive nonchalance , and maybe even a hint of amusement. The guy who was doing most of the shouting looked like the stereotypical biker, with his tattoos, leather vest, and steel-toed boots. He must’ve weighed close to three-hundred pounds, a solid chunk of fat and untoned muscle, but somehow, he still seemed to be losing the argument against his opponent; a fiery redhead who looked to be about a third of his size.

The woman’s accent was the first thing he noticed - Slavic, no doubt, though it was tinged with a little something else he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He almost contemplated stepping in, but eventually decided against it. She seemed like she had everything under control, and let’s face it, even if he did intervene, he would probably just make things worse.

In the end, all he could do was take another pull from his cigarette, almost comically calm amidst the commotion. As he exhaled, thin, blue tendrils of smoke poured from the corners of his mouth, joining the already cloying scent of tobacco hanging heavy in the air. The whole argument seemed like it was coming to a head - at least until security came stomping out from behind a curtain to escort (read: strong-arm) biker guy out from the parlor.

All in all, it was a little anticlimactic, but it wasn’t as if he’d hoped for things to escalate into a barfight.

...Or maybe he had. Wyatt couldn’t be a hundred percent sure.

But he wasn’t able to dwell on that for long, because soon, he realised that the redhead was asking him a question.

“Wyatt. And I’m guessing you’re Tatiana...?”

To be honest, this wasn’t what he had been expecting. But really, he had no idea what he expected - well, apart from things heading south as soon as he stepped off the plane. Of all the scenarios that he’d dreamt up in his head, this was the least likely. It felt almost surreal that this was actually working out for the better. Not that he was completely out of the woods yet. For all he knew, they were just waiting to murder him in the back alley.

But if there was anything Wyatt excelled at, it was bullshitting his way out of trouble.

“Pretty impressive, back there. Does this kind of thing happen often?” Wyatt nodded his head towards the door, from which the biker had been thrown out seconds earlier. His mouth was formed in an endearingly lopsided smirk, but as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, the movement almost seemed to give away his unease.
Fineshrine - Purity Ring - Shrines
LA Devotee - Panic! at the Disco - Death of a Bachelor
Little Cream Soda - The White Stripes - Icky Thump
Stylo - Gorillaz - Plastic Beach
Bloodbuzz Ohio - The National - High Violet
Hydrogen - M|O|O|N - MOON EP
I'm So Sorry - Imagine Dragons - Smoke + Mirrors
Demigods - Fall Out Boy - PAX AM Days
Polly - Nirvana - Nevermind
Tomorrow's Money - My Chemical Romance - Conventional Weapons






Location: A Shitty One-Room Flat, Toronto
Interacting With: ???





Wyatt woke up at 2 P.M, the incessant shrieking of his alarm clock falling on deaf ears. Long practice lets him roll out of bed, a blanket still wrapped around his shoulders, slithering against the floor as Wyatt hurried towards the bathroom. He needed to piss, smoke, drink coffee and if there was actually anything edible, grab something for breakfast lunch.

Of course, no one wants to hear about him relieving himself, so after he was done with that, Wyatt trudged to the kitchen, brewed a pot of coffee, and entertained the prospect of braving the fridge.

On one hand, he’s hungry. On the other, he has to be really hungry to face the furred something that lurked at the back of the fridge. He knew that it probably used to be rice, but at this point, it resembled a ball of green fluff. Which was cool, but also fucking gross, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to risk looking inside.

In the end, after an intense mental deliberation, he decided that the would-be trauma to his psyche just wasn’t worth it. He’d be much better off blowing a couple of dollars at 7-Eleven on a toasted sandwich.

Though with Wyatt being Wyatt, it was only halfway through his coffee that he remembered he was supposed to be flying to NYC. He legitimately thought that he’d dreamt the whole thing up, but a quick, panicked look through his inbox confirmed that this was indeed happening, and that his ticket in first class was for a flight expected to leave at 6 P.M.

...He hadn’t even started packing.

Downing the last of his still-hot coffee (which, in hindsight, wasn’t the best idea), he set to work. The following hours flew by in a blur, with Wyatt spending far too much time worrying if he’d packed enough clothes for a trip to London, and basically upending his entire apartment to find a missing passport. Before he knew it, he was really, really late, and Wyatt soon found himself weaving through traffic, and then sprinting through departures with mere minutes to spare.

But by some manner of miracle, he managed to make it to the boarding gate before the plane took off without him, though the dirty looks he earned from the other passengers took any sort of solace he might’ve found and flung it right out the window.

A quick glance around, and Wyatt was certain that he looked as out of place as he felt. Maybe everyone else knew that, too. Maybe rich people could smell when someone wasn’t one of them, much like a grizzly bear could smell fear. But then again, he wasn’t exactly dressed to the nines. Was there a secret dress code to which one needed to adhere when flying first class? If there was, he was pretty sure what he had on wasn’t it.

His current getup could best be described as ‘hobo chic’, a plaid shirt, a ratty old hoodie, mud-stained work boots, and washed out jeans. Really, Wyatt thought as he sunk further into his seat, all he needed to complete the effect was some fingerless gloves and a shopping cart.

Then, just as the plane hit a rough patch of turbulence, he knew this was going to be the longest hour of his life.



At precisely 7 P.M, they landed at the John F. Kennedy International Airport, and after a flurry of customs and bag checks, Wyatt found himself none-too-ceremoniously herded into a Lexus sedan with tinted windows.

Was this a good sign? No. No, it wasn’t, though he was already in too deep to turn back, so really, the only thing he could do was fire up a menthol, taking a long, satisfying pull from it. If he was going to be murdered, he might as well have one last smoke, right?

When he made it to Seraphim Tattoos in one piece, he was legitimately surprised. It sounded ridiculous now, but he’d half-expected to wake up from a chloroformed-induced haze in an abandoned warehouse with like, a missing spleen. Instead, here he was in the Bronx, stood on the sidewalk, and gawking like an idiot.

It took him a moment, but Wyatt finally managed to gather himself, pushing open the glass door and stepping inside. As per the instructions, he strode right up to the front desk to ask for this… Tatiana.

– God, he hoped she was real.

“Uh, hey.” He began, eloquently, and crooked a questioning eyebrow. “Is Tatiana around? Apparently, I’m supposed to meet her here.”
Hey guys - here is my character sheet in progress. Please take a look, and give me whatever feedback you feel like! I'd appreciate it. Undine has taken a look already, but I'm gonna refrain from posting it until I'm totally finished and satisfied.

(Yes, I know, the name on the pad and the actual character don't line up. I changed it at the last minute. Such is life.)


I just have to say – Ex, your taste in music is ON POINT.






Location: A Shitty One-Room Flat, Toronto
Interacting With: Macaroni and Cheese






3 A.M found Wyatt stood in the kitchen, a duvet draped around his shoulders, stirring away at a bubbling pot on the stove - much like the villainous, child-eating crones of fairytales - save for the fact that instead of a deadly concoction of toadstool and eyes of newt, the pot contained only the cheapest, store brand mac and cheese he could find.

...This was it. He’d officially lost all control of his life. Why was he eating mac and cheese at three in the morning? He wasn’t even hungry, hell, he didn’t even like mac and cheese.

Before he could lapse into yet another existential crisis over mac and cheese, however, he took the pot off the stove. Instant mac and cheese was bad enough as it is, but burnt instant mac and cheese was even worse. Shit, how many times had the phrase ‘mac and cheese’ popped into his head in the past minute? Probably more than a regular human being did in an entire year. Not a good sign. His second day of unemployment, and Wyatt was already starting to stress eat like there was no tomorrow.

Instead of turning in for the night, however, he stayed up for another hour, doing absolutely nothing of value. The majority, if not the entirety of that hour was spent stuffing his face with all the junk food he managed to excavate from his disaster zone of a kitchen, while The Real Housewives droned on and on and on in the background. He probably could’ve kept going, but a chirp from his cell phone reminded him that he really needed to get his shit together if this meeting with Tatiana was really going to happen.

Through bleary, bloodshot eyes, he read the email, arching an eyebrow as he did so. She wanted to fly him down to NYC? Put him up in a hotel? This was beginning to sound more and more like a scam, but if it wasn’t, this would essentially be the deal of a lifetime.

shit, you must be rly fucking rich. i can just take a bus, you know? or is this like... super urgent??

but yeah, tomorrow night’s cool with me. i feel really bad about it tho haha.. my full name’s marion wyatt rothenberg btw. wyatt’s actually my middle name, probably should’ve mentioned that a little earlier oops. also i’m gonna need the address for the shop, never been to nyc before, so yeah. looking forward to seeing you!!

- wyatt

This time, Wyatt didn’t even think before he hit ‘send’. For all he knew, in approximately 24 hours from now, he’d be lying dead in a ditch - his tragic end fuelling a series of Public Service Announcements about the dangers of meeting with strangers on the Internet. But truthfully? He couldn’t muster enough energy to give a shit, and so, it was only then that he finally dragged himself off to bed, flopping face-down onto the squeaky mattress, and into sweet, sweet oblivion.
Going to see The Force Awakens, as well. THE HYPE IS TOO REAL.

I'll start working on relations, and a reply for our thread too @Lady Amalthea when I get home later tonight!






Location: A Shitty One-Room Flat, Toronto
Interacting With: An iPhone 3G, also a Hot Pocket






Because he was a jobless loser with nothing better to do, Wyatt set his phone aside and flipped on the TV to find reruns of The Real Housewives. It was awful – just terrible, really, but similar to a trainwreck, he couldn’t look away, especially when in a fit of rage, one of the cast members threw her prosthetic leg across the table. That wasn’t even a euphemism for anything. She literally took off her prosthetic leg (which looked very well-crafted, he might add), and flung it full-force across the room at the woman unfortunate enough to incur her wrath.

In the words of Johnny Bravo, he was sickened, but curious, and he’d never been one to judge a book by its cover, after all.

It was only after two hours had passed when Wyatt found himself at the edge of his seat, eyes glued to the screen, and wolfing down a Hot Pocket, that he finally understood how people could get hooked on these shows. There was drama, a lot of it, actually, and the fact that it came packaged in the form of angry, middle-aged women screaming at one another over the most asinine things? Wyatt didn’t know why, but that only sold it to him even more. Maybe he found a sick sort of comfort in seeing people more out of touch with reality than he was.

And then, a whistle from his phone snapped him out of his reality TV induced trance. Swiping a finger across the screen, Wyatt quickly navigated to the source of the notification; a reply to the email he’d sent earlier.

It wasn’t a long email, not by a long shot, but it didn’t stop him from taking way too long to formulate his own response. It seemed genuine, at least, and there weren’t any alarm bells going off in his head saying that this was the work of a serial killer. But freaks were always the ones you least expect, weren’t they? He’d learnt that in prison, when he nearly got a shiv to the face after winning all the cigarettes off a bespectacled little twerp from Montreal in a game of Blackjack.

...Well, perhaps that wasn’t the best example, but hey, give him a break. Wyatt didn’t have a lot to work with, here.

Shaking the rather unpleasant thought out of his head, he wondered just what kind of mess he was getting himself into before starting to tap away at the keypad.

yeah sounds cool with me. should i make a good or bad impression? bc i can do either lol

anyway, when do you need me to come over? i’m in toronto, so it’d be great if you could cover $60 for bus tix. i’m a line cook and i smoke too so no worries there. unless it’s camels. then we’re gonna have a problem

jkjk

- wyatt

ps. rly hope you’re not a serial killer btw that would suck :(

pps. shld i send a pic? ok that was weird just ignore it






Location: A Shitty One-Room Flat, Toronto
Interacting With: An iPhone 3G






This was bad.

– Wait, scratch that. This was downright catastrophic.

What kind of restaurant took a month long Christmas break? Wyatt wanted nothing more than to scream at the people in charge, but that would result in him getting fired, so he promptly pushed the thought to the back of his mind.

He was a calm, rational adult, for God’s sake. The restaurant owners were a married couple – nice people, even by Canadian standards, which was really saying something. What good would it do to take out his undying rage on them?

Then again, this basically meant that he was going to lose his job for a month, except for the fact he wasn’t technically fired because they were just taking – and he quotes: “four weeks off to visit our family in Boston.”

Boston.

That was only an eight-hour drive across the border, and arguably one of America’s most boring cities. For what earthly reason would they need to spend an entire month in Boston? Wyatt had to fight the urge to ring them up and shoot them a not-so-friendly reminder that Christmas only lasted a day. Maybe if they’d made an announcement earlier, he would’ve been able to come up with a back-up plan before the world as he knew it came crashing down around him.

...Okay, so maybe he was being a tad melodramatic. But unemployment was no laughing matter, he’ll have you know. After work, Wyatt had spent the previous night (or morning, it was 2 A.M.) chain smoking in a filthy back alley together with one of his line cook pals, complaining about the prospect of having to find a new job on such short notice. Obviously, it didn’t accomplish a goddamned thing, but it was a strange sort of respite; having someone be in the same predicament as you.

There was only one thing left Wyatt could do now, really – and it wasn’t going out to look for a legitimate job, because that’d take him at least a fortnight, and even that was being optimistic. No, he was going to trawl through the cesspool that was Craigslist, in the hopes of finding a somewhat respectable method of keeping his income afloat. Granted, Craigslist probably wasn’t the best place to look, but he figured he’d work his way up from there.

Fishing an iPhone 3G out of his pocket, Wyatt settled down on the creaking, moth-eaten couch, and sprawled across it like a long-limbed octopus. It took a while of scrolling, but he finally found something of value, and just in time, too. He was this close to giving up the endeavour (and also humanity). The ad that he’d stopped on, on the other hand, was almost too good to be true. An all expense paid trip to London, no payment required? He was surprised that no one had snapped up the offer yet. Of course, the first emotion that welled up within him was suspicion, and perhaps a sprinkle of intrigue. After all, he’d watched enough CSI to realise that this was the kind of thing that got people murdered.

But a part of him had latched onto that tiny glimmer of hope, and before he knew it, he was typing out an email to this mysterious Russian maiden.

...At least he hoped it was a maiden. Nobody ever lied on the Internet, right?

hi there! saw your ad on craiglist and i was just wondering if you were still looking? i wasn’t originally meant to be free, but plans fell through at the last minute so now i’m available. i’d love to know more about it first though. maybe we can meet beforehand and discuss things? let me know!

- wyatt


And with a heart full of trepidation, he hit ‘send’.

This was going to end horribly.
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