Neve

brilliant and bored || b&r

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city’s your playground | b&r

Though Brendon certainly didn’t love Ryan, or had any intention of actually being in a relationship with him, he felt drawn to him- for multiple reasons. First of all, they were physically compatible and Brendon was, for once, pretty sure that he had a type. Even if he usually wasn’t fussy, he found Ryan incredibly handsome, and that was one of the reasons this intended one night stand had extended to a multiple month stand. Neither of them saw any reason to stop- or they did, but decided that the positive massively outweighed any potential negatives. Second of all, they got along, very well, and for once, upon meeting someone he found attractive, Brendon hadn’t immediately tried to take it to another level before even having a full conversation- they had been friends first, grown close over a relatively short period of time, but still close. In fact, Brendon had counted and still did count Ryan as one of his closest friends- his best friend, in fact, though he’d never tell Gabe. Gabe was a guardian angel, but was even more of a glorified babysitter than Ryan was. Both of those reasons meant that Brendon was inexplicably drawn to Ryan, but seeing as Ryan actually romantically liked him, wanted to date him, it caused confusion.

They understood eachother, but in contradiction, miscommunicated often- so Gabe often stepped in as the mediator, less for Ryan’s sake (he tended to be dumb and not think things fully though before saying or doing something) and more for the sake of Brendon, who was arguably more vulnerable- a man who had it all but couldn’t make sense of anybody’s feelings. Especially when the feelings were directed towards him. He understood little in the ways of romance beyond physical relationships, and he didn’t intend to learn otherwise; he enjoyed his lifestyle, surface-level, engaging with long strings of one-time lovers. Variety was the spice of life, was his excuse- even though in the past months, Brendon had been spending little time with others than Ryan, and further in, they were unofficially exclusive simply due to the fact that neither of them had any interest in anyone else. Brendon, if asked, would have just said that this arrangement was easier, given some bullshit excuse- but he enjoyed Ryan’s company, in every sense. It was difficult for him to admit something so relatively monumental.

In fact, he preferred not to think ahout it. He preferred not to think at all, after days like these where his parents drove him to the edge and he was stressed and wound up enough to drop all of his plans and tasks for the rest of the day. Ryan had already assured him that they could be taken care of, so Brendon’s priorities could safely switch elsewhere- and Ryan was by now something of a stress reliever, and perhaps better, he was a great listener. Even if he contradicted that by talking way too much at the wrong time. Like now- though he knew that Ryan meant well, he definitely had terrible timing, and Brendon chose to limit his responses and instead focus on kissing him. Or at least, he tried to, but some things that Ryan said got under his skin and started his brain off and broke down his filter. Almost comically, he expressed his worry and doubts as he continued to make swift work of the buttons on Ryan’s shift, an expert by now at ridding Ryan of such garments because he apparently didn’t know how to do it himself.

Right after opening up more than he was used to, and feeling slightly nervous, Ryan drew him in without hesitating and joined him in a kiss, and Brendon was glad for the momentary silence, the peace that came with the unusually gentle kiss- one that might seem like a kiss shared by lifelong lovers, if an observer didn’t know any better. Brendon shivered under his touch as he kissed him leisurely, hands moving up across his chest towards his shoulders, sliding the shirt almost completely off when Ryan started to speak breathlessly between the breaks of their empassioned kiss. I didn’t mean it. Brendon just nodded hastily in acknowledgment watching as Ryan removed a hand from his sleeve and replaced it at the back of his neck. I know you. It wasn't right, Bren. Brendon smiled despite himself at the nickname, even if he thought such a fond moniker was too intimate for their situation. He loved it anyway- to Ryan, he was B, or Bren, or even Bden, and he never complained.

Thank you - for telling me. Ryan’s voice was low and gentle and Brendon shrugged one shoulder as if it wasn’t a big deal, but it was, and he felt vulnerable, even if he wasn’t the one who wasn’t wearing a shirt. ”It’s okay. Just- everything’s getting to me, and that- it was on my mind, constantly.” Brendon shook his head free of thoughts and pulled the shirt completely off Ryan, then, dropping it on the floor beside the couch, and rested both of his hands comfortable on Ryan’s shoulders, before sliding them down slowly to his waist and the waistband of his jeans, mapping out the familiar angles and bone and skin of Ryan’s chest. Brendon looked fully involved in what he was doing, but silently coaxed Ryan on to return the favour so he wouldn’t have to do it for once. ”You know, one of these days you’re gonna have to learn to take a shirt off,” He mumbled, smiling anyway, pressing his mouth against the side of Ryan’s and trailing off towards his cheekbone again. ”...You’re so damn pretty. It’s becoming an issue for me, you know.”

i'm just taking in the scenery || b&r

When Brendon first even considered the possibility of marriage, there was a problem that stuck out- Ryan tended to be the hopeless romantic, the more sentimental out of them both, and crucially, the one that people would expect to propose- Brendon included. Even if Ryan never talked about, the two of them had learned to read eachother like a book, and Brendon knew that Ryan was obsessed with that ideal picture of serenity and domestic bliss, something they already had (and then some- if you counted less traditional things like a constant joint pastime being smoking a fuckton of weed and Brendon playing drums at 2am until Ryan coaxed- otherwise dragged- him back to bed). Even so, marriage would legally seal the deal, and the more Brendon thought about it, the romantic aspect of it, the prospect of calling Ryan his husband, the more he wanted to be the one who got down on one knee (literally or metaphorically). He was still bugged by the fact that he knew Ryan wanted to do it at somepoint, and if he proposed he’d never get proposed to, But once Brendon wanted something, he was incredibly impatient.

He put a great deal of thought and sentiment into the proposal, but didn’t spend a hugely long time planning it out. It was easy- go to the cabin to invoke those memories back strongly into them, butter Ryan up with constant affection and gentleness he usually didn’t see from Brendon, then propose by the lakeshore, mirror the moment four years plus ago that they’d nervously but surely confessed and kissed eachother with a mutual passion and adoration that took their breaths away. It went perfectly to plan, even with unprecedented nerves setting in, and though Brendon felt his throat tightening a little from the anxiety and anticipation, he was proud of himself for getting this far and not backing down. Not that he thought he’d get cold feet- he wasn’t lying when he said he wasn’t scared of forever, in fact he wanted it to come sooner- but he had an unfortunate history of thinking irrationally and he hoped that wouldn’t kick in out of the blue and ruin his perfectly planned moment.

Luckily, Ryan caught on surprisingly fast, so he was comforted by the fact that there was no way he was backing out without thinking. He had to continue, reach the end of a speech that couldn’t begin to put into words how much he adored him, and then Ryan would say yes, and they’d be engaged. Ryan’s grip was solid, and as he spoke he glanced down too at their joined hands, a familiar, comforting sight. Ryan’s hands- he’d always loved them, he had long fingers, and a strong grip, calloused, guitarist’s hands. Much bigger than his, he noted distantly. Brendon was still talking, but he dragged his eyes away to instead meet Ryan’s intent gaze. Ryan’s eyes. In his head, he never shut up about them- they were a rich honey-brown, gold in certain light, and Brendon fell in love with him all over again every time he got lost in them for a little too long. His eyes then dropped to his mouth, and he bit his lip as he took a pause and a breath, because he was aching to cut to the chase and just kiss him. He was so hopelessly in love with everything about him, he wanted it, wanted it forever, all his perfections and flaws, everything that made him Ryan.

They knew everything about eachother. Brendon knew of every particular curl that sprang up when Ryan’s hair started to grow long, the map of veins under the skin of his hands, the slope of his collarbone, his throat, his jaw. He knew how his voice became low and rough when he was the happiest, and that he chewed up the words he truly meant but it was okay because Brendon understood anyway. Brendon knew how he tasted, sounded, looked, felt- it was dramatic, maybe, but Brendon was hopelessly in love and it was moments like this where it really hit him. They’d be together- forever. The word was overkill, now, but neither of them cared. Nothing else mattered. They complimented eachother, so different but so in tune- the sun, the moon, the analogy they’d played out for so long but fit them so well it had stuck for years and it was an open secret that everyone knew about but felt so bizarrely intimate that they both found themselves flushing and grinning uncontrollably when they talked about it. They were disgustingly sweet and joined at the soul and they were going to get married.

I love you, too. A simple, familiar phrase, but Brendon heard all of the meaning behind it. He was smiling, helplessly, and quickly reached into his pocket to present his future husband the ring he’d chosen. There was a beat of silence, stillness, and then Ryan leaned in, grinning, resting their foreheads together. Brendon finally exhaled. And I want you to marry me. ”Thank fuck,” He laughed, glancing down at Ryan’s presented hand before he was quickly distracted when Ryan drew him in for a kiss. Everything felt muted for a while, and Brendon’s eyelashes fluttered. He stayed where he was, close and twined, but took the ring carefully out of the box and took careful hold of Ryan’s hand, ready to slide it on. Can’t believe you’re so sneaky. I had no idea. God, I love you so much. Brendon was grinning, unable to find words, and just slid the ring delicately onto Ryan’s ring finger, before bringing his hand up to his mouth and kissing it gently. We’re fiancés.

God, they were. Brendon nodded, enthusiastic, unable to draw his eyes away from Ryan’s hands. They looked better now. How long did you- I mean, when did you even start planning...? ”Not long before we even left to go here,”Brendon admitted. ”But I’ve thought about it for months.” He then looked up at Ryan, and decided they weren’t close enough- fuelled by a surge of ecstasy, he moved forwards, onto Ryan’s lap, wrapping his arms around his fiancé’s neck and pressing his mouth against his lips, then his skin. ”Nothing matters but you. Nothing.”

i'm just taking in the scenery || b&r

When Brendon had imagined this scenario, he admittedly didn’t take into account the fact that he would be so nervous he struggled to even speak without his voice wavering. He wasn’t scared, per say, but this was huge, this changed everything but also nothing at all. They’d be the same, behave the same- they’d just be able to refer to eachother as husbands, and Ryan’s surname would be Blake. Yeah. There was no way Brendon was becoming ‘Brendon Ready’, and though he doubted Ryan would insist on that, if he did, the wedding was effectively of until Brendon could change his mind. Either way, his heart was racing in his chest, even as he lay comfortably on Ryan’s chest, listening to his own slower, more relaxed heartbeat and hoping it would would steady his own. He felt Ryan’s arms wrap around him and pull him closer, and felt a dizzy rush of attachment, like he was exactly where he was supposed to be and never wanted to move. They could stay there forever, for all he cared, as long as he remained in Ryan’s arms.

No, you. Brendon smiled, turning his face into his chest to hide his grin, a behaviour that was usually attributed to Ryan. ”Very articulate, baby,” He commented softly, letting his eyes fall shut and his face relax. He felt, again, an intense sense of belonging and connection that he didn’t experience a lot- they were always in love, he always felt drawn to him, but overwhelming emotions like these were reserved for passionate moments, or public but intimate actions like Brendon wrapping Ryan graciously in a pride flag, one of many that fans held out for him to take. He always ended up there, both of them draped in it, the image of a cliche, but not really caring and completely in love. Ryan always turned the mic away, said something profound that felt too private, too personal for the fans to hear. And Brendon kissed him, gentle, then reluctantly pulled away when he realised he actually had to sing soon because Dallon was getting impatient and starting to play the bassline of the next song. There was only so much PDA that their fellow bandmates could take- Spencer especially had seen and heard enough at the cabin.

This was similar, but mellower, more peaceful- even if the air was alight with apprehension, they managed to settle, Brendon’s limbs feeling like lead. How the hell was he supposed to do this? A part of him considered cutting the chase and just outright asking with no long-winded lead-up, but then he considered everything he had to say, all the things he felt for Ryan that were so hard to put into words but he was going to give it his best shot. So he broke the comfortable silence with his soft, low voice, being deliberately vague, but not enough so that Ryan was confused. He seemed surprised, but didn’t say anything at first, just listened. Me, neither. Brendon had sat up by then, and though he missed the familiarity of Ryan’s embrace, he knew if he stayed he’d just fall asleep. ”You never were,” He laughed gently, prodding Ryan in the side as Ryan more serenely drifted a hand through Brendon’s hair. ”It was always me, being stupid. I don’t know why I ever thought I didn’t want to spend my entire life with you.”

Ryan then took his hand, another familiar, comforting gesture, and Brendon held on tight as their fingers automatically intertwined. Brendon turned to look at him, meaningfully, words still on his tongue, but he was stopped momentarily, distracted by just searching his gaze, wondering whether he’d caught on yet. Ryan, surprisingly, tended to be the more observant out of the two of them. He moved in suddenly to kiss him, effectively to quell his desire to do so, so he could concentrate. If he didn’t stick to the right think he’d get distracted, and they’d be there all night, waiting for Brendon to find the right words to propose to the love of his entire life. Anyway, he noticed that little glimmer in his honey eyes, and felt his chest tighten- firstly because fuck, his eyes, Brendon wasn’t sure he’d ever get over them, and secondly, Brendon was pretty sure he knew where this was going. No turning back now, he thought- but then, he’d never intended to. Brendon kissed him again, impulsively.

I’m glad you say that, baby. I - I dream about it, honestly. Brendon felt his heart melt a little, but then it had been since they’d first arrived at the cabin when Brendon, who previously thought himself to not be that sentimental about places and memories, was crushed by the weight of the familiarity of the location- particularly the lakeshore, and Ryan’s old room. ”What do you dream about?” He asked tentatively, asking for more clarification. Were they on the same page? ’Forever’. That was telling enough. Brendon inhaled, exhaled, tightened his grip on Ryan’s hand, then shifted a little closer to his boyfriend, deciding that if he didn’t do it now, he’d never get around to it and they really wouldn’t get anywhere. At least he was now pretty sure what Ryan’s answer was going to be.

”I- listen,” Not that he thought Ryan wasn’t. Ryan’s attention was fully on him. ”It’s funny, because, back when we first fell in love here, I would never have thought about doing this.” Brendon swallowed, blinked, managed a smile. ”I thought ‘forever’ was so’- terrifying. Overwhelming. And maybe it is a lot, but I don’t care anymore. I love you, more than anything, you’re the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep, and there’s nowhere I’d rather be than by your side. Forever,” He repeated, and he paused, trying not to smile when he brought his free hand down into his pocket and pulled out what he’d been holding on to for hours- the ring box. Freeing his other hand from Ryan’s, he held his breath, opened it, and then spoke, soft but sure, wholly in love. ”I want you to marry me, darling.”

say what you mean ; b&r ; tell me i’m right

When Ryan had asked for some time off, and been deliberately vague and nondescript, Brendon of course would have preferred it if Ryan stayed, but he wasn’t one to force people into doing things. He was lenient as far as employers went- but maybe because the situation was unique and their relationship was far beyond simple professionalism, he was biased. Either way, initially it hadn’t bothered him that much; he had Shane to occupy his time (that was probably the only thing he was good for- distracting Brendon, filling up his time to keep him from growing bored). In fact, when Ryan asked him, he almost made a joke- something along the lines of make sure your stand-in is just as good in bed- but the wounds there were still sore when brought up, and they weren’t quite back to that level of comfortability. So he held his tongue, and instead just readily agreed to put him on paid leave. He worked hard enough- he deserved the break, and whatever he planned to do with the time.

Maybe if stupid Shane hadn’t been in the right place at the right time, Brendon and Ryan would be dating and the visit Brendon was making to his apartment wouldn’t be an anxious, tense one, it would be comfortable and familiar and maybe they’d be curled up in bed, Brendon able to enjoy staying with someone without any particular goal. He’d fall asleep in his arms, wake up in his arms, and kiss him whenever he wanted, gentle but meaningful. He lost himself in the daydream for just a heartbeat, but then Ryan’s voice coaxed him out of his wishful thinking. Oh. Well, I’m still glad you did it. I’m- I’m proud of you, for being able to. Brendon nodded appreciatively, leaning back into the cushions with a sigh and looking at the ceiling because it didn’t have to take him this long, but here he was, having only just accepted he felt things for Ryan beyond what he initially brashly and dismissively claimed to be just sexual attraction, thereby shattering everything Ryan thought could rise from a single night and reducing their intimacy to a casual fling. ”I was stupid,” He sighed finally, dispelling his thoughts. ”It’s not like I loved him. I barely even liked him. I was stupid for dating him in the first place.”

Brendon was melancholy, but also motivated by a need for answers, explanations. He wanted Ryan to come clean with whatever was on his mind so they no longer had to dance around sensitive topics like this. Maybe being visibly frustrated wouldn’t help his cause, but it was hard to control, so when he asked Ryan questions, they sounded like provoking interrogations. It worked, though- Ryan dropped his walls and had the decency to look more than sheepish. I know. That was something, but it was too late now. He had needed Ryan, both personally and professionally, scraping by with a tattered excuse of a relationship with Shane clasping onto his throat with two hands. And where had Ryan been? God knows what he’d actually been doing over the past two weeks- he hardly went anywhere at all. I wasn't even thinking about how inconsiderate it was, at the start. I just. Did what I thought was best for me. I'm so sorry, Bren, it was... beyond selfish.

Brendon was surprised by this confession, thinking previously it would be much harder to pry into Ryan’s reasoning and strip down his arguments until he was transparent. But here it was, almost instantly, an apology, remorse- even if the timing was poor and it seemed slightly like he was just saying what Brendon wanted to hear, it was apology, and Ryan sounded genuine. So Brendon let his expression momentarily soften. ”It’s okay, I forgive you for that- I wouldn’t want to be around Shane for another second any more, either.” At least they were united by the mutual hatred of Shane. Everything else was another story, as became obvious soon. Yeah. I know I would have. Even if his answer was irrelevant- Ryan would never have to prove it, because Shane was out of the picture- his answer was important to Brendon, because he wondered whether this hatred for Valdes outweighed his loyalty and friendship owed to Brendon. For once, the answer didn’t disappoint him- he had expected the worst.

So far, their interaction had been bittersweet, if a little quiet and uneasy, but once Ryan mentioned getting over him, Brendon was sure he felt a little sick to the stomach, because if Ryan got over him so fast, he would be pretty sure nobody was capable of liking him for so long, full stop. At first, he was at a loss for words, everything he wanted to say trapped in his mind because he knew if he started talking he’d go off on a tangent that made no sense. So he controlled his breathing, trying not to make a mountain out of a molehill, and listened after he posed such a vulnerable, honest question to someone who could make him or break him in a couple of seconds. Don’t you want me to be? No, hell no, Brendon wanted to be liked just as much as Brendon liked him, he hoped that the hopeless ache in his heart was replicated inside Ryan’s. Brendon wanted to be adored with someone’s every fibre of being, and similarly, he wanted to care about someone with all of his heart and soul. Dramatic, maybe, but true.

But he stayed silent. It's not like I have a chance. If you just want, like, the satisfaction of knowing I... feel the way I do, then... I'm sorry. It hurts too much. Okay, that stung, and Brendon tried not to wince, just swallowed his guilt. Ryan had every reason to believe that Brendon just wanted an ego boost after he’d dumped Shane and had nobody to suck up to him any more- Ryan was firsthand witness to some of the callous moments and heartless actions he’d taken in the past, so maybe he was right to be defensive. Still, it hurt, because Brendon was realising the damage he’d done and what people really thought of him. That he was careless with other people’s hearts, played with feelings, was reckless with emotions when they weren’t his. Maybe his reputation, as Shane said, really did far precede him. He needed to clear lots of things up and he intended to right then.

”That’s not what it is, I don’t need my ego stroking or anything-“ He began, but honestly, he really did. Brendon paused, realising he should have thought about what to say before he started speaking, and apparently the pause was too long because Ryan was speaking again. I’m not. Brendon felt hope and anticipation flare up inside his chest as his heart sped up, starting a wild rhythm. Ryan wasn’t over him. I tried, and it’s easy to pretend, but I’m not. Brendon’s whole body sort of relaxed even though he was pent-up on anticipation and almost excitement. ”It’s easy to pretend,” He echoed softly. Those words resonated in his chest, because that’s all he had been doing for the past several months- pretending he didn’t wish it was Ryan in his arms, not Shane, and obstructing any chance they had at being together because he was scared at just how much he did subconsciously like him. Brendon had missed so many chances- this might be his final, and luckily, it seemed to be going in the way he wanted it to. Brendon inhaled and exhaled shakily, but with an odd refound confidence.

”...I like you, Ryan,” He said suddenly, having sat up, but on its own, the confession sounded weightless, meaningless. So he elaborated. ”Like... Really. I want- I want to date you, Ryan, it’s always been you, I want someone to call my own and be with in every way and I don’t want that unless it’s with you.” His voice was quiet, raw, vulnerable, and he wasn’t meeting Ryan’s eyes. “I chose Shane because I was scared. I didn’t want to hurt you, or myself, and when I broke up with him I thought I no longer had a chance, but-” He looked up, finally, unsure, but hopeful. ”You still like me. You feel the same. I- I’m just sorry it took so long.” Another pause, and Brendon was pushing his hair out of his eyes, tentatively tasting the blood on his lip and swallowing. He had so much more to say but he didn’t know how to say it, so he remained silent, just waiting for response.

say what you mean ; b&r ; tell me i’m right

Looking around, Brendon confirmed in the back of his mind that yeah, Ryan’s decor of choice was... Interesting, to say the least. He had some eclectic neo-rustic vibes going on, and when Brendon placed this image adjacent to a view of his own luxurious modern penthouse, he realised just how different they really were, and always had been. In most ways, they were nothing alike- appearance, personality, interests (save for music, they both played guitar and sang, and their tastes overlapped generously in most areas). It was stupid, but Brendon wondered whether that whole ‘opposites attract’ thing was true. Because Brendon was nothing if not hopelessly attracted to Ryan, even more so now that Ryan looked so different, so much better after only two weeks away. He wondered what the motivation was, there, considering he’d given up on keeping good appearance about a month into Brendon and Shane’s pseudo-relationship.

He was nervous, which was strange, because usually Ryan’s presence comforted him and made him feel calm. Now it was the other way around and Brendon was anxious- not only because Ryan seemed so much more intimidating to him now, but because of the nature of what Brendon wanted to say to him. And- even though before he’d told himself he had nothing to lose- he had so much to lose, and that potential loss was sitting across from him on the couch, legs crossed. However, this was Brendon- he always found time to laugh, or even fake his confidence until it became real. So he managed, and a concerned-looking Ryan seemed to visibly relax, even if he did look away down to his hands. Brendon felt his heart skip wildly- he knew that Ryan was hopeless for his smile— was Ryan worried it’d have such an affect on him again? Hope built up in his chest, and he felt newly self-assure, ready to ask questions he hadn’t been willing to over text, even if his voice wavered audibly when he asked them.

Ryan’s smile had faded upon the questioning, which Brendon expected. But he wasn’t going to leave without an answer- hopefully he wasn’t going to leave at all. What he did notice, though, was that when he dropped the bombshell that he and Shane were no longer together, Ryan’s expression didn’t change at all. Maybe he already knew? It was all over the tabloids, but Brendon knew Ryan didn’t read them... If he did know, that would spell trouble for his endeavour, because that would mean there was some other reason beside Shane that Ryan was keeping his considerable distance. Metaphorically. He still lived ten minutes away, but Brendon could speak for both of them when he said that he felt so far apart. Just now, you dumped him? Brendon set his jaw, because no, not quite. I was wondering why you looked sort of anxious. Brendon could’ve laughed, because his breakup with Shane had barely affected him at large, and the reason he was so on edge was so not Shane. Brendon just shrugged one shoulder, not committing to an answer.

Not like you. Congratulations, then. I’m sure he didn’t take it well. No, definitely not- which was weird, because Shane didn’t care about him. Maybe he just really didn’t like being told no. Reminded Brendon of himself. He clicked his tongue, dispelling away all memories of Shane. He didn’t want to think about him anymore. But he just had to clear something up. ”I broke up with him a week ago today,” Brendon said carefully, not meeting his eyes and instead staring down at the sofa for a few seconds. Hopefully that wouldn’t be a big deal, but for some reason, he didn’t think his luck would hold out. Brendon moved on anyway, still wanting answers- why, why, why. Why did Ryan leave? Okay, so he knew the answer to that one. Ryan just confirmed it, with some extra added detail. But, um. It was... partially him. Partially him? ”And partially what else?” He interrupted, but realise Ryan wasn’t done and quietened down. I didn’t want to upset you, being... The way I was around him. Okay, Whatever. Brendon knew that Ryan knew that Brendon really wasn’t that invested in Shane to begin with. Ryan knew that they wouldn’t last very long. But he said nothing.

I wasn’t sure if I could come back and, like, be different. Calmer. So I was working on that. But, for what it’s worth, I still want to beat his ass. Brendon smiled briefly, because who didn’t- but then questions were being raised inside his head and there was so much he wanted to know and ask and say. ”Why didn’t you tell me this when you asked me for time off? I needed you, you know. Shane was a dick, sure, but- I think it was a little dramatic to just up and leave with no context.” Brendon was speaking in a low voice, carefully, his tone thick with doubt. There was something that Ryan wasn’t saying. And I was trying to get over you, so that it was easier to see you with him. I've been afraid that, if I came back, I'd just feel the same all over again. Brendon looked stunned, because that was a hell of a lot to process. His mind was racing- Ryan was trying to get over him, fuck, had he succeeded, had he not, had he taken too long to talk to him- and he just kind of stared blankly, words on his tongue but not able to reach the air.

I think I can come back, though. I mean, I’d like to. Brendon’s heart sank. That meant Ryan was over him enough to work alongside him with no troubles. He resigned back further into the couch, drawing himself in to be smaller, and bit his lip hard until it started to bleed, not even realising he’d broken skin until he tasted blood. ”Would you- if me and Shane stayed together, you’d still have come back, right?” He sounded hopeful, but not to sure of himself. ”And... You want to get over me? Why? I-” Shit. He’d opened the can of worms now, and he panicked, but couldn’t backpedal from here to make it seem like nothing. So he pressed on, sitting up straighter, meeting Ryan’s eyes and trying to stay focused, not think about how they were the exact colour of honey and Brendon seriously wanted to kiss him. ”Are you over me?”

say what you mean ; b&r ; tell me i’m right

Ryan was his second assistant, and the only reason Brendon was looking to hire anyway was because, well, it would keep his parents happy, make it seem like he was trying to maintain some order and gain some control over his chaotic, party-centric and hedonistic lifestyle. In fact, he hadn’t organised anything at all, it had been his father; and though Brendon would be in charge and would pay the employee, the majority of Brendon’s money came from the bank of his parents, so in reality, Ryan kind of worked for Boyd in that he made sure his son didn’t do something especially stupid. He had a habit of not thinking before he put things on social media, doing stupid shit in public, saying stupid shit in public. He was a troublemaking playboy who looked astoundingly pretty and charming in every photo taken of him- he was a wet dream for the media, who snapped at his ankles, slavered at his feet, waited for him to make one wrong step in the hope of bringing everything crashing down at his feet. Jokes on them- Brendon had been standing amongst the rubble of a life that had been planned for him since he was a teenager.

Though not immediate, Ryan brought order into his life, and he was surprisingly good at his job considering Brendon had only hired him because a) he took the wine that Brendon offered him and b) he had the guts to ask about some pretty scandalous rumour that had been going around. From that, Brendon expected him to last about a week before it became too much, but Ryan surprised him, and suddenly they were close friends, and then they were sleeping together. It all happened relatively quickly, within months- Brendon often tried to remember what his life had been like before Ryan had been regulating the ammount of bullshit he did and said and pretty much acting as a publicist/glorified babysitter. Not that great, he recalled- though he enjoyed partying and overindulgence and spending carelessly on exuberantly expensive champagne and engaging in more one night stands than he could care to remember. Brendon’s problem wasn’t that he was a victim of bad press- it was that a lot of what they wrote scathingly about him was true. He was a privileged, entitled, arrogant son of a billionaire- and in many ways, he still was.

Brendon knew that Ryan would disagree- say that he wasn’t selfish or shallow, that he was compassionate and dynamic and mercurial and a joy to be around. He accepted this praise readily, but the scathing words Ryan had said to him that morning after still stung when he thought about them too long- that he didn’t care about people, he was reckless with emotions, he was inavailable, vulnerable and aggressive all at once. He felt like he was being peeled away at, like layers of himself were being stripped. Brendon didn’t like not being in control, so he snapped, and sent Ryan away. Not even three days later, they were fine, and as they grew closer after that, they reached the point where they were close and affectionate and if somebody didn’t know Brendon any better, they would think, hey, those two are dating, they’re probably in love. They weren’t dating. They weren’t in love. But Brendon had been convinced by Gabe and Ryan- he wanted to know what love felt like. Maybe if he hadn’t gone for Shane, instead, he would know.

Or maybe not. It was all a guessing game, now. The only thing that was certain was that Brendon had chosen Shane, then dumped Shane, but before he realised he should have done that right at the start, Ryan had left with no explanation and no apology, leaving Brendon’s affairs in the hands of some stranger. He was nice enough to them, but often short- not mean, he was just easily irritable. Brendon missed Ryan, and the more time he spent with Shane, the more he realised that. Now, Brendon was sure for once in his life that he actually liked someone in more ways than physical, he wanted to be with someone, introduced someone as his boyfriend and have nobody whisper about it, saying stuff like I bet he’s just another hookup and I wonder how long he’ll last before getting bored this time. Maybe the last part would never happen, but what would it matter if he really was in a healthy relationship, not one where his boyfriend had demanded to see his phone...

Bygones. Brendon was here now, at Ryan’s door, staring at Ryan, trying not to let sweet memories turn bitter on his tongue. Ryan looked... so good. Back in the time when Shane and Brendon were in the midst of their disaster of s relationship, Ryan had stopped caring about his appearance altogether, but apparently that had changed- but who would Ryan want to look good for? He knew him well enough to know it wouldn’t be for vanity. Brendon considered hopefully that maybe Ryan had been thinking about Brendon in the same way that he thought about Ryan. When Ryan spoke again, he barely heard, he was that distracted by all possibilities clouding his mind. No, I’m free. There was a pause, and Brendon wondered if he was lying, but he wasn’t about to complain and walked past his assistant, too nervous to properly register the details of this new place. He knew it would be of decent size- Brendon payed him a lot, really- and that the decor would be questionable. Ryan wasn’t much of an interior designer. Luckily for him, he didn’t notice the sticky notes.

Brendon checked again that Ryan didn’t have to go anywhere tonight. If all went well, he wanted to stay with him. He asked, but his question trailed off suddenly when he felt Ryan’s hand test comfortably on the small of his back. He felt himself short circuit yet again, inhaling sharply, his nerves electrified, every other sense muted so he could focus on that light but firm touch, guiding him into the living room. Brendon mourned its loss when Ryan went over to sit down on his couch. No, I don’t have to be. You can take a seat if you want. Brendon nodded, and moved to sit on the same couch but on the opposite side. Do you want something to drink? I have, uh... water. For once in the evening, Brendon looked amused, grinning and shaking his head. ”No thanks, I’ve got to drive home,” He teased, settling back into the cushions and trying to fully relax. This was Ryan. Why was he so anxious? What’s the worst that could happen?

I'm glad you're here, 'cause I wanted to say, um... I miss you, too. He said that as if the two of them had no choice, like they couldn’t see eachother, when their apartments were barely ten minutes apart. Brendon stayed silent- he was confused, but also felt warm. Ryan had missed him. I never know what to do with myself anymore. Stupid, I know. Blinking and considering this, Brendon raised an eyebrow, looking confused. ”Why- why haven’t you come back? Why did you leave in the first place?” He sounded accusatory. That wasn’t his intention. He was more sad than anything. ”...Okay, yeah, Shane, he’s a fucker. I dumped him- by the way.” Was he even talking? He heard words come out of his own mouth, but distantly, like he was distracted- and he was, by Ryan, who looked so annoyingly and effortlessly handsome. Did Ryan have any idea what he did to Brendon? Was it the same the other way around? Brendon had so many questions, so much to say. But he had to breathe.

say what you mean ; b&r ; tell me i’m right

Brendon still wasn’t sure why Ryan took a ‘break’ in the first place- Shane, maybe, but if Ryan really was a good friend, would he leave without a second thought and not see Brendon in person just because he locked horns with his boyfriend? He understood more than anyone that it might have been awkward considering their own complicated history, but he hadn’t considered Ryan petty or affected enough to take action and resign, temporarily or not. Naturally, he’d just shrugged it off and accepted, asking for no clarification or details, but he was upset, because Ryan had been vague and direct, like it was more of a statement than an ask for permission. Shane, on the other hand, was over the moon, and Brendon had to constantly half-reprimand him for insulting his best friend. Not too, much, though, or he’d be accused of cheating or wanting Ryan, or something. And, again, Brendon was a lot of things, but he wasn’t unfaithful, even to people who didn’t deserve his loyalty. In fact, he doubted that Shane stayed true, anyway- Brendon was a better man than he.

Once he had successfully cut him off and given Shane a piece of his mind for being a manipulative, controlling piece of shit, he felt empowered for a brief while, but then he felt weak. Why had the let Shane do it in the first place? Why hadn’t he listened to his friends? Why hadn’t he cut it off earlier? Was he that desperate, did he want people to like and want him that badly? Brendon was caught in an unhealthy headspace, and at times, he was almost delusional and missed Shane. When Brendon had given him what he wanted, done as he pleased, Shane was sickly sweet and affectionate and called him sweetheart and bren and baby. He wanted that from someone, and the only person willing to stick around for that was Shane- for all his flaws, he wasn’t the one to end it. Even Ryan had ditched Brendon, no explanation, no communication other than professional. Sure, he’d made a bad choice, had an error of judgement when picking a boyfriend, but to leave? Brendon kind of understood, but- again, he felt like Ryan had picked up the knife he’d already accidentally used once and just straight-up plunged it into his back.

It probably wasn’t that dramatic. Ryan worked hard, he deserved time off, and the replacement was organised and efficient- but Brendon missed him desperately, more than physically, he missed his presence and his voice and how he knew his exact Starbucks order off by heart. He felt lost without him, and the fact that they weren’t even on proper speaking terms (neither of them seemed willing to start any deep conversations) was killing him. But he did nothing until after Shane. Shane, who once he had been kicked to the curb, wasted no time in spreading rumours about Brendon, selling stories to the media and tabloids and making Brendon glad he’d never been stupid enough to send anything like some other short-sighted celebrities he’d heard of. Now that was something Brendon’s father probably couldn’t let go. Speaking of his parents, they had known about Shane because Brendon had brought him up eagerly at first, but neither seemed very happy for Brendon. He knew they were both set on him marrying a woman and having children, and he had no energy to left to do his usual and confront them about being judgemental and heavy-handed with his life. He just quickly changed the subject when he felt awkwardness rise.

To put it simply, Brendon was a mess- sending someone who was never really his lover lyrics meant for people who were together, or had been. They’d never even been official, they’d slept together, and though they grew much closer towards the end, it was all a less than wonderful caricature of intimacy. Brendon felt something strong and he knew it, even back then- he just didn’t have the guts to act on it so he swerved on Ryan, acted as if nothing had ever happened and landed in the arms of the first douchebag who said he was pretty. Great going, Brendon. You fucked up your chances with the only person who ever wanted to date himfor readons beyond money and recognition. To try and rebuild it all piece by piece, he picked up their old habit, and the lyrics that Ryan sent back he wrote down and read over, wondering how the hell Ryan managed to be so vague all the time, like he was wearing all the pieces of his heart on his sleeve and Brendon just needed to figure out how they all fit together. Ryan, Brendon knew, had no skeletons in his closet- he’d dressed them all up, put them into songs, so obvious but disguised beyond fully understanding.

Brendon was, in short, newly obsessed with him, like a teenage crush. It had taken a week to build up to, but he eventually worked up the courage to go and see him, and he was impressed with himself for not even having to have a few drinks first to calm his nerves. Instead, he decided to remain all hyperactive and jittery, his mind racing, knowing there were a thousand things he wanted to say and not enough time to get it all out in one night. Maybe. Maybe Ryan wouldn’t need a full explanation, maybe he’d forgive him, maybe Brendon would be able to stop reminiscing on the gentle kisses they once shared in favour of the real thing... Brendon was daydreaming in the back of the car. He hadn’t decided to wear anything special- just a plain black t-shirt and jeans, no jacket, because it was a warm evening and he planned on staying inside if Ryan would let him. He would, wouldn’t he? Why would he not? They were still friends, they were speaking now, even if their manner of communication was cryptic and vague.

Ryan lived nearby, he had to, part of the job. Brendon realised only after reaching his front door that he’d never even been in the building before. Brendon was so absorbed in his own little world sometimes that he forgot other people had their own lives, that Ryan’s life didn’t revolve around him, even if making sure he didn’t fuck things up was his career of choice. Well, maybe not a first choice. Brendon was thinking too much. He ran his hands through his hair, blinked violently for a few seconds and then knocked on the door. It only took a few heartbeats and it opened, and there he stood, two weeks older than when they’d last met eyes. Brendon felt himself fully melt, and his brain short circuited. Was he at the right apartment? In front of him was some stranger, tall and ruggedly handsome with a stubble that suited him better than he would ever have imagined and hair that was wavy and swept loosely over to the side. He was wearing a leather jacket and jeans, and he leaned against the door casually, and Brendon realised he needed to close his mouth. He did, and reached out to steady himself on the doorframe.

It had been two weeks and Brendon had almost forgotten- exactly why he was attracted to Ryan Ready in the first place. Two weeks and suddenly, he was an eleven. Brendon wasn’t sure what to do with himself, and realised it had probably been a full thirty seconds. Hey. His smile. His voice. Brendon wanted to hear him saying his name. Brendon managed a smile, but still looked uncharacteristically nervous. Long time no see. Are you okay? Tht was your call, Brendon thought, and blinked, moving a hand up to scratch the back of his neck almost defensively. ”Uh- yeah. Are you- are you busy?” He even looked like he’d grown somewhat more muscular, and realised that this had probably taken months, but Brendon had been too involved in his shithole of a boyfriend. Everything else, though, down to his fashion choices, were new, and Brendon appreciated it. “Can I come in?” His hands twitched by his sides, he wanted to tangle his fingers in Ryan’s hair and kiss him, but he did nothing, just crossed his arms loosely across his chest to appear casual. ”Do you have to be somewhere?”

say what you mean ; b&r ; tell me i’m right

Brendon had, effectively, shut off most of his brain for the past several months. It had all started when he decided it would be a good idea to ditch the blossoming intimacy between him and his assistant, Ryan, to start dating Shane Valdes, a well-known general douchebag. Even the slightest possibility of any romantic relationship with Ryan, he concurred eventually after months of being blind, deaf and stupid, would have been preferable over his mess of a ‘relationship’ with Shane. It was more of a deal, a one-sided arrangement, if you like, looking back- all Shane did was take, take, take, money and affection and the spotlight, and Brendon received in return... What? The privilege of telling every he finally had a relationship, a boyfriend, a stable form of romance, even if it was just a caricature? Brendon looked back on how Shane had treated him and wondered what the hell had lead him not only to date him in the first place, but to continue doing so for so long when someone so much better was there the whole time.

Brendon wasn’t graceful about the breakup, didn’t let Shane down easy, because he didn’t deserve it, and not only that, he probably didn’t care. Brendon had been a temporary means to an end, anyway, and by now, he knew that he never meant anything to that man in the first place. That was okay. The feeling- or lack of feeling- was mutual. It was just a regular day when Brendon realised, Shane came round in the evening like always, but when Brendon wasn’t paying attention to him and was instead on his phone, apparent raging suspicion took hold and he’d demanded to know who he was texting, give me your phone, your reputation precedes you, do you think I’m joking. Brendon had snapped- he refused to put up with that level of possessiveness that he once thought was just a funny way of showing he cared- and though he was itching to just yell, he calmly told Shane don’t fucking talk to me like that, get the fuck out, we’re over, you have a serious problem. Shane did admittedly seem somewhat taken aback, but the surprise on his obnoxiously handsome face faded quickly and was replaced by irritation and impatience. Shane was naturally stereotypical, saying things likeyou’ll never find someone like me, and Brendon had just replied with that’s the idea.

The last thing that Shane had said to Brendon was something about Ryan and how he could finally play happy families with his little lapdog. Shane was wrong- Brendon and Ryan hadn’t spoken face to face in about a week, because Ryan had asked for some time off, and Brendon granted it to him, not asking any questions, not even setting a timeframe. He figured his assistant was fed up of Shane, and because their husk of a relationship was deteriorating at that point anyway, Brendon didn’t blame him. He just- he thought he meant a couple of days, not a week. They hadn’t texted, either, not conversationally- just Brendon asking where he left files so he could give them to the temporary replacement and professional shit like that. Ryan replied courteously, but other than that, it was robotic. After Brendon broke up with Shane, though, Ryan was all he could think about, on his mind 24/7, behind his eyelids when he was alone.

He had scrolled through miles of messages and seen in reverse how they had grown close, emotionally intimate, and then it had faded away around the same time Shane arrived on the scene, their closeness waxing and waning, documented in the form of brief lyrical texts that they sent back and forth, linked by a love of music and inspired mostly by their own complicated circumstances. It had stopped altogether a couple of months ago- they hadn’t been close on that level in ages, despite still identifying eachother as best friends- and Brendon’s heart ached when he read through them because he felt something, something real, almost a yearning, wondering what could have been. Or what could be. Was it too late to start over again? Brendon, usually forward, was hesitant to even talk to Ryan directly after his and Shane’s breakup, and didn’t even mention that to him- but he started texting him again, lyrics he conjured while his mind was occupied with emotions and doubts, and though tentative, he received them back. They didn’t need to give eachother any context.

Brendon asked Ryan when he was coming back to work- Ryan replied that he didn’t know- and then Ryan had asked how he and Shane were doing, and Brendon left him on read, not wanting to lie, but not wanting to tell the truth, either. He wasn’t sure why. During the week that followed his and Shane’s breakup (it wasn’t as heart-wrenching as people made it out to be, but then they hadn’t been very emotionally involved in the first place), he dragged Gabe around everywhere because Ryan still wouldn’t come back to work. Brendon was slightly worried that Ryan wouldn’t come back at all if he just left it, and maybe this was just an easier way of quitting, rather than making the commitment immediately and saying it to Brendon’s face. He never asked for clarification, after all, and he couldn’t bring himself to do it now, instead vague-texted him things like ‘I miss you’ and ‘this replacement sucks’ and ‘I swear I have no idea how I survived without an assistant- you in particular’. The responses to those messages were neutral, but Brendon couldn’t tell what Ryan’s reaction really was. They communicated better through their beforementioned habit of texting each other lyric fragments, pretentious, maybe, but it was their thing.

Brendon felt a little lost without Ryan, a little empty, but for once he didn’t try to fill it with one night stands with second hand lovers, and instead he just brooded, ever the poor little rich boy, lounging around in hotel suites because he couldn’t stand to be at his apartment because it was so empty. Not only were Ryan’s things long gone, but so was Ryan- and maybe he was being dramatic, surely he’d come back to work soon, but it was difficult to go to sleep in a familiar bed alone, so he distracted himself with unfamiliar environments and luxurious five-star suites and pointless socialite parties. Apart from that, he did nothing particularly shocking, though the media stayed on his back, reporting endlessly about his split with ‘lover Shane Valdes’. Hardly a lover. Brendon felt venom on his tongue whenever the press shout questions about their breakup, hackles raised, ready to say something stupid, but then the name Ryan Ready paired with words like lovers and rumours and secret reached his ears and the defiance died down into resignation that was unusual for someone so usually outspoken.

Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, he couldn’t get him off his mind. A week it had taken, a week of reflection, and he came to a conclusion- he liked Ryan, romantically, genuinely, he wanted to be with him in every sense of the word, emotionally, intimately, physically. One Friday evening, marking two weeks since Ryan had asked for his ‘break’, Brendon couldn’t take it anymore. He had to let Ryan know, he had to tell him how he felt. As far as he knew, Ryan still liked him. On the way over (he’d chosen to be chauffeured, because the press always sort of hung around nearby), he fantasised- how Brendon would tell him how he felt, Ryan would be stunned and over the moon, they’d kiss and make up like he’d seen and heard about so many times- but once he got to Ryan’s door, having never been at his apartment before, nerves set in. He hadn’t seen him in two weeks and it felt like years. What’s wrong, Brendon asked himself. You’re Brendon Blake. You’re handsome, desirable, why wouldn’t he want you? Brendon exhaled, lifting a hand to knock on the door, his mind racing at a hundred miles an hour.

brilliant and bored || b&r

It was obvious to Brendon that Ryan had almost given up slightly in multiple ways, and just didn’t care anymore- he didn’t do anything with his hair so it was unruly and wildly curly (this wasn’t necessarily a bad thing- if the nature of their relationship was still the same, he’d have a lot to say about it that Ryan would probably like to hear), he tended to turn up with Brendon at important events in a hoodie, didn’t knock (but then he’d never had to and Brendon had never asked him to), and was just generally more passive about everything. It was a development that directly correlated with how they had tried to sweep everything intimate that had happened between them in the past under the metaphorical rug and not speak of it again, but the weight of that was always there, and it was difficult after months of them growing closer to just go back to square one. Or even before that- maybe Brendon just shouldn’t have hired him and this confusion wouldn’t happen. Brendon wouldn’t look at him an involuntarily think about the two of them, together. It was becoming a problem.

Ryan, on the other hand, didn’t seem bothered about it at all, and just sort of nodded mutely and half-shrugged when Brendon sort of suggested, sort of ordered that he moved all the stuff that had migrated over to Brendon’s apartment back to his own. His toothbrush, some of the clothes Brendon had actually stolen- it had gotten to the point where they behaved like boyfriends, lived like boyfriends, kissed like boyfriends, but they weren’t. Because Brendon had bumped into one irritating but admittedly attractive douchebag and decided he wanted that person to be his first real experience of an official, labelled relationship. But maybe it was less of one than Brendon and Ryan’s- 80% of the time, Shane just wanted something, and Brendon, generally willing to comply, let it happen, not really seeing that he was being taken advantage of and more expecting from the start that money and fame were more of an appeal than himself when people considered dating him. He had set himself up to be disappointed- but he had maybe chosen wisely; he didn’t actually have any attachment to Shane. He told himself that would come with time and shut away his doubts.

So, because semi-living together and spending the majority of their time together was now second nature, Ryan just walking in was something they hadn’t thought to discuss. Or maybe Ryan just didn’t care. He wouldn’t put it past him at this point. Ryan was clearly used to walking in and out without having to alert Brendon to his presence- when Brendon tentatively told him that maybe he should start, he looked like he was being scolded and Brendon shifted a little, uncomfortable. It wasn’t that Brendon wanted to be having this conversation, but it was more for Ryan’s sake than his. I get the picture. I’ll knock. Jesus. Brendon smiled, relieved, but noticed the hint of disdain to his tone and raised an eyebrow. ”Hey, is there a problem?” It sounded like an interrogation, but Brendon was more amused than anything, and there was nothing serious behind his tone. Still, he wondered if Ryan was wound-up because of annoyance, or jealousy, or both. Or maybe he didn’t care at all and Brendon was just hearing whatever he wanted to hear.

Brendon would have liked it if maybe Shane had spent a little longer in the shower, or stayed in the bedroom, or anything to give him and Ryan some alone time because they never got to be together any more. Shane was always there, and though that was Brendon’s choice most of the time, Ryan was his best friend and he missed being able to talk to him without Shane and Ryan almost starting a fight. But no, apparently Shane just sensed when Ryan was around, and walked straight from the shower out of the bedroom in one of Brendon’s fluffy white towels that wasn’t the one he had told Shane to use. Fucker. Brendon shrugged it off mentally- it wasn’t a big deal- and only half-engaged when Shane kissed him, just resting back into the sofa and wishing maybe Shane had an ounce of respect for Ryan. But that was wishful thinking, so he just looked at his assistant very apologetically. He knew that, even if he didn’t really care, this wasn’t something anybody really wanted to hear.

You could go be productive, too, if I’m bothering you. Brendon stifled a laugh, running a hand through his unruly hair which was followed by Shane’s hand dragging through it and tugging slightly. He bit his lip- but also wondered who exactly raised him. I was being productive. Brendon didn’t look, but he knew Shane was gesturing to him, so he elbowed him. Shane didn’t respond, just rested his hands on Brendon’s shoulders and announced his suspicions plain to everyone’s ears- that Ryan was trying to steal Brendon or something. Brendon was glad he hadn’t mentioned what had happened between him and Ryan, or he’d never hear the end of it and Shane would refuse to have him over. Not that it was his call to make. Speaking of which, Ryan apparently didn’t know it wasn’t common knowledge- or didn’t care. Right. I’ve seen it all before, it’s fine.

Brendon’s eyes widened and then closed, and he dragged his hands down across his face before staring at Ryan, obviously wondering what the hell was wrong with him. It was true, but... he shouldn’t say it. He mouthed ‘what the fuck’ in his direction. They were going to be talking about this later. What does that mean? Brendon’s mind went blank as he panicked, but for once, Ryan was quicker on his feet, and semi-redeemed himself. He’s my best friend. Aw. Brendon nodded reaffirmingly. ”Probably seen more than he wanted to.” He tried not to laugh, because this was so dumb and it was strange because Brendon and Ryan were still on the same team here. Brendon just felt obliged to keep the peace. Dry off and get dressed, you’re ruining shit. Obviously Shane didn’t listen, and instead walked around to sit beside him. If he ruined the goddamn sofa, Brendon would kick his ass. Or get Gabe to do it. I thought you had ‘stuff to do’. Maybe you should get on that.

”Babe, he’s my assistant, not yours. Listen, you’re not even dry, could you just, like- get dressed? And maybe come back later?” Shane looked affronted, like he was about to argue, but Brendon thought fast and leaned in, making some kind of promise that Shane probably wanted to hear. You could see his tune change by his expression alone, and he was smirking. Brendon. You should get him a muzzle. He shrugged a shoulder, mostly ignoring Ryan, and leaned over to kiss Shane, if only to console him. His boyfriend then stood up and went back into the bedroom, looking like he was using all his willpower to hold his tongue. The door shut. Brendon exhaled, laughing. ”I am so sorry. Listen, I promised him you’d leave before, like, five. I know you have a lot to do, but...”