• Last Seen: 2 yrs ago
  • Old Guild Username: RPG101
  • Joined: 10 yrs ago
  • Posts: 310 (0.08 / day)
  • VMs: 0
  • Username history
    1. rpg101 10 yrs ago

Status

User has no status, yet

Bio

User has no bio, yet

Most Recent Posts

I'll add you to the oldfag skype group


BURN IT ALL DOWN


no don't


THE HELL IS WRONG WITH Y'ALL.
Casting your net wide, I see.


You're all such interesting and attractive people it's just hard to crush on one of you <3
Every cute female in Spam.

Also Doivid.
In Hi~ 9 yrs ago Forum: Spam Forum
Y do u h8 me
In Resurrection? 9 yrs ago Forum: Spam Forum
Hmm, this calls for a Spamfic that a respectable amount of people enjoy for several episodes until I put it off for so long everyone forgets about it! All aboard the _yondaime_
Cairomaru said
Replace caffeine with booze and i 100% agree


ohmygawdiwantboozesobad
Nicotine and caffeine.

I need moar.
1. Your character has come upon an incredibly powerful weapon/wearable item that seems like it was tailored specifically for them. However, before finding it, they found a notice from a poor family claiming the item as a lost family heirloom. They could offer no reward other than gratitude and a sizable portion of the gold they'd made from selling their harvest, maybe 50 Septims. The heirloom itself is well worth much more.

Valsiore would have two viable options here. If the piece is useful to Valsiore, such as a weapon with tremendous power, or an item with an extremely handy enchantment, then he keeps it. Where else would he conveniently find such a useful piece of equipment with little drawback to taking it? However if it isn't much use to him, he'll have it appraised. A wandering mage doesn't have much coin to his name, so if the merchant that's appraising the equipment says it's worth quite a large sum, well, Valsiore has just found a new way to retire. Anything that isn't substantial however, will see the piece returned to its rightful owners, free of charge. Valsiore has had a family, once, and knows just how important heirlooms are, especially once that family is gone.

2. Your character has been hired, or picked up a bounty, to clear out a den of bandits and show the Jarl/Count the chief's distinctive ring for reward. Upon entering the den, you discover that the chief has convinced teenagers and children, orphans, to fight for him, and they are fanatical but very weak fighters. They could easily slow you down enough to let the chief escape into hiding if you do not mow them down, and if you sprint past them to go for the chief there is a chance they could flank you while you fight him.

A simple solution. The children are fanatical, and believe their chief is akin to a demigod, if not a deity. All you have to do is break them of that belief, and the one thing that shatters belief in anything is fear. A more kindhearted mage or wizard may try for a bit of illusion magic, but they may be too loyal to be broken by a simple charm spell or by false images, and every minute spent trying to fool them into fear is a minute the chief can use to get away. The answer is simple. Pick one of them to make an example of, the best choice would be the strongest one, or the most fanatical, the one that charges first and the other's look to for advice and action. Kill him. Slowly, painfully. A simple fireball to the face won't do. Lightning has to burn him to crisp, his skin has to be charred, his limbs must become burdened with an intense weight so he is paralyzed, then he has to scream while you cut him apart.

The children will abandoned their weapons soon after. If not, well, they at least will receive a quicker death. The clock is ticking for Valsiore after all.

3. Your character is wandering down the streets of Windhelm at night when a drunkard stumbles out of a nearby tavern, clearly smashed. He collides headfirst into you, and spills his ale all over your clothing. He barely acknowledges you, does not apologize, and prepares to continue lumbering on with his chortling, obnoxious drinking companions in tow.

Every man has enjoyed his fair share of drinks and spilled a cup or two on someone. Valsiore spent a few years of his life pursuing such noble occupations, and he wouldn't begrudge the Nord for having a bit of fun. An apology would have been nice, but he can easily find a way to work the wetness out, after all, his robe has seen much worse liquid than a bit of ale.

4. A very noisy beggar in the Imperial City has been sitting in the Market District the past few days, crying out to any passerby about his aching leg or starving wife. A guard has been stationed in the same area as him, keeping a watchful eye for the opportunity to drag him off and cease his begging. Your character is browsing the Market District when you come upon the beggar, who resumes his usual moaning, and finally the guard approaches you, whether or not you have given money to the beggar, and whispers, "That man has been here for days, but I can't arrest him because all he's doing is making noise. I'll give you the gold he's made today if you give me an excuse to drag him off, say he hit you or something. You'll be doing the public a favor."

Valsiore knows what its like to be without a home or future, and for that alone he'd refuse the offer from the guard. But he also knows what its like to earn a living and spit defiance in the face of overwhelming odds. He'd drop a handful of septims in front of the man, tell him the guard is looking for an excuse to drag him to jail, and to stop being such a disgrace to himself and his family. He's an Imperial, and if he has any hope to live a life that doesn't see him dead in a ditch, stabbed by some other jealous beggar, he needs to find a better occupation.

In other news!

Dervish said
Naw. She's not into leather-skinned things that have more teeth than her and can breathe underwater. Never trust something that doesn't need to come up for air.


The possibilities to make this into a joke are endless!

I shall also look into writing a post tomorrow when I'm doing the late shift at work. Also, my brain right now is shot from reviewing most of the poetry and essays I covered in my British Lit class. Someone send me Monster Energy and caffeine.
Darog the Badger God said
Dragon Age: Inquisition has quickly rose to be one of my favourite games by bioware. Sure the story is a lot simpler, but damn they needed a good villain, Bioware that is(No, Meredith, or The Archdemon aren't good villains, they are just final bosses.), and ***** Really delivers. All I can say, is that he needed more screen time. I've thoroughly enjoyed it so far.


yesyeysyesyesyesyesyesyesyes

My computer is like 90% complete. I know what I"m buying soon.
Voltaire said
Curses! I'm sorry guys, Ive just been too damn busy to get a good post together this week. Just move on and I'll catch up when I can.Extra apologies to you rpg101, Blade and Valsiore's heart to heart will come another day.


As someone who is dealing with finals next week, I completely understand. Fear not, one day Valsiore will heal the injuries of the great lizard.

And probably be subtly racist to him.
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet