Salroka

Naruto: Birth of a Better Generation

Marrow said
Um Beta, Is Kirugetsu good in transformation techniques?I was sondering how you managed to steal something from Maruki's room and how he will attack, I don't think the Hyūga (guards) are likely to cooperate with Kirugetsu...

It's cute how you jump to him STEALING something from you. Who is to say he doesn't just go BUY something that you might like, and hide it somewhere? Who is to say it won't be a new Jutsu Scroll? Who is to say it will be anything at all and he's just bullshitting you? And as far as his test, I am sure the Hyuga Clan would understand and grant Kirugetsu LIMITED access, likely under guard or under close watch, to make sure he didn't try anything. He IS a Jounin, and Maruki IS on his squad.

Naruto: Birth of a Better Generation

Marrow said
who is up to post for team moon? if no reaction i most likel will post within five hours or so.

I was the last one on our squad to post. It's really a toss-up between you, Mirth, and Lilly right now. Feel free to post.

Naruto: Birth of a Better Generation [Characters]

Requested Edits: Made.
Approval: Granted.

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Now comes the waiting while we figure out what squad to put you in.

Naruto: Birth of a Better Generation [Characters]

Durnehviir said
Firstly, nice bio and I really do like the Jibun no Shindo. I particularly like how it is translated. . Sounds really cool. Empaths are typically fun to play too and I enjoyed the background and dynamic of the ability as a whole. It was well written and pretty nicely thought out. But! The only thing that I personally thought about it was that I felt that it had far too many different applications. It seems to me like it stretches into extremes. I feel like a few of the abilities didn't entirely fit the theme of an emphatically inclined ability. It felt like Mind's Eye of the Kagura with the ability to assimilate matter into ones body, manipulate the emotions of others, and psychometry all at once. I feel like empathy would be focused on a mental, neural, or emotional genetic ability, however a few of the applications seem like they'd honestly stem from more biological/physiological/elemental genetic abilities instead. Almost seems a little awkward at an attempt for versatility. I also feel like you didn't elaborate on just why this is a Kekkei Genkai enough. Like what are the physical, mental, and emotional adaptions that make the Akizakura so different from normal people? From what I read, I almost felt like you could simply things and make it a Hiden instead of an outright Kekkei Genkai. Maybe a little more buff and fluff to make Jibun no Shindo more of a Kekkei Genkai and not just a clan specialization technique.

I also think the assimilation technique should be a fairly high level technique. That coupled with the mystical palm technique which is also exceptionally high for a Genin to freely use. Both of which without any mentioned formal training by anyone (at least in reference to the bio).

I also think that a Medic Genin and a Swordsmen Genin and a Sensor/Scout Genin and a Chakra-control genius Genin are all very different emphasis for this character. They seem highly versatile for just a Genin fresh out of the academy.

Nice character overall though.
I enjoyed the bio. Though, the image is a little mature for a young 12 year old. haha.

I would suggest not making any changes yet until Prince or Beta have a chance to look over the character as well.

Durn pretty much hits the nail on the head. She's well written and an enjoyable read, but seems to be trying to specialize in more areas than a Genin should. Perhaps were she a few years older and a Chunin, it might have been perfectly acceptable.

Chakra Scalpel and Mystical Palm technique are bot fairly advanced techniques that are usually only known by Skilled and Medically focused Chunin or Jounin. I'm perfectly fine with her starting to get the hang of one of them, perhaps even being able to use it to a degree outside of battle. But not both. Or, alternatively... she could know the CONCEPT of both of them, but still only be allowed to practice on dummies/dissections/etc.

I also like her empathetic abilities, but there will need to be an understanding that you won't go batshit crazy with them. Similarly with the weapon as well. But the character is well written enough that I feel I can let that go and trust you to use your better judgment.

Lastly... yeah, that picture is... unf. For the sake of not summoning pedobear, maybe find something that would be more age-appropriate for her? I mean... a 12 year-old with boobs bigger than my hands? IT'S A TRAP! RUN!!!!!

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If the requested edits/conditions are made/acceptable, then I will grant my approval.

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Perhaps an image like this?

Naruto: Birth of a Better Generation [Characters]

Marrow. For future reference, the CS IC is for characters only... not for random derping. Please do not do that again.

Naruto: Birth of a Better Generation

I had actually planned on going through it as if he were being interviewed by someone from the village. Like a reporter, or something of the sort.

But I will do that another time. right now, I need to try and sleep. It's 6AM and I was up all night again.

Naruto: Birth of a Better Generation

Her first test, considering how she burst in and was a foul-mouthed little tart... was to remain civil and moderately polite in an upscale establishment, even when presented with tension and the chance to do whatever she wanted.

Don't worry about failure. Again, two more tests.

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Also. I'm actually considering doing a verbal elaboration into Kirugetsu's war-time activities, now that I finally listened to Prince's RP intro.

Naruto: Birth of a Better Generation

Kirugetsu stared blankly at Maruki Hyuga as the kid went on a tangent about the Clan, his grandfather, his uncle, and all the other crap that the Hozuki Jounin had already expected. But then the kid said not only that he forgave Kirugetsu, but was honored to be his student?! Bullshit. And then, Kirin decided to pipe up about things. First, Kirugetsu's gaze moved to the young man. "Kid. Your grandfather wasn't so much a diplomat as he was a master swordsman and an even more focused killer than I was back then." The restaurant staff seemed reluctant to take the orders of anyone near the newly-formed squad of ninja, as tensions were rising among them.

Then he turned his attention to Kirin. "And when would you prefer he find out? On a mission where an enemy knows who I am, sees a Hyuga, and casually drops the fact that I killed a few of them in the past?" He stared at the girl and shook his head. "I didn't think so, either." ... a few minutes went by without Kirugetsu saying a word to any of his students, and when he finally spoke up, he chose to address all of the Genin under his wing. "Shisen. Kirin. You both pass part one of your test. Maruki, you fail." Surely they would all wonder what their tests were... and Kirugetsu was not one to keep them in the dark.

"Maruki. Someone of your heritage and potential should be outraged that one born of an outside clan and country would so brazenly gloat about slaying your kin. It would have been foolish to attack, of course. However, anger is a powerful weapon for the ninja who knows when and how to use it." A few moments of silence occurred before the older man continued speaking to the child. "Don't worry too much. You only failed part one of your test. But if you fail one of the following two parts, you will fail the test as a whole." Unfortunate, of course, but there was such a thing as extra credit... and Kirugetsu wasn't about to let his first squad in nearly twenty years fail out on him.

"We're all going to finish our meal, and then the three of you will go home. That is when part two of your test will begin. This afternoon, evening, and night... you will prepare for an attack. You won't know when exactly it will come, but it will come in the near future. He smiled a bit, exposing his shark-toothed grin to the Genin. "Part Three will also begin after you get home. I am in posession of something that I know each of you will enjoy having for yourselves. Your objective it to get it from me. I won't have it on my person, so a direct theft attempt won't work. This will likely seem like the most difficult of the tests... but I assure you it is the most simple."

A few more minutes passed, and the meals arrived at the table. "Oh, and you all forgot to tell me about yourselves. Please do so now." Said the Hozuki as he crushed the main body carapace of the crab with his powerful grip

Naruto: Birth of a Better Generation

Marrow said
yeah, but Shisen

Is Antisocial

Marrow said
and Mirth character drops shit on everyone...

Isn't picking on you.

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Also, Marrow. Be so kind as to have some sort of reaction to Kirugetsu's Killing Intent technique next time.

He sent a weak wave of it at you as he told you about his killing of the Hyuga.

Naruto: Birth of a Better Generation

I have a reason for doing that, Marrow. If you couldn't tell.

And really, that's the only shit bucket I ever dropped on him.

But if Mirth REALLY doesn't feel like posting, then I guess I can post again.