Sarpedon

Much Frankness and Sarcasm Lie Within

Just what it says on the tin. No one who pm's me with an idea will be denied unless I just can't roll with whatever you've got. I like to think I'm a fairly open individual, though, so I might be convinced to give it a shot. If you're not okay with swearing get out now. I'm a full-time soldier and I don't have time to try and mangle out big words. Big like truck, smart like shovel. But I write like a son of a bitch, apparently. Some people like it at least. no bullshit, lots of sarcasm, I like fantasy and sci-fi and I like to tell people I'll try anything once. twice if you get me sloshed enough. minimum one solid paragraph a day please and thank you. If I missed something tell me, if you don't follow the instructions I will probably ridicule you. Nothing's personal, everything is permitted.

Tales of Eyreseum - The False King

considering I jerk off 3+ times a day, I guess pumped is a good word for it XD

The great pirate era. (Sanquin/Sarpedon)

It didn't take a whole lot of time to track down the men rumoured to buy anything. The two of them were set up across from each other at one of the entrances to the market square, each of them hawking various wares at seemingly random prices. As people wandered in and out, they would pause and most would walk away with something or other. But when the merchants saw the things that the Shotgun Preacher was escorting toward them, they stopped all that nonsense. Such goods were always to be had in quantity, and could sold for ridiculous profits. Of course, that meant a bout of vicious haggling, and the captain was not about to put up with such nonsense. Both peddlers approached eagerly and started making offers. As was to be expected, however, neither of them was going to offer half of what the stuff was worth. Octavius put an end to that immediately, though.

"The first one of you to double your offer can have the deal." he declared. One of them tried haggling again, and the pirate lord began to wave his hand in a circle, waiting for them to actually get the point. The other merchant spit out a number closer to two thirds what the stuff was worth, and the warlord clapped him on the back, "Congratulations! You win! Have your men stop by the Duchess Gambit and I'll get you sorted. I want to see coin when you get there. He then motioned for his lackeys to set down their burdens by the victor's cart, waiting for the peddler to pay up. He took the money offered, counted it, and then spun on his heel, quite satisfied. "We're doing well so far, boys. Keep up the good work." he congratulated his companions, "What do you say we go get roaring drunk?" he asked after another moment, the group picked up the pace and made record time to the ship, only to find the drinking already in progress. Having forgot all about the threats he had made earlier about painting the ship, and glad of the initiative, the captain simply butted in line to the keg and helped himself. He was probably going to need all the alcohol he could get his hands on if they were going to be taking on the Powder Keg...

The great pirate era. (Sanquin/Sarpedon)

In all his thoughts, the captain didn't realize he was muttering to himself. Even as he made his way back up the length of his ship, one of the new guys heard him, and offered a suggestion. "There's a couple of peddlers that'll buy just about anything. If you really need cash, you should hit them up." he suggested helpfully, much to his own misfortune.

"You're fucking smart. You're coming with me. Grab three more men and meet me in the hold." Octavius ordered, heading toward the cargo deck. He figured they could lug some samples over, sell off their cargo, and load up for bear to ensure that the taking of the Powder Keg went smoothly. So while his volunteers got themselves together, the man in charge picked out the samples they would be taking. Once his menial labour showed up they were given the proper instructions, and followed their leader off the ship. Of course, something had to go wrong. The man with the paint had screwed up the naming of the ship. That was easily solved though. Being a surgeon with a scattergun, the warlord produced his weapon with a swiftness that could amaze the uneducated, and proceeded to fire one round into the mechanism that was holding the pirate's boatswain's chair to the ship. The man screamed briefly before disappearing into the drink. Several more followed to fish him out, and Captain Cuttlam started shouting.

"If that ship isn't named properly when I get back, I'll hang the lot of you, so help me God!" he was red in the face, and looked the very picture of vengeance. Everyone believed him, and someone who actually knew what was going on set to directing the repainting of the ship once more. "We'll be with you in a moment." he called out to Ceres when he noticed her, suddenly calm and composed. The Shotgun Preacher then set off for the markets, with his helpers in tow, seeking to make himself some coin, and get the chase underway...

The great pirate era. (Sanquin/Sarpedon)

thanks b'y, I'll get a reply up before bed I think

Tales of Eyreseum - The False King

I'm gone for a month and you guys post twice?

The great pirate era. (Sanquin/Sarpedon)

I'm back muthafucka!

The great pirate era. (Sanquin/Sarpedon)

Octavius strode proudly back onto his ship. He'd made some rounds, picked the best of the best for his crew, and now they had a decent enough bunch of cutthroats and killers to get them to the Powder Keg. With that settled, they needed a name for their ship. He paced the length of the vessel twice before accosting the nearest sailor and ordering them to grab a bucket of paint and a brush, and to find the best ship-painter available on short notice. That didn't take long, mostly due to the fact that everyone was about equally qualified at this point, so he ordered the man who'd volunteered to paint over the current name of the ship, and get ready to re-christen it with something a little more appropriate. It was just a matter of wasting some time until the painter was ready, at which point the captain grinned. "This ship, henceforth, shall be called the Duchess Gambit." he declared, and the nearby pirates gave him a look.

"Like the albatross?" they wanted to know.

"Exactly like the albatross." he replied. These being new pirates, they had missed the fiasco with the waterspout, so of course they would have to be educated.

"How do you figger? Seem's strange." was the response he got, and one he had expected.

"There's a woman on this crew. She's the first mate, and she's an albatross, I'm sure of it." the crew were understandably upset by the idea of a woman being in charge, but upon hearing that she was an albatross, they got more curious than shocked and angry and scared

"How did you find out?" of course they wanted the whole story. The pirate lord decided they could have the abridged version.

"She steered us straight at a waterspout, and the thing fucked right off, like it were scared of getting hurt by her." he explained, looking very serious. The series emotions that washed across the faces of those in earshot was comical, and Captain Cuttlam wandered off right at that moment. "Get the ship painted." he ordered, wondering what to do about their cargo. He figured that they would need to cash it in at some point, but where? Not here, obviously. But they would definitely need money soon, and they would need to find a market for their valuables before then. Nothing he could do about it just yet, though, and Octavius did his best not to stress about it. He figured they could make do without at least for the time being. He figured it would probably be best to save it all, anyway, since they would need all the resources at their disposal just to catch the Simurgh. With that in mind, he decided to do nothing for the moment, and instead invest himself in preparing to run down the Powder Keg. That was going to be entertaining, of that he was very certain...

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