Avatar of Shisa
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    1. Shisa 12 yrs ago

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@KoL Alice's skills are tailored for everything, though. She is quite simply the creme de la creme. Send her on any mission. Solo, even. She'll take care of everything. It's not at all fair, I know, but one can't help one's own excellence, as in Alice's case.

@Ashifili You underestimate the great and magnificent Alice's humility. She's the best at being humble. Her diplomacy, like everything else she does, is perfect.
@KoL
Might want to make funereal arrangements, because there's way more Alice where that came from.

@Ashifili
I can say, at the very least, that Alice's own snacks have not caused her to gain weight. Then again, she just kind of doesn't gain weight much. It might be different for others.

And the treats are the source of the power-ups. They have to be inside of you to work, so making yourself throw up won't do much other than free up room for different buffs if you were full before, while cancelling out what you had previously.

Throwing up also has the side effect of grossing Alice out and making her sad that you deliberately hurled up the food she made.
Alice was late (fashionably). She was late, for a supposedly important date. Of course, the Chasers couldn't get a thing done without her. How they'd survived as long as they had without her in the fold she had no idea, but they were lucky. Mami had gotten held up at the hot springs, shepherding about the ignorati with a sweet smile and a pleasant greeting, but once she had finished up (and politely asked permission to go out with friends, to which her parents responded positively and in tears for some reason), she was gone. Alice didn't care. Alice did what she wanted, because she was strong and imposing and way bigger than sweet little Mami could have ever even imagined!

The door to the Dangeki Cafe burst open, and a chill wind heralded the entrance of Alice, who was revealed in her full glory. All four feet and six inches of it. Her presence, however, filled the entire room with its hugeness as the young girl smirked at the few remaining patrons, hands on hips.

"Kukuku~ it is I, the Great Alice, come to grace your... rustic little hovel with my majestic presence!" announced the girl in that super formal tone of Japanese that makes you say 'desu wa' at the end of every sentence.

Today, she was wearing a black gothloli one-piece dress with thin red ribbons, white lace, and plenty of pleats and frills. Her hands were covered with black silk gloves, and her legs were engulfed in a pair of long black leather boots, laced tightly up the front. Her perfect blonde hair fell magnificently onto her incredibly well-tailored dress, and her beautiful blue eyes pierced like knives into all who would look upon her awesome personage.

"You need not prostrate yourselves in front of me, but you certainly may if you feel the overwhelming need to do so. Now, why was the Great Alice called to this dinky donut shop? You peons require my help, no doubt, so I demand elaboration!"
Serpica continued sniffling, wiping the cold tears from her eyes once again. They had returned the bracelet, but bad things were still happening. Serpica didn't want to stay in town long, because she really didn't want to die. She looked up at Al, visibly worried.

"W-what do we do now, Al? It seems really dangerous here. E-even adventurers can run away if things are really scary, right?"

From the back of the wagon, Serpica didn't see the magical fighting. She didn't see the licking flames abjured by a magical force of freezing gales. She didn't see the rolling green mists, about to overtake their cart. She didn't see the monk thrown clear of the horse-sized dragon, but if she did, it's likely she would have been even more frightened and even more urine-covered.

As things stood, however, she was only frightened half to death and her bladder was only mostly vacated.
Serpica peered at Al from the back of the wagon, still sniffling and whining. She rocked back and forth as she shivered in the cold and the fear, and managed to choke out a response.

"I don't wanna hurt her," she choked through the tears, trying to get about a gallon of snot back into her head, "b-but she's gonna kill us if we don't fight back, right?"

She wiped her eyes with her thin, filthy arm, leaving a muddy streak across her face.

"You're more experienced with these things, so I'll leave the decision to you," Serpica muttered, looking to the floor of the wagon as if it might have the answers she was looking for, "this is the sort of thing adventurers do, right? I can do it. I'll do it. I'll still go with you. Anything is better than living like this."

Then she heard more loud roaring and a sad song, as if someone was mocking her feelings. She covered her ears, because she didn't need any more stuff in her head right now. Not roaring, and certainly not a stupid sad song.

"STOP YOUR STUPID SINGING," she shouted, still sniffling, "THIS SONG IS DUMB! YOU'RE DUMB!"
"Y-yeah we have to spend this right now," cried Serpica in reply. If this was so much money that even an adult like Al was excited, they really must have hit the jackpot.

"Let's buy the whole town! Then we can take whatever we want and never have to worry about anything ever again! And if someone is mean, we can kick them out and-"

But she was interrupted once again by the other orphan. This time, however, it wasn't because she was leaving after calling her bad things. Instead, she was coming towards Serpica and crying. She had wanted to scold the girl, of course, for being mean to her, but Serpica had never wanted to make the girl cry. Apparently the pretty bracelet was important and belonged to the other orphan, and that girly man threw it on the ground and abandoned her. Serpica's eyes widened and her lower lip quivered with empathy for the girl's plight.

Of course, Serpica would give it back. She was the bigger person, and she bet it would teach the girl that it really did hurt when one's precious things were taken from them. Then the girl would apologize for taking Serpica's garbage, and maybe they could be friends. Serpica reached for the bracelet, her heart swelling with benevolent love and caring for the other orphan, regardless of how mean she had been, when the other child screamed.

Which turned into a bellow, and then into a roar as the other orphan transformed in front of her. The girl become huge and winged and scaly and really scary. Serpica's eyes widened further, and everything became very quiet. She knew that people were screaming and yelling, but she couldn't hear it at all. Something warm was running down her tail. She wondered if the creature had slashed her with its horrible claws, but she dared not look down.

A small puddle expanded below Serpica, and steam rose up from the frosty cobblestone. Anyone present could tell that the girl had soiled herself in fear.

Then, all of a sudden, the sounds came back. They were louder than anything Serpica had ever heard. The girl still couldn't think or process anything other than the sound of her own crying.

Oh. She was crying.

"Uu... uu... uu... UWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Serpica bawled and choked and tried desperately to keep the snot in her nose. It was all she could do. It was all she knew how to do. The horrible creature flew away, but Serpica didn't know for how long. She almost instinctively slithered over to Al and grabbed onto his leg, getting her tears and saliva and snot all over his pants.
"Nuh uh," blurted Serpica, "I'm the smartest-"

But the other orphan was already walking away, after having made fun of her trash and called her stupid. Serpica frowned, and muttered, "maybe it's just garbage to you."

But at least Al knew how to handle things. He was pretty much the best negotiator Serpica had ever seen. She would never have thought about demanding to go to the toy store, but it would be nice to have a non-broken toy. Even a really cheap one, as long as it didn't smell like pee or mold or both.

"Well," Serpica replied to Al, looking in Pyria's direction, "what I want most is just an apology. That girl has been awfully mean, and I think it would make everyone feel better. Maybe we could even get along, if she doesn't call me bad names."

But that would have to wait. The girly man tossed a cloth pouch to the ground along with a really pretty bracelet, and the pouch made a jingly noise that made Serpica's eyes go wide. Like a starving hound without an ounce of pride, Serpica jumped off of Al and onto the freezing cobblestone. She immediately grabbed up the coin and the bracelet, her heart pounding wildly, and showed them to Al.

"M-money, Al! W-w-we have money! What should we do with all of this?!" she sputtered excitedly, putting her new bracelet on, "food? Warm beds? Toys? Swords? All of those things? Al, we could buy the whole town with this much probably!"
Serpica's eyes narrowed. An awful lot was going on around her, and she didn't understand half of it. She didn't understand that the supposed... man, called Luca, was threatening her with ice magic, because she didn't know anything about magic. She didn't understand that the other beggar, apparently called Pyria, was threatening her with a fiery, dragony death, because she didn't know a thing about dragons. She'd only ever been threatened with blades before, so she had no idea what these two were capable of. Thus, she continued just as she had planned from the beginning.

"That's a neat trick you can do with your eyes and your voice," stated a confused Serpica, taking an arm from Al's shoulder and putting it on her hip, "but I'll have you know I can chew an awful lot! I've never bitten off more than I can chew, because I can do this!"

Serpica unhinged her jaw and opened her mouth up remarkably wide, before closing it and putting it back like normal again.

"Cool, huh? I bet you can't do that," she stated smugly, "and in case you had any doubts, I could eat infinity meat pies if I wanted. That's probably more than even you can chew, so ha!"

Serpica had no idea whether she could actually eat infinity meat pies or not, but she knew she could eat a lot of them, so it was probably close. Having so thoroughly taken apart one opponent, she turned to the other two. They had no idea what was happening here, so how could they understand? Serpica would have to explain to them how mean Pyria was.

"A-although your offer is tempting," she said, drooling slightly, thinking about a hot meal and a warm bed for the first time in her life, "this is about more than that! This is about survival. I've been scavenging garbage on this side of town for ten years now, and your friend comes around here a couple of weeks ago and takes all the good stuff for herself! That's not fair! I want an apology, and I want this side of town back, and I want any good toys she's found! If our adventuring doesn't work out, we need a nice pile of trash to come back to or else we'll die. So I want all of those things, and after that, you can buy us hot food and a warm bed! That's the deal. It's only fair after what she's put me through."
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