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Journey to the East

"It's okay my love," she said in response to his crying. Nothing in her words in asking him to stop crying said that he needed to stop that instance. It was like a mother's soothing nudge for him to become strong again, not a dominating force to get him to cut out what he was doing.

She helped him wipe tears that slipped past his face and ultimately let him finish his wiping. He blinked a series of times to stop the emotional response and only now his eyes were red. His hands relaxed about her and she could feel him more lightly play at her dress.

Elann had made him look to her, but now she came in close again to hold him and plant light kisses upon his neck, to nudge at his jaw with her nose and just display a general affection for him. She would then settle there in the crook of his neck and just hold him lightly in a hug.

When he was ready and loosened his grip on her, she would pull apart a little and look down to him.

"Do you want me to get you breakfast before I pack up? I don't want you going all day without food."

Elann knew the feelings he was going through. She had been given nightmares of similar darkness to that and she was the perpetrator in said dreams. It was an evil that scarred the heart, and she herself could not eat all day as she sat in her funk, but that didn't mean Noah was like her. He was likely hungry, and would only increasingly get hungrier.

Journey to the East

At first it seemed Noah had been comforted, but as she nipped at his lips, his face pained. Confusion took her as well as a pain in the heart at her inability to rouse him from his pained thoughts. She wondered if she had screwed up again by trying to be painful and felt perhaps she should dial things back a notch. It was then he pitifully showed her why his face had contorted in the opposite reaction. It also explained his guilt.

His case was not completely unfamiliar to her, as she herself had been in dreams where she could not control herself, but the fact Caesarion was involved meant a bit more. It had bugged her before they bonded how he could passionately love the man who had left him and yet could not passionately love her in the same regard, but she knew Noah loved her, and to her, that was enough.

"I understand..." she said soothingly and pet his hair. "Now that you are awake, would you leave me? Would you let me leave? Would you betray our marriage with that man? I don't think so," she said in answer to her own questions. "Betrayal is a willing act of the heart and mind and Yahal forbids it. You may have physically wanted to do what you did in your dream, but your mind was shut closed. You reason and you think when you are awake. When you are asleep you can't stop yourself sometimes. It happens to everyone my moon. You didn't betray me."

She knew that it didn't matter what words she said, he would feel as though he betrayed her because when in dreams, it could feel like you had the option of choice, but now that he was awake, he wouldn't dare do what he had done in his dream.

"Don't cry. It's okay. You need to calm down, you are going to hurt yourself."

She saw his tears as the expression of his deep emotion, an emotion he had scolded her about before. Somewhere inside her, she hoped he realized that when she cried, it wasn't out of trying to get out of something, but because of her deep emotion. Either way, she would comfort him.

Journey to the East

Elann had a hard time with his rejection of the medicine, but listened to him. He was communicating that he didn't want to be dulled anymore, or at least right then in that moment. She nodded to him and told him okay, that it was alright, all the more comforting him with her soothing words.

When he closed his eyes and wrapped tightly about her body, she nuzzled the top side of his head, listening as he spoke. It was hard to hear him at first, but she adjusted in hearing his downward speaking tone. He seemed much more bothered by it than originally thought. Somehow all of this had translated to guilt, and she assumed he found fault in something he had done or perhaps he was feeling guilt toward something else. She didn't know, but she carefully pressed him in the hug, careful of all of his stitches.

"I'm not leaving. That was just a bad dream. It didn't mean anything."

She pet his hair and enjoyed the embrace with him, but not so greatly it would overwhelm him. She was very pleased though with their closeness, even if it was a bad situation. Angling her back, she leaned away from him without pulling from his embrace. There she pressed her hand to his forehead, indicating for him to look up and into her eyes. Once he looked at her deeply enough, she began to send love through their bond in a form of nonverbal communication. It was seen in her eyes, in their bond, and in how she held him.

"See? Here I am."

A small smile spread over her face and she lowered her face to nip at his lips in a half playful way. It was a gentle loving nudge from her to show him she still loved him in a way that she wanted to be there, but also in the playful way that said she still enjoyed him.

Journey to the East

Elann lay there upon her husband in a steady bliss as he accepted her. She had often been rejected in small ways from her loving caresses to the point she wasn't sure how he would react with them, but now he wanted her there and it put her at peace. Whatever heat was upon his body was absorbed by the chilled Benshiran on him, and whatever sweat, was wicked away by her dress. She could feel him calming, not through the bond as it was closed to her, but just by feeling his heartbeat and hearing his breath.

Hesitantly he answered her, which was surprising that he even bothered to tell her it and recount the events. She truly felt like his comforter and helper in that moment. With an open ear to him, she listened intently. She did not know the guilt of his passions still but just nodded to him and comforted him as he spoke. Already before he asked for water, she could tell that he was thirsty. His lips were dry and most of his mouth was caked by his hard breathing as he had slept. The dream didn't make sense to her, nor why it was scary to him except that the lightning struck them.

All she could do was wait for him to open up more and get him some water. Water she had, as often upon waking, she herself was thirsty and had a cup of water near the bed. That morning she had drank most of it, but also had prepared a glass of the tea for him, figuring he would wake in pain.

"I have water right here. Shhh...It's fine. I'm here." She grasped his hand that held her fast by her dress and placed it within her own hand. There she kissed the back of his hand on his knuckles and said, "Let me get it for you."

She then slid slowly from him, just upward so her hip was by his head and most of her weight on her knee that was off his body, and she managed to reach the half empty glass. Sliding back down his body to his hips, she stayed sitting up and reached down to the back of his head to help him sit up. Elann, even with her bow training only had a strong grip and decent pulling power, however the rest of her body, her core and her legs were floppy, and she was not able to pull him up at all by her own power. She doubted she could even roll him if he lay there like a dead man. With his help though, she would give him all the rest of the water and would hold him to keep sitting.

"I want you to have some of the tea. You are in a lot of pain okay? Just a little bit?"

With him finally sitting up and her sitting, straddled on his lap, she smiled warmly to him and brushed his hair with her hand before curling him in for a little hug. If he agreed to the tea, she would wait just a little in the embrace to give him comfort before getting it.

"That sounds horrible. We were struck by lightning?"

Journey to the East

Noah definitely had the grip of an eagle. Her dress's fabric was pulled nearly to the breaking point. If it hadn't been for the quality fabric and her trained stitching, he would have ripped into it with the strength of his grip.

When he apologized, she shook her head, showing she take offense.

"It's okay. I don't care about that. Just relax...everything is fine."

She then smiled at his endearment to her. Her hands together smoothed down his hair and cupped his head in a loving way as she looked to him.

"I love you too."

Elann then lowered her lips to his to give him a loving peck on his lips, but a soft one to not overwhelm him.

"Just lay with me a little and calm..."

Her voice was soft and nurturing, much as she would do for when the babies would cry. The sentiment was the same whether it was a baby, someone who just had a loved one die, or her husband waking from a night terror. She didn't know what affect the fear would have on him and so she used her divine power to ensure he was further soothed in the mind.

After a little while she would sit up to lean over him by putting her weight on her arms.

"Did you want to tell me about it?"

Journey to the East

Elann had never understood since she found out that he felt nothing in the way of attraction or passion for her. To her, love had the makings of loving every aspect of the person you were in love with as much as possible. She had just since assumed it was something to do with his nature as a Kelvic, but upon seeing and hearing Aimee's relations she didn't understand. Elann wasn't going to poke the bear that was biting her in the moment, and that was that she had failed to understand her husband and he in turn had become very hard against her. It was her fault, and that said, she was doing what she could to change, to see if it would change something in him- to heal their relationship. It didn't mean she didn't hurt inside from time to time because of it though.

He tugged at her in desparation and immediately it was evident that her soothing there wasn't good enough. He wanted more and even "tugged" on their bond in the only way he knew how. She quickly came to him, becoming so close she could not physically come any closer to him and shushed him again. She nearly lay completely on him and it was good there were cushions and her frame was so light or else she would have compounded his pain.

His question came, desperate and filled with guilt and perhaps fear. She couldn't tell it was all so sudden and only in the times he opened his bond to her could she feel how he felt. Noah had asked her to feel less intensely, shown her through his actions that she irritated him to a point when mollycoddling him or not understanding him, and seemed to prefer the intimacy of others over her. All of that she could deal with having seen her own father abandon her mother- or near to it- and she didn't consider herself in a cage even still and deeply she loved him, but his random inquiry confused her.

"Upset? No. Shhh, I'm not upset with you. Did you have a night terror?"

She pet his hair and came up above him to look down at him with comfort in her bond and love in her eyes. Still, she had not compounded the emotion to the heights she normally would have, but he could feel her willingness to comfort him and still adhere to the lesson he brought to her last night.

Journey to the East

Elann had woke up before the sun had risen. The sounds of birds were her alarm call as well as the cook banging a pan clean. She always slept light and often could fall asleep in a moment's notice, but she woke feeling rested enough that she didn't particularly feel like she had gotten less sleep. Despite the banging, the shifting in bed, and her pulling the blanket aside, Noah hadn't even stirred. Both of them were very exhausted last night; her from a long day, and him from having his very being put into his storm gem. On top of that, he already had been weak. Noah had taken no medicine that night and yet he had remained tired enough to sleep through all her movement.

As she looked back at him, compassion filled her heart and she covered him with the blanket, letting the man sleep. He needed his rest anyways, and his exercise done previously would do him good. Even Emery seemed to agree, but it left him in such pain. After rising and sliding her ivory lace dress over her head, she went about getting ready for the day.

She helped the cook make breakfast for those few who were up early and showed him some things on how her people made breakfast (even though he didn't bother to make it) and spoke with him until the sun began to come up. It had been lingering in the sky for a while before Elann felt the buzz come from her bond. She had come back into the tent and was sat on the bed, weaving a rug.

Noah's sudden alertness and pain caused her to stop what she was doing and press a hand to her forehead to relieve the intense feelings he was going through. Eventually she equalized, something Noah had not shown he knew how to do well with her own intense emotions, and she set down her work to comfort him.

"Are you okay? I'm here, shh," she voiced in a calming voice as she crawled over to where he had laid back down. It was clear he was in pain and she lovingly first placed a hand on his forehead to feel him and then coursed her hand through his hair.

She didn't want to overwhelm him with worry, but it was slightly there within her. Concern for him was not abnormal to feel in her since he had been injured, and she tried hard not to expound on that feeling now as he winced. Having seen Alena and Aimee calm him this way, she sat next to him and caressed him.

Journey to the East

It was a grand sacrifice, what he asked her to do. Often times she would just meditate in prayer to compound all her thoughts on one subject into a grand emotion to better understand it. Now she was fighting hard to think contrary for his sake and it felt like she was missing out on something grand.

He pulled back from her after a brief kiss and she didn't understand what it meant. It was as though he was telling her good job? Her hand was returned to her and the ache then came back to her. Because it was gradual, she was able to take it without showing much of a sign of pain. It showed a little bit on his face what he was thinking about, as just having spent time with him, she knew he was relieved.

Elann took in a deep breath as he looked at their hands, curbing the emotional response of love in her heart that would have normally soared to great heights. Instead, there was a little warmth in her heart at it, but she didn't speak. Instead she closed her eyes and pressed his hands to her heart before leaving them closed. She angled her head toward him and his lips, presenting him with the opportunity to kiss her if he wished, but if not, and he slipped from her, she would roll toward him and go to sleep.

It would take a special nudge from him now to get her to speak, and before long, he may come to realize how much he missed the bubbly, joyous Elann. Sure she was happy, sure she had love, but if she couldn't overflow in them, a key aspect of who she was would be dead for a time.

Journey to the East

It seemed her husband just wanted her to explore his body without heightened emotions. She had no problem doing that if it was what he wanted of her. She supposed it was a message of teaching her how to react to him in compromise, in oneness. She wasn't to dull her emotions as one would do with hatred or a cold neglect, but instead it seemed like he just wanted her to not batter him with explosive emotions. He was content when she was, but he suffered when she felt.

Elann was the type to feel his touch, think about how it made her feel, ask herself why she felt that way, then remembered the previous times he had touched her that way and what they meant. It all could lead to a very overwhelming sensation, particularly when it came to loving him. He had that torturous gleam in his eye as he ran his hand over her and touched her in places that would have sent her going crazy, especially due to her longing and missing his touch. It was in a way a very cruel torment to her, but she loved him and knew it was what she had to do to come to a compromise and be one with him. Her emotions had battered him down and never let him draw close to her like Alena or the other people in his life. It felt almost wrong to lessen the depths of her emotions for him, but it was what she had to do to give him some peace.

She took in a breath, enjoyed his touch, but didn't overly compound the pleasure. Tingles and enjoyment still went through her body and it was pleasurable still, but it was hard. He touched her Cheva mark and her eyes closed as her instinct was to think of her wedding day and countless other things, but instead she didn't, reopened her eyes, and stared into his, awaiting what he had next for her.

Journey to the East

Elann compounded her desire with his desires. That meant that they had to work together. If at any point he would stop, even if in the beginning, she too would have stopped. It was not her desire to overwhelm him to make him suffer. It was her desire to go to the point he felt comfortable with her, a state of oneness, and yet full of as much desire as he could handle. It seemed they perhaps reached and surpassed that state as he followed her by example.

He pulled away from her and asked her to be calm. Even though her physical actions were calm still, in the bond they were buzzing. The passion she so longed to feel coming from his side of the bond then was stiffled as he pulled away. She supposed it was fair. Elann had asked him in his physical power over her to be calm and slow once and now he was asking that through their bond and actions she remain calm.

Her longing desire to feel his passion had been met, and she wasn't going to screw it up by demanding it back. She instead listened to him and welcomed him with open arms as he came back to her. She was just going to enjoy the physicality of all he wanted to show her. The most prevalent there was his intense love for her, not only through his actions, but through his bond. For his sake she kept her passions, desires, and emotions slow and calm, hoping he appreciated it and instead was a feeling of pleasure and oneness out of what he showed her.

Parting from her lips, she pressed her own gently together as he spoke and silently nodded, letting her actions speak louder than words. She naturally would feel his whisper enticing her in passions and into love making, but for now she just let him lead her where he wanted her. It wasn't to say she was a plank of wood emotionally or physically. Her lips and hands showed a great desire and love for him, just calmly, and her emotions held great passions, desires, and pleasures in their actions, but just much more softly.