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Journey to the East

Elann's playful tone elicited a response that spoke more than he realized. It reminded her of the feelings they had on their wedding night when making love. She could intimately tell when things were just right for him, and if she could do that then, why stop there?

She herself closed her eyes and tried to feel him, not through their bond - as he had closed it to her - but in the sounds of his body. Elann may not have had training as an animal, but she understood intimacy with him. She had hyper focused on it, and truly tried to learn his "I like" sounds and the way he moved his body. With her eyes closed and deep intent to further bring him comfort and pleasure, she felt him out. It wasn't long before in her scratching and gentle rubbings that she found areas more associated with feeling good than others.

A low grumble came out at one point and she hummed as if interested. It was then she learned that even her own hum had added to his enjoyment. As he placed his hands on her waist, it wasn't long before she had his bond unintentionally opening up. His mind had become like jelly, and it was then that she began to speak lowly, quiet, not quite a whisper that had the shrill twang at the end with breath, but just as soft.

"You enjoy this...Just relax...There is nothing else, just you and me here."

Instead of leaning back slightly, she came closer so he could feel her closeness, her chest against his, her face breathing close to his own, and her natural scent, full of the fragrance of the earth she had spent the night in to fill his lungs. It was as much comfort as she could give him.

"Just you and me. Together as one, bondmates. Feel me through our bond..."

She would think then on how she felt sitting on her comfortable rug next to the hearth with him. In her memory, the children weren't there, just him and her. He looked at her with his beautiful eyes and presented her with the gift of her golden earrings. She recalled how she felt wearing them and how beautiful she felt in them. That was what she thought of to send comfort to him through their bond; a highly comfortable memory.

Journey to the East

Elann hummed affectionately as he actually apologized and leaned into her leg. While she didn't feel much emotion before, now a soft, velvet blanket of warm love would seethe through the bond. Her scratchings would turn more soothing and forgiving, but a shrill jump in delight would come from her as he actually began to laugh. He didn't realize - or perhaps he did - but it had been a long time since she heard him laugh. A day was long enough for her, but however long it had been was far greater.

She listened intently as he expressed what had happened with Liam and she gave a small chuckle herself, though inside she was far happier than outside. A bright smile took her as she voiced her pleasure in the topic.

"I imagine that could happen quite a lot with some of the things the girls would say at my work. I think it was pretty common for us to laugh and joke around. He probably thought you had laughing sickness or something at first hmm?"

She knew someone outside of her tribe who lived in a tent who had that disease. It was a horrible thing to see, but they made sure he was fed better than most, instead of letting him die out there.

As he came under her dress to grab her thigh, it was a little bit of a shock at first, but his compliment sent warm tinglies all through her.

"Of course we can. I am not going anywhere," she said as she pulled from his hand to turn and face him more readily and then lowered herself onto his lap carefully. "I love it when you make me smile."

He didn't may not have known it, but his reconciliation to her was very human-like, and it was why she was responding as she did. Elann tried to respond to the true self of her husband, but couldn't communicate well. She had been so focused on changing him, that she came to a point where she couldn't listen to him telling her to stop. Now though, she was listening as long as he was explaining, and here he had explained in human fashion, and she understood.

Both of her hands came up to his hair to resume the petting, except this time, she wanted to have some play with him.

"What was that I heard when I was scratching your back last night hmm?"

She nipped a playful kiss at his cheek near the corner of his mouth and scratched down the sides of his head down near his ears. There she softly scratched around them, even coursing her hands to very lightly play with his ears. There was no seductive feelings or desire to make love with in her, as he hadn't seemed to desire her, but there was plenty of love, interest, and comfort, all which were missing in part from when he had woken up from his nightmare.

Journey to the East

Her husband showed what she interpreted as affection and she coursed her hand through his hair. She wasn't sure if that was what it was or if it was something else entirely, but she would only know if and when he seemed to respond to the behavior of her petting his hair softly. He seemed informative instead of judgemental, and it seemingly put the growing tension within her to ease. If he handled more of their conversations in a learning way as he did now, she felt she could better understand.

It seemed she came close to the mark, but upon hearing him, she nodded, showing him that she heard him. She figured it was something akin to that, but wasn't sure how and when she should do it. After his brief explanation though it made more sense to her. At times of request, he would ask her to calm herself, much as she had to him.

He paused, explaining afterwards in careful manner that she was too hot to handle. She was slightly worried that he was going to say that he didn't like it, but he actually did the opposite, dispelling the worry within her and causing a bit of happiness to come flooding in.

As he pressed up further into her scratching hand, she moved downward toward the back of his head and scratched there lightly as she listened.

"Yeah...I understand," she answered in brief.

He then explained further and she chewed her lip in nervousness.

"Well, I hoped not, but I was actually kind of confused. When I look at my mother and she looks at me, I know what she is thinking. In the same way, you were trying to do that with me I think and I just got the feeling you were saying that my bond was too overwhelming for you, to slow and calm down- which you were, but I wasn't sure how long you wanted me to be calm, to sort of let you handle it my laouru nature. So I was just doing what I could to not overwhelm you."

Just because she had permission to do it, didn't mean she did overwhelm him just then. There was no particular rise in her emotion at that moment, so she was in a way, idle.

Journey to the East

"Hmm, well, I just felt love for you when I saw your scar. It reminded me of how I took care of you then."

She just assumed he wanted further clarification and so in her old fashion she just answered him, hoping it didn't backfire on her.

"I could tell last night you were showing me how to calm my feelings and just enjoy the moment, or at least I think, so I just wanted to show you a period of time where I did that for you. I just figured I'd remain calm for a while."

She awaited him, standing close by within arm's reach of his head. She could tell he was in thought, but that was normal for him. She wondered if the patient husband willing to teach would emerge, if she would be congratulated for learning the lesson right, or if the annoyed and frustrated man would come forth. She hoped the former two rather than the latter.

Journey to the East

Elann knew her husband couldn't wait for the day to be independent and free, and it was her focus to repair what she could now while she could. He would have no hesitation any longer in leaving her if they fought, if only temporarily. His scruples against the action had likely all but faded as they continued to fight and she had no intention of seeing him fly off again because of her.

Elann brushed back her hair as he sat up, and upon him asking her if she suppressed the feeling, she nodded silently with a simple affirming hum. She particularly didn't want to explain why or what she was doing. If he didn't know already, then perhaps she had misunderstood him? Perhaps he didn't want her to suppress her emotions for his sake. She was so confused.

It wasn't that he couldn't feel her love for him anymore or that she was closing the bond on him, she was just for his sake not compounding her love for him and overwhelming him and thus it tapered out into a more calm soothing feeling than a rush of warmth as it once was.

She spread out her palms on the fur to feel it for a moment and then stood to grab his shirt for him. She held it out until he was ready for it, and then extended it so it was easier for him to grab. He could put on his own shirt she figured, but if he requested her aid, she would be more than happy to help.

If she could help it, she wasn't going to push nor broach the subject of her feeling, hoping it was a nonissue. Before, she would have likely asked him why he wanted to know, or maybe have explained what she felt and why she felt that way, but there had been times that in his own actions, he had made her feel insecure to speak of her emotions.

Journey to the East

Elann had hope for their relationship, not entirely sure where it would head, but she would do what it took. Her only hope was that she was not alone in this, and he would express to her in ways that were patient with her to show her how she could change. She would still be herself, but wanted to be more mindful about things when dealing with him since she had hurt him so badly. She really cared for him and felt bad she had done what she had. Her only peace in it was that it wasn't intentional, but now he could tell she was trying at least.

Elann nodded as he rejected the meat and set it down on the plate to remain there. She was surprised that he could not finish the remainder of her meal as he usually did, and attributed it to the slowness of his eating and his thoughts elsewhere.

She seemed to brighten a little as he okay'ed their walk as well as indicating he felt a little better. Elann was trying to take him at his word, and that meant he was feeling only a little better. When she and most others would use the phrase, it could mean a "significant deal better", but she was trying to see from his antiemotional eyes that what he said, was.

"Well I'm glad that you didn't have any tea and made it through the night without unbearable pain. You even had a night terror and it didn't make your pain far worse. I think that's a good sign you are getting closer to being able to get out your stitches. Only a few more days I imagine."

She could notice the difference from when he walked to when he didn't. It seemed almost like he was more full of life. Elann watched as he eased out of the blanket, her scooting up to her knees so she was out of his way, and she nodded. The reminiscent thought brought a smile to her face, but she then corrected her thinking in knowing he was just interested in going with her, not necessarily drudging up the past to remember better days between them. With an interested look on her features she answered.

"Of course. I want to see everything you have to show me in Zeltiva. I imagine there is a lot you used to do."

She wanted to ask more about his father and family, but had settled into a funk on the fact they would not likely enjoy her. Already she had had troubles understanding even Isabella and Aimee, who were the more sensible of the group. Elann had no idea what to expect with the father and likely would just keep her mouth shut around him. She had no idea about pack mentality or anything of the sort, but she was trying her best to learn. It was just that Noah didn't explain things to her, he showed her, and it wasn't how she learned.

Elann saw him raise his trousers and was actually somewhat taken aback by his offer to have her help him. All through his previous injury, he hated her helping him, wanted to do things himself. Even this time he had been like that, so she truly treasured the moment and came by his side as if soothed by his words.

"Of course. Lay down."

With her taking them from him, she would slide them onto both legs almost ritualistically. It was a reminder to her of the times when she had to pull his shorts up after a bath in his old apartment. She bunched them up at his calves until they were all above his feet, and then would perhaps more carefully than needed to, raise the pants up his legs, her eyes set heavily upon his scar there. As the memory came in, she burned in her heart with love for him, but it became milder, more tolerable as she thought about him and how she was flooding their bond. She would assist him, letting him do all he could to get them up and bind them and then if wanted or requested, would help him sit back up.

Journey to the East

Elann just loved Noah. She didn't have to gift him things. He could abuse her and not speak to her ever again and she would still choose to love him. The rift that formed between them, widening all the more, was not because of her. It had been in the past by her pushing, but now she had been doing everything she could to mend it, to listen to him, to do what he wanted, but instead, because of his unforgiving nature, he was left to wallow while she seemed almost cheery laying there.

She had forgiven him of whatever things in the past he had done to make her feel bad, to make her cry, and instead just took the day on as it was; her in bed with her husband, him eating food. Unseemingly it was her husband who was in the turmoil, one moment realizing his guilt for not sharing the fullness of his bond with her in his passion - a passion and desire that was stolen from her by Caesarion - and then the next, he was nearly blaming her for making him deal with emotions as a normal human. While she hadn't known his thoughts in that moment, it was what she had been experiencing all along. She had wanted him to open to her, but he hadn't, and it made her the bad one. She had to draw closer and push him to feel, but it would all have been so much less stressful for their relationship if he had opened to her the way she did to Caesarion. It was just one of the reasons she hated the man and would want to fight him if he showed up in their lives.

His announcement brought a cheerful smile to her lips and she looked over her shoulder to him away from her piece of meat.

"Less than an hour we need to start packing up."

She then went back to humming and nibbling away. Elann wanted so badly to just talk to him, to tell him the aftermath of the attack, how people felt, how she wished they were heading to Zeltiva with the intentions they once had, but it was not so easy. Elann was carefully tiptoeing so as not to offend him. She had tried to be herself multiple times, and each time he was either too angry with her, or just didn't seem to show any outward sign of agreeability. Elann was trying desperately hard not to irritate him in any way and was just trying to watch and learn from him. All her senses told her that he wanted to sit in thought, so she would wait until he was done thinking and wanted to perhaps speak to her. Then she would stop her humming and give him her full attention. In the meantime, she got halfway done with the meat chunk and felt quite full.

She offered it to him, holding it out with her slender right hand for him to either take with his hand or his mouth.

"I'm finished too," she said with an exhaustive sigh, showing she was actually really full. He too could feel in the bond she was somewhat more uncomfortable with the feeling of fullness. It had been a larger chunk, but now it was easy to be ate in a single gulp by the eagle.

"When you are ready, maybe we can walk around or something before you have to go into the wagon."

She wanted to see how he was feeling, so she also asked him, "Feeling a little better now?"

Journey to the East

Elann continued to lay there silently as Noah finished his food. The second plate was balanced in the ring of his crossed legs and she waited for him to say something. She just wanted to be a comfort to him. The immense thoughts and woes of their past were likely coursing through his brain and the food was hardly pecked at in comparison to his voracious appetite he usually had.

The food settled in her small stomach and warmed it, speaking of the many days she could last now since having it. The constant eating they did surely made Sylirans larger in comparison to some of her people - more able to gain muscle - but they would die in her land.

He seemed to settle on a thought as he finished his plate and held it up to offer to her. She wondered at the comment. He had thought far too long and deeply for that to be his chief concern. Where was the dealing with his guilt? Where was the feelings of concern and worry he had? What was this about food?

Elann shook her head, showing she didn't want it, but when he insisted more, she felt pressured. There was concern on his voice and she would tell he was being sweet, so she reached up and plucked a piece of meat off the plate and sucked the juices from it. There it rested in her hands as she rolled back to her belly and her feet came up, bent at the knees in a sort of lackadaisical kicking motion.

Before she ate the meat chunk, she would tell him, "Thank you, love. I'm really just not hungry. If I ate much more, I'd be bursting at the seams, really."

She wasn't lying to him when she handed him the plate, and if he focused through her bond he could feel she was beyond sated and almost full. Almost every time she ate, she gave him her food, but almost every time she ate, she took more on her plate just so she could give it to him.
"I grabbed the extra on my plate for you on purpose incase you were hungry. If you are done, I'll go feed it to the animals."

There were sows and dogs who would love to get the scraps from their plate. Considering the matter closed, she hummed as she bit into the meat. Her free hand flopped around a tassel that hung off the edge of one of the rugs. While Noah would have taken the entire chunk in one bite, he would notice Elann's bites were still like a child's, very tiny nibbles.

Journey to the East

Elann was glad to hear Aimee was okay, and nodded to the time table. It would give them enough time to eat, enjoy one another, and then pack up. No-one else had packed up their tent yet and it seemed people were just enjoying the day and recovering from their fears and loss. As Elann walked back, she felt sadness for those who had lost their family members, even a child having died in the night raid, but for Noah's sake she let the thoughts fade and instead focused on him and how she loved him; only making sure not to overwhelm him.

Upon entering the tent and sitting before her husband, she ate in a silence close to him. His legs were crossed under the blanket, and her legs were crossed over the blanket. She sat close enough that her knees rest between his, but not on him, just so she could be as close as possible. They both ate with their hands and she enjoyed her meal with him, but only ate some of the bread. Upon her finishing and giving him the rest of her food, she sprawled out before him on the soft fur and ran her hand up and down his thigh. Her soft piercing eyes settled on him in love and spoke to her devotion to him.

There was no telling how long he would stay in his funk, or what he would learn from his inward thoughts. Perhaps the thought of her leaving him would change some things. Perhaps the winds hurting him and the lightning striking where Caesarion - his lover of passion and desire- and Elann - his lover of everything else - meant something more to him than what it meant to Elann. She herself was confused as to the dream's meanings and it didn't particularly speak to her in her gift of insight or interpretation from the Gods. If such a feeling was experienced in her, she would have no control but to tell him the interpretation. As it was, perhaps if the dream meant something, whoever the dream God was who had relayed the message from his own Gods perhaps wanted him to figure things out himself. Perhaps it was the long road that would yield the best change and result in her husband.

As it was, she sat silently with him until he finished both plates, and seeing him do so, she would feel even more at peace. Elann had a strange bliss in seeing her husband eat; far more than anyone else could understand. In the desert, one didn't eat much, and the act of providing your husband with a good meal took on a greater meaning as it wasn't wasteful. He was her protector, her avenger, her lover, and to Elann, feeding him was a sign of not only her love for him, but self preservation. Up in the north where they were, food was far more abundant, and so the simple act of feeding someone was made less than what it was where she grew up. She had once explained all of that to him and the difference, but it didn't mean she still didn't derive enjoyment from watching him eat.

Journey to the East

It was far harder for Elann to keep her emotions in check when the two of them melded together as they did, and often she was finding herself slowing down her thoughts of love toward him to keep herself in check. Ultimately it seemed like he was comforted by her as he nudged back into her own neck. There was even a moment where she just sat there and drew in his scent, happy that she could be close to him instead of pushed far away.

Elann was a helper, and if not able to help in some way, she felt lonely when there was an issue. Now such feelings had no place there. She was content, comforted, and her husband was too. The Benshira nodded to his 'please' and drew up her hands to gently caress his cheeks and jaw. There she gave him a soft romantic kiss and then rose from him, careful not to bump his fragile body.

Elann quickly jogged out of the tent, seeking to get him food as quickly as possible so she could hurry back to be with him. Outside, she looked for Aimee and if she saw her, in brief she would ask her how she was that morning and if she slept well, but then would also speak to her about Noah's nightmare, not in any detail or worry, but to just let her know he had one and was being comforted. All of this was while she was grabbing the food for him, but once she had it in sufficient amount, she would part from Aimee and would ask how long they had before they packed up and headed on the road. Shortly after, she would be seen coming butt first into the tent and then spinning about to rid herself of the flap.

In her hands were two plates of food. It looked like someone had caught fish for breakfast and there was some dried bear jerky there for him as well as a large chunk of bread on each plate. He would not go hungry that day and it was her way of setting at least his stomach at ease.

Elann set down before him and looked to see emotionally how he was doing, concern coming through their bond in small amount indicating what she was wondering.