Super Grandpa

The Hobbit with the Dragon Tattoo

CANON CHARACTER - claimed by @Super Grandpa

Image (if available):

Name: Eric Lenscher / Magneto / Super Grandpa

Sex: Male

Age: 60+

Race: X-Man

Appearance description: Very tall, blue eyes, old, long hair and beard

Relationships: Friends with Born, friend of The Beraded Maniac Gang, lover of the Underground Fairy, arch-nemesis of Willy Wonka, likes Arthur (unconfirmed, possibly sexually), friends with Valkin Grandpa, husband of Lady "Electric Drill", son-in-law of Count Dooku, hated by pretty much everyone else.

Bio/Description: Best described by the quotes of other characters:

From the words of Arthur Dent: "... and now I'm stuck here because of the Super Mega Third Intergalactic War. And the War started because of him - this is Eric Lenscher, aka Magneto, or how he calls himself, "Super Grandpa". However really he is just a crazy madman. Once he had a magnetic super power - tied nails into knots and threw around cars. And once he threw too many, that he accidentally started the War. Eric simply wanted to free all the mutant X-men from slavery... and kill all the humans. But this his idea, all so humble and peaceful, somehow unnoticeably grew into the Battle of the Galaxies. Also, at the very start of the War, Eric was stripped of his superpower, and he became a regular old Super Farter. However this cunning-ass old man did not despair, and even traded up himself a prestigious pension, as a "veteran and disabled of the War". However when the War grew into the sizes of a Universal Shithole, Eric was caught and judged for a war crime. He was sentenced to hanging by the neck, until he dies. That is why Super Grandpa escaped to Pandora, and since then he goes crazy here. This fully crazed madman always gets his nose around, bothers everyone, bloody hell, I'm tired of him! He was countless times punished for that with beatings. But the beatings didn't help. Even though Super Grandpa lost his Super Power, but his Super Ass still had the Super Needle. On Pandora he goes mad from idleness and boredom, so he is always seeking a way to return to Earth. And so that on the Earth no one would recognize and hang him, he grew out a beard. And always so happy, bloody optimist, show him a finger - he'll die from laughter."

The unconfirmed sexual attraction to Arthur is hinted by the dialogue between Arthur and Giant (and a remark from Eric):

Giant: "You seem not to like me. You think I'm a bandit?"
Arthur: "You were saved from the death row prison. Usually you don't find nice people there."
Giant: "Did you sit in the death row prison with a bad person?"
Arthur: "Aha, yeah, I did, with Eric! And it was disgusting!"
Eric: "If not for me, we wouldn't get out of there!"
Arthur: "If not for you, we wouldn't even get IN there!"

To summarize, Eric always has crazy "Super Ideas" and "Super Plans" to get back to Earth, that causes damage (physical, mental, economical or all at once) to almost everyone around him. Usually Arthur, even if against Arthur's will, plays a key role in his plans.

The Hobbit with the Dragon Tattoo

This topic would be better suited in the Advanced Interest Checks subforum. :)

@BingTheWing

@BingTheWing Well, I plan it to become an advanced roleplay, so that is why I posted it here.

The Hobbit with the Dragon Tattoo

CANON CHARACTER - open

Image (if available):

Name: Bourne Oakeneater / Mr. Grinn (this name is only know by his old enemies, as he himself does not remember it)

Sex: Male

Age: unknown

Race: Human

Appearance description: Long dark hair, blue eyes, short height.

Relationships: In love with the Underground Fairy, friends with and leader of The Bearded Maniac Gang, friends with Eric Lenscher, arch-nemesis with Willy Wonka

Bio/Description: Due to Born loosing a great portion of his memory (almost 99% of it), it is better to understand his bio from quotes of other characters:

From the words of Shitstorm: "No one knows who he is and where he's from. We even called him Born simply because we almost don't know about his past, just some pieces. From the fragments, we found out that he had a hard childhood. He was a skinny nerd, loved eating sweet cotton candy, beaten up the school bullies until they started bleeding. He was shy. He always said to people "I'm a little man", and hit them lower of the belt. Also he worked as an assassin for hire for suicidal emos. Those have ordered themselves for him to kill for the measly pocket money given by their parents for ice-cream. And when he grew up - for no reason whatsoever he became a dangerous type. He is always lagging with those vision. Eh, I pity him... But, he is the only one who has the coordinates of the Holey Mountain."

From the words of Mountain Chairman: "Hoooly! Whom do I see?! Hello, Grinny! Do you remember me? I was the Chairman of the Holey Mountain. Oh yeah! Your memory is broken! But did you know that you are the reason we were chased out of the Mountain. And I, at the time, looked a little bit different. Aha, I see you finally remembered! Yes it's me, your beloved Chairman. And you betrayed me. You spoke up the leader of Umpa Loompas to attack our Mountain. Umpa Loompas chased us out of the Mountain, and in just 2 days, in the clear field we were irradiated by Gamma-Rays from the Satellite, and we all became ugly. Except for you, you only lost your memory from the Rays." ... "You are the one at fault, Mr. Grin. It's your real name, by the way. You came here from planet Earth and bought up my trust. And all that just to snitch away my Super Duper Mega Magic Stone. You even called it funny - Tesseract. But the Stone was closely guarded, so you spoke up the white-faced chief of the Umpa Loompas Willy Wonka to attack our Mountain, so that in the commotion you could capture the Stone. But everything went wrong, you were betrayed by your beastly temper. During the Umpa-Loompa attack, you suddenly went wild, attacked Willy Wonka, and chopped off his Upper Left Side Arm. Since then Willy Wonka hates you, and you were forced to run from the Mountain from his rage. Under the Gamma-Race we mutated, but you didn't. You only lost your memory. And you fled."

When someone says some "smart" word (even if it's in a middle of a sentence), he tends to
automatically repeat it, adding "of Born!". This is
especially seen with words ending with "-tion" Examples:

"Conspiration of Born!" (his way of saying "conspiracy")
"Operation of Born!"
"Confrontation of Born!"
"Civilization of Born!"
"Reservation of Born!"
"Levitation of Born!"
"Gravitation of Born!"
"Reparation of Born!"
"Adaptation of Born!"


Also, at absolutely random moments he tends to say "I'm not imbecile!" For example, from dialogue
between Eric and Born:

...
Eric: "But what kind of Mountain is it without a Dragon?
Born: "So you made him up, after all?"
Eric: "I modeled in my head the Mountain you described, and logically calculated that there is
a Dragon inside. But the gold I made up, yes, but not for myself, but to trick you,
greedy bastards, into the expedition."
Born: "Why do we need to be tricked?"
Eric" "Because I'm afraid to go by myself"
Born: "I AM NOT IMBECILE!!!"
Eric: Wha- I didn't say you're an imbecile..."
Born: "Yeah, I'm not imbecile."
Eric: "I just didn't say it yet!"

Also, Born often has visions of things that have happened before or will happen, regardless how far
in the future or in the past it happens. Sometimes he mistakes his visions for things that are
really
happening. For example:

Born: "I have a vision, 2 huge dogs shall attack as soon!"
Arthur: "Idiot, it just really happened a moment ago!"
Eric: "Are you even capable of telling your visions from reality?"

Most people disregard his visions as consequence of some serious drug, though really no one ever seen
him take any, and Shitstorm even watched Born for some time to make sure he takes no drugs.

The Hobbit with the Dragon Tattoo

Here I shall post canon characters, here you can claim them, as well as post your own characters and wait for their approval.
Here is a character sheet:

Image (if available):

Name:

Sex:

Age:

Race:

Appearance description:

Relationships:

Bio/Description:

The Hobbit with the Dragon Tattoo

Welcome to The Hobbit with the Dragon Tattoo roleplay. This roleplay is heavily based on the lore of a parody universe based on The Hobbit movies, that bears the same name - The Hobbit with the Dragon Tattoo. Or, at least that's the name of the first movie.

There are a bunch of canon characters (canon for the parody universe), that are based on the canon Hobbit characters. The profiles for them shall be posted in the next 1-2 days, and will be open for claim by you, fellow roleplayers.

The lore for the universe shall also be posted in the next 1-3 days.

Let us all have fun!

LORE

Time: Sometime in the future

Place: Pandora

"Big picture" background:

From the words of Arthur Dent:

"This here is Pandora. A colourful planet on the edge of the universe. So colourful, that the main item of it's trade export is your PC desktop wallpapers. This is the very place you get them from."


... "And apart from Super Grandpa, Pandora is populated by a whole bunch of different idiots with 'caved in' brains, or without brains at all.
For example, the local Tailed Blue-Skinned Aborigines. From the first glance, they are peaceful hippies, kind of 'let's become flowers and grass, let's become water and bushes', but as soon the main force of the Pandorian military left for the War, these goddamn 'pacifists' suddenly attacked us, killed all the remaining soldiers, and destroyed to hell all Earth technology. All spaceships, helicopters, communication devices... Even houses on wheels, electric kettles, toilets, even telephones! They threw us back to practically the Stone Age. We're left with only swords and hoes, but you can't even chop firewood with those thing! So in the result, we can't get out from Pandora, nor contact the outside world. These Aborigines have basically got us onto our knees and force us to crawl back to Mother Nature, but we didn't even pollute the Pandorian Nature yet."

"Also, the other local inhabitants, Umapa Loomaps, those beasts, they burn our villages and gobble our chocolates! They steal our chocolates and doughnuts, and they take it from women and children, beasts... Nothing holy."

"And the amount of humans on Pandora is also very huge. For the past hundred years there was a distant Intergalactic Vacation Center, there is a huge bunch of humans stuck here. Those are Planetary Engineers and Terraformers, who were adjusting Pandora to the standards of Mother Earth. Well, ozone holes, greenhouse effect, everything like at home. Also some suspicious extrimals, who came here for their suspicious sport activities... Also some Glamours, kids of some billionaires, sent by their parents to Pandora so that they don't get in the way... As well as some guy like me, who got stranded here by absolute accident.

Known settlements:

Super Sin City - The only know town where the Blue-Skinned Aborigines didn't destroy technology yet. Population - over 10,000

Glamorous Village - The main village of the glamours, located in an isolated river valley between high mountains. Accessible only by 3 paths. Population - under 500

District Number 12, local reservation for those who are over 1.3 meters high - small settlement of short people, Arthur's home. Population - under 500

Hallucinogen Forest - home to the Glamorous Rainbow Bandits, a huge drug dealing area, home of the 48th Ronan. Population - unknown, presumably under 1,000

The Holey Mountain - A great Coal Mine in the past, a Wonka Chocolate Storage now. The main goods stored there are chocolate coins in gold foil wrapping. They are easily mistaken for the god coins stored there as well, that are the Wonka sales profits.

Ruins of the local Jurassic Park - Ruins of an old Jurassic Park, abandoned after the local dinosaurs went extinct. Now a building site for Willy Wonka's new Chocolate Factory. Also the housing of Dark Efirrr

Elizabeth Town - A small human town on the lake that is under the protection of Elizabeth Man... Or is it? Population - under 1,000

RACES:

Human - the most common race, many of them are short, but some can be tall. They usually don't have special powers, save for some individuals.





X-man - very rare, these men (or women) are usually very tall. Almost all X-men on Pandora have lost their superpowers. X-men are known to be the biggest trouble starters on Pandora




Glamour - a minority on Pandora, absolutely all of them are gays - with a few exceptions of lesbians, but women among this group is a very rare sight. They usually have strange fetishes.





Umpa Loompa - there can be literally swarms of them, they are mostly unintelligent and blindly follow the orders of their leaders.

The Hobbit with the Dragon Tattoo

P.S. I am claiming one of the canon characters.