The Mad Hatter

Gobigakure no Sato - A Naruto Roleplay

Pasta Sentient said
Sounds like a lot of fun. I've typically only played Canon characters in the past, but I've some experience with OC's as in this one. Been ages since I did a Naruto RP though. I got my first introduction to Roleplay in EVE Online and then SWTOR, but slowly moved my way to forum RP because of the freedom it provided. So here I am today. Currently trying out a Nation RP for the first time as Great Britain in the Word in Revolution over in the Nation Section. Also a Tim Drake in an alternate Young Justice setting. So I love this kinda stuff. I'm really looking forward to seeing Haruka and Ryuu interact. They are both swordsmen/women but their styles seem to be entirely different. Seeing Haruka's pictures you got made my IRL muscles feel inept. :P Haha. Anyways, really looking forward to more joining us and seeing how this plays out.

I started out doing Live Roleplaying when I was just a kid, moved on to Pen and Paper in my tween years and started playing Post by Post when I was fifteen. I don't think I've ever MMORPG-ed. I've played plenty of MMORPGs (and I'm always looking for the one that I won't get bored of within a few weeks), but I've actually never even cosidered actually roleplaying in one.
I find Nation RPs confusing. I've tried a few (try everything once, you know?), but it wasn't my thing. I've done plenty of Marvel based RPs, though (not much for DC, gotta say).

They actually have a lot in common. With the swords, the gates, the outsider dads and the whole "I need to be better, faster, stronger" no matter the cost -thing. Haruka was always loved and taken care of, though, where Ryuu childhood was not... ideal. Ryuu was a genius, thouhg, while Haruka was the runt of her class. Is a beautiful symbolism, really.
Haruka's physical strenght was actually originally designed for the purpose of pushing the limits between male and female roles. We see lots of superhero women with super-strength, but they're always lean and curvaceous, anyways. We almost never see big, bulging muscle-mass on women (She-Hulk, though). She was originally a bit chubby, too. The missing tooth, as I just added to her CS, was something of the sort as well. Missing front teeth is seen as juvenile and/or downright ugly. ... Her hair, long and in a "feminine" color, was actually burned in the original story, so it would up all short and scorched, resulting in her keeping it short.
I actually had another character, who was the direct opposite of her, in the same roleplay. A Hyuuga, with their graceful movements and slender bodies. She had really long, silky, extremely feminine hair, wore traditionally feminine clothing and even had her nails done. She was weak as fuck and ended up a crippled medic...

I actually do a whole lot of pushing the limit when it comes to my characters. Such as this guy. Who is a guy. A straight guy, even.

Kiyoshi, or Kin for short

After I got a bit better at drawing, he wound up looking like this, though

Second attempt at Kin

ChibiYuki said
Meh with the effort i sowed here, I might as well reap what i have done here. So, sure I have the Paper Release and make the techniques for it.

I think I'll wait for you to fix and finish your sheet before I give you any more feedback on it. It's easier when you have the whole thing.

Gobigakure no Sato - A Naruto Roleplay

ChibiYuki said
Haha sure i wouldn't mind having a review right now, I still need to chop up some things and glue them together so you might as well check so, I can make it look nice in a single swoop.

(Meh i died a little inside when I dropped him from being Chunin to Jonin.... ima try to spend the time to recover ))

Okay, good. 'Cause I already read it.
If changing something as simple as your rank kills you inside, you might wanna find another RP. Possibly in teh Casual section.
As Pasta informed you, we are not too keen on super-strong ninja. We're barely fond of just regularly strong ninja. Obviously, I have some issues with your power levels.

You cannot have the Mokuton (Wood Release) KG. It is stated in the series that only Hashirama and those with his exact DNA (AKA clones) possessed this skill and since we do not (really) want to mess with the history of the world, that kind of eliminates the possibility of that KG.
The Paper thing... Well, the way you have described it, this was a side-effect (more or less) of the Mokuton, so he loses that as well. Even if it was not a result of his Mokuton, the Paper thing was not stated to be a KG or anything, but it was unique to Konan (or will be, I guess). It was so unique, in fact, that it does not even have a name (Super-Ninja-Advanced Origami, lol). Even if I did allow you the Paper thing (which I am not saying I am or am not), you would have to make up completely nrew techniques for it and not use those invented by Konan.

Shall we start with that?

Pasta Sentient said
Sounds awesome. Glad to know we've got some good GMs running this thing. Really looking forward to seeing how the story plays out.

I'm not quite certain what direction I'm going to take Ryuu. I would love to have him slowly shift from disloyal to actuallly acknowledging his friendships as more important than himself. Yeah..its Tsundere but I've not written one of those in ages.

Also, did that jutsu for the sword styles seem decent?

Yeah, that is always exciting. The best part of being GM and being the one who has basically "created" the setting is when the players take it a totally different way that what I was expecting :-P

That's the best part of always (well, often, anyways) using the same character (as I do with Haruka); they turn out differently each time. I give her the same basic skillset (upgraded or degraded to fit the setting in the RP), the same basic personality (thought the insecurity thing is new) and ususally I would give her the same background as well, though this time that was not quite possible.
The first time I used her, she ended up with a Sakura-Sasuke relationship with a ... Hyuuga version of Sasuke (xD) who then eventually wound up dead and had her fall into a deep depression that ended up with her going downright homocidal.
Another time I used her, she got an inventor friend who used her power-house and tank-like physique to test out dangerous cutting edge weapons and the ones that turned out all right, she got to keep. She had weapons coming out her ass.
She's died a few times, too...
Huh... I forgot about the tooth... I'll have to add that to her CS.
Anyways, I find it easier to just let the character control itself; I just write :-P

Yeah, your sword technique is fine, to me. Halvtand will have to approve, too, though.

Gobigakure no Sato - A Naruto Roleplay

Pasta Sentient said
I try! Just trying to help people out based on what y'all have said. If I ever step over bounds just tell me to shut up and I'll zip the lip. Don't wanna undermine your Ah-thore-eetee.

Haha.

Nah, I appreciate (<- thank God for Google) it.
(Halvtand does it all the time, anyways; he actually didn't start out as my Co-GM. He just sorta swooped in on one of my RPs and went "This is how we do sheet" and I couldn't argue with his logic, so I just let him do it; saved me the trouble of being a dick, anyways. That was five or six years ago, I think. We've been working together ever since...)

Gobigakure no Sato - A Naruto Roleplay

ChibiYuki said
Nuuuuuuu all my plans come crashing down >.< How will I become the reincarnation of Harashima and Konan now O.o???? Lel anyway thanks for telling me.... just need to chop my bio into pieces and glue them together somehow

Hi *waves*
I am the GM.
Should I wait a little while to read your sheet so you have a chance to edit it? Or do you want a review ASAP?

Pasta Sentient said
@ChibiYukiI wouldn't normally say anything, but since you are still working on the CS and neither of the GMs are on I thought I would give you a heads up.From everything the GMs, have said they want our characters to be Chuunin level (you marked him as Jonin) and be starting in Gobigakure. From what I understand, our characters need to be under Gobi's administration even if our characters originally came from somewhere else. So just wanted to put that out there before you spent a lot of time on something might conflict with what has already been stated.

Pasta Sentient said
Sorry :( I would suggest reading through the rest of the thread so you can kinda have some ideas about the character levels and such they have in mind.My character was about Sasuke post time skip level when I first made the CS and they asked me to chop him down a good bit. So no worries. Hope it didn't destroy it too much.

Thanks for the backup ^_^

Gobigakure no Sato - A Naruto Roleplay

@Njorne;
First of, did you see/read my "critique" of your character? 'Cause I wrote a full long thing about the summoning that you have not adressed...

Also, I realized that I hadn't really looked at your character's name when I went back to look at it again - Please fix it so it is surname first. And... Usagi, as you have written her surname to be, actually means "Rabbit", which I find odd since you have written that the translation is "Beutiful Night Child (of the) Moon". Moon is Tsuki (月), which technically means "month", too, since the cycle of the moon is a month and ... never mind that.
... And when you write a translation of your character's name, you might want to add the Kanji, too, since it can mean different things depending on how you "spell" it. Miyako means capital, too, if written like this 都. It only means "Beautiful Night Child" when written with those three kanji, like this 美夜子.
Also... The Nickname/Alias shes has ... Is it meant to mean "Daughter/Maiden of Suggestion/Hint"? Or "Daughter/Maiden of Difference/Diversity"? Or "Daughter/Maiden of Parallax"? Or...

Njorne said
The part about it being faster than most people run I intended as a kind of escape/mobility tactic but she's restricted to only levitating a bit off the ground (flat surface) so she can't be floating through trees chasing people and over water (maybe later as she gets stronger). She would levitate a bit off the ground, such as Magneto or something would do, and this would allow her to give a sort of straight-line directional burst of speed? Like a queen in chess, she can just launch herself at a high rate of speed and reposition either in or away from the fight or something of that sort. Its not a long term travel technique where she can magically just fly 500 miles away or some stupid crap.

I am a Marvel nerd, too... I grew up reading the old X-Men comics, when they were still good.
With that said;
Magneto can levitate 'cause most of his body is covered in metal and he uses his magnetic powers to make his armor (with him in it) levitate and can only "repel" things of metal (since he can just move it away from him). Originally, at least. When it still made sense. Just saying...
The magnetic field of flying/levitating and shielding is not really possible. First of all, magnetic fields do not protect anything from physical harm. They can protect against radiation (technically), but nothing physical. She could, perhaps, repel anything metal by making a magnetic field that makes any metal objects that touch it the same pole as the field (since two poles of the same force will repel each other), but she could not shield herself from punches, kicks or the elements... basically anything not metal.
Going into physics, something like the levitating/launching thing might be possible, though (if we assume that a person could actually turn themselves into a magnet). Like how magnetic trains work. She would have to have something to "launch" herself with, though; something of the same magnetic pole as her own. It would be very hard to control, though.

Njorne said
There are no real Taijutsu techniques well because she doesn't have any, yes she is a Taijutsu specialist (like TenTen I guess? Or Zabuza?) but they don't exactly use fighting like Might Guy or Rock Lee, its more a proficiency with their weapon/hand-to-hand combat and since she has unique weapons I figured that was the best tab to slap it in. Later on I'll probably develop some Nintaijutsu if I can think it up.

I think what Halvtand was looking for here were some bukijutsu, which would go under taijutsu.
If you look at my character sheet, Haruka has a "kenjutsu" for her sword, which is basically just a brief explanation of how she uses it.
Haruka uses her broadsword katana, “Seidou (Path of Righteousness)” in a series of slashing, brute force attacks, molding chakra to her feet to stay standing while she swings the sword, due to the weight in the force of her swings.
This is sort of what we want; a fighting style and an explanation on how she uses her weapons. ... ... Actually, I wanted that from Rex and Pasta, too... Forgot that ...
Anyways, using a sword is not just using a sword (I know you don't have a sword), there are many different styles and ways to do it, just like there are many different ways to throw a punch (hand-to-hand combat styles).

....

All in all, if you want to stick with your plan of "Long range throw poison weapons person with Magnet shit", then the rest should be removed.
You can keep:
-Jiton
-Precision is Key
-Poison Specialist
-Bukijutsu (though the "Specialist" should probably go)

You need to lose:
-Sensor Type Shinobi
-Cat-Like Agility ('cause cat's a f*cking psychos with that shit (I have three cats 8D ))
-Animal Companion
-Genjutsu

You need to add:
-Some Taijutsu-Bukijutsu shit

You need to fix:
-The magnetic field of protection technique

Gobigakure no Sato - A Naruto Roleplay

Sathanas Rex said
Well, from the whole insecure personality deal, I thought she wouldn't take it up on herself to lead the others.

Haruka is obsessed with be strong; stronger; the strongest(!) and she will do anything to achieve this goal (read Special Traits; Will of Steel). Being insecure (as she is) is a sign of weakness and a sign of weakness she is not willing to show. She might get mad when told she is clumsy or stupid and she might get depressed when told that real ninja use Ninjutsu, but she will never admit it to the one that has hurt her.
(Actually, I'm adding that to the CS...)

In Haruka's (rather slow (read Special Traits; Not the Sharpest Tool in the Shed)) mind, being the leader is a position of power, being in a position of power means being stronger than the ones that follow you ... You see where this is going? It's all about being the strongest in her mind.

Halvtand said
I really Can't find much to bitch about here. Mostly because she's been with us before and has been fixed so many times there's not really anything left to do. We even spend a good deal of an afternoon just talking about her A-rank, so even that's good in my book.

Wait a minute... Something is not right here. You don't have anything to bitch about? This must be a miracle! But yeah, I get where you're going. Your dood seems good, too. (because I totally read it through and not only skimmed it).

Shadowcatcher

Okay, first things first, I suppose. I really don't like doing this (mostly because everyone else loves your design and I used to do the same thing myself (making Css pretty)), but please fit your character sheet to the format I have submitted. The point of a character sheet is for it to be easily accessible information on the character, not a pretty thing.
Please write the name of the nature transformation/chakra nature/whatever you want to call it, instead of only putting an image. The same goes for the “Loyalty” section (one of the images is broken, anyways).
As fun as theme songs are (I always give my characters one, just for myself), they are not to be submitted in the sheet. Sorry. You are free to post is as a separate thing, though.

About the missions... She could have taken missions in Kiri, but I very much doubt that they'd send a genin with a heart deficiency out on A-rank missions, which are for Jounin. No B-rank, either, since those are for experienced chuunin. That single S-rank one is completely out of the picture.
It would be possible for her to have a few (but certainly not twenty) C-rank missions to her name, as these are meant for experienced genin and new chuunin. D-ranks are fine.

Name: Haruhi Suzumori

Japanese people write their surname first, and since you keep refering to her as “Haruhi” and “Haru” later on in the sheet, I assume that that is her first name.
Small detail, but it counts.
Also... Haruka and Haruhi are gonna be confused about names all the time, since they are both called “Haru” for short :-P

Personality:
History:

I'm sorry to say, but I could barely read through this due to the bad grammar and spelling mistakes. English is not my first language (very far from it, in fact (my fifth, in fact) and as such, I have a hard time reading it when it is not correct. I can accept a few typos and a “there” instead of “their” once or twice in a sheet, but this, I cannot accept.
Please fix the spelling and grammar and I will give you a proper review of this section.
This does not mean that I did not read it, I just want to add. I did. And I do have some issues with it, I just want you to fix the grammar first.

Weapons or Items

Standard Shinobi Tools

No... Just no. There is no such thing as “standard shinobi tools”. What is “standard” differs from person to person. Sasuke carries ninja wires with him; are those standard? Some, such as Haku and Anko, use senbon; are those standard? Do you have soldier pills? Bandages? A water flask? Kunai? Shuriken? Makibishi? Nutrition bars?
If you do, how many do you have? Five of each? Ten of each? Twenty of each? Where do you keep it? In your pockets? In a backpack? A satchel?

Your custom weapons are fine, though. I don't mind those. I have something like the second one attached to my belt, though ;-P

Skills/Abilities

Special Traits

Please take a look at the other sheets for what to do here; write and explanation of the trait, like everyone else.

Cannon Jutsu

Kage Bunshin is a Konoha ninjutsu. Kiri ninja typically use Mizu Bunshin if they want solid clones.

Chidori is an A-rank technique, takes bunches of chakra to use. It was also invented/created by Kakashi and as such would not only not exist yet, but it would be highly unlikely that anyone outside of Konoha would have learned it.

“Chakra Enhanced Strength” was invented/created by Tsunade, a Konoha ninja.

Custom Jutsu

These seem fine, although I am wondering what the point of coating the whip-thing in chakra is in the Heavenly Shark Rain technique?

Njorne said Explaining things

I read this through, but my eyes are crossing from reading too much right now, so I'll give it another look in a minute (or hour) and I'll give you a proper review on it, 'kay?

Pasta Sentient said
You inspired me Shadow!

Added color to my pic. I'm horrible at editing, but it's better than nothing!

… I made Haruka's appearance images myself …

Your image looks way better with color, though. Nice work.

.:EDIT:.
Dammit, I missed something.

Shadowcatcher, about that hitai-ate (forhead protector) image you posted as an idea for Gobigakure no Sato... How does it fit the name of the village (Village Hidden by the End)?

Hope's Harbinger [Post-Apocalyptic Fantasy]

Max said
ROLL CALL.

I am here ... technically.

Busy... So busy...

testing

Ninja


Casual


Formal

Gobigakure no Sato - A Naruto Roleplay

About Njorne

Sexuality: Pansexual

The fact that you even know what a pansexual is (if you do?) makes me want to hug you. (If you don't get why, look at my siggy :P )

Chakra Nature: Jiton
Doton

Oh. Jiton. Well... Yeah, why not?
(Warning; totally useless mini-story) I remember Haruka fighting a jiton user in one of the RPs I used her for … She got her ass handed to her, big time... 'cause she was just throwing weapons around and the jiton user was magnetizing ti all and sending it right back at her. It was fun. Lots of fun, actually.

Why is doton there, but slashed?

Background:

Rape baby... That sucks for her mom. Not a fan of the intelligence on other villages, although I do see this come in handy later on in the game, so I'll allow it.

Special Traits

• Precision is Key


While most Shinobi train for raw power, utilizing force as their weapon. Miyako was knowingly unable to compete and as such has focused on making each movement of hers count. This high level of precision applies to everything from her basic accuracy of her Chakra control, no movement or action is wasted by Miyako.



• Poison Specialist


Being the daughter of two residents from countries harboring the most advanced poison-based styles, Miyako holds a high knowledge of Toxicology. She has synthesized a few toxic brews of her own and also uses recipes and mixtures her mother and father both knew. This combined knowledge is almost unheard of anywhere else in the world.



• Sensor Type Shinobi


Miyako is one of the few Shinobi who has said they can 'feel' Chakra sources, although an amateur at the skill she can still utilize it.



• Cat-like Agility


Having grown up alongside Komainu, she was forced to keep up with his speed and agility. This high level of expectation kept her body honed enough to perform complex agile maneuvers, which she easily translates into her combat style. They say cats always land on their feet, so does Miyako.



• Animal Companion


Since she was a young girl, Komainu and Miyako were best friends sharing a bond neither one needed words to express. Since this goes beyond that of simple friendship the two can easily understand the other's intentions with a simple gaze. Komainu serves as not only a summoning familiar to her in battle, but a life-long friend as well.



• Bukijutsu Specialist


Unable to utilize poweful Taijutsu attacks or complex Ninjutsu skills, Miyako has trained a fair amount in a variety of weapon skills. As of now this includes: Kayakujutsu (Gunpowder Techniques), Bōjutsu (Staff Techniques), Shurikenjutsu (Throwing Techniques), Tessenjutsu (Iron-Fan Techniques).

So... She uses precision over power; that's good. More ninja-like anyways. Fine by me.

A poison specialist, along with being a sensory type as well as using precision and being agile like a kitty-cat; very effective, I must say. This character, I would applaud. However, she also has an animal companion (or a summon? 'cause it's not the same thing) and a powerful KG which we know very little about. To top it all of, she is even a bukijutsu specialist. With four different kinds of weapons.

…

[list]

Summoning Scroll

A large scroll used to summon the variety of weapons in her arsenal, Miyako can also use this scroll to summon Komainu. This scroll also holds the ability to summon a variety of explosives, unique shuriken and other various weapons Miyako may train herself in.

Weapons can be stored in scrolls, obviously. I'm cool with that. How did they get stored there, though? Did she do it herself? Or did someone else do it for her? Because it takes a fuinjutsu (sealing techniques) to seal things and your character does not have any listed?

As for the fact that her animal companion (or summon?) is in there, too. When you seal something in a scroll to summon like that, it actually gets sealed in there. Like Kyuubi is inside Naruto. It gets imprisoned in the scroll. The reason I bring this up, is that fact that you ave Kuchiyose no Jutsu listed as one of your techniques, as well. When something is sealed within a scroll, you do not need Kuchiyose to “free” it (or TenTen would be a busy girl in combat with all that Kuchiyose).

If your animal companion is a summon, who has been contracted to your character (like Jiraiya helped Naruto contract toads), the summon would be “teleported” from the spot it was originally in to the spot where it is summoned and thus would be free to do whatever, when not summoned.
If the animal companion is a summon, your character would not need to keep the “contract” (or “summoning seal”, as it might be) with her, since she merely has to make a blood sacrifice and preform the Kuchiyose no Jutsu.

So... Is it an animal companion sealed in a scroll or a contracted summon?

Ninja pouch

A small pouch on her hip carrying a large stash of supplies for traps including: wires, explosive tags, shuriken, senbon and paint. Also holds a decent amount of room for extra supplies she may be forced to carry along.

I've always wondered if those things were bottomless, like Mary Poppins' bag o' goods, since they just keep whipping weapons out of that thing.
We agree that a ninja pouch is this thing, right? And that, according to what we have seen, it looks like this, right?

… I've got no point. I was just complaining on how they fit all sorts of shit down there. The amount of stuff in your pouch seems believable.

Jutsu

I've got nothing, right now.

I'm gonna have to talk to Halvtand before I make a verdict.

Sathanas Rex said
As for plot I'm thinking that currently, Daiken is the personality suited to be a leader. Daiken wants to leave Gobi, everyone else wants to leave Gobi, safety in numbers, they can tag along! And we've already completed step 1.

Haruka would never follow Dai as a leader. She would fight him for the position and then go sulk in a corner (due to "not being strong enough") and refuse to go, if she lost.

Sathanas Rex said
or you know, without sheets

*quietly steps out of the door*

You, good sir, are a troll. You are no longer to be fed.
(There can only be one, and my meaning in life is to troll Halvtand, as his is to troll me)

Halvtand said
Rex:
I cannot even begin to explain how much i want to kill you, flay you and go there posing as you, wearing your skin as a suit.

Because that's a normal thing to tell people and not in the least creepy/scary.

Halvtand said
Hatter:
You always have more sheet for me to do... That's why I keep disagreeing with you.

If you'd just do the sheet I ask you to do when I ask you to do it, the sheet wouldn't keep piling up like that.

.:EDIT:.

I just realized ... We are just one healer away from a Dungeon Team

Gobigakure no Sato - A Naruto Roleplay

I've had a rough day and now that it is finally over, I just want to sleep the rest of my life away.

... I'll have to settle for a good night's sleep, though ...

@Pasta;
What Halvtand said. I do have a whole thing planned out that I just haven't run by him yet, so that might become a thing if he (for once) does not disagree with me.

@Rex;
Only true Vikings would think to stick an ax on a chain ... and they probably got killed by it and thus it never became a thing *add "True Story" meme here*

@Njorne;
I will have a look at your CS in the morning and give you feedback as soon as possible.

@Halvtand;
I have some shit I want to run by you tomorrow, if we get the time. In the meantime, you look at Njorne's sheet, review my sheet and post your own sheet ... Do something with sheets and you're fine (totally meant to be a lame and slightly perverted joke, but my tired mind may be playing tricks on me).

And now - sleep!