tsubasa

The Making of a New Queen

Anastasia laughed a little and wiped her eyes, "Millie could do less... But... I guess...."

She sighed and leaned against her mother and closed her eyes, "I'm sorry I yelled at you...." She sat there for a little bit and sniffled, "I love you.... even though I'm still mad at you...."

She moved away from her mother and struggled a little as she stood, "I should go apologize to Samsul," She laughed a little, "I hit him yesterday and made him sleep on the couch...."

She kissed her mother's head, "Go back and rest."

Then she was off to find Samsul. Once she did, she wrapped her arms around him and gave him a kiss before burying her face into his chest. She whimpered, "I'm sorry... About how I reacted... I just.... I wanted so badly to trust you but... knowing you kept it all from me... It stung...."

The Making of a New Queen

Anastasia looked away from her mother and shook her head, "I can't leave..." She placed her hand on her baby bump. She couldn't deny their children either one of their parents. Anastasia lost both of her real parents before she had the chance to know either. She didn't even have an inkling of who they were but she still wanted to look. To know. She couldn't take the twins away from Samsul nor could she even fathom leaving them. She could no longer imagining living without Samsul. She wiped her nose, "I don't want to leave... but that doesn't mean I belong...."

The Making of a New Queen

Anastasia looked at her and the anger that she had been bottling up for the last day exploded, "But you did!" She yelled, "You left me here alone and you missed everything. You chose to leave me. I don't care why or what for because it doesn't change the fact that you did. You left me after two months to become a Queen... I had three months to deal with my mother dying and becoming a Queen. It drained me and I doubted everything I did. And all along the people I trusted most... Were lying to me... I'm a commoner... not Princess... Not a Queen. I'm Commonfolk... I don't belong here...."

She let out another sob and buried her face in her arms.

The Making of a New Queen

Anastasia looked at her mother, a broken expression on her face, "You... didn't plan on coming back..... You met me... and told me that... you loved me.... and never planned on coming back!" She felt numb as she stared at her mother. How could she do that? Be alive and choose to never see her again. Anastasia was heart broken and she stood from her seat and turned and left the room, sobbing. She didn't get far before she had to stop and lean against a wall. She slid to the ground and sat there. As mad as she was at her mother for pretending to die, it hurt worse knowing that she was fine with just leaving her behind.

The Making of a New Queen

Anastasia shook her head slightly, still not looking up at her mother, "I was.... scared... I could hardly get to sleep at night because I was scared that someone was going to come into my room and kill me... just like they did to you... It only got worse when I let the castle... It was more common for me not to sleep that to get a couple hours of shut eye.... When I came back and Samsul purposed... I immediately offered for him to sleep in my bed." She sniffled, wiping tears away, "Because I thought if he was there it wouldn't be as scary.... and it wasn't....."

She released her mother's hand and buried her face in her own, "Is that why you wanted me here? So that you could pretend to die?"

The Making of a New Queen

Anastasia sat down next to her mother's bed and looked at the sleeping woman. She took her hand again and waited for her to wake. She rubbed the bridge on her nose, trying to calm down again. When she noticed that Elana was awake, she looked at her. She bit her lip, trying to think of what it was that she wanted to say to her... if anything at all. She placed her free hand in her lap and looked down at it. After a moment, she spoke, not looking at her mother, "Why did you do it? Have Samsul tell me you were dead?"

The Making of a New Queen

Anastasia woke up later in the day, feeling better. She was still upset but she felt better. The wee ones were still in her stomach as she rose out of bed. She rubbed her eyes and placed her feet on the ground. She pushed herself off the bed and stood. She left the door to the balcony open, so the room was slightly frigid. She walked over them and closed them slowly. She didn't really know what to do. She wasn't hungry, so there was no need to go back to the dining hall. Nor was there work to be done. She finally decided that it was probably wise to go see her mother again and began to walk to the room.

The Making of a New Queen

Anastasia closed the book, they were a few chapters further but she was done with reading. The babies had calmed, no longer tumbling in her stomach. She placed the book on her lap and sighed a little. She looked out on the scenery beyond the balcony. She looked at field and sighed. She missed her old life. Being able to do whatever it was that she wanted. Being able to see her parents every day. Being able to trust what it was that they said to her. She sobbed, feeling horrible again. She couldn't think of how she could say that. Despite everything that Samsul did... She loved him and without him the little ones in her stomach, wouldn't be possible. She stood and walked over to the bed and lay down under the blankets. It wasn't long after mid day and yet, she was so drained that she managed to fall asleep.

The Making of a New Queen

Anastasia thanked Eric as he placed the soup in front of her. He walked away, leaving Anastasia to sip at her soup. She tried not to think about the events of that morning. It only upset or angered her. When she finished, she sighed and placed her spoon in the bowl. Standing, she decided to go to their room, the babies were still moving and although it maybe her smile, it was starting to become uncomfortable. She figured maybe if she read to them again, they would calm down. She drag the chair that sat in their room out onto the balcony and grabbed 'The Secret Garden' and sat down, slowly starting to pick up from where they left off.

The Making of a New Queen

Eric walked out in the dining hall and looked at Anastasia. He sighed little, when noticed her cheeks were stained with tears. Walking over to her, he handed her a handkerchief, "What's wrong, Anastasia?"

Anastasia took the handkerchief and wiped her eyes as she whimpered, "My mother... isn't dead... She's here and she's injured and Samsul knew... since she left he knew and then he forgot that she was even alive... and I don't know what or who I'm angrier at..."

Eric looked at her in shock, "The Queen's alive?"

Anastasia nodded, "Gerald and Samsul knew... I can understand that Gerald didn't tell me... But Samsul... we're married and we are going to have kids and he told me he loves me... He was the one that told me my mother was there.... I cried into him for hours.... And he knew it took a toll on me when he let me go on the tour. The entire time... he was lying to me..."

Eric placed his hand on her shoulder, "Yes... He was lying to you... about your mother. Nothing else. He loves you unconditionally. I'll going to go and grab you some soup."

Anastasia smiled at him slightly, "Thank you, Eric."