Queen Raidne said
Oh Drakel, whose pride
comes from fapping to cars, Our
mind - please get outside!
Hey, uh not to nitpick, but while you DID get the general idea of the haiku (5-7-5) each statement needs to be in itself inclusive. As in, you should be able to take out any piece and still have a statement of some sort.
IE: Oh Drakel, whose pride - Is not inclusive, but!
Oh Drakel, full of pride
stemming from car fetishism
please get out of spam
As you can see, in the new haiku each piece can be broken and make sense, but when added together, increases the complexity. Hopefully, you'll write better haiku's in the future.
Enjoy~
is not a complete