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    1. Zobozun 11 yrs ago

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Everybody's got an opinion on this, huh.
STOPMAN III

A dine-and-dasher, huh? This looks like a job for STOPMAN!

Souta stood up, sauntering over and grabbing Jack's arm as he attempted to leave. "Hey, guy.", he said to the weedy, foreign little jackass who decided he was going to pay with playing cards, "Doesn't matter if you think you're a big shot, or you win some kinda dumb game or whatever. You eat here, you gotta pay, alright? That's what a capitalist society is founded on. If you can't pay, you gotta make up some other way. Washing dishes is a common one."

He dragged Jack back over to the counter, "Now I want you to apologize to these people, alright? You've put them under a lot of stress when all they're doing is trying to earn their keep. Hey, if you do it, I'll even trade in that foreign money of yours for good ol' Japanese yen. Deal?"
Wasn't DIO like five arcs ago?
Also he was, you know, a superpowered vampire with an overpowered punchghost and he still would have gotten wrecked by Joseph and Polnareff if not for bullshit regeneration and being able to survive brain stabbings.
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Seiga - Abandoned Basement, Capital City, AgK

Seiga closed the hole in dimensions, pinching the bridge of her nose in mild irritation. No matter, this would be fine. She picked up the tablet Hazama had left on the floor next to his hologram machine. Noting his destination, she fiddled with it for a bit, finding a call button. She pressed it, Hazama's side picking up immediately.

"Excuse me, Mister Incompetent? You seem to have come to the wrong address. I'm looking, and... yes, I'm afraid that's nowhere NEAR the right universe.", she sighed, "You know, if you're illiterate, you could have just told me. Trust me, it couldn't lower my opinion of you any further. Of course, had you just taken the hole I went to the trouble of making for you, it wouldn't be an issue, but you didn't, so I suppose you'll be taking the hard way around. See, from what I've been told, the place I've asked you to deliver to? It has a... field, of sorts, around it that stops conventional travel. My holes can make it through, but your little thing? Yeah, not going to happen. Take it as a test of your resourcefulness, I suppose."

With that, Seiga nonchalantly hit the end call button, crushed the tablet, and chucked it into a corner.

"Where does he have to go, Nyan-Nyan?"
"Oh, the home of some forgettable organization that takes care of stragglers like him. I think they call it... Yggdrasil."
"Are we gonna wait for him?"
"Pfft, no. I'm taking one more trip, then we're leaving. If he does complete that wild goose chase I've sent him on and tracks us down afterwards, well, I suppose we'll have to fulfill our end of the bargain. Till then, we've no further obligation to him."
"What's a wild goose chase?"
"It's a task to get something that's very hard and very stupid to get hold of. In this case, the signature of a high-ranking official, Ms. Knox. She's known for being... uncooperative, to say the least. Say, Yoshika?"
"Uh?"
"'Prince' is the proper term for one such as that, is it not?"
"If Nyan-Nyan says so, then it's true for definite!"
"You're such a good girl, Yoshika. Now then, guard the house while I'm away.", Seiga grabbed a large burlap sack, "I'll just snatch a few and we'll test them at home, okay?"
"Okaaaaay!"

Seiga slipped into the floor once more, gliding through the earth. Luckily, they weren't recognizing anyone's achievements in outstanding cruelty or some such thing today, so it would be a painfully easy task to stuff a few Teigu in a bag and bail. Of course, had Seiga been a normal thief, she'd find this vault more or less impossible, given that it was plated in a metal thought to be indestructible, kept on around-the-clock watch, and was located deep underground within the palace treasury. Seiga was not a normal thief.

Indeed, had they been out on display, under the watching eyes of the prime minister, his guards, and one or more of his loyal retainers- that'd be some serious trouble. The kind of thing a master thief would go after. Seiga was not a master thief, either.

She simply burrowed through the treasury wall once again, into the nigh-impenetrable orichalcum-plated vault which had been the death of many a spy. She hummed quietly as she snatched up anything that seemed interesting and relatively easy-to-carry. A book, a breastplate, a paintbrush, a ring, a mask, all stuffed into a sack with no real ceremony. Her work finished, she tunneled back to meet Yoshika.

"Come, Yoshika.", Seiga said as she opened a hole in the wall between worlds, leading to her secret retreat, "Our work here is done."
"Sure thing, Nyan-Nyan!"

And with that, they left, hole closing behind them.
Seiga - Abandoned Basement, Capital City, AgK

"Oh my, you're right! I completely forgot the name and address! Oh, how silly of me. An errand boy can't do anything if he doesn't know where to go!"

Seiga snatched the envelope, wrote something onto it in an obscure 7th century Chinese dialect, and handed it back to Hazama.

"Here you are; and remember, no peeking! Trust me, I'll know."

With that, Seiga whirled around and waved her golden wand, an ovular hole in the fabric of reality opening up in response to reveal a swirling pool of fragmented shapes and colors. The jumble of images quickly rearranged themselves into what appeared to be some sort of cubist artistry, a mishmash of multiple conflicting perspectives. Needless to say, the effect was somewhat nauseating.

"You should probably get going. If we had done the ritual, you wouldn't have to worry about the hole closing up on top of you, but I'm afraid you didn't, so...", she exhaled and looked at the hole, "...Yyyyyeah. Might want to hurry up."
Seiga - Abandoned Basement, Capital City, AgK

"Oh, please.", Seiga said exasperatedly, "It'll grow back, so what's there to worry about? Oh, but I suppose if you're not man enough, that's your problem. It's only fair to let you know, though: I tend to get a little sloppy when I'm left unsupervised. Now, as for my side of the bargain, I'll be wanting it up front. Don't worry, I'm not asking you to steal or anything like that."

Seiga drew a small notepad and a pencil from her breast pocket, jotting down a quick message on the sheet before folding it and stuffing it into an envelope, sealing it closed with a talisman.

"All I ask in return for my services is that you deliver this letter and bring me the reply. Are you at least capable of that much?"
Seiga - Abandoned Basement, Capital City, AgK

"Oh, dear, that's no good. Just your skeleton, is it?", Seiga frowned, "Well, I didn't want to do this, but I suppose it's necessary. See, for such a ritual to work, the salve has to permeate all layers. Skin, muscle, tendon, blood, and bone. If we can't damage your skeleton, well, I'm afraid one clean slice isn't going to do it; I just can't cut with that sort of accuracy. Nope, nothing for it."

Seiga shrugged and set the containers on the table.

"I'm going to have to flay your hands and cut them manually.", she sighed and rubbed her temples, "Gracious, what a chore... but for a cutie like you, I'm willing to go the extra mile~.", she gave Hazama a playful wink and strolled over to a cabinet in the corner of the room, opening a drawer and retrieving an old potato peeler.

"Whenever you're ready, just set your hands down on that counter on the far side of the room. I'll be right over. Oh-", she turned around and pointed at Yoshika, "You know, I suppose we could have her do it. She eats just about anything, you see, so it'll be faster than doing it by hand. Your decision, really."
Seiga - Abandoned Basement, Capital City, AgK

"Wonderful!", Seiga said as she brandished the razor, "Don't worry, this- Oh, I can't lie to a cute little face like that! This is going to be excruciating, but try and hold on, okay?"

She hummed as she grabbed Hazama's right hand to hold it in place, digging the razor deep into the back of his hand. Then, she took hold and ran it across, one deep, clean cut that marked the bone, causing it to go limp. She repeated the process with his left. Blood pooled up from the wounds, staining both Seiga and Hazama's hands a deep red. By this point, Hazama's nervous system was in all likelihood screaming out in pain, a hundred alarm bells going off simultaneously to inform him that this was not pleasant.

"You have to make sure it's extremely sharp so you can get a nice, deep cut, see? Otherwise, I'm afraid it just doesn't work. Now normally, I'd use an obsidian one, but they're a bit harder to come by in regions like this, so you have to take what you can get. All the same-", Seiga continued as she retrieved a number of bottles, jars, and a small mortar and pestle from beneath her dress, "-I'll have to apply the ritual salve and perform the incantation. Is this okay?"
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