Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by PrivateVentures
Raw
Avatar of PrivateVentures

PrivateVentures Purveyor of the Finest Exoskeletons

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

@Mokley@Exit I've noticed that tends to be the case with collabs. I figure what would be best is for everyone to vote someone in to rewrite the whole thing. A third-person limited point of view in a singular style would help everything flow.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Exit
Raw
Avatar of Exit

Exit

Member Seen 2 mos ago

@Mokley Yeah it tends to get a little confusing when it's multiple people though half of the confusion might be because "Gru's" posts feel like they're interrupting the other three, essentially cause he's being ignored which creates this jarring other perspective that feels unnatural. I'm moving him away from the others so that it's less confusing and so we don't spend too much time introducing another character when we can do that later. I think everyone wants to move forward.

I may end up just removing him entirely from the collab and have him either slip past in my own post or follow the group, the scream having stopped him far enough away from the three to the point where his presence went unnoticed.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Exit
Raw
Avatar of Exit

Exit

Member Seen 2 mos ago

@PrivateVentures Continuing from above, that puts me in a good position to write the collab from Gru's persepctive if he remains at a distance. Again, up to you guys.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by PrivateVentures
Raw
Avatar of PrivateVentures

PrivateVentures Purveyor of the Finest Exoskeletons

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

@Exit The issue with Gru is that he hasn't spoken or made himself conspicuous in any way yet. He just needs a "coming of age" moment, that solidifies him in the setting.
1x Like Like
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Gunther
Raw
Avatar of Gunther

Gunther Captain, Infantry (Retired)

Member Seen 3 hrs ago

@Exit,
@PrivateVentures is correct. I was actually thinking of posting the collab this evening. But yes, it does need to be edited into one consisted voice. I was going to answer Dali's questions and then post it. Would anyone mind if I did this? During the editing, I may ask Exit if something doesn't fit, if he would want to remove it? would that work?
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by PrivateVentures
Raw
Avatar of PrivateVentures

PrivateVentures Purveyor of the Finest Exoskeletons

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

@GuntherI'm cool with anyone posting it. I'm not super possessive.

That having been said, why not give it an extra day, and we each put up our own rewrite from our own point of view, that way we can decide on the best one, and just have that be our final post?
1x Like Like
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Gunther
Raw
Avatar of Gunther

Gunther Captain, Infantry (Retired)

Member Seen 3 hrs ago

Wonderful idea, [@Private Ventures]

Here's mine: :)


I would remove the bracketed texts "Done" before posting.
1x Thank Thank
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by PrivateVentures
Raw
Avatar of PrivateVentures

PrivateVentures Purveyor of the Finest Exoskeletons

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

@Mokley@Gunther@Darach@Polybius@Exit

Don't forget to add in your BBcode. Trust me. It's waaaaay easier to do beforehand.

Without colored text and such, it'll get confusing quickly.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by PrivateVentures
Raw
Avatar of PrivateVentures

PrivateVentures Purveyor of the Finest Exoskeletons

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

@GuntherYou kept all the basics and edited minimally. Only change I would make thus far is fixing Darach's "he spit Dali's skull" into "he split Dali's skull"

But aside from that, your rewrite is PV-Approved
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Gunther
Raw
Avatar of Gunther

Gunther Captain, Infantry (Retired)

Member Seen 3 hrs ago

Yea, I didn't see much wrong with it. I rarely use color, but if you all want me to put color to text, I can do that.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Exit
Raw
Avatar of Exit

Exit

Member Seen 2 mos ago

@PrivateVentures Yeah that's been one of the challenges I'm facing. It's a fun exercise in writing trying to play a "mute" character. Besides that, I also think I missed the fact that Dali duplicated himself which would have made Gru react very differently to the situation.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Polybius
Raw
GM
Avatar of Polybius

Polybius Rhymer

Member Seen 20 days ago

@Gunther@Exit@PrivateVentures@Darach@Mokley

I'd like to limit collaborative posts to 2 players and only when you guys are in a non-combat scene. Ok with everyone?

@PrivateVentures Yeah that's been one of the challenges I'm facing. It's a fun exercise in writing trying to play a "mute" character. Besides that, I also think I missed the fact that Dali duplicated himself which would have made Gru react very differently to the situation.


I think Gru should reveal himself as being quite capable of conversation, for the sake of clarity in the roleplay. I can write in a magical solution to this problem if you wish.

@Gunther Thanks for the write up on the collaboration, would you mind posting what we have up until now?
1x Thank Thank
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Gunther
Raw
Avatar of Gunther

Gunther Captain, Infantry (Retired)

Member Seen 3 hrs ago

Thanks for the write up on the collaboration, would you mind posting what we have up until now?

I posted what we had for that portion of the collaboration. I see Exit and Darach have continued on. I left their text on the collaboration document, but deleted the previous text.

@Exit@Mokley@PrivateVentures@Darach

1x Thank Thank
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by PrivateVentures
Raw
Avatar of PrivateVentures

PrivateVentures Purveyor of the Finest Exoskeletons

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

@ExitAh, yes. That would have been a great variable in Gru's equation of perception. However, I don't know if Gru necessarily needs to speak, but he certainly needs a means of communication. You could even have the automaton corpse on his back speak for him like the Crypt-Keeper.

@GuntherThanks for the post! I can't believe some of my text turned blue though
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Mokley
Raw
Avatar of Mokley

Mokley aka windyfiend

Member Seen 5 mos ago

@Polybius 2 player max collabs sounds like a great call to me, haha. Thanks boss!
1x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Mokley
Raw
Avatar of Mokley

Mokley aka windyfiend

Member Seen 5 mos ago

Not to double-post, but just so I don't muck up any continuity -- should we assume Puliver comes screaming out of the Mourning Quarter after the joint post, since the joint post was started beforehand? xD

Edit: I think I'd misread -- his scream is heard in the street, but Puliver himself is still below?

Edit again: Assumed the latter. Lemme know if I'm incorrect and I'll gladly edit! x3
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by PrivateVentures
Raw
Avatar of PrivateVentures

PrivateVentures Purveyor of the Finest Exoskeletons

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

Dali assumed the worst and went with @Mokley's take on it. Here's hoping for a fast next post!

I am willing to edit if Puliver shows up differently, by the way.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Exit
Raw
Avatar of Exit

Exit

Member Seen 2 mos ago

@Darach I'll post our small collab here in my next post and have Gru move into the stairwell to follow @mokley's post so there's no confusion and we don't need to retcon anything.

I'll make it flow so it works. Expect that tonight.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Mokley
Raw
Avatar of Mokley

Mokley aka windyfiend

Member Seen 5 mos ago

@Exit I will absolutely edit if I've made any erroneous assumptions! :3
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Exit
Raw
Avatar of Exit

Exit

Member Seen 2 mos ago

@Mokley no I like it! Please don't lol.
1x Laugh Laugh
↑ Top
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet