Cover ups

[Larfleeze]

The Catholic church continues to cover up the fact that Jesus was the first vampire. When will the injustice end?

[Jorick]

Jesus wasn't a vampire, you dolt. He didn't need to drink people's blood to survive (the wine thing was other people drinking his blood, not the same thing) and sunlight didn't hurt him. He also wasn't a zombie or a wight or a ghoul or any number of other potential undead creature. He was, in fact, a lich.

Liches are powerful sorcerers who are reanimated in their own corpse, sometimes with a separate vessel housing their soul, and they still bear any wounds they took when dying. Jesus was known to perform miracles like curing diseases and the like, thus he was obviously a powerful sorcerer; he was said to still bear the wounds in his hands and feet and such after he rose from the dead; it is unknown whether or not he had a phylactery. It is clear through the evidence that he was a lich, so please quit with your nonsense.

[Cpt Toellner]

Dammit Jorick.

[stark]

Jorick said
Jesus wasn't a vampire, you dolt. He didn't need to drink people's blood to survive (the wine thing was other people drinking his blood, not the same thing) and sunlight didn't hurt him. He also wasn't a zombie or a wight or a ghoul or any number of other potential undead creature. He was, in fact, a lich.Liches are powerful sorcerers who are reanimated in their own corpse, sometimes with a separate vessel housing their soul, and they still bear any wounds they took when dying. Jesus was known to perform miracles like curing diseases and the like, thus he was obviously a powerful sorcerer; he was said to still bear the wounds in his hands and feet and such after he rose from the dead; it is unknown whether or not he had a phylactery. It is clear through the evidence that he was a lich, so please quit with your nonsense.

[Larfleeze]

Jorick said
Jesus wasn't a vampire, you dolt. He didn't need to drink people's blood to survive (the wine thing was other people drinking his blood, not the same thing) and sunlight didn't hurt him. He also wasn't a zombie or a wight or a ghoul or any number of other potential undead creature. He was, in fact, a lich.Liches are powerful sorcerers who are reanimated in their own corpse, sometimes with a separate vessel housing their soul, and they still bear any wounds they took when dying. Jesus was known to perform miracles like curing diseases and the like, thus he was obviously a powerful sorcerer; he was said to still bear the wounds in his hands and feet and such after he rose from the dead; it is unknown whether or not he had a phylactery. It is clear through the evidence that he was a lich, so please quit with your nonsense.

Be quiet, I will not listen to your disgusting lies, you're worse than the Catholic Church, you're doing more harm than good with your misinformed opinions.
PROOF

[Cpt Toellner]

I didn't even need to open the video, seeing a shirtless guy sitting in a dark room tells me everything I need to know about Larfeeze.

[Larfleeze]

Blitzkrieg said
I didn't even need to open the video, seeing a shirtless guy sitting in a dark room tells me everything I need to know about Larfeeze.

Says the guy with the Nazi set.

[Cpt Toellner]

GERMAN! Rommel was NOT a Nazi.

[Larfleeze]

Blitzkrieg said
GERMAN! Rommel was NOT a Nazi.

HE SERVED UNDER THE NAZI REGIME, THAT MAKES HIM A NAZI, CHECKMATE.

[Cpt Toellner]

Yes, being the only member of the Third Reich to have a museum and monument dedicated to him must mean that he was a horrible person,

[andromedene]

Larfleeze said
HE SERVED UNDER THE NAZI REGIME, THAT MAKES HIM A NAZI, CHECKMATE.

He actually lost his life because he went against Hitler.

[The Nexerus]

[Tick]

This might be the most informative Spam thread I've seen in recent history.

[Cpt Toellner]

ImANargleHunter said
He actually lost his life because he went against Hitler.

Nargle? Defending me?

what?

[Shy]

Blitzkrieg said
Nargle? Defending me?what?

Defending Rommel not you. Don't get ahead of yourself now.

[natsumehack]

Jorick said
Jesus wasn't a vampire, you dolt. He didn't need to drink people's blood to survive (the wine thing was other people drinking his blood, not the same thing) and sunlight didn't hurt him. He also wasn't a zombie or a wight or a ghoul or any number of other potential undead creature. He was, in fact, a lich.Liches are powerful sorcerers who are reanimated in their own corpse, sometimes with a separate vessel housing their soul, and they still bear any wounds they took when dying. Jesus was known to perform miracles like curing diseases and the like, thus he was obviously a powerful sorcerer; he was said to still bear the wounds in his hands and feet and such after he rose from the dead; it is unknown whether or not he had a phylactery. It is clear through the evidence that he was a lich, so please quit with your nonsense.

I would assume he had a Phylactery that is needed to house there soul, a lich is a lich only when it has a soul jar, otherwise it's a shitty undead wizard.

When they put him on the cross must have found his Phylactery and destroyed it, fucking DnD adventures meddling with liches.

[natsumehack]

ImANargleHunter said
He actually lost his life because he went against Hitler.

I went against Hitler but no one is happy for me.

[andromedene]

Blitzkrieg said
Nargle? Defending me?what?

Defending Rommel, actually. But you say that like I have a eeason to hate you, which makes me curious.

WHAT AREN'T YOU TELLING ME???

[natsumehack]

ImANargleHunter said
Defending Rommel, actually. But you say that like I have a eeason to hate you, which makes me curious. WHAT AREN'T YOU TELLING ME???

I might as well tell you, Good old captain has fallen in love with you.

[The Nexerus]

ImANargleHunter said
He actually lost his life because he went against Hitler.

So did a bunch of commies.

Are you defending Stalin?