Hi I've recently begun writing again and I started a story set in a post apocalyptic future. I was hoping to get some unbiased, critical feedback on my opening.
Deep within the soul of human society lies an inconvenient truth. We, throughout history, have debated its meaning and every few hundred years some form of awakening has made the masses of society alter their view regarding it. But it never changes. The truth, the guiding light for our species, is that we are inherently evil. I know this to be true, because I have witnessed the effect that this truth has had on our society. I believe that we are being punished, our people. I have heard the stories, tales of the time before. It seems so glorious, I'd give anything to see it for myself. But the elders have told us that it can never be again and their word is law.
Please tell me the truth, leave nothing out. Note that I intend to make this a short story about the nature of human beings. I want to know if this catches your interest and how I could make it better otherwise. Thanks!
Deep within the soul of human society lies an inconvenient truth. We, throughout history, have debated its meaning and every few hundred years some form of awakening has made the masses of society alter their view regarding it. But it never changes. The truth, the guiding light for our species, is that we are inherently evil. I know this to be true, because I have witnessed the effect that this truth has had on our society. I believe that we are being punished, our people. I have heard the stories, tales of the time before. It seems so glorious, I'd give anything to see it for myself. But the elders have told us that it can never be again and their word is law.
Please tell me the truth, leave nothing out. Note that I intend to make this a short story about the nature of human beings. I want to know if this catches your interest and how I could make it better otherwise. Thanks!